CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.
The Hollywood poop.
filed under: nip slips
June 03, 2009
BOOP!
"Smile" singer Lily Allen is such a goddamn good time. She's cute, she's funny, she sings good, she hates Perez Hilton, she makes fun of everyone, she drinks more than Hasselhoff at a White Castle and she is always pulling her squeakers out. In the last two days, she's shown her stuff twice--once on the beach and once at some event. The event pics are cool because besides the nip slip, she's standing next to a sign that inexplicably reads "ANAL". The beach pics are cool because her boobs are so delightfully pert. It makes you want to reach out a finger and poke one while saying, "BOOP!"The good stuff--the NSFW stuff--is after the cut. more »
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May 21, 2009
CNW Junk Drawer: Cannes You Dig It
Brad's all, "C'mon, Angelina, we have to get to Cannes" and she's all, "Hold up, Brad, I gotta show the paps a little more of where Shilohs come from." (Yeeeah!) Maria Bello. Topless. Tied to a bed. Believe it. (Nudography)
And speaking of Maria Bello, did you know that she was from the greater Philadelphia area? Isn't that fascinating? Yeah! And it just so happens that Mr Skin has a Top 10 Sexiest Babes from Philly list out now! (Mr Skin)
Adriana Lima's nipples in a gilded cage of a bra. (Drunken Stepfather)
Rihanna's got a brand new, hopefully much less punchy, beau. (Amy Grindhouse)
Lady Gaga learns a sobering lesson. Bleached hair and skimpy white clothing with lots of jewelry makes folks think you're a Russian prostitute. (Faded Youth)
Cameron Diaz has strict "if it's yellow, let it mellow" rules. (Daily Stab)
Britney Spears in a bikini on the beach. No, you can go look. It's nice! Seriously. Hey, hey. Look at us. Look. It's okay. It's okay. Really. Shhhh. (The Blemish)
Is Lindsay Lohan getting her poon chewn by Sam again? (Holy Moly)
Hayden Panettiere's tattoo is spelled wrong. LOLOLOLOLOL. LOLOLOL forever. (Flisted)
March 18, 2009
CNW Junk Drawer: Itsy Bitsy McPheeni Weeny
American Idol once-was Katharine McPhee in a bikini. McPheeni? Mikphini? (The Blemish) Country star LeeAnn Rimes. She's bubbly! She's adorable! She's America's sweetheart! She's having hot, sweaty, extramarital sexual intercourse with actor Eddie Cibrian! (Us Weekly)
Things are not looking good for Natasha Richardson, who suffered a serious brain injury after skiing and is rumored to be brain dead. Just another reason strapping sticks to your feet and sliding down an icy mountain is a preposterous notion. Dang, but this is sad. (Celeb Warship)
Tiny Smurfling Christina Ricci is engaged to freaky beanpole Owen Benjamin. Their children will be . . . average? (Pop on the Pop)
And apparently, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are engaged. We . . . have . . . nothing to say about that? (Yeeeah!)
