filed under: restraining orders

We're thinking about taking a binge and purge approach to Britney Spears gossip from now on. We'll hold out for as long as we can, denying ourselves any information on the sad, sad life of our favorite fallen pop star, then maybe once a week we'll lower our defenses and allow the wave of Brit news to wash over us, leaving a cheesy, greasy stain. In today's binge we learn that Brit had plastic palookas installed when she was a wee teener and Sam Lutfi is heartily battling Howard K. Stern for the title of World's Supreme Asshole. It's gonna be a tight race. more »

It seems that Britney Spears is employing the tag-team approach to her genital companions these days. When one gets tired she sends him back to the side of the ring and tags in fresh meat. Only the tag team in question isn't comprised of only two cammo-clad Bushwhackers, but the entire fleet of paparazzi trailing her night and day. Our gossip Bobby the Brain Heenan, FemaleFirst, brings us an update in the adventures of Brit's pap attack:

Britney Spears has dumped her photographer lover and filed a restraining order against him.

The troubled star ended her relationship with Adnan Ghalib - who she is believed to have started dating last December - after discovering he was cashing in on his romance with her by tipping off his agency FinalPixx with photo opportunities.

Britney got her revenge on Adnan by inviting two photographers from a rival agency into her Los Angeles home at 2am on Sunday (20.01.08), saying: "Come with me, let's have fun."

As the group arrived at the property the singer's manager Sam Lufti brandished a paper he claimed was a restraining order banning Adnan, 35, from making money from photographs of the star.

Britney spent four hours with the two paparazzi drinking champagne and dancing to music including singer Amy Winehouse's album 'Back to Black' and one of her own LPs.

One photographer named Roberto said: "We had fun. Britney was funny, very relaxed, dancing a little bit and she carried her little dog all the time. Sam was telling us to not worry about Adnan because they have filed a restraining order against him."

Adnan - who was pictured buying pregnancy tests with Britney last week - insists is unaware of any restraining order because he has been at a family funeral.

He said in a statement issued on the FinalPixx website: "All I can say is that I have not been in contact with Britney since early Friday morning (18.01.08). The reason being that I had to attend a family funeral in Santa Barbara. My phone has been off during this time out of respect for my family. I am only now becoming aware of what is being said. I hope to be back home in Los Angeles soon and to be in contact with Miss Spears."

The Los Angeles police department say they are "not aware" of any emergency protective order issued against Adnan.

This is probably just Britney's way of rehearsing for her next music video. We hear she's thinking of employing every pap in L.A. as a backup singer/dancer in an effort to rid the streets of all qualified photographers. It's genius.

"Hey, Mom, thanks for trying to help me stop taking drugs and drinking till I puke and flashing my poon in everyone's faces. But you know what? I like drugs. And drinking. And puking. And my poon. So you can just f off, and here are the legal papers to make sure you can never talk to me or see me again. Love, Britney." more »

How do you tell your mom you love her and thank her for birthing you and helping you through that breakup with Justin and teaching you how to change a poopy diaper and then, after realizing that you were just throwing the poopy diapers in the corner, buying you a big trash can with a really tight-fitting lid that helped the nursery not smell like partially digested strained peas? By telling her, "Stay the F away from my babies, you traitor." more »

We have been known to jest about Hilary Duff in the past. Mr. Ed may have been mentioned, there may have been jokes about a dentist who specializes in implanting novelty teeth into the mouths of women named Hilary (Duff and Swank), disparaging remakes may have been made in regards to Agent Cody Banks or Raise Your Voice. But we do not wish Hilary Duff any bodily or mental harm. We do not enjoy stalkers because every once in a while they turn out to have some follow through like the man who shot that nice girl from My Sister Sam, and we prefer our starlets alive and healthy and capable of withstanding our constant mockery. more »