CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.
The Hollywood poop.
filed under: Rihanna
July 31, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Slip n' Slide
Marisa Miller works the runway wearing the latest in swimwear and silicone/polymer based body oil. (F-listed) Ali Lohan auditions for the director of Bun Sisters 12. (Yeeeah!)
Rihanna is easy, breezy, beautiful, unCovered Girl. In a see-through shirt. That shows nipple ring. (The Blemish)
Madonna is one step away from having Waylon Flowers's hand up her ass. (Cityrag)
A touching, moving photo montage of Kristen Bell in her pantaloons. (Holy Taco)
You can't beat Jessica Simpson! No, seriously. Don't beat her; that's mean. (Daily Stab)
Superbad's Emma Stone is supercute. (Fatback)
Amanda Bynes is Nickelodeyummy in butt-stranglingly tight workout gear. (Drunken Stepfather)
John Mayer will be the godfather of the SimpsWentz spawn. He will teach it to land hot chicks and make the most heinous guitar faces ever. (Allie Is Wired)
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July 11, 2008
Ri-Ri Won't Bust out Her Chi-Chis
And now that we've pumped up your boner with talk of naked Julianne Moore, we're going to give you a metaphorical kick in the nuts to deflate it. You will never, ever see Rihanna's rib cushions, not even in one of those lame "See Rihanna Topless" teases you see in FHM or some such. And all because her mama's a big ol' prude. According to The San Francisco Chronicle: R&B star Rihanna has vowed never to pose for a naked photo shoot, because her mother would "kill" her.There comes a time in every young girl's life when she has to say, "You know what, Mom? You're not the boss of me. I can do whatever I want to do!" For some girls this means smoking, for others it means dating a leathered biker named Hound Dog. Rihanna should consult these girls and learn to embrace her womanly independence. The only way you're going to stick it to mama and all her "rules" is to let those funbags fly, honey. more »
Although the singer has proved she isn't shy about shedding her clothes in the name of work - she appeared wearing just gold body paint for her 2007 "Umbrella" video - she refuses to strip off for a magazine.
She tells MTV.co.uk, "My mother would kill me if I posed nude!
"When I did that metallic body paint stuff for my "Umbrella" video, I didn't do it to show my body. I didn't do it for people to like me. I did it because it was a cool visual, unexpected, and it looked hot.
"I have done a lot of photo shoots for magazines but it's always great to be shot for a cover because you know that you are looked at as a fashion icon."
June 19, 2008
Ring-hanna
Rihanna's got a reputation as a good girl--a teetotaling sweetheart teen who eschews Hollywood excess in favor of ice cream socials and lime rickeys with that nice Chris Brown boy. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to see pictures of Rihanna in a see-through shirt that highlights not only her bralessness, but a nipple ring. You know what type of folks have nipple rings, right? That's right. Gay men. And aging goths who have taken 9 to 5 jobs and keep one nipply link to their Bauhaus-laden real lives hidden under their suits. Though that doesn't explain why she's wearing a parachute on the red carpet. Maybe the nipple ring is actually a ripcord. 
April 24, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: A Whole Bundch of Side Boob
Gisele gifts us with the side of her supermodel superbooble. (Drunken Stepfather) All hail the Poshycat Doll. (Daily Stab)
Kids, heed the sad tale of Naomi Campbell's hairline: weave abuse leads to baldness. (Yeeeah!)
Rihanna has a crotch that emits mystical hot pink beams! (Cityrag)
More Mischa Barton titty buttons from Closing the Ring. Now with video! (Egotastic!)
Julia Roberts stinks. (FemaleFirst)
Julianne Moore shows Moore of herself. Namely, nipples. (Fatback)
Billie Piper flashed a peck of freckled poppers. (Hollywood Tuna)
Amy Winehouse spends a night being dainty and demure. (CelebWarship)
Miley Cyrus in a typical MySpace picture pose. I.e., with exposed underwear. (Pop Crunch)
April 04, 2008
It's Not a Boo-Boo; It's Rihanna's Boob-Boob
As it turns out, that demi-moon of Rihanna areola we saw the other day was a true anomaly--she normally hides those things under a hearty layer or two of medical adhesives. She recently let InStyle magazine in on her #1 beauty secret:
"I love Band-Aids. They are great for shoe blisters, as nipple covers and also for nail mishaps - people just think you have a cut."Repeat vagina flashers have a lot to learn from the wit and wisdom of Rihanna. Just think of all the agony and embarrassment that could have been avoided had Britney Spears suited up with a few well-placed bandages over her clammola. They even have the advantage of giving you a free wax if you rip them off fast enough. "I'm like Rihanna, y'all! People will just think I have a cunt!" she'll say happily.