Furthermore, crack baby Bijou Phillips is engaged to long-term boyfriend Danny Masterson. Because who wouldn't want to marry a girl you can call "Beej"? (Daily Stab)
Charlize Theron uses her hand as a brassiere. Good job! Now use 'em as a jockstrap, baby. (Cityrag)
Kate Moss's gigundo nipple muscles its way into a photo shoot. Because it is an autonomous being, with its own brain, emotions, and soul. (Drunken Stepfather)
Porn star Sasha Grey celebrates her 21rst birthday. With Billy Corgan. The world is a vampire. (PopPorn)
Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush photo shoot. If they got married, she could be Kim Kardashian Bush. Hahahaha. (Anything Hollywood)
March 09, 2009
A Couple of Old Biddies Show off Their Junk
Upon rising this morning, chances are you cursed this whole "spring forward" bullshit, but then you turned to more important topics: like old memaws showing off their private areas. Because everyone knows there's no better cure to a stilted night of sleep than seeing a wrinkly nipple or a saggy labia. It's better than a triple espresso spiked with cocaine. After the cut, see Pam Anderson's exposed breast and Nicollette Sheridan's hanging labia.more »
February 24, 2009
All the Single Boobies, All the Single Boobies
While watching the Oscars on Sunday night, we tried to keep our eyes open, scanning swooping necklines for a peek of areola. Honestly, we tried our best. We were on high alert whenever Evan Rachel Wood or Sarah Jessica Parker appeared before the camera. But we also admit that we were well into our cups halfway through the first musical number. And apparently we were gazing in the wrong direction, as it wasn't a lady with a triple name poking her nipple into view, but a lady with only one: Beyonce. It's like she knows us, knows that her current hit, "All the Single Ladies," has been running through our head for weeks. Only now it will go a little something like this: All the single boobies, all the single boobies. Now put your nips up. (Something something something, she sings too fast to understand.) Cause if you like it then shouldn't put a bra on it. If you like it then you shouldn't put a bra on it." After the cut, a big ol' slice of Beyonce's nipple. more »
February 19, 2009
CNW Junk Drawer: Golden R-earring
Pam Anderson straps on the golden thong and jiggles it. Just a little bit. (IDLYITW) Zahara and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt are cooler than you, and they can't even read. (Pop on the Pop)
Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto has a secret husband. She's keeping him on the DL because he's so very attractive. (Anything Hollywood)
Pussycat Guy Nicole Scherzinger slips a nip. And what a nip it is. (The Blemish)
Let's play Celebrity Ass Pick. It's more fun than Cootie! (Cityrag)
16-year-old Miley Cyrus's femme underwear model boyfriend Justin Gaston says he "looks up" to her. Because she's really good with a flat iron and an eyelash curler. How does she DO that? (Faded Youth)
Liev Schreiber desires man boobs. Perhaps he should talk to the male cast of Lost for tips. (Yeeeah!)
Gisele Bundchen see through. Not a half-assed bra see-through either. There's nipple. That's right. (Drunken Stepfather)
Aniston and Jolie will have a duel at high noon at the Oscars. (Allie Is Wired)
Chace Crawford rejects Lindsay Lohan. Again. Because he's gay. And she's faux gay. (PopCrunch)
January 27, 2009
Mischa Barton Slips Nip, Kisses Girl. Ooh, She Bad!
We are bold, brave souls, so we're going to take the advice of Nike's marketers and just do it. And by "it" we mean put this here picture of Mischa Barton's nip slip (if you can even call it that) right on our front page. Oh yeah, we're rebels, you know it. You may look at that picture and think, "But, CelebNewsWire, there is clearly a bit of visible nipple right there. Doesn't that belong safely after a cut where it can't frighten the children or get you fired?" And we say, "No, dammit! Screw the cut!" Because really, your children already know how to find video of a morbidly obese woman sucking off a donkey; what makes you think a cut is going to keep them from seeing a little areola? (Plus, we don't think many children are stumbling upon this little gossip blog, unless they are really big fans of both Steve Guttenberg and the art of mime.) And as for your boss, if he sees you spying a bit of boob tip at your desk, just tell him that you know that he's fucking his secretary. There's a 90% chance it's true. Oh, and anyway, areola alone doesn't count as nudity. If you could see it on NYPD Blue, it's good wholesome entertainment. And in case you still want more, here: Mischa kissing a chick. Pretty tame, we know, but it's what we've got. Suck it.
January 20, 2009
Yes We CANS
Today is the day, people! The day we have been waiting for. The day when the skies will open up and rain hope and joy onto our great nation. We've lived through many dark years. Lean times. Hungry times. Times marked by strife. But through the strife, there was hope. A change was going to come. And this historic day: January 20, 2009, will resonate in the minds, hearts, and souls of Americans for the rest of our lives. America: YES WE CAN.Yes we CAN see a Marisa Miller nip slip. IT HAPPENED. Hosanna on high! Click "more"! more »
December 16, 2008
Deck the Halls with Boobs of Halle
After the cut, you will find pictures of a lady with Larry Fine hair, a grommet-bedecked hooker frock, and moon boots. "But CelebNewsWire," you cry in protest, "that is surely not a thing that I would enjoy looking at whilst touching my privates." What if we told you that the aforementioned begrommetted hooker frock was slipping aside to reveal an entire boob? Are you sold? How about if we told you that the lady in this questionable get-up was the incomparably foxy Halle Berry? You'll buy that for a dollar. Go! Look!
