CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: sex

November 26, 2008

Natalie Portman Says: "No Sex? No Thanks."

dog-pees-on-natalie-portman.jpg Hey all you nuns out there (what, didn't you know, nuns love CelebNewsWire), Natalie Portman just doesn't understand you. Why don't you get over yourselves and fuck somebody already? What's the deal? It's not like you're going to go to Hell for a little porking, right? Am I right? Oh, wait, I'm wrong. They will go to Hell. Somebody better tell that to Natalie Portman. Page Six dishes this story about Natalie's confusion over the whole concept of celibacy:
SOME roles just don't suit Natalie Portman. At the junket for the film version of his "Doubt," playwright John Patrick Shanley was asked how Amy Adams won the role of an emotionally conflicted nun. "I'm trying to think of what the etiquette is on this," Shanley chuckled, blushing a bit. Urged on by a blogger for gossipsauce.com, he continued, "Well, we asked Natalie Portman, and Natalie was very interested but kept saying she had a problem. And we finally nailed down as to what the problem was. She basically said she didn't understand celibacy."
We were totally on board with Natalie's sentiments at first. We mean, geesh, nuns—what a bunch of prudes. But then we stumbled upon this photo and it was all clear. Nuns don't need orgasms to have a good time, they've got the ocean! Wheeee!

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more »
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October 20, 2008

"Like Cuddling up to a Piece of Gristle"

Madonna_ropy_muscles_gristle.jpg Lately we've noticed a pattern with Madonna. We won't hear much out of her for a few months, she'll be busy palling it up with JT in the studio or touring or otherwise completing tasks that might be considered work. And then for about two weeks there will be about ten stories a day about her. Divorce, no divorce, affair with A-Rod, Kabbalah cheerleader, feud with brother, sham feud with brother, kissing random girls onstage because she's edgy and dangerous, something about Sandra Bernhard or Jose Conseco. It's just too much. We can't keep up. We kind of even miss proper British lady Madonna, who would show up in magazine spreads all decked out in tweed showing off her horses and her castle and talking about her inspirational children's books. Instead it's sex, sex, sex, and who wants to hear about that? At this point, imagining Madonna having sex is sort of like watching your five-foot-two-and-built gym teacher demonstrate putting a condom on a banana. Not exactly erotic. So it's probably good news that Madonna and Guy Ritchie haven't seen each other's pee-pees in over a year. Reports our own condom-application demonstrator, FemaleFirst:
Madonna and Guy Ritchie didn't have sex for 18 months as their marriage crumbled.

The couple - who announced last week they were separating, ending months of rumours - reportedly didn't get close beneath the sheets because the 'Hung Up' singer was too tired for love due to her gruelling daily 4-hour workouts.

A friend close to the pair said: "Guy got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day exercising. When she did eventually get home she'd be too tired to make love.

"When the cracks first started to show, Guy would plead with her to spend more time with him but she wouldn't. She'd insist she did her four-hour workout. They've been apart so much in the last two years that their opportunities to make love would have been fairly limited. They've also been in separate rooms a lot after big rows so there wasn't any chance to make up."

It has also been claimed that Guy, 40, found 50-year-old Madonna's super-toned body a turn-off, and yearned for the soft, womanly curves she had when they first fell in love after meeting in 1999.

The 'RocknRolla' director is reported to have confided in a friend he was finding his superstar star spouse less attractive the more fitness obsessed she became.

The pal told Britain's News of the World newspaper: "After a few drinks one evening, Guy said it was like cuddling up to a piece of gristle. All the soft feminine tones had been replaced by the build of an athlete."
Guy might like a nice marble of fat, but it seems that Alex Rodriguez likes the challenge of stringy, chewy meat. Apparently A-Rod and Madge are still hitting it, and she wants him to put a fetus in her half-century-old uterus. According to the Daily Mail:
Madonna, 50, is hoping she can have a natural child with Rodriguez, despite her age.

The singer is planning her future with the American baseball player, it emerged last night.

There is no suggestion that Madonna has to date had a physical relationship with Rodriguez.