* CelebnewsWire Blog-Writing Tip #682: when your story lacks humor and entertainment, just turn it around and make a "Britney is a hillbilly!" joke. We recommend starting out by employing some sort of prop: Starbucks cup, cystic acne, Barbie weave, Frito Lay products. Then just let your imagination run wild! The sky's the limit! Eat your heart out, Copyblogger! more »
April 02, 2008
Kids Choose Rihanna's Nipple
When it comes to the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, you can count on one or more of the following events:1. Tweens screeching louder than America's Next Top Model contestant during Tyra Mail Time
2. Someone gets slimed
3. An errant butthole or nipple jumps out to steal the show
Although it's doubtful that anything will top Lindsay Lohan's storied full ass flash of yore, Rihanna's come forth with a fine 2008 offering of a sliver of nippage nosing its way out of her bustier. After the cut, more of Rihanna's Tom Cruise hair . . . and areola (which thankfully appears to be unCruisian in color and circumference). more »
February 11, 2008
Amy Winehouse Cleans Up, In Several Different Ways
So the Grammys happened last night. Rihanna performed with Morris Day and the Time, making us think that it was 1984 and we were listening to the 45 of "Jungle Love" on our Goofy record player. Also, Herbie Hancock won Album of the Year, making us think that it was 1982 and we were laughing, mouth full of Fruit Wrinkles, at his funny robot leg video before switching the channel to Shirt Tales. In addition, Amy Winehouse won a bunch of stuff, thanked "my Blake, incarcerated" like a straight thug boo should, and appeared lucid, charming, non-slurry, sober, and pretty with-it, making us think it was . . . what year was Amy Winehouse last sober? Let's see, she was born in 1983, made her first album in 2003, hm . . . da da da, carry the two, square root of . . . (frantically counting on fingers) . . . 1989? OK, so we just picked a completely arbitrary year, whatever, we just wanted a chance to revisit Skidz. And Michel'le.Egotastic! is teeming with Grammy red carpet pics, so have a look.
February 06, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: The P Word
Paris Hilton enjoys fishing. And fish enjoy the familiar, down-home smell of Paris Hilton's bacterial vaginosis. OK, that was pretty gross. Sorry, Paris. (FemaleFirst) And speaking of Paris's vagina, she will be rubbing hers up against the lesbian thespians of The L Word. (The Superficial)
The results are in: Heath Ledger's death was caused by "accidental overdose" of SIX different types of prescription drugs. (TMZ)
Godspeed to you, Patrick Swayze! May your gut convalesce so that you may arabesque again. (IMDb)
Cammy Diaz gots some pegs, boy, I tells ya. (Cityrag)
Larry Birkhead take$ Dannilynn to vi$it her mother'$ grave$ite. (Celebitchy)
Bike shorts and what appears to be a Lamborghini Countache: no, it's not 1987; it's the new Bebe ads featuring Eva Longoria! (PopCrunch)
Bar Rafaeli: professional wearer of lingerie, schtupper of DiCaprio, sporter of labia-splitting bikini camel toe. (Derek Hail)
J. Lo is definitely having twins. And we are definitely having another cruller. Yum, jelly. (Evil Beet)
Kim Kardashian sued by ex-boyfriend's mom. Oh, what a tangled web. (The Blemish)
Rihanna launches her own umbrella line. What if her hit song had been called "Colostomy Bag"? Guess you can't really stand under one of those, though. Or can you? (Daily Stab)
January 23, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: No, No, No. Ella, Ella, Ella.
Heath Ledger's autopsy proved to be "inconclusive". (The Hollywood Gossip) However, cops are saying that drug packets were found in his room, along with a $20 bill rolled up in a "suspicious" fashion. Maybe it was origami-folded into the shape of Snidely Whiplash! (TMZ)
Possibly the last picture of Heath taken (very Depp!), on the set of his movie, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Which sounds like a poor man's Dr. Magorium's Wonder Imporium. (Derek Hail)
Sylvester Stallone says that he's nothing but a "tiny fairy". Don't do 'roids, kids. (FemaleFirst)
The fat kid from Stand By Me is not only married to Rebecca Romijn, he does a high-larious Tom Cruise iimpression. (Yeeeah!)
