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filed under: Pink

September 12, 2008

U + Ur E-Meter

pink-thumbs-up-suit.jpg There is a plague among us. Little by little it is claiming the lives of Hollywood's elite. But along the way it must also claim the souls of those not-so-elite, those who earn less than $50 million a year, Hollywood's poor D-listers. Once it's through with all of Tinseltown, from Brad Pitt all the way through Brian Bonsal, it will come for the rest of us. So beware. If someone approaches you and offers up a copy of Diantics and tries to strap you to an e-meter, run for your life, but know that ultimately there is no escape. One day, you will end up like Pink. According to Contact Music (via Yeeeah!):
Friends reveal the singer has sought comfort from [confirmed Scientologist] Juliette Lewis, who is introducing her to the controversial religion. A source tells Star magazine, “Pink is in the beginning stages of checking out the religion, but she has taken to it and she wants to get more involved.”
You know what this means: baby rape is definitely off the menu in the Pink household. Whew! more »
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February 29, 2008

Pink Cheats with Chicks

pink_in_pink.jpgPink is certainly living up to her colorful moniker--now that she and BMX bandit husband Carey Hart are divorcing, rumors are flying that the reason might have something to do with the fact that she prefers the ham-hued folds of the fairer sex's laps. Says the Enquirer, via Celebitchy:
Recently Pink has been spotted hanging with the openly gay cast members of Showtime’s The L Word at Hollywood’s hotspot Falcon and watching the nearly-naked female go-go dancers at Truck Stop, a popular ladies’ night in West Hollywood, said the insider.

She and a posse of girlfriends also hit Eleven Nightclub in West Hollywood, posing for pictures with the buff star of lesbian movie “The Gymnast.”

A recently internet report also said Pink was seen cavorting with a woman on Feb. 7 at Macy Gray’s private showcase at The Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles…

A pal of Carey’s said: “They had an open relationship and it worked for a while. But at some point Pink quit telling Carey about her affair with women. Then he’d find out and confront her. Eventually, he went back to womanizing and all that was left… was to divorce.”
Isn't this situation like every dude's dream? Marrying some incredibly rich dame who brings other ladies home and into your waiting bed? This is grounds for swooning, not divorce papers, Carey Hart. You foolish cur. Now you will just have to go back to wearing your sunglasses at night.
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February 19, 2008

Pink Sez: "Marriage Stinks. I'm Outta Here."

pink carey hart tongue kiss.jpg Prepare to be knocked right out of your Herman Miller Aeron chair, because we've got a shocker for you: Pink and Carey Hart are getting a divorce. We know. An unexpected blow like this is hard. We're thinking of starting a support group if you're interested. People reports:
The marriage of pop singer Pink and her husband of two years, motocross racer and former The Surreal Life star Carey Hart, has ended, the singer's publicist, Michele Schweitzer, tells PEOPLE.

"Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another," says Schweitzer, adding, "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger."

Pink, 28, and Hart, 32, met at the 2001 X Games and broke up for a time in 2003, but the split was well behind them in 2005, when the singer popped the question to her beau as he sped around the track during a competition in Mammoth Lakes, Calif.

They married in January 2006 at a non-denominational ceremony in Costa Rica. Among the 100 guests was Lisa Marie Presley.

In August 2007, amid reports that the marriage was on the rocks, Hart dismissed the stories as "just a bunch of trash talk."
Man, this is so sad. We mean, look at how in love they were once:

pink carey hart kiss phone cigarette.jpg
Feelings that deep just don't come around that often. How long will it take Pink to find a (wo)man who stirs up such emotions in her that she's willing to ignore both her clove ciggy and her Red Bull for a smooch? And if she does find that (wo)man, how likely will it be that (s)he will be willing to pause a very important cell phone conversation to receive said snog? So sad.
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November 08, 2007

Pink Makes out with Chick, Shocks No One

pink is a bunny.jpg We generally don't have much interest in Pink. She's ex-treem, she hates Britney Spears, she's probably divorcing that guy who does some sort of sport type thing that don't give a shit about. Whatever. But you know what we do have an interest in? Two girls making out. Unfortunately when one of those girls is Pink the fantasy is sort of ruined, since we're pretty sure she's actually a dude. In fact, a Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes face sucking contains more estrogen than a Pink + random chick makeout. Our brothel madam, FemaleFirst, reports:
Pink has been seen kissing a woman, further fuelling reports her marriage is in trouble.

The 'Stupid Girls' singer - who has been plagued by rumours her relationship with her motocross star husband Carey Hart is on the rocks - is allegedly so tired of her husband's dalliances with other women she decided to hit back by "making out" with a mystery woman at Santa Monica's Viceroy Hotel.

