filed under: Sophie Monk

When you hear the word "monk", you either think of dudes in burlap robes making wine or a 1960s rock band. What you may not know is that "monk" can also refer to Sophie Monk, the delightful young lady you see before you in these pictures. Yes, the blonde in the bikini. Her. The one who was on Entourage and was at one time engaged to a random Madden. So now the word "monk" is forever linked in your mind to a scantily-clad, frightfully taut body topped off with blonde hair and a pair of lips the size of your average Escalade. Let's just hope that your school doesn't take you on any field trips to monasteries to tour their breweries or you might find yourself rubbing erotically against a dude named Brother Alan with a shaved head. Or freaking up against Tony Shalhoub maybe.

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• Sophie Monk's nipples try to stab their way through her bikini top. Like they were pink, squishy pirate cutlasses. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• David Duchovny was scared that wife Tea Leoni would give him a beatdown when she saw his makeout scene with Gillian Anderson in the X-Files movie. Guess we can assume she's never seen Californication. (FemaleFirst)

• Nick Hogan turns 18 on Sunday. That means big boy jail! Yayyy! Sooo big! (Allie Is Wired)

• Despite the pap songs, the fishbelly complexion, and the castrato voice, being James Blunt is kind of sweet. (Cityrag)

• More details about Batman giving his batmom a batshove. (Yeeeah!)

• Heather Locklear has been successfully rehabilitated. Locklear v. 2.0 ready for deployment. (The Blemish)

• Amy Winehouse wants at least five children with cracky, smacky husband Blake. Though since he's just been sentenced to 27 months in jail, that might be difficult outside of conjugal visits. (CelebWarship)

• Two weeks post-birth, and Nicole Kidman's gut is flatter than yours. The world is a vampire. (Hollywire)

• Gabrielle Reece shoves her volleyballs into a bikini top. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Picture it. 2008. Estelle Getty dies at her home. We'll miss you, Sophia Petrillo. (PopCrunch)

• Beyonce still not talking on the wedding rumors, but is she also gestating Hova Jr.? (Celebitchy)

• Eva Herzigova is definitely pregnant. You can tell because of the giant baby inside her belly. And the naked breasts, gravid with lactocity. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Also pregnant and half naked? Tori Spelling in a bikini. (Derek Hail)

• Sophie Monk: not pregnant, also in a bikini. We've closed that circle of preg nudity. Time to move on now. (F-listed)

• Naked WWE Divas will have you putting a chokehold on . . . the steering wheel in heavy traffic! Hahaha, what did you think we were going to say? "Your penis"? Actually, that would have been good too. (Cityrag)

• Rob Lowe's former employees made whoopie in his bed! (The Blemish)

• Celebs without makeup! LOL! Har de har! Oh, look at Kate Bosworth! Everyone! It's Kate Bosworth without makeup! Let's all point and laugh, because she looks totally, uh, actually she still looks perfect. (Daily Stab)

• Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis to finally tie the knot. Hopefully she can get on his dental plan now. (PopCrunch)

• Move over, crabs in Paris Hilton's pubes! Hilary Duff has a scorpion in her pants! Beat that! (Evil Beet)

• Is Maria Sharapova lobbing it into Camilla Belle? Oh, the intrigue! (Fatback)

• Toni Braxton is in the hospital. Unbreak her busted heart sac. (Allie Is Wired)

• Naomi Campbell got banned. Banned like 2 Live Crew. Banned like slap bracelets in 1994. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Pam Anderson's marriage to Rick Salomon has been annulled. In the eyes of the law, that means it never happened. Let us never speak of this again. (Hollywire)

• MrSkin.com scores the first ever interview with Christian Landers, the dude behind the high-larious StuffWhitePeopleLike.com! (Mr. Skin)

• Madonna claims that her marriage is ripe with "erotica". Excellent way to work your song title in there, Madge. Was your wedding La Isla Bonita? (Female Foist)

• Kate Moss sans the clammy, crackulous influence of Pete Doherty = foxy. (Cityrag)

• Awwww. Carmen Electra has found herself another funny little eyeliner-wearing alternarocker to love. (Daily Stab)

• Sophie Monk's religious last name belies the deep cleave of her camel toe. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Renee Zellweger attended a screening of Leatherheads donning a leathered face. Sorry, Renee. You seem like a nice lady, you just make it so easy. (Allie Is Wired)

• Sorry, boys! Looks like that hot slice of preggo jailbait Jamie Lynn Spears is off the market! (The Blemish)

• I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, he's a Pepper, Axl Rose is a Pepper. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

Step right up, kids, cause have we got a treat for you. Yesiree, you’re going to be cheering like a seven-year-old on a rollercoaster, uh-huh. You’ll love it. Absolutely love it. We’ve got a nipple slip, one of the rarest birds in the forest. Bet you’ve never seen one of those before. And this one is from Sophie Monk. She’s the, uh, highest caliber of A-list celebrity, right? OK, you caught us. We’ve got a nipple slip--a highly suspect and questionable one at that--from a British girl you’ve never heard of. But, hey, what can you do? You can’t count on Lindsay Lohan forgetting her panties every day of the week. more »