CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: Nicky Hilton

January 22, 2008

Two Hiltons and a Wall-humping Eggert: The Less Cinematic Side of Sundance
paris and nicky hilton fondle in limo.jpg You might think a film festival is somewhere that people go in order to watch movies, but you'd be wrong. God, you're such a fucking moron, aren't you? People go to film festivals to get free shit they could easily afford and party-as-a-verb. At least if your last name is Hilton, anyway. Page Six brings us the haps on Sundance, and Mr. Skin brings us the funbags on film, after the cut. more »
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October 29, 2007

Halloween Hooker Wrap-Up: A Bunch of Tricks
paris_sailor.jpgParis went for the natural look for Halloween. I.e., she's in her natural state. I.e. coated in white seamen.

After the cut, eyeball more Paris and other celebrity "slutty _____" costumes! more »
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June 08, 2007

Paris Eats In-N-Out . . . Also, In-N-Out of Jail
paris_hilton_raise-roof.jpgParis Paris Paris. Paris Paris? Paris Paris, Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris; Paris Paris. Paris! Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris--ParisParisParisParisParisParisParisParisParisParisParis ughgghhghghhghgghh STAB STAB STAB. At this point we could lose our sight and hearing like that dude in the Metallica video and we'd still have to hear about m.f. Paris Hilton every g.d. second. People would come to our bedside and spell out Paris gossip into our hands like we were Helen Keller. Here are today's updates:

• The L.A. County Sheriff, L.A. County Supervisor, and, uh, Al Sharpton are all ticked off that Paris was released early, bringing up the point that she was given obvious preferential treatment due to her race and wealth and pouty, kissable lips.

• Oh, that medical condition that was the cause of her release? It was called "Paris was sad." Her psychiatrist said that she was in a "fragile" mental state. Yeah, this is Paris Hilton, she isn't exactly known for brains made of Wheaties and steel.

• She has to reappear in court this morning in person. The details of her release will be reviewed and she may be ordered to return to prison. After 24 hours whiffing the sweet scent of freedom, that will be a bitter pill to swallow. Haw haw.

• And, most importantly, Paris's sister Nicky brought her some In-N-Out yesterday. Did she go for the Double Double or the 3x3? We need to know. So hungry.

• EXCITING UPDATE: Paris is headed back to the clink. What a world! What a world we live in!
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April 24, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Jonathan Rhyshab Meyers
scarjj.jpg• They try to make me wear a tee-shirt, I said, no, no, no. (Egotastic!)

• They tried to make Jonathan go to Rhyshab, he said, no, no, n--well, okay. (Female First)

• John Krasinski from The Office and Renιe Zellweger? OK, that sounds fine, carry on. (I'm Not Obsessed)

• Scarlett Johansson's handsome jumblies are SNL's new Hans and Franz. Because they'll pump (clap) you up. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Scary Spice's daughter is not named Fortuna, as previously reported. She's Angel Iris Murphy Brown. Because everybody loves Candice Bergen! (D Listed)

• Morgan Fairchild: she's still got (t)it! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Some rich Russian guy wants to pay Jennifer Lopez $2 million dollars to sing at a party. Little does he know that stateside, a J. Lo warbling usually goes for around $36.99 and a half a pack of Fruit Stripe. (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)

• It's been a few weeks since we've dipped our chalice into the lusty lake that is Jessica Biel's rotund squatter. Let's do. (Yeeeah!)

• Speaking of asses, here's Nicky Hilton's. She does not share her sister's unfortunate goiteresque gluteal growth. (Taxi Driver)

• Hilary Duff strokes a thick, wrinkled, fleshy tube. (Popoholic)

• Suri Cruise hits the party circuit. (Bricks and Stones)
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March 21, 2007

Scarlett, Rose, Nicky, and Janice Put in Qualifying Bids for the Flash-a-Lympics
scarjo cleavey.jpg Did someone declare today official poons 'n' pontoons day and forget to tell us? Because in our morning search for our Sexy Lady Story, we were barraged with upskirts, side boobs, see-throughs, anything that's hot but doesn't constitute actual nudity. It's as if all of Hollywood saw Lindsay Lohan's brave reveal of hose-clad clam and partial yam in one day and said, "Damn bitch, I can top that. Get a load of this!" After the cut, get a gander at the ladies' best efforts. more »
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February 28, 2007

Kimbo Stewart FHM's Most Eligible Bachelorette. Must Look up Definition of "Eligible Bachelorette"
kimbo thong.jpg When you imagine which young, single, hot girl you would most like to share your dangly bits with, names like Jessica (either Alba or Biel will do) or Scarlett might come to mind. But in the FHM offices they want nothing more than to drive their collective Downtown Train into Kimbo Stewart. Hey, Joe Francis did declare her a better fuck than Tara Reid. That's something, right? more »
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October 17, 2006

Lock Your Doors, Another Hilton Sister on the Loose
About once every three months or so Nicky Hilton begs big sis Paris to lie low for a couple days, go for a series of colonics at that nice spa in Palm Springs or fall off a table while she's dancing so she has to have a bit of bed rest, so that Nicky can nab a little piece of the Hilton press pie, in order to sell Tweety-bird themed clothing or a hotel or cowboy hats with Nicky spelled out in rhinestones or some such crap. This time around Nick's using her Paris-free day for a little break-up publicity. more »
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September 26, 2006

Overgrown Oil Heir Tests "Fighting Irish" Stereotype; Loses
Revelling in other people's misfortune is our mιtier, and revelling in the misfortune of the undeservedly wealthy and egregiously vile is our specialty-within-our-specialty. So today has been a particularly happy day around the CNW offices after hearing about Kevin Connolly repeatedly slugging bloated moneybags Brandon Davis last week. Nothing like a ninny getting his just desserts. And if there's anything Brandon Davis loves, it's desserts! more »
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August 02, 2006