However, a friend said: 'She thinks he's physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her.'
Yeah, we don't believe this story AT ALL. What's more likely is that Madonna will see A-Rod's kids, stick her special "I claim this child in the name of Madonna" flag in them, and make them start calling her Mommy. Pregnancy is just too time consuming. more »
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September 18, 2008

Aubrey O'Day Licks Pole, Talks Anal Sex

aubrey_o'day_complex_licks_stripper_pole_breasts.jpg In our minds, Danity Kane is one giant step below The Pussycat Dolls. And The Pussycat Dolls are one giant step below the tranny contestant on America's Next Top Model. What's one giant step below Danity Kane? Don't know. Maybe She-Daisy? Paris Hilton's dog walker? Anyway, Danity Kane is pretty low on our celebrity list. But still when one of them starts talking about masturbating to anal sex videos, we guess that's worth paying attention to. Especially when there are accompanying pics of her licking a stripper pole. So if you like marginally famous people talking about porn and doing it in the butt, here's an excerpt from Aubrey O'Day's recent interview with Complex:
So when people hear you’re best friends with Jenna Jameson, they think—
Aubrey O’Day: —I’m going to do sex tapes and porn. Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period.

You seem to like to talk about sex.
Aubrey O’Day: I love porn.

You love watching it?
Aubrey O’Day: Totally. I watch YouPorn.

Do you have a favorite star?
Aubrey O’Day: Jenna Jameson, obviously.

Is it weird watching your BFF?
Aubrey O’Day: I watched her before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, “Oh no!” I had to turn it off. It was horrible. [Ed.—Jenna famously only lets men in the front door, so we’re guessing Aubrey’s a little confused about the title. Up and Cummers #11, maybe?]

Guys are always curious about girls and porn.
Aubrey O’Day: I usually watch black guys doing white girls, that’s my little fetish, even though in real life race isn’t a factor for me. Really, I’m more turned on by watching the girls than the guys. I love someone who looks like they’re really into sex.

All this porn talk raises the question: Would you ever be in one?
Aubrey O’Day: I wouldn’t. I’d like to keep my sex life personal. I’ve had sex on camera with my boyfriend for fun, though.

Damn, you know those things can leak, right?
Aubrey O’Day: I’ve made all of them delete it right after we watched it.

That’s what you think.
Aubrey O’Day: No, I’ve watched them delete it. But let me tell you the key to that. If you do a live feed through the TV, you can watch it on the TV while you’re doing it and it never records.
So there you have it, straight from the mouth of that one chick from that band that Diddy made. Live feeds. It's like making a sex tape, but without all of the Paris Hilton-style fame and Vivid Video payoffs.

aubrey_o'day_complex_breasts.jpg aubrey_o'day_complex_stripper_pole_breasts.jpg
Find a ton more pics and the full interview at Complex.
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September 16, 2008

Megan Fox Dates Strippers, Cups Ball Sacks

megan_fox_gq_bikini_sucks_cherry.jpg Sometimes we put on our horn-rimmed glasses, sharpen our best number two pencil, and wrack our brain as if we were trying to solve an impossible calc equation. The topic? Why people love Megan Fox so much. Sure, she's hot, but is that enough? Enough to cancel out the terrible, terrible tattoos and the David Silver jizz stains? Our answer is usually no, but today things have become very clear. Today we finally understand the whole Megan Fox thing. Because she did a little interview with GQ magazine where she talked about boatloads of sexy stuff, and we said, "Ah, that's it! That's why people love Megan Fox!" First up, that whole Megan-grabbing-BAG's-nutsack thing? She was just horsing around. There was no ejaculation or anything. No big deal. Quotes Dlisted:
I don’t understand why they’re so scandalous. When they first came out, it was like, Megan Fox was giving Brian a blow job in pub—I mean, uh—a hand job in public. First: Who gives hand jobs? Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me. And who does it at a café on a public street? I touch him all the time. It’s just like, if you have a girlfriend, you grab her butt or whatever. That’s all it was, but it became a big deal. I don’t know why. For me, touching Brian’s dick for two seconds—that’s not part of our sex life. That’s me playing around; you know, you just cup it a little. For a few seconds.
But if she had jerked off BAG under the table, girl would be talking about it, as she has vowed that she will always be honest about her nasty nookie habits, saying:
Sex is something that everyone does, so why can't I talk about it?
You know what else she's honest about? Snogging girls. Hot Russian stripper girls, one of whom she dated when she was 18.
Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided - oh man, sorry, mommy! - that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop.