A source told Australia's New Weekly magazine: "She was flirting the way you'd expect her to flirt with a man, cuddling and being overly affectionate. They were making out."

Pink's representative has strongly denied the star is having a lesbian fling, and insists Pink was just enjoying a night out with her friends.

Carey was reportedly seen dirty dancing with a mystery brunette on a drunken night out without his wife.

A source said: "He was having a great time. Pink wouldn't have been happy!"

The reports have surfaced just weeks after it was claimed Pink was regretting agreeing to an open marriage.

A source said: "Divorce is just around the corner. Carey has this one blonde in particular that he takes everywhere, even public appearances. But Pink knew what she was getting into!"

Pink allegedly agreed that Carey could "play away from home" while she is on tour, but is now getting broody and wants to start a family.

She was recently overheard telling friends at Hollywood restaurant Eleven that she wanted time apart from Carey after just 21 months of marriage.

A source said: "She told them, 'We're just not getting along anymore. We each need our space. We need our distance. It's not like it was when we first started.' "

When asked about their marriage in September, Carey, 32, said "everything's fine".

A representative for Pink, 28, branded rumours the couple are splitting up as "complete bullshit."
God, we never thought two girls kissing could be so boring. Well, unless we were talking about Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, of course. more »
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December 01, 2006

Pink Misses Opportunity To Display Her Pink

pink upskirt.jpg For the fourth day this week we bring you a blonde pop star donning a tiny little skirt and spreading her legs wide for the camera as she exits an automobile. But whereas Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday brought us up-close looks at Britney Spears's shorn snatch and C-section scar, Friday brings a more demure look, with Pink covering up her cootch with two whole layers of fabric. God, Pink, you're such a prude. more »
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August 04, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: Pink Pee

• As a half-Jew, Rob Schneider refuses to ever work with Mel Gibson. Braveheart 2 just got 54% less zany!

• Ever seen pink pee before? No? Ever seen Pink pee before? Also no? Well, here ya go.

• Carmen Electra and Shannon Elizabeth are pals. If C-list hangs with D-list, does that elevate them to B-list?

• If you posess fashion experience and much love for checkered bondage pants, you can work for Gwen Stefani and her L.A.M.B. label. Just email skagirl.com. Skagirl . . . we think we cybered with her in the AOL Skankin' Pickle room in 1994.

• Melanie Griffith takes the Cruddiest Mom of the Year crown from Dina Lohan when she lights her teenage daughter Dakota's cigarette.

• Cindy Crawford plus stripper pole plus mojitos minus bra equals summer fun for the whole family.

• Al Reynolds dons spandex; gets late-night booty call from large man in bucket hat.

• In case you were wondering who, on God's green Earth, would admire the jauntily shoddy designs of Charlie Sheen's ill-timed kidswear company, Sheen Kidz, the answer is: Britney. Naturally.

• Penelope Cruz is the first non-Scientologist to step forth and claim that Suri No Middle Name Cruise exists.

• Is David Geffen getting Stiflered?
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June 06, 2006

Nip's Coming Out So You Better Get This Piercing Started

We've got to hand it to Pink--she certainly takes it to the next level. Bored with traditional crack barings and underskirt pokies, she's ushering in a new age of celebrity skin. Ladies and germs, kindly slip into your Body Glove wet suit, slam a Dew and jump into your Suzuki Samurai, and enjoy, after the NSFW jump, X-treem tit slippage. more »
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May 30, 2006

Pink's Pink in Black and White

If you'll recall awhile back, Pink became our go-to sexy lady. While Angelina Jolie was all full of baby and not so inclined to talk about the various visitors to her vagina and Eva Longoria was off getting her vibrators serviced (so they could better service her, of course), Pink seemed to be the only non-penis wielder to be talking about sex and nudity and all things titillating. So of course we knew it was only a matter of time before we saw some sort of nudity from the girl. And today that time has arrived. more »
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May 02, 2006

Distinct Lack of Kink from Pink

Technically, this story about singer Pink discussing (we accidentally typed "disgusting" there, a very apropos typo, to be sure) her proclivities in the boudoir should have been the lead "Sexy Lady" story. But in the past month, she's become the Eva Longoria of the pop music world, gaining press by flapping her gums in regards to sexy stuff, and we didn't want to reward her for that. Except we . . . kinda . . . are. With this entry. And . . . stuff. more »
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April 18, 2006

Pink's Ode to the Hand Shandy

Pink claims that a song on her new album is about masturbation. Um, sorry to break this to you, Pink, but you're about twenty-three years too late on the shocking female diddling song tip. Bop, she bop. more »
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April 10, 2006

Pink Wants to Live Up to Her Moniker

According to our gossip guide dog, FemaleFirst, "Pop star Pink hates wearing clothes and wishes the music industry would let her perform naked." If only! If only! Damn that confounded music industry and their hatred of taut, toned, naked flesh! When, when will evil overlords Sire and Atlantic, et al, release their artists from the shackles that bind them and set them free to doff their high-collared, ankle-grazing dresses, shapless capes, and bustles? Oh, if only sex could sell records! more »
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March 22, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: Erecting a Twelve Foot Pole

• Jennifer Aniston is moving to Chicago. We can't wait to run into her in the health and beauty aisle at Jewel!

