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filed under: Usher

April 04, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "A Shadowy Flight Into the Dangerous World of a Man Who Does Not Exist."

• Usher Raymond's life is unnecessarily complicated.

• OMG, KITT is for sale! For a mere $100K, you can own a 1982 Trans Am that doesn't actually speak.

• Tori Spelling's new bundle of joy graces People, has mom's original nose.

• Large-breasted Brit (we're starting to believe that there are no other sorts of Brits) Lucy Pinder shucks bra for a magazine called Nuts. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

• Pammo Anderson brings back the slo-mo, running-on-the-beach Baywatch cleave ripple. And if you're not down with that, there's a cute puppy, so . . . hey.

• We don't generally condone violence or the issuing of beatdowns. But when it happens to Joe Francis, we're still going to snicker like Muttley a little, sorry.

• Suri Cruise: silent naked weave-styling (last item).

• Halle Berry celebrates getting her Hollywood star with cleavage, as everyone should. Yeah, we're looking at you, John Tesh.

• Hey, can you maybe answer a question that's been plaguing us for over a year? Why does Pete Wentz always, ALWAYS pose for pictures doing that "oooh, you baaaad" sneer? Is it because an errant fisherman caught him on his hook? Because that's what we're fantasizing.

• Take a tenderly lumpy journey through the bas relief world of celebrity lipo.

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September 27, 2005

"Oh my God, Tara Reid fell on me."

Sometimes we hear stories that make us wonder why we don’t attend more events like club openings in Las Vegas. Then we remember that we weren’t invited because we are an ugly and fat nobody and then we cry and cry and eat some Double Stuf Oreos until we hear an embarrassing story about Tara Reid and thank the God of Kabbalah that at least we are not her. more »

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May 10, 2005

Usher to Tori: You Lick Me! You Really Lick Me!

Do you remember how frigid and virginal Donna Martin was on 90210? How she made poor greasy David Silver wait for like ten years before she would finally get down to some humping? Well, Tori Spelling is no Donna Martin. more »

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April 28, 2005

Usher: Crap!

We don't know about the rest of you, but we just love for our celebrity autographs to be contaminated with traces of fecal matter. Apparently Usher has doo-doo-loving fans who are just like us. more »

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March 22, 2005

Smells Like Usher

What ever happened to the days when we wanted people who knew what they were doing to design the products that we use? Why would anyone prefer to wear a shirt designed by P. Diddy rather than someone who’s actually touched a sewing machine at some point in their life? And why would anyone give up a proven classic like Chanel No. 5 for Eau de Usher? more »

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February 07, 2005

Usher's Life Sorta Doesn't Suck

A teenage model got a little more than she signed up for when she went to Usher's hotel room. Expecting straight-ahead groupie sex, maybe a social disease or two, she wound up in a tangle of seven naked bodies on a bed, with Usher sitting like a very ripped cherry on top. more »

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January 27, 2005

Usher: What an Ass(phalt).

Do you wanna know how Usher got such a hot body? It sure wasn't by walking! We thought that the Usher diva moments would be toned down just a wee bit once he dumped that restaurant-bill-hoppin', nipple-barin', assistant-beatin' bag of bones he'd been carrying around, but boy, were we wrong. The boy can't even walk himself down the block. more »

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January 18, 2005

Usher Dumps Naomi. Naomi Bares Nipple.

What an upset! We thought Naomi would be the one to dump indoor-sunglasses-wearing Usher, but he beat her to the punch and dropped her for being "boring". Apparently, mauling one's personal assistants and creating big hoo-hahs at restaurants just aren't exciting enough to keep Usher interested. Naomi then struck back with the old "Nip slips are the best revenge." more »

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December 22, 2004

Naomi and Usher Over ... or At Least Getting There

Was it the assistant-beating? The restaurant wig-out? Is Usher "having a baby with a woman he barely even knows"? Or did he finally figure out that Naomi's certifiably cuckoo bananas? Whatever the reason, the snitty supermodel and the man who looks like a peanut M&M are on the rocks. more »

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November 30, 2004

Naomi Campbell Flips Her Weave Yet Again. Yawn.

You know, when you're being sued for smacking the crap out of your third personal assistant, it would be wise to keep a low profile and play the part of the calm, demure, self-contained supermodel. But this is Naomi Campbell we're talking about, and as she throws a snit fit in a London restaurant, she drags singer/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lookalike Usher into the fray. more »

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