filed under: Tyra Banks

We all know that Tyra Banks doesn't fancy herself a Hollywood glamor girl of the Audrey Hepburn stripe. The only thing that seems to embarrass her is the prospect of a gentleman caller catching her de-wigged bald head. But we never would have guessed that Tyra is so comfortable with herself that she'd stock an emergency change of clothes just in case the toilets were a little too far, she was a little too lazy to get up, and she had a craving to feel a warm squishiness in her drawers. According to Gawker:

Former New York "It" boy and Paper magazine blogger Fabian Basabe writes on his blog today that the supermodel turned TV personality, um, soiled herself at Fashion Week. Basabe was filming an interview in the W suite at the tents, and suddenly a whole cadre of people barged in and kicked him out. The reason? Tyra needed to change her clothes. Because of the incident. Apparently they had a spare change of clothes all lined up which makes him wonder if it's happened before. Obviously we have no real confirmation on this. I'm not really sure if Tyra Banks pooping herself is newsworthy, but maybe Basabe's continued usage of the icky term "messed herself" is? Apologies.

We think we smell a rat, and not feces, here. "Messed herself" does not directly translate to "shat herself." Maybe Tyra was munching on a long john and, upon chomping down, a big glop of custard fell onto one of her knockers and stained her shirt. Or maybe she's been hoarding some of those Olestra chips and decided to binge before her interview, resulting in a nasty bout of anal leakage. Which is not the same thing as shitting yourself. It's like the difference between Hershey's chocolate syrup and a Mr. Goodbar. Totally different.

Paris Hilton performing night vision penilingus. Chyna sporting a bigger ding dong than her dude. Screech's upper lip turd-smear. Eve making a colossal dildo disappear before our very eyes. "Touch my balls and my ass." There's been a creepy lull in the celebrity sex tape scene, and nary a whisper has been heard since empty promises of Kim Kardashian being urinated upon, but the next star to step up to the grainy, pixellated plate might just be Ty Ty Baby Banks, her weave bobbing unsteadily above a lucky man's groin. more »

• Stallone steroid scandal. Stallone steroid scandal. Stallone steroid scandal. Say it five times fast.

• Tyra Banks recreates her iconic swimsuit issue cover shot. Too bad her face looks like she's dropping a log in her bikini bottoms.

• Gretchen Carlson finally lends credibility to FOX News with a liberal view of her panty-clad crotchial area. Did you catch that? Liberal! Haw haw?

• Brody Jenner is pissed that Details insinuated he was using Nicole Richie, but says it's all good because he has "broad shoulders". Wait, what?

• Watch in rapturous wonder as Jewel nearly drops a forkful of food down her cavernous chest chasm.

• Anna Nicole's death is a lot like her life: with a bunch of creepy men all fighting over her body.

• Speaking of Anna Nicole, her small, purple-haired, Broom Hilda lookalike tuff gal former assistant Kimmie speaks out, accusing Howard K. Stern of being an asshole!

• Or not.

• Michelle Rodriguez "never killed a pot head".

• Naomi Watts is likely preggo via Liev Schreiber, who ejaculated semen into her vagina.

So what were the serious journalists over at In Touch doing while People was negotiating their $4.1 million buy of the Brangelina family fun pics? They were rating celebrity racks. Because who cares about Piloh Shitt when there are boobs to ogle? more »

• Kelly Osbourne thinks Paris Hilton inspires parents to dress their children like hookers. Would she rather the children of the world take fashion cues from her?


• Is Liz Hurley all knocked up again? Does anyone care?

• Nicky Hilton calls Mischa Barton a "fat pig". Huh. Maybe she meant "stuck pig"?

• Remember those Lisa Loeb thong shots we showed you yesterday? Of course you do. Well, now you can see those pictures move! It's called "the talkies", which translates to "motile ass".

• Jodie "Stephanie Tanner" Sweetin was a meth head, but she's since Cut! It! Out!

• Oh, speaking of thongs, flash leads to a see-through dress in Alyssa Milanoland.

• Egotastic!'s got the poop scoop on what's really going down betwixt Sienna Miller and Darth Vader. It's considerably less sexy than previously thought.

• Tyra Banks rocks the pit stubble. Fierce!!!

• Quote of the year: "If you're going to be raped in a movie, it may as well be Vincent Cassel." Oh, Jennifer Aniston, you are so terribly high-larious.

• Oh yeah, Oscar nominees.

• Tom Cruise's next potential film project will be a "contemporary romance". We have a good idea for a romantic film! Boy divorces girl, elders at boy's cult pay new girl to perpetrate like she's dating boy, boy jumps on furniture, cult elders impregnate girl with mythical animal-human hybrid, and . . . aw, never mind. Nobody would buy it.

• The unpleasant weave Tyra Banks sported on last season's Top Model has migrated to her lip. That's fierce!

• Joaquin Phoenix: method actor.

• When you litter, Patrick Swayze turns his weather-beaten, spiritual face to the skies and weeps a solitary tear.

• Paris Hilton gets her stoolbox hosed out.

• Oasis member Noel Gallagher calls Jack White "Zorro on doughnuts". And, well, uh, he's kinda got a point there.

• A stripper had drunken floor sex with David Arquette. Strippers have low standards.

• And Mariah Carey has an employee who helps her lift those pesky beverages to her parched lips. Don't snicker--the strawmaster probably makes more than you.

• Pink says she wants to have lezzie sex with Kelly Osbourne. Well, that makes one of us.

• Jessica Alba pokes our eyes out. With her tits.

• Renιe Zellweger's behatted bygone ball and chain Kenny Chesney assures us that he's "pretty firm" in his sexuality. Just pretty firm, though.

• Stamos Nachos learns an important lesson: when driving Paris Hilton's Bentley under the influence while chased by paparazzi and while bystanders are filming the whole melee, do not obscure your drunken double vision with your jacket or you will crash into a truck, leaving your girlfriend no other recourse than to blow kisses at the cops. Oh, please, like we all haven't been there.

• Mischa Barton's publicist once urged her to play hide-the-hot-dog with Leonardo diCaprio to further her career. Mischa expressed digust, not because he looks like a weepy-eyed Pekingese or the fact that he was on Growing Pains and totally has gross Ben Seaver germs, but because he's "like, thirty, or something".

• Jessica Simpson tried to pull an Angelina and went on a humanitarian mission to Africa, only to fake sick. Because she's an asshole.

• Models! Fluffy wings! Horny elves! Tyra Banks's farewell to modeling! Asses curiously devoid of cellulite! Light-up tit-tays! Candy canes! Inexplicable puffballs! High-res pics! Heidi Klum having a better body 8 hours after giving birth than we had at age 16! It's the Victoria's Secret fashion show! Wheeee!

When it comes to nudity, Tyra Banks has always heeded the wise advice offered by Janice in The Muppets Take Manhattan: "Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it IS 'artistic.'" However, Egotastic has unearthed some older photos which may or may not include a vague shadow of nip. Squint your eyes and search for those rosy buttons; that is, if you can tear your eyes away from her large, ever-present russet weave. more »