CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: movies

August 06, 2008

Britney Spears To Show Her Pussycat. No, Britney Spears To STAR IN Pussycat.

britney_spears_pouts_shiny.jpg By our count, Britney Spears should have starred in roughly 3,084 movies since Crossroads. Every month or two there's a new report about how Brit's in talks to star in a new outrageous film that will completely resurrect her career and make the whole world see her as a serious actress and responsible human being. Yet the only feature-length appearance the girl's made since 2002 was as the voice of a reindeer in a made-for-TV Christmas movie. So here's another pipe dream that will never happen. Only this time Brit will be a naked lesbian, so it's sexy! According to our own personal Russ Meyer, FemaleFirst:
Britney Spears is set to play a killer lesbian stripper in Quentin Tarantino's next movie.

The troubled singer is Tarantino's first choice to play a deranged dancer called Varla in the remake of 1965 cult film 'Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!'.

A movie insider said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant.

"Britney is delighted, she thinks it could turn her career and her life around. A successful film could help her get out of her current nightmare.

"It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."

In the film, Varla - who was originally played by Tura Satana - leads a trio of violent strippers and kills a man with her bare hands.

Tarantino is now trying to persuade two other leading Hollywood beauties to sign up.
Yeah, we totally believe this story. And then right after she's done filming the Faster Pussycat remake, she's also going to remake every Jenna Jameson movie and then reenact the Houston 500. more »
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July 31, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Slip n' Slide

marisa_miller_oil_slick.jpgMarisa Miller works the runway wearing the latest in swimwear and silicone/polymer based body oil. (F-listed)

Ali Lohan auditions for the director of Bun Sisters 12. (Yeeeah!)

Rihanna is easy, breezy, beautiful, unCovered Girl. In a see-through shirt. That shows nipple ring. (The Blemish)

Madonna is one step away from having Waylon Flowers's hand up her ass. (Cityrag)

• A touching, moving photo montage of Kristen Bell in her pantaloons. (Holy Taco)

• You can't beat Jessica Simpson! No, seriously. Don't beat her; that's mean. (Daily Stab)

• Superbad's Emma Stone is supercute. (Fatback)

Amanda Bynes is Nickelodeyummy in butt-stranglingly tight workout gear. (Drunken Stepfather)

• John Mayer will be the godfather of the SimpsWentz spawn. He will teach it to land hot chicks and make the most heinous guitar faces ever. (Allie Is Wired)
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July 24, 2008

Sienna Miller's Pubes Restored with the Magic of CGI

sienna_miller_hair_extensions_weave.jpg Remember oh so long ago, way before we had seen Sienna Miller's blammos in public here and here and probably a couple of hundred other times that we've since forgotten, remember how Sienna was filming a movie where she was supposed to be some sort of nude hippie love goddess but she insisted on meticulously trimming her vadge hairs in very un-'60s fashion? Remember that? Well, enjoy the manicured pube trail while you can, because it's getting covered up by cartoon cooch fuzz. Our favorite gossip comedian, FemaleFirst, brings us one of the best stories we've heard in weeks:
Sienna Miller had her private parts digitally enhanced for her new movie.

The 26-year-old actress had to have pubic hair added by computer wizard for some scenes in her new film 'Hippie Hippie Shake'.

In the movie, Sienna plays Louise, the girlfriend of publisher Richard Neville, who was heavily involved in London's party scene during the 60s.

A studio source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "The film is set in the swinging 60s when fashion was wild and body hair even wilder. Unfortunately, Brazilian waxes weren't common in the 60s and Sienna's part involved one or two nude scenes - meaning that her grooming habits were on display. A merkin [pubic wig] simply wouldn't have done the trick, but luckily computer wizardry came to the rescue.

"Sienna's private parts were enhanced, giving her a rather unruly bush. All the cast had a good giggle about it and stoical Sienna happily played along."

A Brazilian is a method of pubic waxing where almost all hair is removed.
Gee thanks, FF, for telling us the precise definition of Brazilian. And here we always thought it had something to do with Gisele Bundchen. Anyway, we've always known that CGI was useful for more than deflating Lindsay Lohan's casabas and de-Kabbalah-fying Ashton Kutcher. And, you know, blowing shit up and making monsters and all that shit the kids love these days. CGI allows lazy actresses to give period-appropriate furburger footage without having to stuff a fluffy muff into their panties every morning. Yay technology! more »
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July 23, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Funky Monk-y

sophie_monk_nipples_bikini.jpgSophie Monk's nipples try to stab their way through her bikini top. Like they were pink, squishy pirate cutlasses. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

David Duchovny was scared that wife Tea Leoni would give him a beatdown when she saw his makeout scene with Gillian Anderson in the X-Files movie. Guess we can assume she's never seen Californication. (FemaleFirst)

Nick Hogan turns 18 on Sunday. That means big boy jail! Yayyy! Sooo big! (Allie Is Wired)

• Despite the pap songs, the fishbelly complexion, and the castrato voice, being James Blunt is kind of sweet. (Cityrag)

• More details about Batman giving his batmom a batshove. (Yeeeah!)

Heather Locklear has been successfully rehabilitated. Locklear v. 2.0 ready for deployment. (The Blemish)

Amy Winehouse wants at least five children with cracky, smacky husband Blake. Though since he's just been sentenced to 27 months in jail, that might be difficult outside of conjugal visits. (CelebWarship)

• Two weeks post-birth, and Nicole Kidman's gut is flatter than yours. The world is a vampire. (Hollywire)

Gabrielle Reece shoves her volleyballs into a bikini top. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Picture it. 2008. Estelle Getty dies at her home. We'll miss you, Sophia Petrillo. (PopCrunch)

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July 21, 2008

Jordan: Budding Movie-Mogul Genius

jordan_kate_price_sequined_feathered_superhero.jpg In the world of celebrity biopics, there are good choices and bad choices. Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter? Pretty spot on. Angelina Jolie as Jordan? We don't think so. It would probably be a better match to cast an ostrich in the role. As long as the ostrich had Mr. Ed-like lip-moving abilities. And volleyball-sized breast implants. Our own celebrity-impression specialist, FemaleFirst, says of the erstwhile Katie Price:
Jordan wants Angelina Jolie to play her in a film of her life.

The British model and TV star, real name Katie Price, thinks the stunning actress would be the perfect choice to portray her on the big screen.

She also has a specific leading man in mind to play husband Peter Andre.

Jordan said: "I do really want to do a film about my life. I'm thinking Angelina Jolie could be me and Keanu Reeves for Pete."
You know, we think that Jordan's casting decisions are so terrible that we're going to continue on with our idea of populating a Jordan/Peter Andre biopic with members of the animal kingdom. We think a badger could possibly capture the essence of Peter, as long as that badger waxed his chest and studied Derek Zoolander's Blue Steel really, really hard. Does the Academy give out Oscars for casting? Because we think we've pretty much got that award in the bag.
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July 15, 2008

Selma Blair Makes Out with Plastic

Selma_Hellboy.jpgHaving sported gargantuan CGI titties in A Dirty Shave (that's a typo but we're not fixing it!), Selma Blair knows a thing or two about acting with unwieldy prostheses. So it was no problem for Selma to make out with that dude from Beauty and the Beast and his face full of latex and grease paint in Hellboy 2. Our personal theatrical makeup artist, FemaleFirst, quotes the lovely Miss Blair as saying:
"The first time I had to do a scene like that with Ron I did not know if I could touch him, if it would ruin the make-up. I had never worked with a prosthetic love interest before. So I did not know how I would touch him, if it would make a sound, if it would sound like a balloon. I had no idea.

"But after that it felt completely natural and normal and I completely forgot that I was talking to a man in make-up. It felt completely real. I actually really enjoyed it."
Cute! Now she and Nikki Cox's spouse Jay Mohr can get together over coffee and compare notes. Selma will be like, "I thought it was going to taste like burning rubber! But actually it was more of a medicinal, silicone-y flavor with a slight aftertaste of plastic." And Jay will excitedly say, "Exactly! Exactly! And isn't it so funny when it's cold out and you lean in for a kiss and the fake mouth is--" "The same temperature as the frigid air!!!" Selma interjects, and then they share a high five and laugh and laugh. more »
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July 02, 2008

Audrina Patridge To Bare Her Hills in Into the Blue 2?

audrina patridge pussyca dolls sexy costume.jpg When we think "serious thespians Paul Walker and Jessica Alba in Into the Blue," obviously we also think "sequel!" But in the grand tradition of taking a mildly successful film, not coughing up enough cash to get its stars to return, and instead packing it with boobies (i.e., Poison Ivy 2 and Cruel Intentions 2), Into the Blue 2 will make sure it has a couple of bouncing buoys to grab your attention. Egotastic brings us the poop from a somewhat dubious source:
I can't find the original article, so I'm not 100% sure on this one, but according to National Ledger (ever the bastion of journalistic integrity), Star magazine is reporting that we will see Audrina Patridge topless in her new movie Into the Blue 2. The report also indicates that we will soon see pictures of Audrina nude on the set, but I think that's a stretch.

"Audrina will keep the buzz of her cleavage going this summer with more nude pictures from the set of a film she is working on. According to a report from Star magazine, Audrina will be taking it all off again in the film. The scandal from March has not dissuaded the 23-year-old from stripping it off and the magazine is reporting that is what she will be doing during the filming Into The Blue 2.

"Star Magazine is reporting that it has learned Audrina will have a topless scene in the movie (where she plays Kelsey and stars along side Laura Vandervoort). 'The script calls for a moment where Audrina takes off her bathing-suit top for two seconds,' a source tells the magazine. 'Still, she's a little nervous, because she wants to be seen as a serious actress.'"
A serious actress, huh? We think we'll believe that one right around the time we start believing Heidi Montag really wants more privacy. more »
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Rose and Rodriguez: Ruined over Rubles

rose mcgowan robert rodriguez.jpg Remember when wholesome family-movie director (Spy Kids) / blood-and-guts-fetishist (Planet Terror) Robert Rodriguez left his wife of sixteen years and their cadre of annoyingly named children to get it on with tragically wonk-eyed actress Rose McGowan. Yeah, bet he's kicking himself for that one right about now. Page Six reports on their breakup and her career shortcomings:
ROSE McGowan's breakup with her fiancé, director Robert Rodriguez, could be good news for some other actresses, who could end up with the leading roles she was set to play in his movies.

McGowan was hoping to star in at least three planned Rodriguez films - a remake of "Barbarella," "Red Sonja" and "Woman in Chains!"

But sources say the couple, who we reported last October were engaged, have split, partly over the problems Rodriguez had finding financing for "Barbarella" - the 1968 cult classic in which Jane Fonda played a sexy space adven- turess - with McGowan in the title role.

McGowan, best known for her witchy role on TV's "Charmed," wasn't thought to have enough box-office draw for the $70 million remake, especially after "Grindhouse" disappointed with about $25.4 million in domestic ticket sales.

"Too bad 'Grindhouse' didn't gross $100 million. Then, maybe, 'Barbarella' would have gotten the green light," said one source. "Instead, the moguls were saying, 'We need a bigger star, a bigger name.' " Jessica Alba has been touted as a possible replacement.
R. Rod's internal monologue: "God dammit, I f'ed up. I directed Jessica Alba before that two-bit TV lady came along. I had a crack at her, and I passed it up. I could've had her, right? I'm a big-time movie director. I'm friends with Quentin Tarantino. I know Antonio Banderas. Banderas! He was a Mambo King! That's impressive, right? Right? Man, I'm an idiot." more »
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July 01, 2008

Megan Fox: More than Meets the Eye; Diva in Disguise

megan_fox_water_bottle.jpgDivahood is a slippery slope. Just ask Jennifer Lopez. One day she was requesting Miracle Whip instead of Hellman's for her sandwich on the set of Selena, and the next thing you know she's requiring four enchanted poodles (standard size ONLY, please) to carry her from trailer to set using a platinum rickshaw. So Megan Fox best check herself now. That Other Blog reports:
The super sweet and humble Megan Fox knows she’s the star of Transformers 2 and ain’t letting no hoes take away her spotlight.

Star Magazine reports that she has banned producers from casting other attractive brunette actresses in the sequel.

A spy says, "Megan is definitely the star of the sequel, and she wants to keep it that way. It’s fine with her if there are hot blondes in the film, but she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want any brunettes."
Well, see, keep in mind that the film's director, Michael Bay, requires but one thing of Megan: "look hot". So basically, Megan's just taking extra care to do her job well. She's going that extra mile. That impetuous upstart! She's going places! Like a young Lee Iacocca. more »
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June 26, 2008

The Old Man and the Olsen

mary kate olsen wackness premiere.jpg Since we know you were totally turned on by the mere idea of old-lady impersonator Mary-Kate Olsen sharing a "full-on make-out session" with shorn-noggined thespian Ben Kingsley, we know that hearing Sir Ben and his wife talk about the scene will give you some raging wood. CelebNewsWire readers: lovers of old dudes sticking their tongues in barely legal mouths. Yeah, we know you. According to People, Ghandi confessed:
"She was completely in charge," the actor, 64, tells PEOPLE of their enthusiastic make-out scene in a telephone booth.

The former star of Gandhi and Schindler's List – who's currently shooting with Martin Scorcese in Boston – drove down to New York for the movie's Cinema Society and Sony Cierge-sponsored party at the Gramercy Roof Club.

"I love watching the movie," his wife, Daniela, said of the coming-of-age stoner film. As for her real-life leading man, she added, "I love him. He's amazing."
While we love the idea of Ben's wife seeing her husband sucking face with MK and responding with a hearty round of raising the roof and a couple of "woot woot"s (because that's how people express their love for cinema, right?), we really love the idea of MK grabbing onto Ben's silken robes, throwing him against the wall of the phone booth (btw, what?), and sucking on his mouth like she's Tara Reid and he's a bottle of Grey Goose. Totally hot.

Check out more pics of MK at The Wackness premiere at Daily Stab.
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June 25, 2008

Keira Knightley + Mom = One Hot Sex Scene

Keira Knightley pouts.jpg It's looking like the promotion for the Dylan-Thomas-and-a-couple-of-hot-lesbians movie The Edge of Love, which doesn't open in the U.S. until this fall, is going to last longer than the spirit-crushing onslaught of Sex and City hype. Every day this week it's been Keira Knightley this, Sienna Miller that. And we're just as excited as anyone to see them get it on, but hearing them talk about nudity and their hot sex scenes every day knowing we won't actually see any of it for months is a bigger tease than a Christian high-school cheerleader. Today's dish involves Keira revealing that she's, like, totally not grossed out that her mommy wrote her sex scene. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Actress Keira Knightley was happy to film a sex scene for her new movie "The Edge of Love," even though her mother wrote the naked romp.

Knightley's mom, Sharman Macdonald, penned the movie's screenplay. She also served as a producer on the project.

Knightley insists that knowing her mother is capable of writing about steamy clinches didn't faze her and she was happy to strip off wherever necessary.

She says, "She dared to put a sex scene in it. It didn't worry me that my mother knows what sex is.

"Come to think of it, I was found under an apple tree. My mother is a virgin. I had no hissy fits when she presented me with the scene."
From what we know of Keira "Tits" Knightley, we're guessing that she and her mom don't exactly have an uptight relationship. We wouldn't be surprised if Keira's bedtime stories as a tot weren't The Little Engine That Could and Goodnight Moon but The Story of O and the collected works Henry Miller. more »
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Sienna Miller Stuffs

sienna miller block face with hands.jpg And speaking of Sienna Miller, she needs bigger tits. Well, at least according to one director. Also via The San Francisco Chronicle:
Actress Sienna Miller had to wear fake breasts for her role in forthcoming action movie "G.I. Joe," because her own cleavage was not big enough for director Stephen Sommers.

Miller joins Dennis Quaid and Brendan Fraser to play femme fatale The Baroness in the upcoming movie, which is based on the popular toys and TV series.

But Miller admits she was left slightly stunned when Sommers told her that her small chest had to be given an extra boost so she would look more curvaceous on screen.

She says, "(I wear a) tight black leather outfit. And much bigger boobs.

"They gave me these things that looked like chicken fillets. The director said, 'I'm gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs,' and I don't have them so we made them bigger.

"At least he's honest. But I was mildly offended."
Sure, the hot chick in a summer blockbuster action movie needs big bazooms. That's understandable. But this Stephen Sommers may have a bit of a problem, as we heard he requested the same wardrobe enhancement for Elijah Wood in his adaptation of Huck Finn. That just looked weird. more »
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June 23, 2008

Burnt Sienna

sienna miller wears dumb clothes.jpg Today we've got a bit of a Sienna Miller grab bag for you. First she talks about her boobs. Then she talks about her boobs some more. OK, so we guess it's not really a grab bag. Unless by "bag" we mean "nutsack". If that's the case, then Sienna Miller talking about her titties is most definitely a grab bag. Our own personal breast specialist, FemaleFirst, reports:
Sienna Miller burnt her boobs while making her new movie.

The 26-year-old actress revealed the accident happened when she was filming a stunt for action blockbuster 'G.I. Joe'.

She revealed: "I had every intention of working out but it just didn't happen - I've never been to the gym.

"I got burnt boobs, I ran the wrong way under an explosion. It was my own fault, I'm clumsy, there's a little scar."

Sienna - who stripped off in 'Factory Girl' and the forthcoming 'Hippie Hippie Shake' - also admitted she finds nude scenes uncomfortable because of "perverts" on set.

She added: "The damage is done, everything's been seen! It's a little bit awkward at the time. There's the odd perve in the corner."
Because this is Sienna Miller here, and the total wardrobe cost for the duration of her career thus far has been about $87, we're assuming that Sienna's boobs were burnt because she was running away from an explosion in the nude, in slow motion. We're also assuming that particular scene will eat up at least 40 minutes of screen time, which will help G.I. Joe beat every single box-office record in history. Yea for Sienna's scones! more »
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June 20, 2008

Tits Knightley Talks About Her Naked Tits

keira knightley mouth agape.jpg Ol' Tits Knightley, oh, how we've missed you. Sure, Keira Knightley has been out and about, hanging with right old chap Rupert Friend and practicing her pronunciation of 'enry 'iggins, but we haven't heard her wax poetic on her most favorite subject--tits--in quite some time. But now that she's set to once again bare her "two aspirins on an ironing board" in the upcoming Dylan Thomas biopic The Edge of Love, it's time to talk titties. According to IMDb:
Keira Knightley didn't hesitate when she was asked to bare her breasts in new movie The Edge Of Love - because she believes sex scenes are more believable when performed by naked actors.

The 23-year-old actress has no qualms about appearing in the buff, insisting nudity has even become a habit of hers.

She tells People magazine, "I always bare my breasts. It's not like it's only in this film!"

So when Edge Of Love filmmaker John Maybury requested her to remove her bra, she was happy to oblige: "I said, 'All right then.'

"It was very simple. It was a sex scene and I never like them when they've got bras on."
This is exciting and all, but we get the impression that The Edge of Love can't possibly live up to our lofty expectations. It stars Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller. And they do it! In our minds we're pretty much imagining a Misty Mundae movie, with Keira and Sienna completely naked and bumping boobies in the Welsh countryside for roughly 89% of the film. But then we watched the trailer. It's a bit more Jane Austen with Wellies than Jesse Jane. Maybe next time, girls.

more »
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Megan Fox's Job Description: Look Hot

Megan Fox sqats pees.jpg Barring his emotional daddy-daughter "I'm gonna blow up, but don't you be sad, you've got hunky Ben Affleck to comfort you" scene between Bruce Willis and Liv Tyler in Armageddon (we know you cried, tough guy), Michael Bay isn't exactly known for deep personal interactions in his films. So it's no surprise that all he's looking for from his newest leading actress is a pretty face. Lusted after BAG schtupper and onetime Lohan costar Megan Fox scooped the poop on Transformers 2 to MTV.com:
“As big as the first movie was, this is 10 times as big, 10 times as many set pieces, explosions, and acrobatic stunts,” she told us about “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. “Shia and I make out a little bit; I don’t know if anyone wants to see that.”

“You know, we’ve been having script meetings, and we’ve been reworking the script, because they wrote it fast because of the writer’s strike,” she explained. “And, we’ve just been going through and trying to do some character stuff for Shia and myself in the middle of this crazy world that they’re in.”

“I can tell you that we’re on locations in some really exotic places,” she added. “It’s just going to be a badass movie. It’s just going to be a popcorn-visual-spectacle, summer film.”

As for Michael Bay’s main directorial input to his lead actress, Megan had this to say: “His main note to me is just to look hot; so I try my best.”
Wonder what Bay's notes to The Beef were. Look tough? Brood? Where did he learn his directorial genius, George Lucas? more »
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June 18, 2008

Liv Tyler Sad She's Not As Pretty As Edward Norton

liv tyler family halloween costume.jpg PG-13-rated superhero movies are not so much known for their super hot and steamy man-on-woman interactions. They're generally a bit more Brokeback Mountain than 9 1/2 Weeks. Sure, a few of the Batmans seem like they really dig vagina (not Val Kilmer's though), but Spider-Man? He was definitely more interested in ripping off Harry's clothes than Mary Jane's. So it's fitting that Liv Tyler would be complaining that she looks like some sort of deformed chimpanzee next a hot, glistening Ed Norton. The 14-year-old boys who populate The Incredible Hulk's audience aren't interested in gross things like boobies anyway, right? Give them toned, sweaty pecs! According to IMDb:
Liv Tyler dreaded shooting romantic scenes with her The Hulk co-star Ed Norton - because she felt the actor's lean physique put her own to shame.

The Fight Club star toned up for his role as Bruce Banner, the mild-mannered scientist who transforms into the raging green monster.

And Tyler, who plays Banner's girlfriend Betty, was so intimidated by his svelte stature, she didn't want to be filmed standing next to him.

She says, "There were points when I was like, 'Wait! We cannot do this love scene because his body looks so much more beautiful than mine!'"
Yeah, we're sure you look like a hideous monster, Liv. "Wah wah. I'm so ugly. My body sucks. I should just save everyone the misery of having to look at me and bury myself in a hole in the ground with a year's supply of chocolate cheesecake." Here's a suggestion, Liv: The next time you're feeling down on yourself for not looking like Angelina Jolie or some such, take a trip to, say, central Missouri and hop into the local Wal-Mart. You'll be feeling like the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe in no time. more »
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June 16, 2008

Double Trouble for Kate Beckinsale's Butt

kate_beckinsale_ass.jpgThere are plenty of differences between you and Kate Beckinsale. Kate lives in one of several multimillion dollar mansions; you live in an efficiency apartment above a sock emporium. Kate has a nutritionist and personal chef on her staff; your idea of healthy eating is scraping the mold off the top of the Sriracha before you pour it on your Totino's Party Pizza. However, the main difference is that Kate Beckinsale hates Kate Beckinsale's ass, while Kate Beckinsale's ass is the screensaver on your phone. According to our gossip body double, FemaleFirst, Kate has demanded that producers of her new film Whiteout hire a $2000/day duff double because she feels that hers is repulsive to the senses. A source says,
"Kate has a terrible self-image. She thinks she is fat and she is always complaining how certain outfits make her bottom look big. Of course, the reality is that she has the most amazing body."
We're not sure what kind of crazy backward thinking happens over there in the UK, but in OUR country, having a fat bottom makes you a star. Kim Kardashian, Coco-T, Vida Guerra. Here, splaying your blubbery ass cheeks as often as possible is considered a God-given talent on par with savant-level harp-playing and juggling chainsaws while riding a PogoBall. They're actually going to change our national symbol from a bald eagle to a big fat ass clad in velour Juicy sweatpants. It will look especially regal rendered in a quarter. USA! USA! USA! more »
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Angelina Jolie: She'll Cut You! She'll Cut You Good!

angelina jolie knife apple.jpg Though she may be full to the brim with pretty, pretty babies at the moment, Angelina Jolie wants you to remember that she used to be some sort of wild reckless goth chick. You know, before she was a super sexy cross between Mother Teresa and Mia Farrow. She was so cutting-edge (har har), in fact, that she had a super nifty knife collection when she was fourteen that she used to cut things into her boyfriend. Things like "Roxette Rules!" we're guessing. Whether or not Ang had a nice gathering of dragon figurines to keep her knife collection company is still under speculation. According to our own personal Dungeon Master, FemaleFirst:
Angelina Jolie has revealed she is scarred after "experimenting" with knives with an ex-boyfriend in bed.

The actress - who is currently expecting twins with partner Brad Pitt - says the incident, which caused scarring on her abdomen and thigh, happened when she was 14 and "curious about vampires"

She said: "When I was 14, I collected knives. My first boyfriend and I ended up getting into some fighting in bed and being silly. People think that happens every time I go to bed.

"It was actually something he never wanted to do again. It was a mistake and we really hurt ourselves. It was just being young, you know, when you're curious about vampires and that kind of thing. Just experimenting. It was an accident and I ended up in the hospital."
We're fairly certain that Angie has left the knifeplay in the past, as Brad Pitt would probably emit a high-pitched scream and bury his head under a couple of pillows if he saw Angelina coming at him with a knife in bed.

And in case you still need proof that Angelina is a kick-ass sexy broad, IMDb dishes:
Scottish actor James McAvoy let Hollywood beauty Angelina Jolie take "control" when they filmed an on-screen kiss for new movie Wanted.

The Atonement star admits he was worried about locking lips with the gorgeous actress, but Jolie helped put him at ease by taking charge of the situation.

He says, "I was nervous but after five minutes I thought this is going to be all right, it's cool. She was in very good shape.

"It could be anybody when you're kissing someone on film, you have to make it look good. She's pretty much in control of the situation."
What did you expect her to be like? She's not exactly the type to lie back and say, "Yeah, whatever you want to do is fine with me, as long as you're finished by the time Letterman's monologue starts." more »
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There's Only Room Enough on this Magazine Cover for ONE Jennifer

janistonick.jpgSexy Jennifer in a movie: there can be only one. Woe unto to those other Jennifers who encroach on her cinematic territory with their shiny hair and taut thighs! According to Life & Style, via Celebitchy, Jennifer Aniston barred costar Jennifer Connelly from a recent mag cover shoot.
Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. “Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover,” says an insider familiar with the movie’s shoot. “It was all about getting Jennifer Aniston front and center and looking as sexy as possible.”

So what’s Jen’s beef with [Connelly]? While Aniston’s rep denies that there’s any discord between the actresses, they just didn’t hit it off, says the insider: “There was no camaraderie between those two whatsoever. They didn’t seem like friends in the slightest.”
Aw, look, the wicked stepmother won't let Cinderella come to the ball with her and her daughters. Only Cinderella Connelly doesn't need glass slippers or a pretty dress designed by rodent helpers to snag the title of Prettiest Princess in the Land. Because Cinderella Connelly has another magical trick up her sleeve. The enchanted double dong dildo. Covered in fairy dust and shimmering lube. Only watch out--at midnight, it turns back into a zucchini. Eat shit, Aniston! more »
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June 10, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: CBT

on-the-doll-balls-1.jpgBrittany Snow not naked, but well-versed in cock and ball torture in On the Doll! (Fatback)

• In case you were wondering if Pam Anderson's nipples were still inching their way towards her armpits, the answer is a resounding yes! (Taxi Driver)

• Abigail Clancy: dumpy name, glamorous naked boobs in a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Despite her assertions to the contrary, Jessica Alba is most definitely shopping around pics of her baby. (Cityrag)

• Awwww. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, happy and hugging. Not as exciting as groaning and fingerblasting, but we make do with what we're given. (Yeeeah!)

Sienna Miller enjoys sleeping with . . . . . . . . . . . Heath Ledger's pajamas. (CelebWarship)

Heather Locklear throws some gang signs. Yo yo yo, northeast siiiiiide, Bev Hills, dis ya girl Heathuh! Brentwoooooood! Respect! (The Blemish)

• Paul Newman has lung cancer. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. (Hollywire)

Elizabeth Hurley continues to dress her son like he's Little Lord Fauntleroy. (Allie Is Wired)

• Does Christina Aguilera have her eye on another, nonsimian man? (Hollyscoop)

• Firecrotch-spouter Brandon Davis has gone from Fat Elvis to slightly less fat Elvis. (Faded Youth)

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June 06, 2008

Woody Allen Sez: "If You Like Sex, Don't See My Movie"

penelope cruz short shorts 1.jpg Woody Allen is not a very savvy businessman. Most directors would let rumors of sexed-up storylines and hot lesbian action run rampant, but not Woody. He says, "There ain't none of that crap in my movie, pervos; it's art." According to WENN:
Woody Allen has denied rumours of racy sex scenes between Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson in upcoming movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Johansson and Cruz appear in a steamy scene together as well as taking part in a threesome with Spanish actor Javier Bardem, according to reports.

The director admits that the film does feature a lesbian clinch - but "not in the sense that they're (the press) suggesting."

And the 72-year-old dismisses claims that it is "steamy", telling Britain's Empire magazine, "There's no truth comparable to anything you've read. There's the barest smidgeon of sex in it.

"There are sex scenes between all the characters in the movie: between the men and the women, and the women and the women. That is accurate, but I'd say there's probably not even 20 seconds of sex in the whole picture."
What kind of forking marketing strategy is that? The "I already have a shit ton of money, so I don't need any more, I make movies for the love of cinema" approach? Why not just let a bunch of horndogs pay $9.50 apiece to see the movie? It's not like they're going to be so pissed they never see another Woody Allen movie. Theatergoers who choose films based on girl-on-girl groping probably aren't big Manhattan fans anyway.

And since this was basically an anti-sexy-lady story, here's Penelope Cruz peeking some cheek in short shorts. Now that dame knows how to sell movie tickets.

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Pics via the dashing Drunken Stepfather.
more »
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Anne Hathaway Shares Her "Pink" with Steve Carrell

anne_hathaway_orange.jpgAw, so cute. Anne Hathaway, with her wide-eyed, gazelle-like innocent beauty, thinks you kiss people by rubbing eyeballs together. According to Anne, she gave Steve Carrell pinkeye while kissing for the filming of Get Smart. Anne explains:
"There was a health scare last year and a certain contact solution, I won't say the name of it but it was the one that I use - gave you conjunctivitis. I also had a sinus infection at the same time. So I had to go up to Steve, my eye is red, puffy and dripping green - I'm snotty and I'm just like 'Come here!'"
Wow. A woman forcefully strongarming you into getting intimate. You lean in, your stomach doing flip-flops like you were on a roller coaster, as you lean in closer and closer towards the festering, inflamed mucuous membrane leaking yellow and green pus. Knowing that you'll soon come in contact with that hideous, crusty area, and wondering if you'll come out alive. Congratulations, Steve Carrell, you just found out what it's like to have sex with Paris HIlton. more »
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June 05, 2008

Nepotism Never Looked So Sexy

keira_knightley_eyes-closedjpg.jpgKeira Knightley is the Veruca Salt of the now generation. Only instead of wanting her daddy to buy her an Oompa-Loompa, she wants her mommy to custom-tailor a role specifically written for Keira in a biopic with lesbian undertones. WENN reports:
Keira Knightley clashed with her screenwriter mother Sharman MacDonald over their forthcoming movie The Edge Of Love - because the actress refused to play the part her mum had specifically written for her.

Macdonald told her daughter she had penned the role of Caitlin Thomas just for her in the upcoming film about Welsh poet Dylan Thomas - but the 23-year-old had other ideas.

Macdonald recalls, "I said, 'You're playing Caitlin,' and she said, 'No, I like Vera.'"

As a result, the part of Vera Phillips, one of the Welsh poet's love interests, was transformed - to Knightley's liking. Macdonald adds: "She wasn't even a singer until Keira decided to play her."
Similarly, we hear that Asia Argento's role in Trauma was originally written to be a chaste young nun until Asia told her father, the director, "Needs more titties, pops." Nice work, ladies. Next time try to incorporate some giant raptor battles while you're at it. more »
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