CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: Vanessa Minnillo

October 08, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Minnillo Licks the Vanillo

• Vanessa Minnillo fellates a PInkberry spoon. (F-listed)

• Can't lose that last stubborn five pounds? Get gastric band surgery! Courtney Love did. (Yeeeah!)

• Pics from Britney Spears's new video for "Womanizer". Lots o' wigs, and not a batty pink one amongst them. (Pop on the Pop)

• Madonna bans Sarah Palin from attending her shows. Because Sarah Palin is a really huge fan of Breathless Mahoney and the video for "Justify My Love". (Daily Stab)

• Miley Cyrus makes out with Minnie Mouse. Because that's just how she rolls, man. (Drunken Stepfather)

• David Duchovny and his heat-seeking wang released back onto an unsuspecting pubic. Public. (IDLYITW)

• Lauren Bacall calls Tom Cruise "vulgar", "sick", "ridiculous", and "a maniac". You forgot "short", Betty. (Exposay)

• Nick Nolte's house burned down, and NO, it wasn't because he dropped a doob onto the bed, jerk. (PopCrunch)

• Pete Doherty wants to perform in a rat-filled coffin. When asked for comment, rats said, "Ew, disgusting." (NME)

• A party at the Playboy Mansion inspires Anna Faris to greater heights of promiscuity. (Mr. Skin)

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But not forgetting the nipple patches. Damn you, Kristen Bell. (Don't Link This)

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June 04, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Rhys Is in Pieces

• Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)

• Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)

• Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo dressed as cheerleaders, Carmen Electra in jazzercise gear. You're welcome, pre-verts. (The Hollywood Gossip)

• The fetus is out there. And by "there" we mean in Gillian Anderson's womb. (F-Listed)

• Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen married Brooke Whatsherguts last weekend. We didn't report on it because it didn't involve insulting Denise Richards. (Allie Is Wired)

• Lily Allen's hair is pink, her face is green, and her liver is pickled yellow. Fun drunk shots! Luv u Lily. (Derek Hail)

• Astley Tisdale: prepare for mass RickRollage. (The Blemish)

• Vanity Fair is in deep shit for implying that Gina Gershon let Bill Clinton's presidential peen into her Oval Office. Crystal Connors, NO! (Defamer)

• Eva Longoria is sporting what appears to be an inflated pregnancy rack, highlighted by the most burnt sienna of tan-spackle. (D-listed)

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November 21, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "I Just Crave Nicotine Sometimes"

• Hayden Panettiere continues to blaze a flouncy, lace-trimmed trail straight to Saucytown. (Egotastic!)

• Amy Winehouse celebrates Christmas early by hanging sparkling white ornaments amongst the branches of her nose hair. (Yeeeah!)

• Hey, look! It's Beyonkadonkcé. (Derek Hail)

• Vanessa Minnillo's bikini bottoms are intelligent, as they wisely creep up her cheek cleave and allow us to rejoice. Huzzah! (Drunken Stepfather)

• When Perry Met Sally. (Celebitchy)

• Dennis Quaid's newborn twins get a leg up on all the other celebrity babies by ODing. That was mean, sorry. (The Blemish)

• Headline of the day: "Nicole Richie's Pooch Pee Plea". (Female First)

• British model/reality star Sophie Anderton will charge you $20K to allow you to snort cocaine off her bewbs and then make the love with her. (Fatback and Collards)

• Ashlee Simpson has secrets. Smoky, smoky secrets. (Allie Is Wired)

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July 05, 2007

Nick and Vanessa's Whirlpool Sex Hotter Than 98 Degrees

We haven't really touched much on the whole "Nick Lachey cramming it into Manesso Vanilla in a hot tub pics" thing because we are purveyors of flesh, and so far, only censored pictures have come up. But today, our friends at Celebitchy are hosting a few of the shots (originally posted elsewhere) that definitely appear to be the couple having actual intercourse within the confines of a hot tub, the swirling waters a churning miasma of bacteria and crotch juice, their faces twisted into masks of orgasmic ecstasy. Never did we think we'd be using "Nick Lachey" and "orgasmic ecstasy" in the same entry, but seriously, click that link and see if you can control the spasms of sexual bliss that your groin will experience after one look at Nick's totally sick tribal tats, dude. more »

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July 03, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Ambien And Candie's

• Scarlett Johansson dons septum piercing, (fake?) tattoo; dresses like Hot Lips Houlihan. (CityRag)

• Hunkosaurus Rex John Stamos blames his recent slurry interview on Ambien. Right now, David Hasselhoff and Paula Abdul are cursing themselves for not thinking of that one first. (Glitterati Gossip)

• Crack-addicted, clammy, rotten-toothed, smack-shooting, overgrown fetus cheats on beautiful multimillionaire supermodel icon. What? (Yeeeah!)