• Piper Perabo lowers herself to date former pill-popper/Friends friend Matthew Perry. Move over TomKat and Brangelina, here's . . . Pipthew Perrybo?

• Our #1 deity, Mariah Carey, teams up with Snoop, shoots a video, mounts a mesa of Vuitton luggage, wears very little clothing.

• Salma Hayek chortles when confronted with Colin Farrell's weenis. Understandable.

• Portman pokies, redux!

• If your daughter were Tori Spelling, wouldn't you sue her too? Just for fun?

• K-Fed hates the Pavarotti, loves his kids and wife, raps about it in hot new tune on MySpace. This one's for the haters. Fuck the media.

• Pink's special surprise for her husband is reportedly a "12ft pole to be erected in her dressing room". But the bigger surprise is that said pole is being erected in her pants! Because she's a man, see.

• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler is about to undergo surgery for an "undisclosed medical condition". Lip reduction? Eyeliner tattoos? Scarfectomy?
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December 21, 2005

CNW Junk Drawer: Scars on Titties and Whiskers on Kittens

• Pink promises that for one day only, her wedding day, she will "be a girl". But after the ceremony is over, the dress and all its frilly, lacy trappings will come off, the foot-long silicone strap-on will come out, and Pink will bend her new husband over their marriage bed and show that little bitch who wears the pants.

• Heidi Klum probes her husband.

• Which one's cuter?: Mischa Barton with a kitty! Awww! Awwww! Awwwwwwwwww!

• 50 Cent will let his little boy mock murder people and watch porno, but cussing's where he draws the line.

• Lindsay Lo-ho and Keanu Reeves might be heading for a shack-up. One can only imagine the stimulating conversations these two have.

• Nip slip? Bah. Lip slip? Soooo two days ago. Rhona Mitra goes next level with an implant scar slip. Jealous, bitches?

• Sorry, boys! Elton John is officially off the market!

• The terrorists will never win when we have freedom on our side! Freedom, and Alyssa Milano's breast.
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November 10, 2005

CNW Junk Drawer: "Baby, I'm Scaring Myself!"

• Pink says she wants to have lezzie sex with Kelly Osbourne. Well, that makes one of us.

• Jessica Alba pokes our eyes out. With her tits.

• Ren้e Zellweger's behatted bygone ball and chain Kenny Chesney assures us that he's "pretty firm" in his sexuality. Just pretty firm, though.

• Stamos Nachos learns an important lesson: when driving Paris Hilton's Bentley under the influence while chased by paparazzi and while bystanders are filming the whole melee, do not obscure your drunken double vision with your jacket or you will crash into a truck, leaving your girlfriend no other recourse than to blow kisses at the cops. Oh, please, like we all haven't been there.

• Mischa Barton's publicist once urged her to play hide-the-hot-dog with Leonardo diCaprio to further her career. Mischa expressed digust, not because he looks like a weepy-eyed Pekingese or the fact that he was on Growing Pains and totally has gross Ben Seaver germs, but because he's "like, thirty, or something".

• Jessica Simpson tried to pull an Angelina and went on a humanitarian mission to Africa, only to fake sick. Because she's an asshole.

• Models! Fluffy wings! Horny elves! Tyra Banks's farewell to modeling! Asses curiously devoid of cellulite! Light-up tit-tays! Candy canes! Inexplicable puffballs! High-res pics! Heidi Klum having a better body 8 hours after giving birth than we had at age 16! It's the Victoria's Secret fashion show! Wheeee!

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July 01, 2005

CNW Junk Drawer: Engagements A-Go-Go. And Poop.

• Pink proposed to her boyfriend, motocross racer and Surreal Life star Carey Hart. Not to be confused with Corey Hart. That would just be preposterous.

• Looks like Stella Lost Her Groove again. Because, as it turns out, her groove was A Gay.

• Fergie scares us. Fergie looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid that grew up and turned into a gypsy tweaker. But apparently, that's a look Josh Duhamel likes enough that he wants to wake up next to it for the rest of his life, so, you know. We're shutting up now.

• Bobby and Whitney say: You don't know true love until you've dug impacted feces out of your lover's sphincter.

• Brangelina gets attacked by some crazy punk kid! Not screwing? Pfft.

•Hey, look. Mariah Carey has a new boyfriend.

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