more »
November 21, 2008
AnnaLynne McCord SliPs NippLe
We've tried to watch 90210, but usually about halfway through an episode we'll start thinking about cleaning out closets or something. It's just that boring. Kelly and Brenda haven't even engaged in a little hair pulling. Nothing. And AnnaLynne McCord is supposed to be the villain, but the writers don't have enough balls to actually make her do anything evil. Maybe the whole writing staff needs to spend a week or two watching nothing but Days of Our Lives to get some inspiration. How about a class trip to some sort of island far off the coast where they're supposed to do something pseudo-educational like study rocks or some shit, but when they get there it's revealed that AnnaLynne's character has actually taken all of her classmates hostage and will force them to produce tropical-themed porno until she's rich enough to move to Dubai? There. CelebNewsWire is a TV writer. Can we have our really big check now? Anyway, the whole point of this is that AnnLynne, she of the annoying four capital letters, slipped some nip on set. Maybe if they could leave that in it would be worth tuning in. After the cut, nip. more »
October 06, 2008
Salma Hayek Boober Alles
Salma Hayek recently appeared on a German talk show called Wetten Dass. And what an apropos name, because when you see Salma's hypnotic chest-chalupas stuffed precariously into a dirndl you'll be wettin' dass. And since the slippage doesn't exactly involve nippage, just areola, we're putting it on the front page. Why? Because we're mavericks. Blog outsiders.The Kaiser approves:
September 19, 2008
Mischa Barton Plays Lefty Breasty Loosey Two Days in a Row
Sometimes we love Mischa Barton's delightfully hippieish ways. The acceptance of all beings, big and small, no matter the size of their ball sack. The dazed, stoned look that always makes her look ethereally happy. The billowy, loose shirts that allow a boob or two to greet the light of day. But while we're appreciative that such a garment allowed Ms. Barton to bust out her chest button for the second time in two days, we can't help but wish for more. If only she would heed the advice of crotchety '60s dads and "Get a damn haircut, you hippie!" Then her whole tit would have been waving in the sunshine long enough for photographers to catch multiple angles of the free-lovin' thing. But instead we get one very pale nipple peeking out from behind long tresses. See said nip after the cut.more »
September 18, 2008
Nip Nip Cheerio: Mischa Slips Nipple in London
Have a gander at this picture of Mischa Barton in a London taxi last night. Look at the sticker placed over her boob. You may think that adhesive suggestion is asking one to not smoke cigarettes, but in actuality, that's a picture of a long nipple that is so very hot it is quite literally smoking. And Mischa, being the scofflaw that she is, deliberately thumbed her nose at England's archaic "no sexy nipples" rule and let hers pop out. Or maybe she was just wasted. Pics after the jump! more »
August 26, 2008
Hayden Panettiere Wears Party Hat. Hayden Panettiere Slips Party Hat.
Three apples high actress Hayden Panettiere has finally embraced her status as the teeniest, tiniest pygmy in Hollywood and was snapped sporting a gnome hat with her Studio 54 bikini at a pool a few days back. It was Hayden's birthday, and she celebrated the big 1-9 in the traditional fashion: constantly texting on a Blackberry while wearing sparkly novelty items before retiring to the pool to rub a naked boob upon a labrador retriever. Go forth to the cut! See boob meet pooch!
more »
August 19, 2008
Lily Allen Busts Out Right Hook and Both Boobs
She has black hair! She sings! She's English! She likes to get drunk and stumble down the street slurring and slamming her fist into every random person in her path! She's Amy Winehouse! No, wait. She's Lily Allen. The Sun reports:
Lily Allen swung a right hook after a drunken night out with TV presenter pal Miquita Oliver.Violence is fucking bad, you asshole cunt bitches. So make clicks through the cut to add some sex to your violence--Lily's Sugar Ray impression gave way to a double nip slip! more »
Lairy Lily knocked them back at The Groucho Club and then Ronnie Scott's in Soho, before getting into a fight with a female passer-by in the street.