• Thanks to Fergie, product-plugging in songs is about to get even more prevalent. We can't wait for Jay-Z to namecheck Palmettos and for the new Avril Lavigne album, "Heartache and Kraft Singles, Which Are Made with 100% Real Milk". (Allie Is Wired)

• Michelle Rodriguez does public chin-ups, though she probably also does pubic chin-ups. With girls. (Derek Hail)

• The reason we haven't seen totally naked, total-body, high-def pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo full-on boning in a hot tub? M-O-N-E-Y. That, and the fact that no one really cares about 'em much. (Celebitchy)

• More Megan Fox. Now, 22% more see-through. (Popoholic)

• Eva Longoria has a serious problem involving an ass crack, hungry for spandex. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

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June 05, 2007

Vanessa Minnillo: Lindsay Lohan's Secret Knife-Play Buddy

Yesterday when you saw those pictures of Lindsay Lohan playing with a knife and her anonymous friend trying to free Lindsay's jug from its spandexy prison, you thought, "Gee, Lindsay's friend sure is helpful. I wish she would've pulled a little harder though." Well, turns out Lindsay's friend is Vanessa Minnillo. And welcome to the two seconds in which Hollywood's most bland pseudo-famous person seems almost, sorta, still not really interesting. And it's over. more »

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May 16, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Wonderjocks

• If a Denise Richards and Richie Sambora break up in the woods and no one is there to care, do they make a sound? (TMZ)

• Avril Lavigne, topless. He was a sk8tr b0i, I said see my taters, boy. (Yeeeah!)

• Mary Kate Olsen slips rib. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Justin Timberlake flew Jessica Biel and her first-class ass to England for tea and beans on toast. No, for canoodling. Canoodling. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Ewan MacGregor wears junk-enhancing briefs. Are they 18 hour? Do they lift and separate? (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Teri Hatcher has leopard-spotted pubic hair! Or underwear, whatever. (Taxi Driver)

• Is Vanessa Minnillo humping Nick Lachey's butt in the pool? Because it really looks like Vanessa Minnillo is humping Nick Lachey's butt in the pool. (Derek Hail)

• Britney Spears hates her mom and did not call her or visit her on Mother's Day, when said mom was in the hospital with pneumonia. Then she tear-gassed an orphanage and crapped on a veteran's memorial. (Glosslip)

• David Faustino got busted for weed possession for the most convenient headline ever. (Celebitchy)

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May 03, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Powderpants

• Kate Bosworth takes off her bikini just long enough to slip a bit of nip. (Egotastic!)

• John Voight finds his daughter "fascinating" and "attractive". And "stunning". If Papa Joe Simpson ever gets out of the daughter managing/ogling game, he might have a worthy replacement. (GlossLip)

• Sienna Miller slips both nip and panty waistband in the same outfit. Now that's multitasking. Slutty multitasking! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Busta Rhymes got Busta-ed. What a hilarious play on words! (Yeeeah!)

• Vanessa Minnillo shills for Bongo jeans. Bongo's still around? What's next, Jessica Alba for Palmetto and Mischa Barton for Camp Beverly Hills? Anyway, cleavage. (Derek Hail)

• Eva Mendes either showing a swath of upskirt panties, or she has a crotch that is a colorless, shadowless void. But which? (Taxi Driver)

• Kate Moss turns up with white powder on her pants. We dunno, Kate is pretty much a pro at blowing rails--it's hard to believe she'd let some go to waste hanging out on her Tsubis. (The Blemish)

• Scary Spice is taking Norbit to court, cuz she's mad at him, haaaay. (TMZ.com)

• Carmen Electra: in Soviet Russia, booty short and yarn bra wear YOU! (Cityrag)

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January 18, 2007

Hot Legs, Charlize is Wearin' Me Out

A flame-painted PT Cruiser pulls up to the curb. The door opens. Out pops four pump-shod women, one of whom has just been given the trampy makeover of her life by the other three. They wreak havoc on the denizens of a diner as three men--two bearded and one just named "Beard"--apparate, chuckling and throwing gold-plated keychains around. The made over woman is Charlize Theron. She's got legs. And she knows how to use them. more »

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January 10, 2007

Paris's Bringing Nipples Back, Them Other Fuckers Don't Know How to Act

Paris Hilton is sick of all you bitches co-opting her style and flashing your gashes all over Hollywood. That shit's played out, yo. She's got a new game, and it's straight retro. She's making 2007 the year of the nipple. Cause she keeps it old school, dawg. more »

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January 02, 2007

Vanessa Fucking Minnillo Screws Herself

It's New Year's Eve. You're wearing a pretty, sparkly dress that showcases your ass in a pleasing manner. You are getting ready to kiss the man who made you more famous than you ever should have been (and who, somehow, still clings to an undying fame himself, even without any discernable money-making artistic output). Your only job is to espouse how "tight" and "fresh" that new Gwen Stefani video is and how you can't believe how "slammin" her body is so soon after having a baby (and you're getting paid a--presumably--ridiculous sum to do so). But instead you slip in a "fucking." Welcome to the no-longer-charmed life of Vanessa Minnillo, soon-to-be ex MTV VJ. Even Martha Quinn is laughing at you right now, Vanessa. more »

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