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filed under: Miley Cyrus

April 14, 2009

CNW Junk Drawer: Pamela Anderson-Lee-Rock-Salomon-Padgett

pam-header.jpg • So they're saying Pamela Anderson is set to wed again. This time to scuba diver Jamie Padgett. Eighteenth time's a charm! (Yeeeah!)

• Jamie Foxx wants Miley Cyrus to do heroin, smoke crack, make a sex tape, and get chlamydia from a bicycle seat. Uh, it was a tractor and my doctor said it totally can happen, thank you very much. (Pop on the Pop)

• Porn star Marilyn Chambers slips behind the green door of life and into the great beyond. RIP, lady. (Mr Skin)

• Angelina Jolie named Most Beautiful Woman by Vanity Fair. That's so fucking controversial, man! Can you even believe it? We're outraged! Outraged!!! (Celebitchy)

• Remember yesterday, when we posted pics of Jessica Simpson in a muumuu and said we liked the look? Well, we were right. Because now there are naked ass upskirt shots. Ka-BOOM. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Phil Spector: to know, know, know him is to love, love, love him. Unless you're Barbarian Queen Lana Clarkson. Then he kills you. (CelebWarship)

• Lindsay Lohan shows all the depth of your seventh grade production of Pecos Bill and Slue Foot Sue Meet the Dirty Dan gang in a new video for FunnyorDie. (DailyStab)

• Hey, look! Naked babes with strategically covered nipples in Allure! (The Blemish)

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March 05, 2009

CNW Junk Drawer: Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes Dash of Her Board

paris_hilton_bentley.jpg• Diamond Dash is neither the game that came preloaded on your cell phone nor the new baby of mogul Damon Dash. It's what Paris Hilton just paid $280,000 to have installed in her pink Bentley. It's the economy, sluthead! (The Blemish)

• Holly Madison will be replacing an injured Jewel on Dancing with the Stars. Because to find someone to fill Jewel's shoes, they needed someone with similarly large chugs. (Daily Stab)

• So maybe Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green aren't really broken up after all. Because, apparently, she's "addicted" to his ding dong. Here, have a bucket for that retching. There ya go. (Yeeeah!)

• Ashlee Simpson brings Bronx Mowgli out into the urban jungle. Hahahaha, get it? (CelebWarship)

• Miley Cyrus admits she underwent harrowing bullying at school. Then she came home and jumped in her swimming pool full of mink stoles and had the Hope Diamond for dinner. (Wesbster's Is My Bitch)

• Kanye West's new beard girlfriend, Amber Rose, is frankly quite hot. (Drunken Stepfather)

• James Franco got a book deal. Okay. (Celebitchy)

• Hollywood dudes who wear too much makeup. Hahahaha! Look at you! Nice mascara, pansy! Bwahahaha! (Bitten and Bound)

• Phil Collins has retired from music to collect artifacts from the Alamo. Because he can. (Holy Moly)

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March 02, 2009

Jiggle Jiggle

miley_cyrus_justin_gaston_jogging.jpgMiley Cyrus: Maybe if I jog in a low-cut shirt and a bikini top, Justin will notice me.

Justin Gaston: Maybe if I jog with my shirt off, I can pick up cute guys.

Miley Cyrus: Maybe if I make a hand motion like I'm cupping male testicles, Justin will notice me.

Justin Gaston: It kind of looks like she's cupping balls. I could get into that.

Billy Ray Cyrus: I'm just relaxing by my crotch rocket, cold kicking my distressed denim after getting my soul patch professionally conditioned. All casual-like.

Justin Gaston: Ai, papi.

miley_cyrus_justin_gaston_jogging_2.jpg miley_cyrus_justin_gaston_jogging_3.jpg miley_cyrus_justin_gaston_jogging_4.jpg
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February 19, 2009

CNW Junk Drawer: Golden R-earring

pam_anderson_gold_thong.jpg• Pam Anderson straps on the golden thong and jiggles it. Just a little bit. (IDLYITW)

• Zahara and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt are cooler than you, and they can't even read. (Pop on the Pop)

• Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto has a secret husband. She's keeping him on the DL because he's so very attractive. (Anything Hollywood)

• Pussycat Guy Nicole Scherzinger slips a nip. And what a nip it is. (The Blemish)

• Let's play Celebrity Ass Pick. It's more fun than Cootie! (Cityrag)

• 16-year-old Miley Cyrus's femme underwear model boyfriend Justin Gaston says he "looks up" to her. Because she's really good with a flat iron and an eyelash curler. How does she DO that? (Faded Youth)

• Liev Schreiber desires man boobs. Perhaps he should talk to the male cast of Lost for tips. (Yeeeah!)

