filed under: Nick Cannon

Most people feel a little bit gypped by weddings. You buy some new clothes, a big black-and-white box from Crate & Barrel, spend an entire day "celebrating love" or some crap, and then another day holding an ice pack to your throbbing head. Plus, you'll likely have to see someone's fat Uncle Bob attempt to cabbage patch during a Will Smith song. If it weren't for the cake and the hope of an open bar, nobody would put up with them. So are Mariah Carey's moneybags comrades getting off easy by being coaxed to send Wedgewood and Waterford without getting some roast beef and lemon chiffon cake first? Page Six dishes on Mimi's gift fishing:

MARIAH Carey's friends and colleagues weren't invited to her impromptu wedding to Nick Cannon, but they can still send a gift. According to an insider, "Mariah's assistant, Gina, sent out over 100 e-mails to her wealthy friends letting them know that she's registered at Bergdorf Goodman if they want to buy her a present. It's odd because she's not even having a big wedding party or anything. It was assumed they'd have a big celebration when they got back, but no. They just want the gifts." On the list are "fine china, very expensive silver stemware" and other items. Carey's rep declined to comment.

We understand the inclusion of stemware on the registry, as we're sure that Mariah loves a tipple, but china? What ever could that be used for? A nice game a Frisbee in the 500-square-foot master shower? A possible weapon in case Nick gets uppity and wants Mimi to watch something "scary" and "manly" like Rambo in the in-house deluxe screening room? Because we're pretty sure they're not for when Mariah invites the Beckhams or the Trumps over for a nice home-cooked meal of lasagna and garlic bread. We're pretty sure that Mimi only eats pesticide-free julienned tree bark at this point. She probably heard that it contains negative calories and will completely eliminate cellulite. more »

• Megan Fox takes "next Angelina Jolie" title literally, gets lipplants. (ONTD)

• Elisha Cuthbert stalks the sandy landscape in a bikini; cuddles muscular male; gets handsy with own buttocks. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's wedding photos will be in People. And they talk about being "soul mates". Even though they've known each other for six weeks. (Celebitchy)

• What mysterious pull do these Maddens have? Lindsay Lohan was busted trying to pick up Joel (that's Nicole Richie's Madden, not Paris Hilton's Madden) at a club the other night. There's not enough Maddens to go around. (Yeeeah!)

• Angelina Jolie is reportedly going to have twin girls. They'll have their mother's looks and their father's . . . looks. They can't go wrong! (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Amy Winehouse is slowly devolving from soulful songstress to drunken party girl to crackhead to missing link to ape. Photographic evidence exists. (Holy Taco)

• Uma Thurman's name begins with a "u". So does the word "upskirt". Aaaand that's the closest we cam come to a joke here. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• In other Lohan news, she's still stealing clothing from her friends. Because when girls' daddies don't love them, the fill up their hearts with pilfered fur. (The Blemish)

• Blake Lively may play a high schooler on Gossip Girl, but that rack is alllll freshman year at a state U, baby. (Fatback)

• Jessica Simpson must, she must, she must increase her bust. (Cityrag)

• Post-birth, Halle has some Berry nice cleavage. We knew our childhood obsession with Strawberry Shortcake speak would come in handy some day! (Flisted)

When your worldly assets amount to about $87, a cupboard full of Rice-a-Roni, and some broken IKEA furniture, it's hard to understand the need for a pre-nup, but celebrities aren't like us; the poorer of the pair (read: still richer than you'll ever dream of being) usually gets a pretty sweet salary from the deal. After all, it is business. It was rumored last week that Mariah Carey's hasty marriage didn't include the all-important monetary contracts, but FOX News thinks differently:

Miss Mariah and Mr. Cannon have a very nice prenuptial agreement.

Mariah apparently told a mutual pal of ours: "Anyone who thinks we didn't have a prenup is smoking something!"

This is not the Mariah Carey of old. She is a smart, smart businesswoman. For example: Post-Tommy Mottola, Carey nabbed $50 million from her short-lived deal with Virgin Records. After "Glitter," they just paid her all that to walk away!

She’s had three hit albums since then: "Charmbracelet," "Emancipation of Mimi" and the current "E=MC2." She has her own perfume line, as well. Mariah also has substantial real estate holdings, and let’s not forget the publishing royalties. Her name is on every song. This is not Whitney. She has a small fortune, and she’s not about to lose it, even in love.

You're probably thinking, "Of course they have a pre-nup. She's loaded and he's only a misstep or two away from starring in Safe Auto commercials for the rest of his career. What happens when both parties have mountains and mountains of money, like Jay-Z and Beyonce?" Lucky for you, The National Enquirer can answer that (via Celebitchy):

“The prenup calls for Jay-Z to pay Beyonce $10 million if the marriage ends after two years, and $1 million dollars a year for each further year she remains in the marriage, up to 15 years,” revealed a source familiar with the deal.

“If they do split, he’s promised to pony up $10 million to buy her a home.

“He’s promised to pay her an additional $5 million for each child she bears him - for her ‘loss of income’ during the pregnancy and child-rearing years.”

