CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.
The Hollywood poop.
filed under: see-through shots
August 21, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Ricky Martin is a Leather Daddy
Prison Break's Jodi Lyn O'Keefe breaks out of the prison that is her dress. Well, kinda. It's see-through. (Fatback) What's the first nude scene you ever seen? (Mr. Skin)
Ricky Martin becomes the father of twins without the pesky intervention of one of those yucky whaddayacallems. Vaginas. (Yeeeah!)
Courtenay Semel, ex of Lindsay Lohan and current poon pal of Tila Tequila, got arrested. But isn't it funny that a gay lady's last name is one letter away from "semen"? (The Blemish)
A loving, moving tribute to the French maid uniform. (Holy Taco)
Janet Jackson is designing a lingerie line. Each bra comes with a Justin Timberlake to facilitate breast release. (Derek Hail)
Paris Hilton brings her cha-cha cheese to England in hopes of finding a friend. (CelebWarship)
Jennifer Aniston is one step away from OK Cupid and J-Date. (IDLYITW)
Penis is kryptonite to Britney Spears's hotness. (Hollywire)
comments (0)
send to a friend
August 14, 2008
We Can See Right Through You, Eva Longoria
We know our readers. If our comments are to be believed, they all live in, we're guessing, India, have a minimal grasp on the English language, and love "soxy woman," "bobbs," and "neeples." We are here to serve you, oh semi-literate foreign lover of flesh. So we know that you do not want to hear about Eva Longoria "desperately" trying to have a baby (ho ho, US, you do possess the wit, don't you?). No, you want to see a picture of Eva Longoria's dark nipple desperately trying to free itself from a light-colored sheer dress. You are the master, and we are here to serve. more »
July 31, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Slip n' Slide
Marisa Miller works the runway wearing the latest in swimwear and silicone/polymer based body oil. (F-listed) Ali Lohan auditions for the director of Bun Sisters 12. (Yeeeah!)
Rihanna is easy, breezy, beautiful, unCovered Girl. In a see-through shirt. That shows nipple ring. (The Blemish)
Madonna is one step away from having Waylon Flowers's hand up her ass. (Cityrag)
A touching, moving photo montage of Kristen Bell in her pantaloons. (Holy Taco)
You can't beat Jessica Simpson! No, seriously. Don't beat her; that's mean. (Daily Stab)
Superbad's Emma Stone is supercute. (Fatback)
Amanda Bynes is Nickelodeyummy in butt-stranglingly tight workout gear. (Drunken Stepfather)
John Mayer will be the godfather of the SimpsWentz spawn. He will teach it to land hot chicks and make the most heinous guitar faces ever. (Allie Is Wired)
July 10, 2008
Hell, Boy, It's Selma Blair's 2
If our disgruntled uncle Amos is to be believed, California is full of fruits and nuts and New York City is full of bohemian weirdos. And it appears that one of those bohemian weirdos is actress/pixie Selma Blair, who donned a sheer shirt to wander around New York yesterday. And in addition to being a bohemian, she is some sort of voodoo queen or possibly an alchemist because even though the top is completely see-through, the two seams that run across the front almost completely cover her actual nipples, no matter which way she turns and bends. Come into our cut and ponder Selma's boobular black magic. You'll scratch your head. And jiggle your nuts.more »
June 19, 2008
Ring-hanna
Rihanna's got a reputation as a good girl--a teetotaling sweetheart teen who eschews Hollywood excess in favor of ice cream socials and lime rickeys with that nice Chris Brown boy. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to see pictures of Rihanna in a see-through shirt that highlights not only her bralessness, but a nipple ring. You know what type of folks have nipple rings, right? That's right. Gay men. And aging goths who have taken 9 to 5 jobs and keep one nipply link to their Bauhaus-laden real lives hidden under their suits. Though that doesn't explain why she's wearing a parachute on the red carpet. Maybe the nipple ring is actually a ripcord. 
June 18, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: An Emmy's Just Like a Razzie, Right?