• Gisele Bundchen see through. Not a half-assed bra see-through either. There's nipple. That's right. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Aniston and Jolie will have a duel at high noon at the Oscars. (Allie Is Wired)

• Chace Crawford rejects Lindsay Lohan. Again. Because he's gay. And she's faux gay. (PopCrunch)

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February 12, 2009

Reparations from Miley

miley_asian_face_dumb.jpgOK, Miley Cyrus is a mega-dummy for making the squinty face in that recent photo, but she's sixteen years old, an age when one is more concerned with deciphering the hidden meaning of Kelly Clarkson lyrics than racial sensitivity. But try telling that to Lucie Kim, some Los Angeles lady who was so devastated by Miley pulling up her eyes that she's suing for a huge chunk of cheese. TMZ says:
A Los Angeles woman has filed a class action suit against Miley Cyrus, claiming she mocked Asians in a recent photo by slanting her eyes. Price tag: $4 billion.

Lucie J. Kim claims to represent more than 1 million Asian Pacific Islanders who live in L.A. County. Kim claims when Cyrus posed for the photo, she “knew or should have known that her image would be publicly disseminated via the media, which Cyrus knew focused on her private life, specifically TMZ.”

Kim says in the suit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, that each Asian Pacific Islander is entitled to the minimum damages for a civil rights violation — $4,000. Add it up — $4 billion!
Well, what do you expect? A picture of an undereducated clueless teenager pulling at her eyeballs is mentally devastating. We can understand how someone would look at it and be overcome with so much suffering that the only thing that could make the hurt go away is a bunch of dollars. We understand because we were so offended by this picture of Courtney Love in a bikini that we sued her and won. We got a busted breast implant with dog chew marks on it, a truckload of unsold "America's Sweetheart" CDs, and a quarter. It was a shiny quarter though!
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February 03, 2009

She's Just Bein' Miley

miley_cyrus_asian_eyes.jpgWhat do Miley Cyrus and Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's have in common? Aside from short stature and a winning smile? Lots! Making the rounds of the internet is the picture you see at left, depicting Miley, her much older and nellier boyfriend Justin Gaston, and others pulling at the sides of their eyes in the classic elementary school "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these" motion. Asian-American group OCA issued the following statement regarding the photo:
The photograph of Miley Cyrus and other individuals slanting their eyes currently circulating the Internet is offensive to the Asian Pacific American community and sets a terrible example for her many young fans. This image falls within a long and unfortunate history of people mocking and denigrating individuals of Asian descent...

...Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans, said George Wu, executive director of OCA. The inclusion of an Asian Pacific American individual in the photo does not make it acceptable.

OCA hopes that Miley Cyrus will apologize to her fans and the APA community for this lapse in judgment and takes the opportunity to better understand why the gesture is offensive."
Miley immediately apologized for the gaffe, pressed her palms together and bowed and said "Most honorable Miley say ah so solly!" Ugh, what a maroon. If Miley and her pals want to offend via photographed gesticulations, they should learn some that aren't racially charged. Like the international symbol for cunnilingus. Or the shocker! Everyone likes the shocker. Even the OCA!
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January 08, 2009

CNW Junk Drawer: Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa

mischa_barton__stoned_bikini.jpg• Mischa Barton, beach, bikini, weed, hipster halo. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Lisa Bonet named her newborn son Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. It's the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day. (Dlisted)

• People's Choice Awards winners. Though you already know them because they're YOUR CHOICE. (CelebWarship)

• 16-year-old Miley Cyrus wants a tattoo of her boyfriend's initials. No, no, Miley. Not until you get your zodiac sign and the kanji symbol for "strength". (Yeeeah!)

