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filed under: MySpace

November 17, 2008

A Side of Lohan, Covered In a Delicate Breading

lindsay_lohan_flour_x17.jpgAnti-fur activists usually throw ketchup, don't they? Well, it seems that when Lindsay Lohan in involved, they throw flour. Mix 'em together and you have a fetching pinkish paste that can be used to wrangle and glue runaway boobs into low-cut dresses. Or as denture paste. CelebWarship lays it down:
Lindsay Lohan received an unwelcomed surprise while partying in Paris on Saturday: a bag of flour poured over head. An animal rights activist became enraged after spotting Lindsay leaving a nightclub while wearing a black fur stole. As Samantha Ronson looked on, the activist dumped a bag over flour over Lindsay’s head while shouting “fur hag!”

PETA might have been pleased with the flour-dumping, but Samantha was pissed. The DJ chastised the activist via her Myspace blog.

“I’m pissed at the bag of flour thrown on Lindsay last night. Not because I got powdered down, but because the girl who threw it acted like an animal herself. I take that back, it’s an insult to animals to group her in with them, my dog is FAR more civilized than that person. I think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. Nice job, lady.”
Sam should relax. Being doused in a giant bag of white powder is Lindsay's ultimate dream come true.

(Pic via X17) more »
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October 06, 2008

Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Threaten to Twitter the Living Crap Out of Each Other

paris_lindsay.jpg For years now, MySpace has been the preferred arena of celebrities for their wars of words. Don't forget the epic cyber-smackdown issued upon Paris and Lindsay by Shanna Moakler lo, so many years ago. But times and technology are changing, and our celebrities are growing up. So it's only fitting that they would outgrow MySpace blog taunts and move their battles to a more mature medium. Facebook! According to our own personal gossip social networking site, Female First:
Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are embroiled in a foul-mouthed internet fight. The pair - who were once friends - have been trading insults on popular social networking site Facebook.

'Mean Girls' star Lindsay branded the hotel heiress a "bitch" and "pathetic" before launching a four-letter tirade after Paris had set up a group on the site called 'Firecrotch', referring to the actress' red hair.

But Paris hit back, saying it was her who was the pathetic one because she has set up a Facebook group about her first called 'Paris Wets Herself', which refers to a couple of incidents where the 27-year-old blonde is said to have urinated in a sauna and in the back of a taxi cab.
Although creating nasty groups is a nice touch, there are so many more appropriate Facebook applications via which a pair of disgruntled celebs could vent their disgust. "FIrecrotch" pieces of flair. Endless werewolf attacks. A battle royale using Scramble. Superpokin' till they bleed. more »
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August 28, 2008

MySpace Fiiiiiggggght!

lindsay_lohan-samantha-ronson.jpgIn the old days, people would settle arguments by having a pistol duel at dawn. Or falling upon one's own sword to preserve their honor. Or making like Justin Timberlake and having a dance-off. These days, lugers and the pachanga have been replaced by a bloody battle of words in an arena known by all. An arena called MySpace. Lindsay Lohan and her labe-loving lady friend, Samantha Ronson, both angrily sat behind the keyboard and bashed out responses to Papa Michael Lohan's trash talk of Sam. Lindsay wrote:
If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that’s what i have believed my whole life- don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going…

If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.
Samantha also got charged up and wrote this on her blog:
i really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words... so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life- i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him. p.s. i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living.... i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else....so I think it's safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all..... written by me..... when does your book come out mr. lohan?
So what happens after a MySpace war of words? How does one take it to the next cyberlevel after a blog tar and feathering? Will Michael hack Sam's page and insert a picture of her with the words "STUPID! LAME! JERK!" in MS Paint and an arrow pointing to her head? Will Lindsay give his email address to Nigerian princes and Cialis salesmen? Or will they take their battle international and sign up for Orkut accounts? more »
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March 07, 2008

Jessica Simpson Not Treated Like the Major Movie Star She Thinks She Is

jessica simpson camouflage major movie star.jpg Say you're a movie executive with the Sisyphean task of making money off of a Jessica Simpson joint. You've failed to attract costars of a high caliber, settling on Steve Guttenburg and Vivca A. Fox, and you have the colossal failure of Blonde Ambition staring you in the face, mocking you with chants of "I ruined the careers of at least eighteen people. A couple of them are now working at the In-N-Out on Sunset. What makes you think you're any better?" What ever will you do? Let's see, the movie's about a pampered star who is humbled by a turn in the military. Why not send Jessica to Kuwait on a USO tour and make her sleep in bunk beds with a troupe of female impersonators swathed in black lace? That'll surely sell a couple of hundred tickets at the least, right? Page Six dishes:
WE hope Jessica Simpson doesn't mind shacking up in bunk beds. When the primped and heeled Simpson leaves for Kuwait today with the Pussycat Dolls, we're told the whole crew will be ditching their usual hotel rooms and limos for sleeping bags and bunks. "Jessica will be roughing it," said a source. "They're receiving no special treatment." Simpson, along with the Dolls, the band Disturbed and comic Carlos Mencia, will perform for troops Monday. The show will air live on MySpace.com.
Man, the U.S. military sure has it bad in 2008. During World War II troops were entertained by STARS! They got Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland, The Marx Brothers, Lucille Ball. And today's troops get some blonde reality-TV star, a bunch of fake women, a creepily pierced metal yodeler, and some guy who stole a bunch of jokes from Bill Cosby. Being a soldier these days really is a thankless job.
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July 20, 2007