Lindsay Lohan has pulled a Heigl and withdrawn her name from the Emmy race. To which the Emmy panel said, "OK. Sounds good. Who's Lindsay Lohan?" (Celebitchy) Mickey Rourke takes his new face out to ogle some gay stripper's grape-smugglers. (Yeeeah!)
Keanu Reeves is seeing China Chow. You're also seeing China Chow. Seeing her topless, that is. In related news, China Chow is not kibble for Chinese people that comes in a 15 lb bag. Who knew? (Taxi Driver)
Jennifer Lopez and Unfrozen Caveman Husband take their spawn out for some fresh air. (Faded Youth)
Forget danceoffs; Mel B is getting her revenge on Eddie Murphy with an album called Beverly Hills Cock. That sounds nice. (Daily Stab)
The many toups of Jeremy Piven. (Cityrag)
Nicole Richie gets her Mrs. Roper on. (Seriously OMG WTF?!)
Gisele Bundchen speaks highly of beau Tom Brady; says he "doesn't have a bad bone in his body." That's right, because his bad bone is in YOUR body. Swish! (CelebWarship)
Boil some water and get some clean sheets--Britney's on her way to Lousiana to be there for Jamie-Lynn's birthin'! Wait a minute, we're talking about Spearses. Boil some Diet Mountain Dew and get some dirty sheets! (The Hollywood Gossip)
Puffy Dangle Doobie Diddle waxes his nutbag. It is imperative that we know this. (The Blemish)
Kate Moss dons a tasteful, maternal see-through dress to take her daughter for a stroll. (Flisted)
Anne Hathaway is all, "there once was a man from Nantucket." (WENN)
June 13, 2008
Mischa Barton: Boots n' Boobs
It appears that when one's accessories become the crux of the outfit, as Mischa Barton's staggeringly hilarious boots, laden with swingy gewgaws, have, one must dispense of more necessary parts of the outfit. Like a bra. Like Sacajawea leading Lewis and Clark across the American West, Mischa leads us into unknown and unchartered land--sartorial hideousness. As Sacajawea ended up immortalized on a golden coin, so Mischa Barton's nipples too become immortalized in your masturbatory fantasies. Coin, spank bank, same thing.
May 02, 2008
Jessica Alba Provides Milky Nourishment for Your Eyes
Normally, we'd take any racy, suggestive, or nude pictures we cared to share and place them under a cut for the sake of discretion and our ongoing campaign to keep you all from getting fired. However, we're not going to bother when it comes to these shots of Jessica Alba wearing a semi-sheer dress over her cup-runneth-over pregnancy rack. Why not? Because. If your boss comes over to your desk and grouses about you looking at nipples during work time, you can just say that you are admiring the natural miracle of life blossoming before your very eyes. "There is nothing more beautiful than an expectant mother glowing while preparing to nourish her infant with nature's perfect food, created directly from her own body, do you not agree?" you'll ask your boss. And he or she will obviously have to agree and then give you a promotion and a raise so he/she doesn't seem like an insensitive philistine. In summary, looking at pictures of nipples at work will win you a corner office and mad influence. Soon to be a cassette series availabe via Fingerhut.
more »
April 29, 2008
Holey Shirt, Mischa!
Mischa Barton is known for several things. She's known for her terrible taste in men, her extremely pretty Breck girl hair, and her questionable sartorial taste. Mischa is currently in Sydney for the MTV Australia Awards and was snapped showing off the three things for which she is known (minus the gross guy part). It appears that at present, Mischa is taking her MTV duties seriously by taking fashion cues from the most popular music videos of the early to mid 1980s. Is that bra-baring shirt more reminiscent of the lady who crawls up the stairs in Ratt's "Round and Round" or Pat Benatar's toilet-paper skirt from "Love is a Battlefield"? You half expect her to bust out a shoulder-wiggling dance and throw a drink in the face of a guy with a gold tooth. We arrrrrre strong!
April 24, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: A Whole Bundch of Side Boob
Gisele gifts us with the side of her supermodel superbooble. (Drunken Stepfather) All hail the Poshycat Doll. (Daily Stab)
Kids, heed the sad tale of Naomi Campbell's hairline: weave abuse leads to baldness. (Yeeeah!)