Keeley Hazell is pretty. She has big breasts. Let us gaze upon her image and swell with joy and erectile tissue. (Popoholic)
Whoops! Guess she said "no, no, no" after all. Fantastic, we wouldn't have wanted her to harm the integrity of her hit single. (A Socialite's Life)
Rihanna, half naked, covered in water. Insert obligatory "Umbrella" joke. (Cityrag)
Attention, France! Your do not have supermodel-singer Carla Bruni as a first lady. Haha, France! In your face! You lose! Although you do produce very delicious breads and cheeses and berets. We'll give you that much, France. (Celeb Warship)
Here is a list of Oscar nominations. Not only are we witty and rich and can bench 550 pounds, we're helpful, too! (Allie Is Wired)
January 16, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Leg-Spreading and Fetus-Getting
Cleava Mendes. (Drunken Stepfather) "Dear Brad Renfro. We came over to fuck you but you were dead. Love, Tiffany and Amber." Rest in peace, Brad. (Fatback and Collards)
We want to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!", honestly we do, but we just can't when she keeps flipping us her outer labes. (Taxi Driver)
Jenna Jameson swears that she will "never spread her legs" for the porn industry again. She will spread Philadelphia's whipped strawberry cream cheese, though. It's the wonderfully spreadable, sweetly fruity topping with only 60 calories per serving! (IDLYITW)
Alessandra Ambrosio caught Pregnant, too. (The Blemish)
Zac Efron was rushed to the emergency room for an emergency highlighting. Those buttery chunks ain't gonna streak themselves. (Derek Hail)
Lumps on Halle Berry's torso: now there are three. (Daily Stab)
"Now that bulbs flashing more than ever/You can see under my dress, fellas. Ellas. Ellas. Ay. Ay." (Cityrag)
Jennifer Garner may have been the original target of Tom's Cruise missile of love. (Superficial)
December 17, 2007
You Can Stand Under Rihanna's S&M-brella
It's Monday. We spent the weekend battling traffic and malls and sales people giving us blank looks while asking other clueless sales people "Do we sell something called a--what was it again?-- a DVC player?" and teeangers whining "But Ma-uh-um!" We have never felt more like Garfield in our life. Except maybe that time we were really depressed and stuck our face in a tray of microwave lasagna and didn't sit upright until every noodle was consumed. But you know our philosophy: Boobs make everything better. So have another cup of that office coffee that tastes like liquid rat shit and look at Rihanna over there. It's as if she's peering down at her own cleavage, saying "It's magnificent, isn't it? Go on, take a look. I won't mind. I only want to make you smile." Because, you see, even when she's dressed up like that lady you pay to pee in your face, she's still just a sweet little innocent. There's no fooling us, Rihanna.
November 13, 2007
Rihanna Eschews Toaster, Brings Side Boob as Wedding Present
God, Rihanna, you are so selfish. It's all you, you, you, isn't it? First you break up with Shia TheBeef, sending him on a downward spiral that ended with drunken Walgreens loitering. There is no lower low. Then you show up to your cousin's wedding all, "Look at my boobs, look at my boobs." Do you ever think of anyone else? They have feelings too, you know. The National Enquirer reports (vai Celebitchy): The 19-year-old singer went to her cousin Nigel Alstroms wedding in Barbados on Oct. 27. But before the happy couple even cut the cake, she was asked to take her on-display breasts and her diva attitude and get out, say sources.That was so rude, Rihanna. Everyone knows you only bring side boob when you're related to the bride. Do yourself a favor and read Emily Post before you go to any more weddings.
Rihanna is known for dressing very sexy - but no one expected her to show up at a wedding dressed like she was on stage, declared a family insider. She was the center of attention instead of the bride - and the bride and groom got upset!
The entertainer also put on a show - blowing kisses to fans as she entered the church.
She would have been more low-key, dressed appropriately and not have had such a star attitude, said the family insider.
She had words with her aunt and mother, and she was asked to leave.
She asked what was she supposed to do - come dressed in a paper bag? Rihanna agreed to leave.