$5 mil for each baby? That's a pretty sweet deal. We wonder if there's any sort of twin clause in the pre-nup. Maybe twins are like a triple-word score and she'd net $15 mil for the set. Twins are the newest Hollywood trend, and that Hova likes to be on top of the latest fads.

Yesterday we heard that Mariah Carey was engaged to famous-for-something-or-other young'n Nick Cannon. Then we heard they were actually already married. But maybe they weren't. And Mariah's ring was recycled from Nick's last till-death-(or-someone-hotter)-do-us-part moment. But then again maybe it just looked a hell of a lot like that ring. We are so confused. Why can't all celebrities be as up front about their possible nuptials as Star Jones was? That whole privacy thing is way overrated anyway, and we're pretty sure that not every celeb who whores out their wedding to OK! or People ends up divorcing their super-gay husband a couple of years later. That was probably a fluke and not a curse. First up, was there a wedding? Was it a sham? MSNBC weighs in:

There’s a ring and rumors of a small ceremony, but is there really a marriage between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon? Maybe not, said a source who knows Mariah.

“The lady loves publicity. She’s also got a good sense of humor. If no one gets hurt, why wouldn’t she let the rumors swirl a little while longer and maybe help sales?” said the source.

And the pair's families can't quite get their stories straight either. Take it away TMZ:

Exhibit A: Mariah's nephew says not very cryptically on his Facebook page, as Us reports, that "what you may or may not have read or heard is not true," even though he says he was in the Bahamas. Exhibit B: Nick's fam "confirms" the "news," claiming that he told them he's married.

And if they are married, it looks like Mimi didn't learn any lessons from Paul McCartney, reports The New York Post:

"There was no pre-nup - there wasn't time," said another worried source.

And because we know that all you're really interested in is what the kids in 1890 referred to as "bling," on to the jewelery, via People:

The ring, jeweler Jacob & Co. confirmed to PEOPLE, is crafted from platinum and features a square, emerald-cut fancy light pink diamond in the center, surrounded by 58 intense pink diamonds, flanked by two half-moon diamonds. The total carat weight of the ring – the center stone alone is 10 carats – is a jaw-dropping 17 carats, with a value of $2.5 million.

Though some have speculated that Carey's ring is the same one Cannon gave to his former fiancée, Victoria's Secret model Seltia Ebanks, Ebanks's ring was 12 carats and made of colorless diamonds.

If that's the case, then Nick Cannon is about as creative as Nickelback, because those suckers sure look an awful lot a like. (See, 'cause Nickelback has been writing the same song for ten years, and Nick Cannon . . . designed the . . . same ring . . . twice? Oh, shut up. You come up with a better joke, tough guy. We bet it would go a little something like this: "Mariah and married both start with the letter M. And M's kind of look like boobs. HAHAHAHA!" Good job, Mr. Comedian.)

NOTE: The man in the above photo with Mimi is NOT Nick Cannon, though this whole story would be a hell of a lot more interesting if Mariah were possibly married to a homeless man in a wheelchair. Sorry, Nick, but you're super boring in comparison. And in general too. more »

Our Mimi is going to be a bride! And this time she won't be marrying a creepy old rich dude who will make her a star but keep her in a very glittery cage but instead a young upstart of unknown financial means! The upside to Mariah having to forfeit some of her cherished closet space? We took this chance to look up Nick Cannon on Wikipedia and finally know why he's famous. He was on All That! Just like that guy on SNL. And the other one. Anyway, Access Hollywood reports:

It appears Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are ready to make beautiful music together.

A source close to Mariah has confirmed to Access Hollywood that the music diva is engaged to Nick Cannon.

Reps for both singers were unavailable for comment.

The couple sent the rumor mill into overdrive when 38-year-old Mariah (with Nick on her arm) was seen sporting a dazzling new piece of bling on her ring finger at the after party for her Tribeca film, “Tennessee,” in New York.

When asked at the party what he loved about Mariah, 27-year-old Nick gave a one-word answer.

“Everything,” he told People.

Up until recently, Mariah had been romantically linked to music executive Mark Sudack. However, she never confirmed the romance.

Mariah was previously married to record executive Tommy Mottola from 1993 – 1998.

Nick was previously engaged to Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks in 2007. However, the couple called off the engagement that same year.

This will be the first marriage for the “Drumline” star.

We can picture it now: Mariah will be swathed in a yard or so of the finest fabric known to man, surrounded by rare purple orchids, and after the couple's first marital kiss, a million fluttering butterflies will swarm around them. Then the butterflies will eat Nick alive for stealing their master. Either that, or Nick will just use all the crap he bought for his canceled wedding. According to Hollywood Grind:

Mariah’s engagement ring was previously on Nick’s former fiance’s finger, Vctoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, in 2007. Same ring, different girl. Nick doesn’t want his investment going to waste.

We doubt Mariah ever even wears her clothes twice, and those were on her body. She will not be pleased with a ring that touched the skin of some sub-semi-famous underwear model. more »