Rihanna has a crotch that emits mystical hot pink beams! (Cityrag)
More Mischa Barton titty buttons from Closing the Ring. Now with video! (Egotastic!)
Julia Roberts stinks. (FemaleFirst)
Julianne Moore shows Moore of herself. Namely, nipples. (Fatback)
Billie Piper flashed a peck of freckled poppers. (Hollywood Tuna)
Amy Winehouse spends a night being dainty and demure. (CelebWarship)
Miley Cyrus in a typical MySpace picture pose. I.e., with exposed underwear. (Pop Crunch)
March 05, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Sweet Leaf
Jenna Jameson, looking Bratz-ier than ever. (F-listed) No, my first name ain't baby. It's Janet. Miss Rackson if you're see-through. (Hollywood Tuna)
Lindsay Lohan goes back to red, lays off the burnt umber fake bake, approaches former Mean Girls-era loveliness. (Allie Is Wired)
Keanu Reeves and Parker Posey. Two great stoners that stone great together. (Lainey Gossip)
Perhaps they should head over to the radio station to tear into a box of Scooby Snacks with Ashlee Simpson. (Yeeeah!)
Mental wounds not healing. Life's a bitter shame. Julia Roberts is going off the rails on a crazy train.(Cityrag)
Hayden Panettiere's mom is "very proud" that her teenage daughter is moving in with 31-year-old Milo Ventimiglia. Awwww. (FemaleFirst)
Cruz Beckham, spawn of David and Posh Spice, is a SUPERSTAR. (Bitten and Bound)
Kevin Federline's gut threatens to Popozao out of his golf shirt. (Hollywood Backwash)
To Paris Hilton, "foreign-looking man with long gray beard" = the path to spiritual enlightenment. (Hollywood Grind)
February 04, 2008
Halle Berry's B.A.P.s
So if it isn't enough that Halle Berry consistently tops every "Sexiest Prettiest Hottest Most Desirable and Attractive Comely Dame" poll and is widely assumed to be one of the most physically fortunate persons alive, she has to go and put on a shirt made of black spiderwebs or cheesecloth or something. Just to prove that in the ninth month of her pregnancy, when most women are cursing life and in hideous discomfort, she still looks better than most 22-year-old beachwear models. Even with that curious Oprah '07 coif. And for all of you miscreants crying into your keyboards because today's Sexy Lady Storyฎ is about a pregnant lady: hey, look at that belly button. It's like getting three nipples.(More pics at Drunken Stepfather) more »
January 31, 2008
Pompeo and Circumstits
Katie Holmes dons wide-leg pants and Barney's is sold out within the week. Katie Holmes cuts her hair into a newscaster bob, and thousands of women across this land of ours head to the Hair Cuttery and follow suit. Katie Holmes runs a marathon sweat-free and minus a bra, her Scientolotits swinging about like Stevie Wonder's head, and the rest of her peers ape her once again. Ellen Pompeo, of television's Grey's Anatomy, recently took an impromptu spin around the block in a tissue paper top, handful of keys, and your chubby 13-year-old brother's jeans. Get the look easily with the new corset top from Stella McCartney--one breast is lifted to the collarbone, while the other is crushed mercilessly down to the navel to simulate the natural running motion. Blood stains from brutalized nipples are this season's footless tights! Chafed is the new black! Looks great with your abortion pendant!
January 30, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: "Stinkin'. S-T-I-N-K-I-N."
Uma Uma Uma mow mow ma ma Uma mow mow. In a bikini. (Though, going by the cast on her arm, these may be old, mow mow) (Hollywood Tuna) Britney's still on the loose, and so are her breasts. (Taxi Driver)
Kate Hudson says that Matthew McConaughey smells like hot garbage. (Yeeeah!)