I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.

Look, I'm not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl - Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She's mesmerising. And lately I've been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but ... oh boy.
OK, OK, OK. You win, Megan Fox. You are goddamn super-duper groin-crunchingly hot. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? To make us waste days upon days imagining you and Olivia Wilde engaged in hot, sweaty lesbian sex? Because we're willing to do that if it will make you happy. We just love you that much.

megan_fox_gq_bikini_dripping_wet.jpg megan_fox_gq_bikini_ice_cube.jpg

Find the complete set of Megan Fox's bikini-clad GQ spread at Egotastic!

more »
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September 04, 2008

Britney Spears: VMA Appearer, Teen Sex Haver

britney_spears_bubble_gum.jpg It's now time to check in on the non-bikini-ensconced life of one Ms. Britney Jean Spears. Where will life find her today? Doing laundry and changing diapers like any typical mother of two toddlers? Probably not. Planning her 1,278th comeback? Now you're talking. Our girl will once again be opening the MTV Video Music Awards, airing this Sunday. Brit said in a statement:
MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs? I'm excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated.
And according to TMZ, Brit won't sing or dance at the awards, but that's not so shocking. She didn't actually sing or dance during her performance last year either, so maybe Spears will end up hitting the stage. Semantics. We're sort of hoping that Brit will appear onstage in a straight jacket, her polyester hair all wild and disheveled. That, or she should come out in manpris and cornrows as a tribute to early Kevin Federline and the beginning of her own decline.

And speaking of men who have visited Brit's clam chute, her mommy claims Britney was humping like mad at fourteen. According to our gossip baby mama, FemaleFirst:
Britney Spears had sex at 14 and started taking drugs aged 15, according to her mother.

Lynne Spears' shocking revelations also include claims Britney began drinking at 13 and was introduced to drugs when she went to Los Angeles to record her first hit.

The 'Toxic' singer was even allegedly caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet when she was just 16.

Dispelling claims Britney lost her virginity to her former pop star boyfriend Justin Timberlake, Lynne says in her book 'Through the Storm' her daughter first had sex with an 18-year-old American football player while she attended her local high school in Kentwood, Louisiana, for a year before becoming a teen pop star.

Lynne admits she allowed Britney, aged 16, to sleep with Justin.

A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her."
Does Lynne expect us to be shocked that she has a room in her house equipped with a deluxe king-size pillowtop and lots and lots of lube with a sign on the door that says "Teen Sex Room"? Cause we are. Shocked. Outraged. Appalled. But most of all just wishing that we could go back in time and implant our little fetal self in Lynne Spears's womb. Sure, the genetic crazy would be tough, but that teen sex room sounds awesome. Way better than the Panasonic and Barcalounger room of our teen years. more »
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August 29, 2008

David Duchovny Has Too Much Sex

david_duchovny_magic.jpg So maybe you've heard: Fox Mulder likes to fuck. Like, a lot. And apparently this is a bad thing that he has to go away to cure. Where exactly is the too much fucking line drawn? If you'd rather schtup than eat pie, is that a problem? What if you've been wearing the same pair of Fruit of the Looms for eight days straight and while you're throwing together a load of laundry you yell, "I can't do this! I've gotta stick my wiener in something"? David Duchovny has completed a highly successful movie and TV series in the past year or so, so he obviously takes time out of his humping schedule to get some work done. We're confused. Maybe People can explain:
David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, his lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein, tells PEOPLE exclusively.

"I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction," the actor says in an exclusive statement. "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."

Duchovny, 48, has been married to actress Téa Leoni since 1997. They have two children, daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6.
At first we thought that this might be a ploy to promote the upcoming season of Californication. Hank Moody does like the porking. Fornication is even in the title. But as the season premiere is still about a month off, the timing just doesn't seem quite right. So we're just stumped. Too much sex. Huh. Wonder what that's like.
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August 21, 2008

Ron Weasley, Always One Step Behind Harry Potter, To Get Naked in 2009

rupert_grint_ron_weasley_halloween_vampire.jpg Those Harry Potter kids. Everyone says, "Oh, they're so grounded. They don't blow their money on coke and hookers and $500 flannel shirts like those frivolous Hollywood types. They're so sensible." But between Hermione flashing her golden snitch the moment she turned eighteen to Harry porking a horse onstage, they have their own way of rebelling. And now part-time Good Humor man Ron Weasley (a.k.a. Rupert Grint) is jumping on the naked Harry Potter hippogriff wagon and doing the nasty onscreen. Reports PR Inside:
Steamy new sex scene for our Ron Weasley has been filmed for his new movie hitting theaters January 2009.