The French girl provoked Lily by calling her a "fucking asshole". She also egged her on with further insults, with a vexed Lily shouting back: "Yeah, come and say that to my face you fucking cunt."
Keith's daughter - whose boob popped out of her top earlier in the boozy evening - then decided to exact her revenge on the mouthy pedestrian by punching her. After round one, Lily was ready to go back into the ring for more. She shouted: "Where is that bitch, man? I'll fucking batter her."
Thankfully T4 host Miquita persuaded her from temptation, with Lily agreeing: "Violence is bad."
August 08, 2008
Two! Two Lily Allen Nip Slips! Ah-Hah-Hah!
Nip slips are cool and all, but what about those of us who long for symmetry in our accidental celebrity nudity? It's like having a Shirley without a Laverne. A Lenny without a Squiggy. A . . . Carmine without . . . a . . . Edna Babish? So that's why anal retentive weirdos the world over are falling in love with Lily Allen today, a young lass who slips one nipple, then balances things out by slipping the other one an hour later. After the cut, the yin and yang of Lily Allen's cans will align your qi. more »
July 28, 2008
Blake Lively Slips Her mam der Woodsen
Do you miss Gossip Girl? Have you spent your summer wondering if things between Serena and Dan will work out? Have you been picturing the hot hate sex between Blair and Chuck? Have you been counting down the days until you get to see the whole cast decked out in Bill Blass resort wear (the '80s are back, baby!) in the Hamptons? We can't bring you that, but we can bring you Blake Lively's nipple. We may have preferred a seaside clam bake, but we'll take what we can get. After the cut, nip! more »
July 01, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Christ, Superstar
Reality show star/monster Heidi Montag promises to make a Christian album, compares herself to Jesus. "Because we both have really shiny hair and heal leopards," Heidi says. "That's what the poor people with zits are called, right?" (Yeeeah!) Katherine Heigl downblouse cleavage shot. By the by, why is the term downblouse? What an antiquated word. We don't say "upcrinoline". Though "crack above slacks" has a nice ring to it. (Egotastic!)
Anne Hathaway does not heed the rap world's advice to "stop snitchin'"; snitches. (Flisted)
Cameron Diaz is beginning to look a bit Wildensteinian. (Cityrag)
Eva Longoria gets plugged. Fireplugged, that is! (The Blemish)
Pharrell thinks tattoos and skin are like wallpaper. (FemaleFirst)
Lindsay Lohan and chick chum Samantha Ronson get cutesy together. (CelebWarship)
Zooey Deschanel is everyone's favorite. You there. Go. Look upon her in a swimsuit. (Don't Link This)
Bridget the Midget's nip slip proves that not ALL of her is tiny. (Taxi Driver)
Amy Winehouse hit a fan (and it felt like a kiss). (Allie Is Wired)
Eddie Murphy wants to retire from movies. Well, see ya. (Daily Stab)
May 21, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Still Big
Jessica Simpson gives herself a breast exam. "Are they still big? Yep. Yep. Still big." (Egotastic) Hey, ladies. Hold on to your panties and your cocktails, because Kiefer Sutherland is single! (Derek Hail)
Tina Turner says that Beyoncι will never be rock n' roll. Oh yeah? Well guess what, Tina? You'll never be polka! Eat that! (Female First)
Shania Twain has learned an important lesson: don't marry a straw-haired producer of bombastic rock music and live in seclusion in Europe lest straw-haired producer runs off with the manager of your Swiss chateau. Oh, that's a story as old as the hills. When will they ever learn? (Hollywire)
Every part of Kristen Bell is adorable. Up to and including her wee booty. (The Blemish)
The Hills's Whitney Port becomes Titney Port when she slipples nipple. (Drunken Stepfather)
And speaking of Hills douches, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get fingered. (Allie Is Wired)
Ten Toys that Made You Gay. (Cityrag)
Joss Stone explores another girl's dental work. With her tongue. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
Gossip Girl's Blake Lively cavorts on beach with Penn Badgley. And one of them is wearing a bikini, but we won't spoil it and tell you which! (F-Listed)
May 14, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: "If I Was Cyclops and You Were Jean Grey"
Singer/asshole Ryan Adams goes to comic shop expressly for the purpose of fondling Mandy Moore. Nerds everywhere cut selves. (The Blemish) Tara Reid works a bikini, haters be damned. (Drunken Stepfather)
It's entirely possible that Tony Romo will never fumble with Jessica Simpson's footballs again. (Yeeeah!)