November 07, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: Matt n' Mandy, Sittin' in a Tree
Is our sweet angel Mandy Moore getting Binged? Oh Christ, NO! (Yeeeah!) Our favorite opiate connoisseur, Porky Petey Dough-erty, has returned to form. Now with video! (Drunken Stepfather)
And Pete's ex, Kate Moss, sports some really sharp needles of her own. (Taxi Driver)
Jerry O'Connell has hot wife; poor self-esteem. (The Blemish)
Famous nipples met flash, and a beautiful friendship was borned unto us. (Cityrag)
Leelee Sobieski is packin' mad mammage. (Daily Stab)
Jessica Simpson navigates metal grate in stilettos. Hilarity ensues. (Egotastic!)
Eva Mendes shills for Campari. Up next, CelebNewsWire promotes Alize and Blue Nun! (Derek Hail)
Rihanna and Josh Hartnett are doin' it: their babies will be large of forehead and beady of eye. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
Which is causing poor Shia the Beef to marinate himself in a nice vodka rub. (PopCrunch)
Rebecca De Mornay? No, Rebecca Dui Mornay. (TMZ)
September 10, 2007
2007 VMAs = Very Mundane Awards
So the VMAs were last night. And in between stifled yawns and many, many glasses of Arbor Mist (it's like juice--but with booze!), we made a few observations. First, Beyoncι's boobs are really jiggly. Sarah Silverman is still not funny just because she's mean (AND she has now made us feel sympathy for Paris Hilton TWICE, and for that she must pay). We are old and completely out of touch and have no idea who this Chris Brown fellow is, but boy can dance (though he can't lip sync worth a damn). Kid Rock and Tommy Lee need to chill the fuck out; we're sure Pammy would still screw them both so there's no need to fight over who gets the privilege. Some people were walking around with little silver statues, but we're not sure why; maybe they were cool new accessories, like Kanye West's sunglasses. Dr. Dre looked like he shopped for his awards-show duds in the closet of either Hans or Franz. Rihanna's dress was really, really tight and her hair was inexplicably awesome.
Paris Hilton's dress was really, really tight and her hair was explicably horrendous--but still a lovely tribute to Florence Henderson.
The part of Jennifer Garner was filled by her Madame Tussaud's wax figure--and had really awful hair.
And we feel like there was something else we were going to mention. God. What was it? There is nothing left in our head concerning last night's awards ceremony. Did something else happen? We just can't remember.
more »
August 29, 2007
Shia Slipping Rihanna the Beef?
Look at the picture of Rihanna to your left. Now envision Transformers star Shia "The Beef" LeBeouf parked right between those satiny knees. According to some highly dubious reports, the pair are "officially dating". Sez EntertainmentWise:
The pair who were photographed enjoying a beverage at a bar last month are now an item, but are taking things "slow."Said website includes a reader survey where you can air your opinion of the couple, and apparently, 56% think that "it's so randome but they look cute". Listen, we ain't no walking Chicago Manual of Style and we make plenty of grammar and spelling mistakes, so we'll forgive Entertainmentwise for their snafu. After all, having a photo of Rihanna's expansive twelvehead staring you in the face while you're typing would easily cause such a slip. more »
Its all the talk of the Indiana Jones 4 set, an insider told Perez Hilton.
The report goes on to claim that LaBeouf took Rihanna out on a romantic date Tuesday at Kate Mantilini in Beverly Hills.
August 20, 2007
Screw That Umbrella; Stand Under Rihanna's Boobs
Yesterday we thought that if we had to hear "Umbrella" one more damn time we would have to hunt down Rihanna and punch her straight on in the fivehead. Today she gives us boobies, and a possible hint of nip, so all is forgiven. Boobies are the true cure all. more »
July 25, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: "Did Not Do Drugs They're Not Mine"
Lindsay tells Billy Bush, "Yes. I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine." Well, technically the drugs they found weren't "done" yet because they were in her pocket. So . . . yeah! Innocent! (TMZ) Lily Allen does not suffer Courtney Loves gladly. (Celeb Warship)
Eva Mendes sends Jane mag off to the glue factory with a hearty strippin'. (Cityrag)
Penelope Cruz in shocking eyelash controversy! (Celebitchy)
Kim Kardashian to bring her bustle-like humpback heinie to Playboy? (Derek Hail)
When Hilary Duff was a baby, her mom spiked her like a football. Over and over. (Hollywood Grind)
Jennifer Garner rocks a lacy 1998 momthong. (Taxi Driver)
What's longer: Rihanna's legs or her forehead? The world may never know. (Drunken Stepfather)
June 01, 2007
The Silence of Her Hams
Do not persecute us for posting this picture of Jodie Foster's rear (from TMZ, via SplashNews).1. It was the nakedest celeb shot we were able to unearth today
2. Jodie has a new movie coming out shortly, and perhaps posting her flanks encased in nylon will make it a summer blockbuster? We're happy to lend a hand
3. We've already posted Barbra Streisand's large, wobbly, sexagenarian Yentls stuffed into a blouse sans bra, so what the hey
4. We're imagining that Jodie was posing for an innocent photo shoot when the puppy from her original Coppertone baby butt shot approached, grizzled and limping and ancient and frail, and depantsed her one last time before gleefully exclaiming, "Rou've reen RUNK'D, Rodie Roster!"