Looking to move on from Harry Potter, British actor Rupert Grint (best known for playing Ron Weasley) has stepped into a very challenging role in new indie film "Cherry Bomb".

Having filmed a sex scene with fellow co-star Kimberley Nixon, actor Rupert Grint is expected to shock audiences with his new role.
We can just imagine Rupert on set, trying to remember being back in Charms class. "How does the swelling charm go again? Injorgio? Engigolo? OH! Engorgio! Engorgio! Engorgio!"
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August 13, 2008

Diddy Could Rub Clitty All Day

diddy_dance_hump_grind_big_butt.jpg Puff Poopy Diddly Iddly Doo-dad Diddy thinks he's really awesome at sex. So awesome that he could win a gold medal if it were an Olympic sport. Sure. You willing to back that up with a sex tape, buddy? Cause we're sure that would sell millions. When New York magazine (a.k.a. the place that finally brought out Lindsay Lohan's watermelons) asked the puffed one what new Olympic sport we would excel in, he replied:
Who could have sex the longest. I think that's an event I can do well in. And probably who could stay up the longest. Just so you know, that's supposed to be funny. Even though I am serious.
So what you're saying there Didman is that you're proud of the fact that it takes you hours to finally squirt? And the women in your life, are they happy with this situation? Or is it your practice to leave a copy of War and Peace on the bedside table to keep them occupied while you're slowly, slowly climbing that mountain toward ejaculation?
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June 16, 2008

Angelina Jolie: She'll Cut You! She'll Cut You Good!

angelina jolie knife apple.jpg Though she may be full to the brim with pretty, pretty babies at the moment, Angelina Jolie wants you to remember that she used to be some sort of wild reckless goth chick. You know, before she was a super sexy cross between Mother Teresa and Mia Farrow. She was so cutting-edge (har har), in fact, that she had a super nifty knife collection when she was fourteen that she used to cut things into her boyfriend. Things like "Roxette Rules!" we're guessing. Whether or not Ang had a nice gathering of dragon figurines to keep her knife collection company is still under speculation. According to our own personal Dungeon Master, FemaleFirst:
Angelina Jolie has revealed she is scarred after "experimenting" with knives with an ex-boyfriend in bed.

The actress - who is currently expecting twins with partner Brad Pitt - says the incident, which caused scarring on her abdomen and thigh, happened when she was 14 and "curious about vampires"

She said: "When I was 14, I collected knives. My first boyfriend and I ended up getting into some fighting in bed and being silly. People think that happens every time I go to bed.

"It was actually something he never wanted to do again. It was a mistake and we really hurt ourselves. It was just being young, you know, when you're curious about vampires and that kind of thing. Just experimenting. It was an accident and I ended up in the hospital."
We're fairly certain that Angie has left the knifeplay in the past, as Brad Pitt would probably emit a high-pitched scream and bury his head under a couple of pillows if he saw Angelina coming at him with a knife in bed.

And in case you still need proof that Angelina is a kick-ass sexy broad, IMDb dishes:
Scottish actor James McAvoy let Hollywood beauty Angelina Jolie take "control" when they filmed an on-screen kiss for new movie Wanted.

The Atonement star admits he was worried about locking lips with the gorgeous actress, but Jolie helped put him at ease by taking charge of the situation.

He says, "I was nervous but after five minutes I thought this is going to be all right, it's cool. She was in very good shape.