Celebrity Muppets. (Cityrag)
Kelly Brook is back together with your friend Billy Zane. (F-listed)
Lily Allen once sang that she wanted to see you smile. Today, the dream becomes reality as shots of her cliff-diving topless emerge. (Hollywood Tuna)
Some skintage flesh! Tricia Helfer nip slip circa 2007. Battlestar Galac-tit-ca. (Fatback)
The new cast of 90210 revealed! That one was for all of our under 12 and gay readers. (Bitten and Bound)
How I Met My Emo Lover, by Flashlee Simpson. (FemaleFirst)
Another kind of "bump" for Britney. (Daily Stab)
Shia La Beef on La Zit Cream. (Celebitchy)
When scabies met impetigo: a tender love story featuring Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty. (Seriously OMG WTF)
Amy Smart has a well-padded poon. (Taxi Driver)
May 05, 2008
Bai Ling Cranks It So That You May Spanks It
Now, we don't know what kind of movie these Crank 2 people think they're making here, but it looks like a pornographic movie to us! What with all the Amy Smart nip slips and underwear-flashing and such and such. For some reason, Bai Ling is also in the movie, and when it comes to not-so-surreptitiously flashing nippage, she's the undisputed champion. The Hulk Hogan of tit tips. The Joe Frazier of boob bullets. Not to be outdone, she lifted her shirt on set and waggled her junk around for cast, crew, and everyone to see. After the cut, see the nip pics. Try to ignore the fact that she's dressed like a slutty fourth grader.more »
May 02, 2008
Amy Smart: Non-Stop Titmaker
It appears that intrepid treasure hunters found their way to the X's on Amy Smart's breasts, dug, and unearthed the priceless booty beneath. Or the priceless boobies beneath. Or booty would also be appropriate in this case of these pictures straight from the filming of her movie Crank 2: High Voltage. Which, from the look of the pics, seems to be the tender coming-of-age story of a bare-tittied wench who buttfucks an ironically-mulletted man and then throws him over a car.
The plot thickens with nude Amy boob after the cut.
more »
April 02, 2008
Kids Choose Rihanna's Nipple
When it comes to the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, you can count on one or more of the following events:1. Tweens screeching louder than America's Next Top Model contestant during Tyra Mail Time
2. Someone gets slimed
3. An errant butthole or nipple jumps out to steal the show
Although it's doubtful that anything will top Lindsay Lohan's storied full ass flash of yore, Rihanna's come forth with a fine 2008 offering of a sliver of nippage nosing its way out of her bustier. After the cut, more of Rihanna's Tom Cruise hair . . . and areola (which thankfully appears to be unCruisian in color and circumference). more »
March 26, 2008
Scarlett Johansson Makes Up for Ugly Tattoo with Naked Boob
Once the soft, warm, globular paragon of feminine buxomosity, Scarlett Johansson has, as of late, been placed on the back burner due to the gossip world's present obsession with celebritites being pregnant with twins. But let us not forget Scarjo, who, long before Max and Emme, bore twins of her own. Twins made out of fatty tissue and nipples. Twins famously joggled by Isaac Mizrahi. Here are said twins (pssst! We're talkin' 'bout titties!!!) making a daring escape from the rayon prison that is her dress, from the movie A Good Woman (clip kinda NSFW):Scarlett Johansson Downblouse - video powered by Metacafe
Props to A Socialite's Life for the sweet Mr. Skin reference!