5. Oh, shut up, baby. Here's some shots of Rihanna with cake on her crotch and Keri Russell with whipped cream on her jug. In case you have a sweet tooth in your drawers or something. more »
May 15, 2007
Maxim Overturns Accepted Order of Sexiness
It seems that every month or so some magazine or website or other collective of undersexed males declares who, at that very moment, every man on earth should want to do dirty things to more than any other living female. For a while there it looked as if Angelina Jolie would top every such list for eternity, but apparently scooping up the world's orphans one by one and making them crazy sexy cool isn't that hot. Recent months have seen Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel duking it out, with the boobs winning out in the winter months and the butt emerging like a spring tulip to entrance all comers. But today we have a long-lost dark horse pulling out in front. Can you stand the suspense? Really, really, can you? Aw, crap. We put her picture right there next to these words and ruined the surprise. We suck. more »
January 08, 2007
Celebrity Beachwear (Un)Coverage
After all those grueling hours standing on red carpets and smiling, sorting through awards show gift bags to separate the $8000 items from the shitty $2500 items, and spending $500/week on aromatherapy for their shi tzus, celebrities find themselves in a state of Exhaustion that nothing but a trip to an exotic locale can cure. Celebrity beach month continues today, and after the jump, see some barely-legal Rihanna cheeks, some Keira Knightley skin stretched taut over skeleton and musculature, and Kate Moss defying everything we know about medical science and anatomy and proving that she is the only woman whose breasts got smaller after giving birth. more »
November 29, 2006
CNW Junk Drawer: Lips and Teeth
Hilary Duff has dropped her older emo craprocker lover with MySpace hair.
She's also dropped the lower 2 inches off those much-maligned veneers. Neiggggh!
J. Lo can't seem to make a baby. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that her husband is a reanimated corpse. That was mean.
In this crazy age of full-on spread pink Britney labia in our faces, it's kind of refreshing and titillating to see a lady in a bikini. Good on ya, Kelly Brook.
Rihanna, on the other hand, is taking a page from the Merry Divorcιe and serving up lippage.
Britney has mysteriously pulled out of planned joint Billboard Awards hosting duties, leaving Paris to go it solo. That marks the very first time you've ever heard "Britney" and "pulled out" in the same sentence.
Borat blamed for the Pam Anderson-Kid Rock split. In related news, Borat causes global warming, racial profiling was Borat's idea, and Borat sold all that vodka to Mel Gibson.
Note to Snoop: YOU HAVE MONEY. HIRE SOMEONE TO CARRY YOUR DRUGS AND GUNS FOR YOU.
She's also dropped the lower 2 inches off those much-maligned veneers. Neiggggh!
J. Lo can't seem to make a baby. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that her husband is a reanimated corpse. That was mean.
In this crazy age of full-on spread pink Britney labia in our faces, it's kind of refreshing and titillating to see a lady in a bikini. Good on ya, Kelly Brook.
Rihanna, on the other hand, is taking a page from the Merry Divorcιe and serving up lippage.
Britney has mysteriously pulled out of planned joint Billboard Awards hosting duties, leaving Paris to go it solo. That marks the very first time you've ever heard "Britney" and "pulled out" in the same sentence.
Borat blamed for the Pam Anderson-Kid Rock split. In related news, Borat causes global warming, racial profiling was Borat's idea, and Borat sold all that vodka to Mel Gibson.
Note to Snoop: YOU HAVE MONEY. HIRE SOMEONE TO CARRY YOUR DRUGS AND GUNS FOR YOU.
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