At Least He Wasn't Defending Paris's Honor; That Would've Taken Awhile
An Entourage cast member got uppity at a club recently and started a fight with the DJ. We know what you're thinking, and, nope, it wasn't Piven. It wasn't Adrian Grenier or Matt Dillon's brother either. Turtle? He's got some heft. Nope? God, then who's left? Mandy Moore? It has to be Mandy Moore. Wait, you're saying it was Kevin Connolly? Eric? He looks like he couldn't even take Jermaine Dupri or a really quick-witted Ewok. Yeah, we know that last sentence was a bit redundant, but we couldn't think of another thing that was really really small and scrappy. more »
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February 01, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: "Dressing Like a 5p Hooker."
• Kelly Osbourne thinks Paris Hilton inspires parents to dress their children like hookers. Would she rather the children of the world take fashion cues from her?


• Is Liz Hurley all knocked up again? Does anyone care?

• Nicky Hilton calls Mischa Barton a "fat pig". Huh. Maybe she meant "stuck pig"?

• Remember those Lisa Loeb thong shots we showed you yesterday? Of course you do. Well, now you can see those pictures move! It's called "the talkies", which translates to "motile ass".

• Jodie "Stephanie Tanner" Sweetin was a meth head, but she's since Cut! It! Out!

• Oh, speaking of thongs, flash leads to a see-through dress in Alyssa Milanoland.

• Egotastic!'s got the poop scoop on what's really going down betwixt Sienna Miller and Darth Vader. It's considerably less sexy than previously thought.

• Tyra Banks rocks the pit stubble. Fierce!!!

• Quote of the year: "If you're going to be raped in a movie, it may as well be Vincent Cassel." Oh, Jennifer Aniston, you are so terribly high-larious.

• Oh yeah, Oscar nominees.

• Tom Cruise's next potential film project will be a "contemporary romance". We have a good idea for a romantic film! Boy divorces girl, elders at boy's cult pay new girl to perpetrate like she's dating boy, boy jumps on furniture, cult elders impregnate girl with mythical animal-human hybrid, and . . . aw, never mind. Nobody would buy it.
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January 16, 2006

Paris Hilton: Like Mother, Like Daughter
When our sweet lord Jesus returns to Earth and the heathens are cast into a boiling lake of habanero-infused diarrhea while awesome people like us rise into a kitten and bunny-filled heaven where we will start a band with Keith Moon's corpse, there will be an epic in the battle of the creepily MILFy stage mothers. Manicured talons will fly, weaves will be ripped out, they will stab each other to the death with loaded Botox syringes. Dina Lohan and Tina Simpson will lose and one mother will rise head and naked breastices above the rest, victorious: Kathy Hilton. You don't believe us? Well! Somebody obviously doesn't know their Bible! It is written. more »
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January 10, 2006

Paris Has a Boobysitter
Despite what your uproarious novelty T-shirt might claim, you are not a licensed bikini inspector. Sadly, such a position does not exist, although it seems one might have a shot at becoming a Paris Hilton boob wrangler. more »
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December 27, 2005

Holiday Boob Round-up
It's the week between Christmas and New Year's, when it seems that only about 10% of Americans are working (and if our British gossip site oracles are any indication, all of England is asleep in their figgy puddings right now) and we can't see past our bulging gut thanks to that leftover batch of Santa-shaped sugar cookies we scarfed down for breakfast, so we weren't expecting much from the gossip world today. Of course we had forgotten that during the holiday season celebrities spend time lounging in tropical locales donning very little clothing. So today we're collecting more celebrity breast meat than you can shake your stick at. Happy Holidays! more »
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December 14, 2005

CNW Junk Drawer: Desperate Housewhite
• Despite wasting away from Exhaustion, Colin Farrell somehow musters up the strength to swing one feeble, Irish fist and "fight off" the rumors that he OD'ed.

• Orlando Bloom is tactless. And Gwyneth Paltrow is heavy with baby, for real though.

• Die Hiltons!

• Die Hiltons stuff Santa's stocking with hard nipples and thongs, that is.

• And Heather Locklear says, "Hard nips? I'll show you hard nips, bitches. I was busting out the party hats before you were out of Luvs."

• Rod Stewart swears that his marriage to Penny Lancaster will last the rest of his life. The old guy's got about 6 good years left in him, so we'd say that's doable.

• Eva Longoria is a jolly clown.

• When the rich are launched into space, and aliens finally meet delegates of Earth, the first face upon which they will lay their cold, shiny black eyes will be that of . . . Victoria Principal?

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December 01, 2005

Nicky/Nicole Commingling Sets off Naomi Campbell Crazy Alarm
When was the last time you gave a passing thought to Naomi Campbell? That time that she threw a phone at someone? Or that other time she threw a phone at someone? Or when Russell Crowe threw a phone at someone did you stop and think of her? See, the problem with Naomi Campbell is that she takes out her aggression on the un-famous. We don't really care about her scratching her personal assistant's corneas with a diamond ring or stuffing dirty gym socks down her throat because we just can't visualize it. We like our Naomi Campbell assault victims to have a face. Like Nicole Richie. more »
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November 10, 2004

Less Trampy Yet Just-As-Rich Hilton Sister Back on the Market
Hotel heiress and sister to Paris Nicky Hilton has been granted an annulment from her quickie marriage to New York businessman Todd Meister. Sigh. If those two crazy kids can't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us? more »
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