more »
February 14, 2008
Amy Smartly Pops Nip
In this age of futuristic doodads and mysterious yet useful technology, everything is "smart". Smart cars! Smart phones! Smart popcorn! And here's Amy Smart 10.5.1: Smart Amy Smart. After the cut, see what ensues when her smart nipple bursts forth out of her smart dress. Hint: it looks like a Smartie. more »
January 17, 2008
Eva Mendes: A Slippery Nipply
Nipple slips have become so commonplace that we are about to manufacture and market an entire line of jewelry based on the tit-spigot snafu. All of our lovely brooches will be in the shape of nipples--some pink, some brown, some large, some small--and made with 100% genuine Swarovski crystals. Pin them to your blouse and ensure that your nippo will always slippo, even when it's not! Our Bai Ling model is noticeable to all no matter where you pin it, and our Christina Aguilera version comes in two styles: 2001 Dirrty Pierced and 2008 Baby, the latter with "milk" droplets made out of real cultured pearls! After the cut, our newest addition: the Eva Mendes Areola! more »
December 12, 2007
Megan Fox And Lily Allen Trade Nip Slips
Megan Fox--she of the embarrassing tattoos and David Silver-defiled groin--has slipped a nip! Behold, the golden spigot of ambrosia flow! Bow down, serfs, to the sweet roseate disc of your reverie! Nip nip hooray! Also, Lily Allen does the same. Furthermore, observe the Fox pic at left, then take a gander at the Allen pic from right before her slip:
These two women obviously have a small thread, undetectable by the naked eye, that connects their tongues to their dresses. Tongue goes out, nips pop. Tongue goes out, nips pop.
more »
November 16, 2007
Amy Wino's Slippy Nip-o
When faced with a photograph of Amy Winehouse, there are far too many places that the eye can fall: the impeccable fashion sense, the neatly groomed coif, the super-classy naked-lady tattoos, the blood stains. So we'll forgive our bloggy associates for missing what appears to be Wino nipple. Who knows, maybe every other blogger in the webiverse noticed the peek of areola and didn't care/felt bad shitting on a chick who's dude is in the clink. But you know us, readers, we love nothing above nipples, not even dignity or compassion. So after the cut: Amy's booby. more »
October 10, 2007
Gimme More: Britney Spears In Various States of Semi-Dress
Guess what happened? Guess! Just guess. Bet you can't guess. Bet you bet you bet you. Okay okay okay, we're so excited, we'll just go ahead and tell you! BRITNEY SPEARS DID SOME STUFF! At this point, writing a Britney Spears story is like writing a Choose Your Own Adventure or perhaps a Mad Lib.Britney Spears left (name of L.A. hotel) on (day of week), and proceeded to drag her (adjective) (body part) to (name of coffee chain) for a (noun)acchino. While exiting her (name of car), she spread her (body part) and flashed her (body part). Her weave looked (adverb) (adjective). That Britney, she's so (adjective)!
After the cut, we put our Mad Lib to use and show you Brit's various sundry naked squishy pieces. more »
September 11, 2007
Mischa Barton Pops One Out for the Children
As her work on the harrowing, brilliant drama Finding t.A.T.u. comes to a close, Mischa Barton shows off what she's learned from filming. And that's how to be Russian and don a pleated plaid skirt while faux scissoring your bandmate. No, actually, we're just talking about nipples. Showin' 'em, you see. more »
August 20, 2007
Screw That Umbrella; Stand Under Rihanna's Boobs
Yesterday we thought that if we had to hear "Umbrella" one more damn time we would have to hunt down Rihanna and punch her straight on in the fivehead. Today she gives us boobies, and a possible hint of nip, so all is forgiven. Boobies are the true cure all. more »
July 26, 2007
My So-Called Nip
Here's something that might blow your mind--there is such a thing as "MTV Canada". That's right, our neighbors to the north have their very own version of MTV. We've not seen it but can only imagine that the only videos they have are by the Crash Test Dummies and Our Lady Peace, and their take on My Super Sweet Sixteen involves slightly petulant but still friendly young girls who yell, "Mom! You didn't get me the ultra deluxe chipper shredder??? Yer ruining my life, eh!" Oh, and Claire Danes's snoob, apparently. After the cut!
more »
July 16, 2007
Paris Hilton Votes and Slips Nip. We Vote for Nip Slips.
