filed under: Robin Wright Penn

We've just discovered the perfect excuse for every occasion: It's Sienna Miller's fault! Why did those puppies eat rat poison instead of kibble? It's Sienna Miller's fault! Why can't Hollywood writers and studios come to a compromise? It's Sienna Miller's fault! Why is there war, disease, famine, and tights worn as pants? It's Sienna Miller's fault! (That last one really is Sienna Miller's fault.) Hey, if it works for Sean Penn. Rush & Molloy report:

There's never a simple reason for a couple to part after 20 years. But if Sienna Miller didn't cause Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn to split up, some claim she may not have been a good influence.

A source recalls a party in a suite at a New York hotel where they both were staying.

"Sienna was sitting on Sean's lap," according the source. "She was dressed very sexily. She had her arm around his neck." That night, claims the source, they stayed up quite late.

One Penn friend maintains there was never anything romantic between them. "Sienna is like that with everyone," says the friend. "She's very physical. She drapes herself over people she likes. She doesn't mean a lot by it."

Miller's rep insists that suggestions that the actress, now dating Rhys Ifans, was ever more than friends with Penn are "outrageously untrue. Sienna is a very good friend of Robin. She adores and respects Robin."

Still, you wonder if the up-till-dawn scene might trouble a wife left home with two kids.

We're sure that when confronted by Robin, Sienna defended herself thusly: "What's the big deal, old lady? Not everyone likes to stay home and knit while watching PBS. Some of us like to party. And by party I mean rub my cooter all over your husband's leg and run my tongue down the side of his face while he watches strippers who are not nearly as hot as me. It's the friendly thing to do, and I'm a friendly girl."

Now is the time in Hollywood when we deny. Robin Wright Penn and Pamela Anderson have come forth to deny recent claims against them. Of charges that husband was caught double-dipping in Siberian soil, Wright Penn says:

"This is laughable; it didn't happen."

And of the pregnancy/divorce rumors, Pam scoffs:

"I wish him the best. It's a can of worms. Big, fat juicy worms, but worms . . . No more kids. No more kids."

So . . . by that, does she mean that she does not have half a Rick Salomon festering in her babymaker? Or does she mean that any and all future husbands will not engage in such juvenile behaviors as putting a night-vision ding dong into Paris Hilton or rapping onstage with a midget?

We thought that Sean Penn's idea of an extramarital good time would involve a malnourished African refugee reading him Nietzsche in a room constructed out of fully sustainable building materials. But it turns out he likes booze and Russian girls just like the rest of us. MSNBC reports:

Though Sean Penn and soon-to-be ex-wife Robin Wright remain tight-lipped about the events leading to their breakup, Star Magazine reveals the sordid details of their last weekend together.

It all started innocently enough, according to the magazine, with an intended romantic getaway in Lake Tahoe, Calif. The couple checked in to the Squaw Valley resort just days before Christmas, but sources said Sean didn’t request couple-friendly accommodations.

“Sean didn’t spend much time with his wife — he booked her a separate suite — and when Robin got fed up with being alone, she went over to his suite,” an insider revealed. There, she “found him drunk with two Russian girls!”

Allegedly the actor continued to party the night away, while Robin was nowhere to be seen. “When asked where his wife was, he answered, ‘Who cares?’”

You know who cares, Sean? The American people. The American people care. Think of all those Katrina victims who will lose their faith in love because of your reckless disregard for the bonds of matrimony. They've been through so much already, they don't need that. Brad Pitt would never do that to them.

Please allow these links to tide you over until January 2, when we will be hangover-free and ready to devote ourselves to bringing you nipple slips and Tinseltown fetuses once again.

• Mischa Barton got arrested for DUI and drug possession. Way to be Scrooges, cops. (TMZ)

• Fergie is engaged! To a man, even! Flossy, flossy. (A Socialite's Life)

• Jessica Alba is also engaged. Awwww, now her baby won't be a bastard. Cute! (Derek Hail)

• Robin Wright and Sean Penn are not engaged, however. In fact, they are getting a divorce. Perhaps she finally got a glimpse of him in the cold hard light of day. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Et tu, Brendan Fraser and wife? Oh, Encino Man, why can't you and your onion field hair plugs make love last? (Celebitchy)

• The sirer of Jamie Lynn Spears's unborn doohicky might not be Casey Aldridge. It might, instead, be Kevin Federline. Juuuuuust kidding, it's some old dude. (Yeeeah!)

• Gaze upon these photos of Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini and be revived. And then note sadly that Michael Bolton is the master of that body, and shrivel, groaning in pain. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Sharon Stone trots out those nips for a trip around the block. (Celeb Warship)

• Lindsay Lohan might as well face it, she's addicted to dong. (Egotastic!)

• Leelee Sobieski. TeeTee Boobichesti. (The Blemish)

As promised we're back with another report on who's taking off their tops in the Great White North at the 2006 Toronto Film Festival. And in this round a couple of career nudists have stepped up to the plate to help you score a home run--even if the only mitt there to catch you is your own hand. more »