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filed under: Vince Vaughn

April 11, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: If Everyone Smoked Weed

• Kirsten Dunst is all, "Like, if the whole world smoked weed, man . . . there would be no wars and crime and stuff. You knowwww?" Oh man. Totally, dude. Seeeriously. (Yeeeah!)

• Selma Blair's boyfriend is rumored to be shopping for rings in preparation for popping the question. Which is better than swabbing your anal ring in preparation for pooping. OR IS IT???? (IMDb)

• Rachel McAdams and that Notebook guy are also going to get hitched. Mazel tov. (D Listed)

• Halle Berry bare-ys her berries (kinda) in Esquire. (Egotastic!)

• Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: reunited? And it feels so . . . eeeuuughhhh. (Cityrag)

• Jordan gets her fetus pierced! (Faded Youth)

• FHM goes heaving on the smoothing tool in Photoshop, makes Kim Stewart look slightly less embarrassing. Young Turks be free tonight indeed! Wait, what does that mean. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Howard Stern (not K.) luxuriates in the warm, comforting, leathery glow of Don Imus's verbal gaffe. (Radar)

• Brad and Angelina allegedly purchase $140 million yacht made of marble and gold, because they are Liberace. (PopSugar)

• Par-ass Hilton. (Taxi Driver)

• Snoop Dogg is facing up to four years in prison. Comeback album entitled From the Dogghouse to the Big House . . . and Back Again dropping in 2011. (Celebitchy)

• Jessica Alba busts out her pantaloons to assuage our Dane Cook-assaulted eyes. (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)

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March 20, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "Why Don't You Fuck Your Whole Movie?"

• Lily Tomlin thinks David O. Russell is a "motherfucker". David O. Russell thinks Lily Tomlin is a "cunt" and a "bitch". They Hate Huckabees! Two awesomely NSFW clips here. If you only watch one video of a comedienne and an overrated director trading cruel barbs and throwing set dressing around this year, make it this one.

• YO, Samantuh! Ay oh, oh ay, you're showin' some cleave!

• Vince Vaughn: now 87% more bloated and stinky and crazy!

• Shanna and Travis. Reuinted and it feels so good. Together again, naturally. Baby, just one more try. And so forth and so on.

• Tara Reid eschews bra, trots out those Frankenteats yet again.

• Leonardo DiCaprio held peace talks with Israel's Vice Premier. Because if anyone can stop the fighting with Palestine, it's the homeless kid from Growing Pains.

• Paris and Jenna Jameson compare Fraggle weaves; vaginal chancres.

• We once made fun of Rose McGowan's strange new face. As it turns out, she almost lost her eye in an accident. Yarrr!

• The secret diaries of Anna Nicole are up for auction. "Deer diery. today i waked up and i eated some pasghetti. then i layd down on my can a pee bed and take a nap. then it was time for diner then i had sex with some gies. xoxox"

• Heigl kinda sounds like heinie.

• Salma Hayek sports the Ugly Betty/Love Story hybrid maternity look.

• The Dunst just Razorlights up a room, doesn't she?

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December 06, 2006

Vaughniston Split Over Hungarian Indiscretion

When we woke up this morning, tapped a little meth into our espresso and sat down to peruse the morning's gossip, we noticed the proliferation of "Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn in Real Life Break-Up LOL!" stories but did not read them because A. they were still together? and B. those two, they numb our buns. But then the wily Star magazine unearthed a possibly false but certainly lurid tale of Vince, a college coed, the romantic backdrop of Budapest, and the power of the internets, and we sat up and took notice, in our own blasé, seen-it-all way. We are glamorous and world-weary, you see. more »

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October 05, 2006

People You Don't Care About Are No Longer Porking

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up. And so have Nicole Richie and that one guy. He's like the son of some famous guy who, like, did the luge or synchronized swimming at the Olympics or something. He dated that girl from that show that's like The O.C. only "real"? C'mon, he's tall, has dark hair, wears shirts? You know the one. more »

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August 09, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: A Feast Fit for a Bosworth

• Suri No Middle Name Cruise pictures might finally appear soon . . . in Vanity Fair! Hopefully on the cover, wrapped in swaddling clothes, using Scarlett Johansson's ass crack as a manger.

• Bryce Dallas Howard is baking up a big batch of baby.

• Kate Bosworth ate! Ate cigarettes, water, and lettuce. Baby steps, people.

• Pam from The Office becomes Pam from The Duff-ass.

• When Janet Jackson wants her water cold, she wants her water cold, dammit. Also, yes, she did feel that pea placed under her 12 mattresses last night.