Courtney Love Good Write Word Stuff

courtney love gross stomach.jpg Did you wake up this morning thinking, "Crap, I got so wrapped up in in reading Jordan's novel Crystal last night that I forgot to go out and get drunk. How am I ever going to make it through a Friday at work without a hangover?" Why don't you spend the next half hour trying to read Courtney Love's MySpace blog? Although that strategy may backfire and cause your distraught and befuddled brain to shut down for good. You'd probably still be able to spell better than Courtney, though. Here's an excerpt, in which she talks about how much better she is as a musician than Gwen Stefani:
we were doing our hair( thew girls) way up in that ugly crazy building and couyld seeyou all for blocks, it was wild-= i told my peeps top go get bvoys wiuth skateboards and giurls whow ere into stefani, no offense to truyew fans i just felt like a challenge- if someone sreally into stefani to me that says they dontw anta nty trouble in thoe rlives, want very mucbh to be p[opular abnd accepted, wnatto be trendy but niot dangerous, and the idea of forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./plus im startinga clotyhing line this year too, just higher end and the lowerr end wont be about a font. i wouldbnt do that iu fond that crass somehow= a sportsac ten times the prio ce because it has ther same cuddle bear sweeetoe pie sign off that Rossdale used to sign hios letters to me with in a Times Courier font ? maybve its me, i know perfeume has a 800 -1200% profit markup so if one "brands" oneself well enough one can cash it in big an d hard by selling a perfume wethe rone gioves a shot about the smell opr not- kudos to madge for forgoinmg that , because nop way hads she not been asked. L.A.M.B. heh, well look its not fo rme to judge- im far mior eonteretsed in amazin g lingerie enyways and if i design a bag itll be fabulous
Oooh, Courtney, you so bad! You're so outside the mainstream, and your songs are so challenging to the establishment. Bad grammar really is the ultimate rebellion, right above painting your fingernails black and saying fuck a lot. OG riot grrrrl 1993!
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July 11, 2007

LiLo Lesbo Leak-o, Uh Oh

lilo and sam 3.jpg We recently reported that Lindsay Lohan was having a hard time detoxing from the dick in rehab, but apparently she's also having some hardcore poon withdrawal. According to the New York Daily News:
It appears that a "pal" has shopped poor Lindsay Lohan's private rehab musings to the press.

The recovering star used MySpace to stay in touch with friends while being treated at Promises in Malibu. Star magazine reports in its next issue that Lohan has 75 friends with access to her private MySpace area, including Lauren Conrad, Nicole Richie and kid sister Ali.

Apparently one of those 75 gave the magazine access to "heated" exchanges between Lohan and her openly gay deejay pal, Samantha Ronson. Details of the affectionate correspondence appear under the headline, "Lindsay's Lesbian Love Letters!"

Lohan allegedly tells Ronson: "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die. ... I want to marry you and have children with you."

Apparently Lindsay isn't fussy about who changes her name.

"Go to bed babe," she wrote to her pal late one night.

"I love you. - [signed] Lindsay Ronson."
Until now we weren't quite sure what Lindsay's life would hold once she (finally) leaves rehab. Would an innocent-looking Paris Hilton fetch Lindsay a bottle of Perrier from the Hyde bar and secretly lace it with some sort of potent instantly addicting space-age narcotic, assuring Lindsay's further downward spiral and Paris's continued tabloid dominance? Would LiLo snap the next time she found Dina rummaging through her Birkin in search of a stray hundred bucks and push Mama out the window, resulting in a life-long jail sentence? No, it seems that Lindsay's future is as the heir to Rosie O'Donnell, with Samantha playing the part of Mrs. Rosie, whatever her name is. Lindsay will butch up her haircut, start a ranting video blog, adopt a brood of kiddies, and host a cruise for recovering-addict lesbians and their supportive families. That, or the couple will star in a live-action update of Lilo & Stitch called LiLo & Sam.
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May 04, 2007

Q-List Celebrity MySpace Feud! Yea!