• Anne Hathaway reveals what got her through the hard times. Anal sex! Wait, no. (Daily Stab)

• Why don't you go look at ladies wearing football jerseys? It's not as if you have anything better to do, you lazy sack of puke. (Holy Taco)

• Uppity Jessica Alba lost the sour for New Year's Eve, thanks in part to her buddy Booze. (Cityrag)

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson split rumor #56b. (The Blemish)

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November 14, 2008

Rich-as-Fuck Celebrities Not So Rich-as-Fuck Anymore

Posh_the_urban_robot.jpg You probably think you have it pretty bad. The crap economy has you worrying if you're going to lose your job or your house or your car, you've switched to one-ply toilet paper, and instead of getting that latte every morning you've resorted to diving into the Starbucks dumpster and sucking on the discarded coffee grounds. But, man, that's nothing. David and Victoria Beckham can't find a buyer for one of their eight (we're estimating) lavish homes! They're even willing to knock a couple million off the asking price! That's rough. Our own personal finance guru, FemaleFirst, reports on these tough times:
It looks like the credit crunch is hitting the celebrity world as well as us mere mortals, with the Beckhams, Miley Cyrus and Joan Collins all been hit my the economic crisis.

Football's golden couple, David and Victoria Beckham may make millions ever year from Brand Beckham but they are not immune to the problems in the housing market. The couple have had to slash the price of their Madrid home after the £6.5 million mansion has been on the market for 17 months and has yet to sell.

The Beckhams are not alone. Supermodel Gisele Bόndchen has also cut the asking price of her Manhattan penthouse from $10.9m (around £5.5m) to a paltry $5.9m (around £3m).

Former Dynasty actress Joan Collins was once the highest paid actress on television. But she was spotted last week doing her weekly food shop in American discount supermarket, Target. However she did then load her carrier bags into a Rolls Royce, which we're sure fitted in with the other cars in the car park!

Disney's teenage superstar Miley Cyrus has had her credit card confiscated by her mum after overspending. Your heart bleeds doesn't it.
Man, we really feel for these people. Where is their economic bailout package? Shouldn't there be some sort of provision in the Constitution that says that middle Americans are required by law to buy the products of the rich and famous in tough economic times so that they do not have to do the unthinkable, like switch from Cristal to Veuve Clicquot? Louis Vuitton to Coach? (Yes, we know that only one of the people mentioned in American. Just roll with it, people.)
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November 12, 2008

Miley Cyrus: Bad Tattoo Enabler

miley_cyrus_stephen_baldwin_hannah_montana_tattoo.jpg Get ready for your tweener daughter (well, if you're old fuckers like us at least) to start begging you to let her get all tatted up, because Jesus zealot Stephen Baldwin just scored a guest spot on Hannah Montana by getting "HM" tattooed on his shoulder. Reports TMZ:
Holy Stigmata! Stephen Baldwin has branded himself with Hannah Montana's initials, all because Miley Cyrus dared him to.

Here's how the whole thing went down. We're told the unlikely friends met last year at the White House, where the 15-year-old dared Baldwin to get Hannah Montana's initials and in return she would let him appear on her Disney TV show since his daughters are huge fans of the series.

Fast forward to yesterday in Nashville, where sources tell us Miley's little sister, Brandi, heard on the radio that the 42-year-old outspoken Christian was also in town to promote his new book. So Miley, her mom, Brandi and Miley's boyfriend Justin Gaston decided to surprise Baldwin at a book signing. When they arrived, we're told Stephen showed off his "HM" tat and asked if he could cameo on her show, at which point Miley (reluctantly?) agreed.

It's Miley Cyrus' world and Stephen's just livin' in it.
Great, this is going to be the early '90s all over again, when every dude with slicked back hair got a Rocket from the Crypt tattoo because they heard it would get them into shows for free, until the epidemic spread so far that MTV's resident Republican Kennedy was even sporting a RFTC tat. Only this time the tattoos will appear beneath Delia's Madison sweaters instead of rolled-up plaid shirt sleeves. It's Circa: Miley!
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October 24, 2008

"Don't Break Your Hymen. Your Achy Breaky Hymen. I Just Don't Think America Would Understand."

mileymileyicecream1.jpgWhen you inched toward puberty, your parents most likely sat you down and gave you an uncomfortable "when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, penis goes in vagina, don't get pregnant" speech. Not so for squirrelly tween Miley Cyrus, who got the "if you have sex, you will DESTROY THE LIVES OF EVERY PERSON UNDER SIXTEEN" lecture from her dad, Billy Ray. Says our friends across the pond at Digital Spy:
Billy Ray Cyrus has given a sex education talk to his 15-year-old daughter Miley, say reports.