Forget all that crap you've heard about Paris Hilton getting special treatment while she was in jail. The real way you know that Paris is the superduper #1 most important person in the entire solar system is that she gets to vote for president of the United States whenever she feels like it. She could wake up on a Friday morning in January 2009 and decide that it was election day and that she was going to single-handedly kick the pres out of office. That's just how much power she really has. She can also celebrate Leap Day in August if she wants. Also powerful? Paris's nipple. See it after the cut. more »
Ashley Nipsdale
Because you are a dirty, disgusting pervert, you will love seeing your little sister's favorite Disney Channel star slip a big puffy nipple after the cut. Look at it for a good couple of minutes and then call your psychiatrist and tell her to clear her schedule. more »
July 12, 2007
Bai Ling's Nips: Once You Pop, You Can't Stop
Yesterday, we showed you a nipless nip slip. Honestly, that wasn't very fair. You see the phrase "nip slip", you expect nip. But there was video! We got excited! It was a new medium! Like when Andy Warhol discovered the 16mm Bolex camera. But you know, Warhol is still best known for his silkscreens, and we're still best known for posting still pictures of dame parts, so after the cut, see the real Bai Ling thing. In fact, you might call us the Andy Warhol of the nip slip. The Van Gogh of the cheek sneak. The Hieronymus Bosch of upskirts. The Tom Batiuk of vagina flashes. Funky Winkerbean rules! more »
July 11, 2007
Video Killed the Nipple Slip Star
Bai Ling has nipples that are positively charged magnets, and all the clothing she wears is similarly charged. This is the only explanation we have for the fact that her shirts and dresses seem to leap off her breasts to expose her thumblike nipples every single day of her sexy young life. It's nothing we haven't shown you before. But have we ever shown you Ling slipping nip on video? No, we have not, so please enjoy these glorious moving pictures (a talkie, even). The only problem is that TMZ blurred out the offending teat tip. Which is not a big deal, since you can mentally cut and paste the nip from here. Or you can physically print out a copy of that story, actually cut the nipple with scissors, take some Elmer's, and paste it onto the screen as you're watching the video. On second thought, yeah, do that.
more »
CNW Junk Drawer: Here Comes Trouble
Jumping on the Harry Potter fever bandwagon! Emma Watson holds up a pair of panties that state exactly what comes out of the wearer's anus. Helpful! (the Blemish) Nicole Richie's drunk driving trial has been postponed. D.A's office spokeswoman Jane Robison says, "The trial will not happen on Wednesday. Richie's attorney filed a motion... stating that their key witness, a drug expert, was unavailable for trial." The key witness is actually her fetus and will not be available for trial for six more months, when it will emerge from Nicole's tiny womb and state, "Ohhh yeah, THAT night. I was shit-wasted! Duuuude!" (IMDb/WENN)
Courtney Love gets a new man, and her fourteenth new face. (ONTD)
Beyonce Knowles, aka RoboHo, slipped some RoboHootage. (Cityrag)
Sophia Bush in short shorts. That's right, friends. BUSH IN SHORT SHORTS. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (Egotastic!)
Denise Richards, arguably one of the world's most desirable women, has been forced to try a dating service. Meanwhile, her ex-husband, he of the drug-taking and hooker-fucking and "I hope you fucking die, bitch"-ing, is blissfully engaged! (Socialite's Life)
Toni Collette's nonstop portrayal of pregnant ladies has permeated her real life. (Glitterati Gossip)
Britney is headed for another breakdown. She strips down to her bra, dances to her own music, flirts with married man, drinks like a fish, and, craziest of all, actually wears shoes into a public restroom! (I Don't Like You In That Way)
Tennis pro Venus Williams serves up some nip. Oh ho, that's rich! (Taxi Driver)
June 26, 2007
Britney Spears: What a Boob.