"It could be anybody when you're kissing someone on film, you have to make it look good. She's pretty much in control of the situation."
What did you expect her to be like? She's not exactly the type to lie back and say, "Yeah, whatever you want to do is fine with me, as long as you're finished by the time Letterman's monologue starts." more »
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June 12, 2008

Fetuses Make Brangelina Horny

angelina_jolie_preggo_brad_red_carpet.jpgMost married couples' sex lives suffer--or, at the very least, slide a bit--after they become parents. Exhaustion, irritability, and a constant stream of Wiggles music in the background aren't really conducive to making whoopee. This is true for nearly everyone, except, of course, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Yes, even amongst a pile of diapers laden with kiddie-stools and Pax and Maddox punching each other, these two still have a healthy urge to join groins passionately. In an interview for the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, Angelina extols the virtues of pregnancy sex:
"It's great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you're just so round and full."
For real. Nothing gets the old creative juices (and sexy juices!) flowing quite like wondering if that stuff is semen or mucus plug, or figuring out ways to steer your wiener around giant, pendulous hemorrhoids. Pregnancy is the new DP! more »
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June 06, 2008

Kate Beckinsale Trumpets Her Vaginal Excellence

kate beckinsale agape.jpg Kate Beckinsale wants you to know that she has a spectacular poon chute. Only thing is, she's too much of a lady to really go into detail, and there aren't really enough men out there who have experienced its supposedly other-worldly beauty to give us the scoop. Becks claims:
"My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I'm told it is spectacular. But you can't really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?"
But she wants to make sure that only the most adept spelunkers can explore its depths, explaining:
"I was called a slut when I split up with Michael and began seeing Len, but I've only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!"
But this all makes us wonder: What exactly is so special about Kate's womb gate? Does she spend hours upon hours grooming it, giving it honey-oatmeal-avocado facials, applying bronzer? Yeah, probably, cause she's not spending that time perfecting Ina Garten's roasted chicken.
“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.”
In our experience, even a great cook needs to ring up Domino's every once in a while. Does Kate ever come home exhausted and say, "Honey, I don't feel like schtuping tonight; just order some take out." Is there a list of numbers on the refrigerator: Chinese, sushi, Thai, pizza, hookers? more »
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May 28, 2008

Amanda Peet Likes the Baloney Pony Slip 'n' Slide

amanda peet feathers.jpg Some women might be content with softcore clichés providing the variety in their sex lives (we're looking at you, Jennifer Aniston), but not Amanda Peet. She likes it wet. And slippery. And potent with that Irish Spring scent. According to Page Six:
AMANDA Peet doesn't need a bed for sex. "My husband and I were recently watching an episode of 'Seinfeld' where Elaine says, 'You can't have sex in a bathtub, that's impossible,' " the wife of screenwriter David Benioff tells next month's In Style. "And we just looked at each other. No, it isn't impossible. It's sort of slippery, yes. But fun." Peet, who's in the upcoming flick "The X-Files: I Want to Believe," adds: "David used to have an outdoor stereo by the pool at his bachelor pad . . . I'm sure he lured many women there, but I was the last one."
We think that Amanda's husband may have a bit of a water fetish going on. But the question is, does that fetish extend to all things wet? Is it really David Benioff peeing on the girl in that R. Kelly sex tape, with R.'s head superimposed through the magic of CGI? To the courthouse! We're about to set R. Kelly free! more »
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May 27, 2008

Jennifer Aniston Must Have Had Really Boring Sex Before John Mayer

Jennifer aniston pokies john mayer.jpg It turns out that there's a bit more behind Jennifer Aniston's new perma-smile than John Mayer's supersized salami. John's learned a few sexual tricks from Shannon Tweed movies. Star reports:
New couple Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are making some beautiful music together — in the bedroom!

In the new issue of Star, we report on the couple's superhot sex life that has left Jen floating on cloud nine for the last couple weeks.

"She is having the best sex of her life with John," a source close to the actress tells Star, "and she's loving every minute of it."

So just what does John do to make Jen think her body is a... wonderland?

According to the source, the singer covers her with whipped cream, which he licks off, tickles her with feathers and uses ice cubes to give her goosebumps.

"John also likes to keep things interesting with games like role playing, which is new for Jen," says the source. "She was a little resistant at first, but now you couldn't wipe the smile off her face if you tried."