• Newly-separated Dave Navarro is dating newly-separated Jenna Jameson. And she's now #1 on his MySpace Top 8, so you know it's love.

• Jen and Vince: engaged! Whhheeeeeeee! Yayyyyy! Whoooo! Who gives a crap! All riiiiight!

• Robin Williams is in rehab. Body hair rehab, we hope.

• Sienna Miller dons dirty pink cowboy boots, a wedding dress, a red Cleopatra wig, and an exposed upskirt cotton panty look. Indeed, she is truly the fashion icon of our time.

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August 03, 2006

Jennifer Is Sad, Part II

Jennifer Aniston has called off the wedding we didn't know she was having. Is it possible that she was once again the victim of the second-biggest Hollywood dick affliction (after Syphilis): co-star cheating? That must be it. Vince Vaughn had an affair with the co-star of his latest movie, Jennifer Aniston. Wait, WTF? more »

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June 27, 2006

Jennifer Gets Cheeky with Vince's Ma and Pa

Your average girl would feel a little awkward walking around buck naked in front of her boyfriend's parents. Add in a team of movie cameras witnessing the strip down, and you've got a terrifying situation. Unless you're Jennifer Aniston. Then you say, "Yeah, sure, your parents can get a good look at my ass. And why don't you invite the family dog and your ten-year-old cousin and your high-school lunch lady. Hey everybody, look at my ass!" more »

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June 13, 2006

Jennifer's Smokin', Vince's Laughin'

Usually when a girl's husband cheats on her and she's suddenly single and needs a good rogering, she finds some hot asshole with whom she can barely carry on a conversation but who gets the job done. And it doesn't matter if he's a total prick who calls her fat to her face, because once she's had a good bout of rebound sex she never has to see him again. But in Jennifer Aniston's case, she just kept on dating the guy. more »

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November 17, 2005

CNW Junk Drawer: Get Hep!

• Hepatitis A, Matt Damon, thongless male-on-male mud wrestling, and golden showers. We're not talking about Ben Affleck's bachelor party, we're talking about a Steven Soderbergh joint!

• Britney might be ready to finally get rid of those 170 extra pounds of ugly, useless flab. AKA, divorcing K-Fed.

• Or, she might be ready to accept a few more of his cornrowed sperms and bake another baby, because according to the oracle, it is written. Specifically, she's predicted to "fall pregnant", which sounds as if she's about to befall a hideous malady. Which is not too far off the mark, really.

• But who gives a crap, let's just look at Britney's pointy Spears, unfettered by brassieres. Hey, that rhymed.

• Madonna took it for a spin. It inspired Carmen Electra to bellow racial epithets. That's right, little ones--it's Dennis Rodman's rod, man (NSFW).

• Paris Hilton and the Jolly Greek Giant are still relaxing in the warm, bubbling hot tub of amorous rapture despite nasty rumors to the contrary and Baby Luv the Monkey's diabolical plot to tear them apart.

• Jennifer Aniston has been named GQ's (Wo)Man of the Year, along with her rumored beau Vince Vaughn and rapper 50 Cent. So, in order to be a major magazine's people of the year, all you have to do is A. have your husband divorce you after upgrading to a better model, B. bang aforementioned divorcée, or C. have Pittsburghers shoot each other during a screening of your movie. Oh man, we totally have next year's title in the bag!

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November 08, 2005

Now We Know How Larry King Gets All Those Wives

Again, all you have to do is hold your thumb over that pesky last word. WENN/IMDb headline writers are a devilish bunch.

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October 17, 2005

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: More than Just Friends (Ugh)

If any of you are in the vicinity of Angelina Jolie on this fine day (perhaps because you are a sick loser and spend your day rooting through her trash cans in hopes that she maybe threw out a pair of used panties or something) do not let her look at any celebrity gossip. She will be pissed that Jennifer Aniston was kissing all over Vince Vaughn in public and stealing her hot and sexually satisfied spotlight. more »

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October 14, 2005

This Day in Celebrity Hookups

The sizzling romance between Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn heats up in the Windy City, while Oscar-winning legend Al Pacino's been spotted in Canoodle City with not-so-Fat Actress Kirstie Alley! LOL!

Whew. Sorry. We're practicing for our big Pat O'Brien Halloween costume. (We've already got the hookers and coke part down pat). more »

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June 23, 2005

Aniston Gets Smithed, Humped

Jennifer Aniston is booked into Chicago’s Peninsula Hotel under the name Mrs. Smith. She is so clever. In all these months that we’ve been stalking her we were only checking for the names Rachel Green and The Shattered Wreckage of the Angelina Jolie Vagina Tornado. more »

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