haylie duff motorhead.jpg Two people you have never seen in a movie, television program, commercial, magazine spread, bus-bench ad, or You Tube video are feuding. You have also never heard them sing a song. Nor have you read their books or hard-hitting journalistic pieces on Darfur or the dangers of lead paint. This, my friends, is what we like to call a slow news day. So if you wish to hear an endless debate consisting of "Paris Hilton is my friend. Therefore I'm important," and "Hilary Duff is my sister. And sister trumps friend. I am more important," then proceed to IDLYITW and witness the MySpace bickering between Kim Kardashian and Haylie Duff. It's better than watching a double-header of Material Girls and Kim Kardashian Superstar . . . Featuring Hip Hop Star Ray J, if only because Kim calls Haylie a horse. Neigh.
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April 23, 2007

Shanna Moakler Fights Like a Recluse: Under Cover of MySpace

shanna moakler.jpg We've never really paid much attention to Shanna Moakler. That would kind of be like following the career of the girl who won the Hawaiian Tropic contest you saw when you were on spring break junior year. And while we do occasionally see Miss Hawaiian Tropic during our important business meetings with important men with briefcases at Hooters, we're not really watching to see what her next move is, employment wise. Shanna, however, is making it hard to resist her at the moment by trying to piss off Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. And we do follow the "career" of Paris and firmly believe that her next DVD hit will be Paris and Shanna Showdown: Cage Fight to the Death, hitting stores January '08. We're really not sure who we'll be pulling for. more »
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April 19, 2007

Lindsay Lohan's MySpace Just Like Your Little Sister's

lindsay and paris in underwear.jpg First of all, we'd like to say that we think that the hacking of Lindsay Lohan's supposed private MySpace is complete bullshit. But reading messages (even if they are fake) between Lindsay and Paris Hilton where they hurl eighth-grade insults at each other is a better source of drama than Molière. Or whoever smart people name drop when they want to sound smart. more »
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November 28, 2006

"Tasty Former Stylist Skewers" the Closest Nicole Richie Gets to Food

We better watch our backs and our Moveable Type--Nicole Richie is getting into the gossip game. More specifically, she is getting into the blind item game, as evidenced by this little number she penned and left on her MySpace blog:
What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist? HINT: Her nickname is lettucecup...

While it doesn't assault the eyes and mind with the verbal gymnastics of a Ted Casablancas, this ain't a bad first effort, especially "raisin face" and "lettucecup". But if we were Nicole, we would have taken--nay, relished--the opportunity to write "74-year-old" instead of "35", or whatever Ms. Zoe's true age might actually be. more »
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November 21, 2006

After Showing Her Panties, Paris Gets Pukey

During a recent performance (following that Jay-Z offering we just told you about) Paris Hilton puked while on stage. And, no, that's not a euphemism for her vocal abilities. more »
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October 27, 2006

Thx 4 Tha Add, Jessica!

Jessica Simpson is reportedly addicted to flirting online, via a fake MySpace profile. Also, Jessica has met the man of her dreams on the networking site. He's knowledgable, prolific, All-American, and friendly. Although the pair have yet to meet "IRL", Jessica is confident that she's found The One in her new e-boyfriend . . . Tom! more »
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October 05, 2006

People You Don't Care About Are No Longer Porking

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up. And so have Nicole Richie and that one guy. He's like the son of some famous guy who, like, did the luge or synchronized swimming at the Olympics or something. He dated that girl from that show that's like The O.C. only "real"? C'mon, he's tall, has dark hair, wears shirts? You know the one. more »
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August 15, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: Two Princes

• Who wears short shorts? Jessica Simpson wears short shorts. Heyyyyy. Nice mons pubis.

Given the choice, Nick Lachey would rather be stuck on a desert island with Satan than with his supremely vile former father-in-law, Papa Joe Simpson. That makes 6 billion of us, Nick.

Kate Moss might as well face that she's addicted to Pete Doherty. She wishes she knew how to quit him. Brokecrack Mountain?

• Another Doherty--Shannen--angrily hung up on a Newsweek reporter after being asked about her fiery, Naomi-Campbell-like, fired-from-Spelling-shows days. God, you run over a boyfriend 15 years ago and you never hear the end of it!

• "Christina Milian" kind of rhymes with "this tiny little thong". Sorta.

• The divorce gets ugly: Travis Barker questions his estranged wife Shanna Moakler's parenting skills, booze intake, nail salon visits, and open-door vagina policy . . . on his MySpace blog! We can't wait until she hits back with a string of vitriolic friend comments and some extra-hot profile pics taken in the bathroom mirror.

Keith Urban, pre-tooth job looks an awful lot like Limahl of Kajagoogoo fame.

• Note to Nicole Richie: when size 000 bikini bottoms start to look like droopy adult sumo diapers, it might be time to try a cruller or something.

• One, two, princes kneel before you/thats what I said, now/princes, princes who adore you/just go ahead, now/William has a cosmo in his hand/that sounds great, now/Harry said he wants to honk your mam, now/aint in his head, now.
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