Sean Young's fun-loving, booze-guzzling ass heads to rehab. And the softcore thriller industry grinds to a screeching halt for 90 days. (IMDb)
J. Lo and Corpsey plan to name their twins after the costar of Doogie Howser, M.D. and the plus size hostess of various E! programs. (Daily Stab)
Diora Baird makes with the MySpace-style nudie shots. (Drunken Stepfather)
Nicole Richie plans on getting back down to fighting weight ASAP. Fighting weight being 83 lbs. (Celeb Parasite)
In the midst of a family intervention, Britney buys a new Mercedes. Because she can. Suck it, bitches! (GlossLip)
Amy Winehouse's mom is a regular ray of sunshine; talks headstones and caskets. (Holy Taco)
January 24, 2008
No Visitation Rights; No Bra
Last week, we didn't want to post any more Britney stories because they were too sad. Today, Heath Ledger stories are too sad, so we're lightening the mood with a little Britney. We are terrifically complex. Yesterday, Britney arrived at an L.A. courthouse for more super incredible deposition fun. However, what she didn't realize is that just showing up at the courthouse, then turning on your heel and leaving doesn't count. You actually have to talk to the funny man in the black robe with the wood hammer! What the hell! As a result: still no babies for you, Spears. Quoth the TMZ:
Britney Spears was shut down in her attempt to regain some sort of visitation. There are no changes. K-Fed has sole custody and no visitation for Brit for now.However, afterwards, she proved her mental stability by driving 100 mph on the wrong side of the road and then donned a see-through shirt sans bra in Petco, which she visited twice. The second time to pick up her new personal assistant, whom she left in the Kong aisle. And also, apparently, to tease all the poor dogs in the store with the mouth-watering Pupperoni she was smuggling under her top. Dogs don't know it's not real teat. Teat, meat, whatever.
Brit arrived at the courthouse and went through the metal detector, but then had a change of heart and didn't want to go inside the courtroom.
Sources told TMZ Brit wanted visitation restored in a "therapeutic setting" -- meaning under the treatment of medical professionals -- but that wasn't gonna happen, especially since she never showed to make a plea. The Court noted Brit's absence.
As we first reported, Brit has some sort of bipolar disorder. The Commish has repeatedly ordered her to get a medical evaluation, but she has refused to comply.
January 16, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Leg-Spreading and Fetus-Getting
Cleava Mendes. (Drunken Stepfather) "Dear Brad Renfro. We came over to fuck you but you were dead. Love, Tiffany and Amber." Rest in peace, Brad. (Fatback and Collards)
We want to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!", honestly we do, but we just can't when she keeps flipping us her outer labes. (Taxi Driver)
Jenna Jameson swears that she will "never spread her legs" for the porn industry again. She will spread Philadelphia's whipped strawberry cream cheese, though. It's the wonderfully spreadable, sweetly fruity topping with only 60 calories per serving! (IDLYITW)
Alessandra Ambrosio caught Pregnant, too. (The Blemish)
Zac Efron was rushed to the emergency room for an emergency highlighting. Those buttery chunks ain't gonna streak themselves. (Derek Hail)
Lumps on Halle Berry's torso: now there are three. (Daily Stab)
"Now that bulbs flashing more than ever/You can see under my dress, fellas. Ellas. Ellas. Ay. Ay." (Cityrag)
Jennifer Garner may have been the original target of Tom's Cruise missile of love. (Superficial)
December 28, 2007
CNW Holiday Junk Drawer: 'Tis the Season to Be Drunky
Please allow these links to tide you over until January 2, when we will be hangover-free and ready to devote ourselves to bringing you nipple slips and Tinseltown fetuses once again. Mischa Barton got arrested for DUI and drug possession. Way to be Scrooges, cops. (TMZ)
Fergie is engaged! To a man, even! Flossy, flossy. (A Socialite's Life)
Jessica Alba is also engaged. Awwww, now her baby won't be a bastard. Cute! (Derek Hail)
Robin Wright and Sean Penn are not engaged, however. In fact, they are getting a divorce. Perhaps she finally got a glimpse of him in the cold hard light of day. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
Et tu, Brendan Fraser and wife? Oh, Encino Man, why can't you and your onion field hair plugs make love last? (Celebitchy)
The sirer of Jamie Lynn Spears's unborn doohicky might not be Casey Aldridge. It might, instead, be Kevin Federline. Juuuuuust kidding, it's some old dude. (Yeeeah!)
