filed under: Riley Giles

Mere days after assuring the greater Myspace community that his love for Lohan was as strong as Wu-Tang's second album come the rumors that Riley Giles has received the axe from his fiery crotched rehab love, for real this time. A source told E Online:

"It's over. She got tired of him pouting all the time . . . It was fine when they were in Utah, just the two of them," says the source. "But then they returned to L.A. and Lindsay was shooting a movie, photographers followed them everyone, she had meetings with this agent, that publicist, this director. His ego couldn't take it."

“[Lindsay's friends] thought he was unsophisticated and told her she should have left him in Utah with his snowboard. He never paid. Yeah, we know Lindsay is the rich and famous one, but come on. Be the man once in a while!”

Aw. Considering the fact that Lindsay's other major romances have involved a balding Brit who was on Celebrity Love Island, a guy who owned a restaurant named after vaginas, and Fez, the "unsophisticated" label is a touch unfair.

Things are getting serious between speckled, firecrotchian thespian Lindsay Lohan and her Federline Lite rehab romance, Riley Giles. She even took him home to Long Island for Thanksgiving! And Giles is not just a snowboarder and a possessor of countless Wu Tang shirts--he's a budding writer! In his prolific MySpace blog, Riley told the harrowing tale of holidays with the Lohans:

BLOGGER HOLMES,

Theres some rumors circulating of a breakup…. Maybe its not the first time im going to hear shit like this, it’s kind of amusing if you ask me. These “sources” are just bored, unemployed bloggers (shanna moakler) Samm, i want my fuckin raybans braah

Ny was a blAAst… I wished we could have stayed longer, minus me being forced to smile @ wOprah. what a whackjob!

REMEMBER KIDS, WEAR A CONDOM!

GILES

We're trying to decipher the subtext here. The dis of "w(hite) Oprah" was inspired, though we're not sure what Lindsay will think of her beloved calling her mother a "whackjob". Also, according to Yeeeah!, the Lohans spent their holiday in therapy, while Giles hit the town:

“The Lohan family [sister Ali, 13, mother Dina and father Michael] sat down for a therapy session in Manhattan together [on Thanksgiving],” said our source. Younger brother Dakota, 11, was allowed to skip the session.

Lindsay’s latest fling, fellow ‘habber Riley Giles, spent the holiday weekend partying in the city without his girlfriend. While [Lohan] spent Friday and Saturday shopping with her mom and sister, her new boyfriend slept late on Saturday, having partied the night before at Pink Elephant.

A rehabbed fellow sleeping late after a night at the club? Very curious. However, there's one thing we all agree on, and that's the fact that we're thankful for Lindsay's extremely plump butterballs of cleavage. We just want to take the Henckels to that and carve a gigantic slice out of that breast. How does she get all those flavorful juices to stay in there? She must've brined those things.

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When will stars of stage and screen learn? Wearing anything that isn't barnacle-clingy means that you are definitely pregnant, and wearing any sort of jewelry on or even near your left hand ring finger equals engagement. Professional substance-ingester/sometime thespian Lindsay Lohan is allegedly betrothed to snowboarder Rilo Kiley or whatever his name is. IMDb claims:

"Lindsay Lohan has sparked rumors her romance with snowboarder Riley Giles is deadly serious after stepping out with a subtle ring on her wedding finger. Lohan sported the sparkler as she hit the Hollywood party scene on Tuesday night in an all-black mini-dress and beret combo."

And here's the first sighting of Lindsay's new, uh, fiance in something other than a Wu Tang shirt:


It's nice to see that Riley and Lindsay have something in common in addition to a love of abuse of illegal substances. Because similar interests really are the glue that holds relationships together. Fine dining, Victorian literature, hot air balloon racing, falconry, standing hollow-eyed in front of a police photographer after you've been busted glugging 60 ounces of rum and getting behind the wheel of a Escalade . . . these are just a few of the things that make two young, yearning hearts join and beat as one.

After the cut, and in-depth comparison of Lindsay's vagina and a dirty stairwell. Which is more cavernous and filled with social diseases? Only one can emerge the victor! more »

You can take the girl out of Long Island, and so forth.