Another source who has slept with John agrees he knows how to have a good time between the sheets. "He was kinky and liked trying crazy positions. He loved sex and wanted it all the time."
Let us guess, Jen plays the naughty nurse, the innocent schoolgirl, or the helpless woman stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire. Truly ground-breaking stuff for any thirteen-year-old boy who's just discovered how to unscramble Skinemax. We're actually quite disappointed in John's lack of originality. He continually surprises us when he shows up in the daily gossip--mostly by not being the white-hatted d-bag we assumed he was and actually having a personality. So we expect a bit more from John. Like Jessica Simpson and Brad Pitt masks made out of Us Weekly covers. That hate sex would be phenomenal. more »
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May 21, 2008

Cammy D Thinks Sex Is Pretty Neat

cameron diaz eats.jpg That Cameron Diaz, she's on the cutting edge. She's always saying stuff that just blows our mind, like, "Grass is green," "Kittens are cute," and "Sex is the best." Seriously, who does this girl think she is? It's going to take a lot more than a pretty face to make us question our core beliefs of grass is purple, kittens are hideous, and sex is torture. Maybe if Cameron were to tell us these things in person, while demonstrating just what makes sex the best, maybe that would convince us. People reports:
Nearly 18 months after her break-up with Justin Timberlake after they were together four years, Cameron Diaz is loving her view of the dating scene.

"Men are the best!" the What Happens in Vegas star, 35, tells InStyle for its June issue. "Sex is the best!"

And when it comes to seducing her men, Diaz says she prefers an outfit that accentuates her natural resources: a pair of heels and nothing else.

"You don't walk around naked?" she asks innocently.

Despite the April death of her father Emilio (the interview apparently took place before the sad event), Diaz – who once professed to thinking she'd be married and a mom by the time she was 22 – terms this a "good year," adding, "Yeah, I'm happy."

As for the prospective Mr. Right, "You don't want the men who want the 25-year-olds," she says with a laugh. "People think if you're single, you are incomplete. No. The thing is, I don't want to be in a relationship that makes me incomplete."
So Cameron really likes sex. You hear that, Justin? We bet Jessica Biel has never made such a bold statement. No, she's probably the "Hurry up, I've gotta walk the dog" type. more »
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Jennifer Aniston Cures Heartbreak with Gigantic Trouser Torpedo

jennifer aniston smart water bottle.jpg How do you cope when your handsome movie-star husband leaves you for the world's most desirable woman and immediately starts collecting babies and vowing to save the entire world with his lone, muscular hand? Certainly not by shacking up with a schlubby co-star suffering from a constant case of beer bloat. No, the only thing that cure those ills is a big, huge dong. It'll knock the heartache right outta you. The New York Daily News reported recently:
You wouldn't expect Jennifer Aniston to be giddy like a schoolgirl these days. Not with the news that ex Brad Pitt and his baby-machine girlfriend Angelina Jolie are pumping out twins in a couple of weeks. But the former "Friend" has been glowing of late, pals of the actress tell us.

"She's just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character," said one spy.

The reason can't just be that she is dating John Mayer. No one is that happy with Jessica Simpson's sloppy seconds. What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The crooner's ex-paramours reveal he is hell to get over, not because he's a great guy, but because he's a "great" guy, if you know what we mean.

"His body actually is a wonderland," one ex was overheard saying.
And today Showbiz Spy brings us this tale:
Jennifer Aniston has told friends John Mayer is a better lover than her ex-husband Brad Pitt.

The former ‘Friends’ actress, 39, is reportedly more impressed by her sex life with Mayer than with previous partners Vince Vaughn and Brad Pitt.

A source told the National Enquirer, “Jennifer is calling John the best ever lover.

“In fact, she can’t stop raving about his skills between the sheets - insisting the sex with him is way better than it was with Brad during their four-and-a-half-year marriage.”

Jennifer’s romance with the ‘No Such Thing’ hitmaker is said to be helping her finally get over her 2005 divorce from Pitt.

“Only now, in John’s arms, does she look even close to finally putting Pitt in the past tense,” added the source.
Girl, that's weak. Sure, getting regular servicing by a Diggler dick will put a smile on your face, but the only way to truly get over her past loves is for Jen to go on Access Hollywood and proclaim that Vince Vaughn has the permanent stench of ball sweat and that Brad Pitt has a Q-tip wang. Everyone knows that Angelina has the dick in that relationship anyway. more »
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