Gaze upon these photos of Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini and be revived. And then note sadly that Michael Bolton is the master of that body, and shrivel, groaning in pain. (Drunken Stepfather)
Sharon Stone trots out those nips for a trip around the block. (Celeb Warship)
Lindsay Lohan might as well face it, she's addicted to dong. (Egotastic!)
Leelee Sobieski. TeeTee Boobichesti. (The Blemish)
November 28, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: The Rigors of Touring
Jennifer Love Hewitt is the new Kardashian. Bla-DOW! (The Blemish) Flash go the cameras, and out winks the Halle Berry cotton cheek-splitter. (Taxi Driver)
Brendan Fraser got his head replanted for the winter. (Cityrag)
Something something about the Hogans . . . something divorce, lawsuit something something-or-other? Oh, whatever. You'd never see the Iron Sheik in this embarrassing position. (Derek Hail)
Vintage Cindy Crawford--before the Pepsi commercial, before the Gere, back when Aaron Neville face goober was but a freckle on the horizon. (Drunken Stepfather)
Amy Winehouse has cancelled all her tour dates. Her doctor cites "the rigors involved in touring" and "emotional strain" as the reasons. Which sound like legitimate medical excuses, right up there with "the vapors" and "consumption" and "the grippe". (The Hollywood Gossip)
"Greetings and salutations. My eyebrows are on top of my skull." (Dlisted)
Eva Green is a gorgeous gothick angel sent from crazy Joan Collins style heaven and placed upon this earth to teach us all about beauty and love and eyeliner. (Lainey Gossip)
Face it--you're never going to touch Jessica Alba. So instead, set your sights on her slightly more attainable stunt double! (Daily Stab)
November 12, 2007
No Copperfield in Sight, Yet Claudia Schiffer's Bra Has Disappeared
Supermodel-turned-housewife Claudia Schiffer has been on our minds quite a bit lately, what with her ex-fiance, David Copperfield, being investigated for luring unsuspecting women to a tropical locale whereupon he honked them about the hooters and other unsavory doings. Did Claudia know about this? Had Copperfield ever employed this magic on her? Did she ever find herself exiled on Grope Island? Was their entire relationship a sham, Copperfield having employed his mind control hoodoo skills, forcing fair Claudia to sign away her innocence to the creepy magic man? These are the questions that weigh upon us at night. That, and wondering if she'll ever show us her nipples again. After the cut, one of those questions is answered. Guess which? more »
November 07, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: Matt n' Mandy, Sittin' in a Tree
Is our sweet angel Mandy Moore getting Binged? Oh Christ, NO! (Yeeeah!) Our favorite opiate connoisseur, Porky Petey Dough-erty, has returned to form. Now with video! (Drunken Stepfather)
And Pete's ex, Kate Moss, sports some really sharp needles of her own. (Taxi Driver)
Jerry O'Connell has hot wife; poor self-esteem. (The Blemish)
Famous nipples met flash, and a beautiful friendship was borned unto us. (Cityrag)
Leelee Sobieski is packin' mad mammage. (Daily Stab)
Jessica Simpson navigates metal grate in stilettos. Hilarity ensues. (Egotastic!)