He allegedly said: "We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion, but she's at that age where she is bound to be experimenting and her hormones are going nuts. I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously."

Miley is rumoured to be dating 20-year-old Justin Gastron, but has sternly denied she has already engaged in sexual activity with the model.
Well, according to these pictures of Miley's boyfriend that were released yesterday, Billy Ray really doesn't have much to worry about. Cuz is more likely to be spotted "pulling off a Kevin Spacey" with Chace Crawford then he is setting an open course towards Hannah Montana's virgin sea.
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October 08, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Minnillo Licks the Vanillo

vanessa_minnillo_eating_pinkberry_sexy.jpg• Vanessa Minnillo fellates a PInkberry spoon. (F-listed)

• Can't lose that last stubborn five pounds? Get gastric band surgery! Courtney Love did. (Yeeeah!)

• Pics from Britney Spears's new video for "Womanizer". Lots o' wigs, and not a batty pink one amongst them. (Pop on the Pop)

• Madonna bans Sarah Palin from attending her shows. Because Sarah Palin is a really huge fan of Breathless Mahoney and the video for "Justify My Love". (Daily Stab)

• Miley Cyrus makes out with Minnie Mouse. Because that's just how she rolls, man. (Drunken Stepfather)

• David Duchovny and his heat-seeking wang released back onto an unsuspecting pubic. Public. (IDLYITW)

• Lauren Bacall calls Tom Cruise "vulgar", "sick", "ridiculous", and "a maniac". You forgot "short", Betty. (Exposay)

• Nick Nolte's house burned down, and NO, it wasn't because he dropped a doob onto the bed, jerk. (PopCrunch)

• Pete Doherty wants to perform in a rat-filled coffin. When asked for comment, rats said, "Ew, disgusting." (NME)

• A party at the Playboy Mansion inspires Anna Faris to greater heights of promiscuity. (Mr. Skin)

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But not forgetting the nipple patches. Damn you, Kristen Bell. (Don't Link This)

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July 17, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Lisa, Kelly, or Jessie?

kelly_kapowski_mom_jeans.jpg• Mr. Skin takes to the streets of Chicago to find out which Saved by the Bell babe is the most wanted in the Windy City. (Mr. Skin)

• Samantha Ronson blows a load all over Lindsay Lohan. Load, kiss, same thing. (Drunken Stepfather)

• If Tom Cruise had a comic book. (Holy Taco)

• Model Miranda Kerr dumps Orlando Bloom for Brandon "Firecrotch!" Davis. Trading a eunuch elf for Fat Elvis? That's kind of a lateral move. (Yeeeah!)

• Sarah Jessica Parker gets her chin goober removed; now will only be mistaken for Lemmy Kilmeister 50% of the time. (Cityrag)

• Don't tase me, (Josh) bro(lin)! (The Blemish)

• Katy Perry wants to kiss a girl. A girl named Miley Cyrus. And we liked it. (Hollywire)

• Kristin Chenoweth is charming, funny, and has colossal gazongas. (Fatback)

• Vanessa Hudgens straddles Zac Efron on the beach. She's thinking sex, he's thinking "stop smudging my bronzer." (F-listed)

• Reggie Bush desires less tush from girlfriend Kim Kardashian. He also hates America, freedom, petting puppies, and ice cream. (Celebitchy)

• Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake have ended their "relationship". Now Bret can spend more time with his hair and the finest European extensions money can buy. (Celeb Warship)

• Emmy nominations released; Katherine Heigl's wish comes true when she gets zilch. (Bitten and Bound)

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July 14, 2008

Miley Cyrus's Crack Gets Hacked

Miley_Cyrus_Hacked_Pics_1.jpgMonday brings us more sultry Hannah Montana pics . . . and this time, there's no Liebovitzes to blame! Over the weekend, some dude hacked Disney star Miley Cyrus's iPhone and posted a few of the leaked pics on an online forum. Our own personal Mac genius repairperson, FemaleFirst, reports:
Miley Cyrus has sparked further outrage after new raunchy pictures of her were leaked onto the internet.

The 15-year-old star of hit US TV show 'Hannah Montana' has allegedly been photographed in the shower which has made her long white T-shirt see-through, revealing she isn't wearing any underwear.

In another image, Miley poses provocatively with her T-shirt tied tightly under her breasts, exposing her stomach as she pouts at the camera.

The new photographs have been posted on an internet forum, with the user claiming he was sent them by Nick Jonas, of US band The Jonas Brothers, who briefly dated Miley last year.

The internet user is also claiming he has more scandalous pictures of the multi-talented star, which he is now attempting to sell.
Aw, come on. Teens will be teens. This is no different than when we were fifteen. Only instead of iPhone pictures, our girlfriend sent us sexy Polaroids. And instead of a wet T-shirt, she was wearing an oversized B.U.M. Equipment sweatshirt and acid-washed Lee Relaxed Riders with zippers up the side. And instead of the girlfriend being a pop star and actress, she was actually our left hand. Oh, Handi Sue, why don't you ever call anymore?
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June 04, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Rhys Is in Pieces

sienna_rhys_breakup.jpg• Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)

• Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)

• Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo dressed as cheerleaders, Carmen Electra in jazzercise gear. You're welcome, pre-verts. (The Hollywood Gossip)

• The fetus is out there. And by "there" we mean in Gillian Anderson's womb. (F-Listed)

• Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen married Brooke Whatsherguts last weekend. We didn't report on it because it didn't involve insulting Denise Richards. (Allie Is Wired)

• Lily Allen's hair is pink, her face is green, and her liver is pickled yellow. Fun drunk shots! Luv u Lily. (Derek Hail)

• Astley Tisdale: prepare for mass RickRollage. (The Blemish)

• Vanity Fair is in deep shit for implying that Gina Gershon let Bill Clinton's presidential peen into her Oval Office. Crystal Connors, NO! (Defamer)

• Eva Longoria is sporting what appears to be an inflated pregnancy rack, highlighted by the most burnt sienna of tan-spackle. (D-listed)
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May 12, 2008

Tweenmate of the Month

miley_cyrus_topless_20.jpgPurveyor of awesome pop hits (seriously) Miley Cyrus continues to barrel headlong down that Slip n' Slide into young Hollywood debauchery. Recently she stated that she doesn't see the big deal about the behavior of her peers, saying,
"Everyone has their time. And I think most 21- to 25-year-olds go through this kind of thing. Basically, they're being normal 21-year-olds, especially Lindsay (Lohan). I mean, most of that's pretty normal. If you went to most high schools, I could point out Britneys (Spears) and Lindsays."
Most 21- to 25-year-olds do go to rehab after crashing their luxury SUV into a tree while under the influence of cocaine and/or get involuntarily institutionalized after refusing to give up their children to their shants-and-cornrow-sporting ex-husband, yes. True, Miley.

In other Hannah Montana news, Hugh Hefner said that when Miley turns eighteen, he would be happy to feature her in Playboy. The old reprobate! Sez Hef:
"She would be welcomed in the magazine. She's a very pretty lady."
Then Hef leaned forward and said, "Very pretty! Prettier'n Betty Grable, even! Boy howdy, I tell you what. I would pin that Cyrus dame's pinup to the dash of my Packard any old time, I would I would. Then I could look at her whenever I was driving down to the mixer to get some leg. Here, have a Werther's Original." Because he's old, see.
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April 29, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: She's Still Got (T)it!

elizabeth_hurley_cleavage_wow.jpg• Elizabeth Hurley's colossal cleavage never seems to age. Baffling! (The Blemish)

• Amy Winehouse and her imprisoned husband: they're either going to be "together forever", or she's cheating on him and will be forced to give him three million dollars. Either way, she's screwed. (Female First)

• Tom Cruise was once Cher's bagel boy. And by that, we mean he spread his cream on her hole. Wait, no. The other way around. (Hollywood Grind)

• 'Scuse me while I kiss this dong. Move over, Marilyn, it's the Jimi Hendrix sex tape! Does he play a right-handed vagina left-handed? Watch and find out.(I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Disney says that we won't be seeing much of Miley Cyrus in the wake of her "nude" photo "controversy". Unless she's in a full body condom with a scarlet letter on it. (The Hollywood Gossip)

• Hulk Hogan uses suntan oil . . . to lube up daughter Brooke Hogan's crotch? Miley, what have you wrought with your suggestive posing and infectious pop grooves? The whole world's gone crazy! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Leah Remini's daughter is an asshole. (Derek Hail)

• When John Travolta notices that his new facial hair configuration looks like two porn star landing strips, he will squeal, "Ew, get it off, get it offffff!" (Yeeeah!)

• Keeley Hazell. Dancing. In her undies. (Holy Taco)

• Former Full House fox Lori Loughlin joins the cast of the new improved 90210. It's like 1990 all over again. (Hollywire)
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April 28, 2008

Miley Shyly, Not Smiley, Over Wily Topless Shots

miley_cyrus_topless_1.jpgYou'd think that after coming face-to-cervix with Britney's and Lohan's ham tunnels, we'd maybe be a little jaded about a vaguely "sexy" picture of a teen starlet. You'd think that, but you'd think wrong, because apparently a brou-ha-ha is brou-ing over some topless shots of Hannah Montana that appear in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. In the accompanying article, Miley Cyrus says,
“I think it’s really artsy. It wasn’t in a skanky way.… And you can’t say no to Annie. She’s so cute. She gets this puppy-dog look and you’re like, O.K.”
However, now that the mag is out, Miley isn't singing a happy song (lookit that clever play on words. We learned that from Star!):
“I was so honored and thrilled to work with Annie [Leibovitz]. I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.”
Disney's statement:
“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.”
Oh, kind of like how a fifteen-year-old is manipulated into selling lunch boxes and Trapper Keepers and $1000 concert tickets? Yeah, kind of like that. Anyway, we don't really see the big deal about the pictures. She's showing 1/3 of her back. The last time the public got this worked up over so little skin, it was in 1906, when Gibson Girl model Hattie Mae Brunfield went to the nickelodeon sans swan-bill corset and with a sleeve rolled up to bare one delicate, ivory elbow. And lo, how we swooned with outrage!

miley_cyrus_topless_2.jpg miley_cyrus_topless_3.jpg miley_cyrus_topless_4.jpg
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April 24, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: A Whole Bundch of Side Boob

Gisele_Bundchen_side_boob.jpg• Gisele gifts us with the side of her supermodel superbooble. (Drunken Stepfather)

• All hail the Poshycat Doll. (Daily Stab)

• Kids, heed the sad tale of Naomi Campbell's hairline: weave abuse leads to baldness. (Yeeeah!)

• Rihanna has a crotch that emits mystical hot pink beams! (Cityrag)

• More Mischa Barton titty buttons from Closing the Ring. Now with video! (Egotastic!)

• Julia Roberts stinks. (FemaleFirst)

• Julianne Moore shows Moore of herself. Namely, nipples. (Fatback)

• Billie Piper flashed a peck of freckled poppers. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Amy Winehouse spends a night being dainty and demure. (CelebWarship)

• Miley Cyrus in a typical MySpace picture pose. I.e., with exposed underwear. (Pop Crunch)

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February 14, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Stealin' Babies and Batteries

britney adnan.jpg• Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib, married? Married? Yeah, married. Married? Yeah, married! Sheesh! (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Miley Cyrus publicly apologizes for not wearing her seat belt. No seat belt is a slippery slope that leads headlong into Crotchflashtown and San Rehabton. (IMDb)

• Emma "Hermione" Watson gets slimed by Kirsten Dunst's leftovers. (The Sun)

• Bai Ling arrested for hamburglaring some gossip rags and a pack of batteries from an airport gift shop. Maybe she wanted to power up her G-spotter to use while gazing at herself in the fashion "What Were They Thinking?" section. (Celebitchy)

• Oh, shut your tamalehole, J. Lo. Nobody wants to steal your dumb old crusty old babies. (The Blemish)

• The Madamism of Hollywood. Waylon Flowers would be delighted. (Cityrag)

• Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, that sitter of hers is A number one. (HolyTaco)

• Amy Winehouse upgrades to Blake v. 2.0: all the creepiness none of the jail. Now with Magic-Gro Hair! (The Superficial)

• Aguilera debuts her infink. (Daily Stab)

• Kristen Bell gets rung! (Don't Link This)

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September 24, 2007

Don't Tell My Heart, My Preggy Preggy Heart

what the hell.jpg We here at CelebNewsWire used to have standards. We only paid attention to people who were famous for something. