filed under: Miley Cyrus

• Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)

• Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)

• Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo dressed as cheerleaders, Carmen Electra in jazzercise gear. You're welcome, pre-verts. (The Hollywood Gossip)

• The fetus is out there. And by "there" we mean in Gillian Anderson's womb. (F-Listed)

• Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen married Brooke Whatsherguts last weekend. We didn't report on it because it didn't involve insulting Denise Richards. (Allie Is Wired)

• Lily Allen's hair is pink, her face is green, and her liver is pickled yellow. Fun drunk shots! Luv u Lily. (Derek Hail)

• Astley Tisdale: prepare for mass RickRollage. (The Blemish)

• Vanity Fair is in deep shit for implying that Gina Gershon let Bill Clinton's presidential peen into her Oval Office. Crystal Connors, NO! (Defamer)

• Eva Longoria is sporting what appears to be an inflated pregnancy rack, highlighted by the most burnt sienna of tan-spackle. (D-listed)

Purveyor of awesome pop hits (seriously) Miley Cyrus continues to barrel headlong down that Slip n' Slide into young Hollywood debauchery. Recently she stated that she doesn't see the big deal about the behavior of her peers, saying,

"Everyone has their time. And I think most 21- to 25-year-olds go through this kind of thing. Basically, they're being normal 21-year-olds, especially Lindsay (Lohan). I mean, most of that's pretty normal. If you went to most high schools, I could point out Britneys (Spears) and Lindsays."

Most 21- to 25-year-olds do go to rehab after crashing their luxury SUV into a tree while under the influence of cocaine and/or get involuntarily institutionalized after refusing to give up their children to their shants-and-cornrow-sporting ex-husband, yes. True, Miley.

In other Hannah Montana news, Hugh Hefner said that when Miley turns eighteen, he would be happy to feature her in Playboy. The old reprobate! Sez Hef:

"She would be welcomed in the magazine. She's a very pretty lady."

Then Hef leaned forward and said, "Very pretty! Prettier'n Betty Grable, even! Boy howdy, I tell you what. I would pin that Cyrus dame's pinup to the dash of my Packard any old time, I would I would. Then I could look at her whenever I was driving down to the mixer to get some leg. Here, have a Werther's Original." Because he's old, see.

• Elizabeth Hurley's colossal cleavage never seems to age. Baffling! (The Blemish)

• Amy Winehouse and her imprisoned husband: they're either going to be "together forever", or she's cheating on him and will be forced to give him three million dollars. Either way, she's screwed. (Female First)

• Tom Cruise was once Cher's bagel boy. And by that, we mean he spread his cream on her hole. Wait, no. The other way around. (Hollywood Grind)

• 'Scuse me while I kiss this dong. Move over, Marilyn, it's the Jimi Hendrix sex tape! Does he play a right-handed vagina left-handed? Watch and find out.(I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Disney says that we won't be seeing much of Miley Cyrus in the wake of her "nude" photo "controversy". Unless she's in a full body condom with a scarlet letter on it. (The Hollywood Gossip)

• Hulk Hogan uses suntan oil . . . to lube up daughter Brooke Hogan's crotch? Miley, what have you wrought with your suggestive posing and infectious pop grooves? The whole world's gone crazy! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Leah Remini's daughter is an asshole. (Derek Hail)

• When John Travolta notices that his new facial hair configuration looks like two porn star landing strips, he will squeal, "Ew, get it off, get it offffff!" (Yeeeah!)

• Keeley Hazell. Dancing. In her undies. (Holy Taco)

• Former Full House fox Lori Loughlin joins the cast of the new improved 90210. It's like 1990 all over again. (Hollywire)

You'd think that after coming face-to-cervix with Britney's and Lohan's ham tunnels, we'd maybe be a little jaded about a vaguely "sexy" picture of a teen starlet. You'd think that, but you'd think wrong, because apparently a brou-ha-ha is brou-ing over some topless shots of Hannah Montana that appear in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. In the accompanying article, Miley Cyrus says,

“I think it’s really artsy. It wasn’t in a skanky way.… And you can’t say no to Annie. She’s so cute. She gets this puppy-dog look and you’re like, O.K.”

However, now that the mag is out, Miley isn't singing a happy song (lookit that clever play on words. We learned that from Star!):

“I was so honored and thrilled to work with Annie [Leibovitz]. I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.”

Disney's statement:

“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.”

Oh, kind of like how a fifteen-year-old is manipulated into selling lunch boxes and Trapper Keepers and $1000 concert tickets? Yeah, kind of like that. Anyway, we don't really see the big deal about the pictures. She's showing 1/3 of her back. The last time the public got this worked up over so little skin, it was in 1906, when Gibson Girl model Hattie Mae Brunfield went to the nickelodeon sans swan-bill corset and with a sleeve rolled up to bare one delicate, ivory elbow. And lo, how we swooned with outrage!

• Gisele gifts us with the side of her supermodel superbooble. (Drunken Stepfather)

• All hail the Poshycat Doll. (Daily Stab)

• Kids, heed the sad tale of Naomi Campbell's hairline: weave abuse leads to baldness. (Yeeeah!)

• Rihanna has a crotch that emits mystical hot pink beams! (Cityrag)

• More Mischa Barton titty buttons from Closing the Ring. Now with video! (Egotastic!)

• Julia Roberts stinks. (FemaleFirst)

• Julianne Moore shows Moore of herself. Namely, nipples. (Fatback)

• Billie Piper flashed a peck of freckled poppers. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Amy Winehouse spends a night being dainty and demure. (CelebWarship)

• Miley Cyrus in a typical MySpace picture pose. I.e., with exposed underwear. (Pop Crunch)

• Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib, married? Married? Yeah, married. Married? Yeah, married! Sheesh! (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Miley Cyrus publicly apologizes for not wearing her seat belt. No seat belt is a slippery slope that leads headlong into Crotchflashtown and San Rehabton. (IMDb)

• Emma "Hermione" Watson gets slimed by Kirsten Dunst's leftovers. (The Sun)

• Bai Ling arrested for hamburglaring some gossip rags and a pack of batteries from an airport gift shop. Maybe she wanted to power up her G-spotter to use while gazing at herself in the fashion "What Were They Thinking?" section. (Celebitchy)

• Oh, shut your tamalehole, J. Lo. Nobody wants to steal your dumb old crusty old babies. (The Blemish)

• The Madamism of Hollywood. Waylon Flowers would be delighted. (Cityrag)

• Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, that sitter of hers is A number one. (HolyTaco)

• Amy Winehouse upgrades to Blake v. 2.0: all the creepiness none of the jail. Now with Magic-Gro Hair! (The Superficial)

• Aguilera debuts her infink. (Daily Stab)

• Kristen Bell gets rung! (Don't Link This)

We here at CelebNewsWire used to have standards. We only paid attention to people who were famous for something. Sure, that something could be a night-vision sex tape, but it had to be something. Then came Kim Kardashian and her huge ass and we just couldn't ignore it. We also refused to pay any attention to anyone whose fame sprouted out of the Disney channel, mostly because those little sass-talking manufactured tweens make us feel really, really old and we don't like that. Then came Vanessa Hudgens and her shocking! nude! photos! and our resolve was once again breached. So we give up. The next time we across That's So Raven in a bikini, we'll cover it. Dylan and Cole Sprouse cause a traffic jam by riding their Big Wheels on the freeway? We're there. Dubious source claims that fifteen-year-old Hannah Montana has been spending her Disney downtime baking up a baby in her lady cavity? We're on it. more »