Tentatively, the sumo wrestler pokes his head out from behind the curtain, surveying the scene. It had been a long, arduous year of training. The late nights spent stuffing his face with the most caloric of convenience foods in a bid to pack powerful bulk onto his frame. The torturous extensions woven into his hair, pulled and teased into the traditional topknot. Being forced to wear the uniform of saggy, baggy, flesh-baring cloth day in and day out. The graceless stomping, the humorless expression, the barely-controlled anger. Is it safe to come out? Is it safe to move three inches past that curtain and show the world what lurks behind its precarious folds . . . ? more »
June 18, 2007
God. Just Put It Away Already, Britney.
Dear Britney Spears,Please do us a favor. Go to your closet and light a match. Make sure every piece of clothing you own is in there, and feel the liberation of watching it all burn. But be careful not to stand too close, as we hear that polyester hair smells particularly gnarly when it burns. Why do we wish for you to set your entire wardrobe ablaze, you ask? The reason is twofold. 1) To take your Wet Seal couture out of circulation for the good of humanity and 2) in the hope that if you walk around completely naked every single day the sight will eventually become commonplace to us and we will never again have to write about the twelve times a week when you "forgot" that your coochie or your titty or your booty wasn't properly covered. We're hoping for desensitization here.
Thank you,
Your friends at CelebNewsWire
(And in case this open letter wasn't as clear of intention as the one written by Candy Spelling, after the cut, nipple!) more »
June 13, 2007
Britney Has Many Things in Common with Tara Reid
Cause and effect was big in the second grade. An entire month was dedicated to it. Our Grinch-like teacher, Mrs. Pinder, spent hours outlining the idea. "Drinking milk is the CAUSE, healthy bones is the EFFECT," we dutifully wrote in our notebooks. And when the time came to take our CTBS tests, we cleaned the fuck UP on that section, so it is with some degree of expertise that we point out this new Britney Spears pic to your left. The cause is in her left hand. The effect is something you can see beginning to happen slightly above. After the NSFW cut, see what went down. more »
May 30, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: Stuff on My Lohan
Jessica Simpson dons dress with Venetian blind chestpiece. (Yeeeah!) Fun with Photoshop: "Stuff on My Lohan". Hee hee hee hee hee! (Cityrag)
Hollywood romance meets the Primetime weekend mystery: Brittany Murphy has awesome taste in men! (ICYDK)
Claire Danes and My So-Called Nip. (Taxi Driver)
Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias have broken up. It was all downhill after he chopped the Raisinette off his face. (Hollywood Tuna) UPDATE: They're still together, choco-krispie or no.
Eva Mendes admits that she had a swig or two of booze to calm her nerves before shooting a sex scene opposite Joaquin Phoenix. As a recovering alcoholic, he surely found the taste of Beam on the breath an intoxicating impetus to make the scene that much more authentically passionate. Man, was that too mean? (Derek Hail)
Lindsay's dad offers up some Christian advice whilst wearing a tank top. (GlossLip)
When you're faced with a daunting jail sentence after violating parole following a DUI, how to lift your spirits? Build-A-Bear Workshop, girlfriend! (Celebrity Puke)
May 22, 2007
Bai Ling Nipple Slip, Again for the Very First Time
It's back. Like the warm, comforting touch of an old friend's hand on your shoulder. Turn around, and it's always there for you. When the guy from WKRP molested Dudley, it was there with a kind word and a counselor referral. When the Ricker was having girl trouble, it was there to encourage him to call the radio station and request Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings" to woo her back. That time Blanche went through menopause and was concerned her sexiness and worth as a woman would be dashed forever, it was there with cheesecake and a group hug in the kitchen. It is Bai Ling's nipple, and it is as steadfast and true as a trusty steed, as comfortable as an old pair of slippers, as reliable as a toilet plunger. Which, coincidentally, it rather resembles. After the cut! more »
May 04, 2007
Kate Leaks Great Teat Tip
CelebNewsWire has hit upon a theme this week (some may call it a rut; we prefer to think of it as being consistent) and will now officially be changing our name to KateBosworthNewsWire. We hope this doesn't cause too much confusion, but in the case that it does, calm your tumult with pictures of nip. After the cut. more »
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