Eva Mendes shills for Campari. Up next, CelebNewsWire promotes Alize and Blue Nun! (Derek Hail)
Rihanna and Josh Hartnett are doin' it: their babies will be large of forehead and beady of eye. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
Which is causing poor Shia the Beef to marinate himself in a nice vodka rub. (PopCrunch)
Rebecca De Mornay? No, Rebecca Dui Mornay. (TMZ)
October 30, 2007
Nicole Kidman Is Sheerly Lovely
So you haven't had a hit movie since, what?, The Hours, your marriage, while it is with a man of normal height who does not as far as we know worship aliens, is generally viewed as a tragic mess, your lips are beginning to implant themselves in Joan Rivers territory, and your new film is getting a bunch of Jesus lovers all uppity, which is never good for business. What do you do? Show off your panties! Way to go, Nicole Kidman. But while we're happy that Nic has sunk to this level or movie promotion, we're a bit confused. Yes, the dress is technically see-through. And, yes, we do see a bra there. But upon closer inspection this dress sure is on the chaste side, as far as see-through dresses are concerned. We're assuming she's wearing a thong, but we just can't see it. Nor can we see anything else. What we've got here is one big cock tease. She's saying, "Hey, sailors, look at me in this see-through dress. Aren't I sexy? Doesn't it make you want to see my new movie?" And you're thinking, "Yeah, maybe I will see that movie. She looks hot." But then as you're working up a boner you realize that all you really see is a bunch of lace. And if you wanted to get all hot over some lace, you'd open the doily drawer on your grandma's credenza. And speaking of your grandma and lace and doilies, take a look at Joan Collins. She's taking a different angle on the see-through thing, by pairing it with her sturdy Playtex 18-Hour Bra. And the weird thing is, in today's see-through battle, we're going to have to rule for Joan. She'd seduce you, marry you, and have all your assets transferred to her name before she'd even have to unhook that 18-Hour Bra, and Nicole would probably spend that whole time yelling at her assistant that she asked for pineapple-scented candles in her goddamn dressing room, not apple-scented candles.
more »
October 26, 2007
Albraless
Now this is a shot worth your attention. Your first instinct, we're sure, is to notice that Jessica Alba's shirt is completely see-through. Your heart swells, as do your reproductive parts, as Jessica Alba see-through shots are few and far between. Then you notice that she is wearing a brassiere, and you wither a bit, but not for long, as you note that said foundation garment is also sheer. Your erectile tissues fill with blood anew, until it become apparent that your worst fears are actually true. Jessica Alba has no nipples. Where are those things? You cannot make out pasties or patches or even latex paint. Sadly, your eyes then wander south and notice that she is wearing pants that would look at home on a Bratz doll, and you might as well stick a tombstone on your dingus because that thing is d-e-a-d dead. more »
CNW Junk Drawer: Biel 'Brella Bashes Like Britney
Now that it's raining more than ever/know that Biel still hates the paparazzi/You can get beat by her umba-rella/You get beat by her umba-rella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay. (Egotastic!) Britney Spears pretends she has narcolepsy, which is not an oozing venereal disease, like one might automatically assume. (Yeeeah!)
Katie "Jordan" Price gives a hot blow job!!! She'll really straighten you out! (Drunken Stepfather)
Work that butt chin, Jessica Simpson. (IDLYITW)
Now we know what Heidi Klum sees in Seal. (Pssst! It's his enormous penis!!!!) (Derek Hail)
Happy Halloween! Please stick your candle into Christina Ricci's pumpkins. She was Wednesday Addams, after all, so this is plenty relevant. (Cityrag)
Find out what happens when Dinas stop being orange and start gittin' REAL. (Fatback and Collards)
And speaking of questionable Lohans (are there any other kind?), Michael is dressed like it's twink night at the Wet Piston, wtf. (Celeb Warship)
Rwanda postponed its visit from Paris Hilton, presumably because it needed to reinforce its herpes levees. (Celebitchy)
Scarlett Johansson knows that nothing says "we're casually dating, I'm kind of into you" than forcing your boyfriend to don your body parts around his neck like a gilded noose. (The Blemish)
October 19, 2007
Thurman: See Hermams
Uma Thurman is presently dating Arpad Busson, who is some sort of businessman best known for impregnating Elle Macpherson twice. And it's obvious that this Mr. Busson has a type. Very tall, very blonde, very built, very toothy. Oh, and with a yen for fashion that leans toward "transparent". Were Arpad Busson to fill out a match.com profile, he would shun listing the usual interests--"long walks on the beach" and "working out" and "double penetration"--in favor of "tulle" and "chiffon" and "organza" and "cellophane". And "windows". OK, we're done. Check out Uma's CLEARly superior fashion sense after the cut. God, what a pun! What a pun! more »