filed under: Zac Efron

If Chace Crawford and Zac Efron had sex (by which we mean when Chace Crawford and Zac Efron have sex) would it by considered twincest?

• Mr. Skin takes to the streets of Chicago to find out which Saved by the Bell babe is the most wanted in the Windy City. (Mr. Skin)

• Samantha Ronson blows a load all over Lindsay Lohan. Load, kiss, same thing. (Drunken Stepfather)

• If Tom Cruise had a comic book. (Holy Taco)

• Model Miranda Kerr dumps Orlando Bloom for Brandon "Firecrotch!" Davis. Trading a eunuch elf for Fat Elvis? That's kind of a lateral move. (Yeeeah!)

• Sarah Jessica Parker gets her chin goober removed; now will only be mistaken for Lemmy Kilmeister 50% of the time. (Cityrag)

• Don't tase me, (Josh) bro(lin)! (The Blemish)

• Katy Perry wants to kiss a girl. A girl named Miley Cyrus. And we liked it. (Hollywire)

• Kristin Chenoweth is charming, funny, and has colossal gazongas. (Fatback)

• Vanessa Hudgens straddles Zac Efron on the beach. She's thinking sex, he's thinking "stop smudging my bronzer." (F-listed)

• Reggie Bush desires less tush from girlfriend Kim Kardashian. He also hates America, freedom, petting puppies, and ice cream. (Celebitchy)

• Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake have ended their "relationship". Now Bret can spend more time with his hair and the finest European extensions money can buy. (Celeb Warship)

• Emmy nominations released; Katherine Heigl's wish comes true when she gets zilch. (Bitten and Bound)

• Cleava Mendes. (Drunken Stepfather)

• "Dear Brad Renfro. We came over to fuck you but you were dead. Love, Tiffany and Amber." Rest in peace, Brad. (Fatback and Collards)

• We want to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!", honestly we do, but we just can't when she keeps flipping us her outer labes. (Taxi Driver)

• Jenna Jameson swears that she will "never spread her legs" for the porn industry again. She will spread Philadelphia's whipped strawberry cream cheese, though. It's the wonderfully spreadable, sweetly fruity topping with only 60 calories per serving! (IDLYITW)

• Alessandra Ambrosio caught Pregnant, too. (The Blemish)

• Zac Efron was rushed to the emergency room for an emergency highlighting. Those buttery chunks ain't gonna streak themselves. (Derek Hail)

• Lumps on Halle Berry's torso: now there are three. (Daily Stab)

• "Now that bulbs flashing more than ever/You can see under my dress, fellas. Ellas. Ellas. Ay. Ay." (Cityrag)

• Jennifer Garner may have been the original target of Tom's Cruise missile of love. (Superficial)

• Pam Anderson and hubby to have reality show. Also, Pam Anderson and hubby to engage in possible oral sex next to pooping dog. (Dlisted)

• Hayden Panettiere is gearing up to give a BJ to Richard Gere or something. (HollywoodTuna)

• Madonna is sporting a nice pair of shiners. (Cityrag)

• Furthermore, she's allegedly fattening herself up on a diet of "porridge". Porridge is a real thing, existing outside The Three Bears? Is she also eating curds and whey, and a pie with Little Jack Horner's thumb in it? (PopCrunch)

• Crack open an ice cold can of Paris Hilton champagne. All the bubbliness of the real thing and none of the clap! (Yeeeah!)

• It's hard out here for a pimp Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. (CelebWarship)

• Tara Reid stuffs her plasticine yambags into a bikini for your viewing pleasure and/or reverse peristalsis. (Drunken Stepfather)

• James Blunt hits Swiss ski resort, sings "you're beautiful! You're beautiful! You're beautiful, so let me bust open your hymen, it's true!" to chalet girls. (Celebitchy)

• Vanessa Hudgens not amused by Zac Efron's oxygen facials and mani-pedi time. (Allie Is Wired)

• Wow, what's Jordan doing with Jay Manuel? (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

So it's come to this.

See, long ago, we made a promise to ourselves (and to you, the reader), that we would not cover any stories that dealt with cast members of The Hills, Laguna Beach, or High School Musical. And we've made it pretty far. It's been a good run. But today we have to bust through the promise like Wilmer Valderrama through Mandy Moore's hymen, because Vanessa Hudgens is naked. Maybe. more »