filed under: Tricia Helfer

• Singer/asshole Ryan Adams goes to comic shop expressly for the purpose of fondling Mandy Moore. Nerds everywhere cut selves. (The Blemish)

• Tara Reid works a bikini, haters be damned. (Drunken Stepfather)

• It's entirely possible that Tony Romo will never fumble with Jessica Simpson's footballs again. (Yeeeah!)

• Celebrity Muppets. (Cityrag)

• Kelly Brook is back together with your friend Billy Zane. (F-listed)

• Lily Allen once sang that she wanted to see you smile. Today, the dream becomes reality as shots of her cliff-diving topless emerge. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Some skintage flesh! Tricia Helfer nip slip circa 2007. Battlestar Galac-tit-ca. (Fatback)

• The new cast of 90210 revealed! That one was for all of our under 12 and gay readers. (Bitten and Bound)

• How I Met My Emo Lover, by Flashlee Simpson. (FemaleFirst)

• Another kind of "bump" for Britney. (Daily Stab)

• Shia La Beef on La Zit Cream. (Celebitchy)

• When scabies met impetigo: a tender love story featuring Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty. (Seriously OMG WTF)

• Amy Smart has a well-padded poon. (Taxi Driver)

• Tricia Helfer will be ponying up some Battlestar Galactitties in Playboy next month.

• In the biggest horseshit story of the day, Jen Aniston supposedly partied with the K-Fed. We're trying to picture Jennifer in cornrows and man-shants. Not bad.

• Perhaps the reason Jen is slumming is because she caught wind of Angelina insinuating that she and Brad had boners for each other while the Pittistons were still involved?

• Eternal Sunshine of the Thetanless Alpha Clear? Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm just I'm just Jenny from Teegeeack of the Intergalactic Federation?

• Evel Knievel vs. Kanye West. Sadly, not a sneak peek of a new episode of Celebrity Boxing.

• Paris is defending Britney's questionable parenting skills, saying, "She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting." Seriously, duh! She goes out and shows her slopbox and does body shots and THEN she goes home at 4 A.M. to play with the babies. No biggie!

• Adriana Lima and the Case of the Bikinified Virgin.

• Take your key and unlock Jordan's heart, and her vagina, conveniently located next door to one another.

• Sylvester Stallotox takes the blame for starting that whole Richard Gere-assgerbil rumor. Guess we know who to point the finger at for that whole "Danny Wood semen stomach pump" thing.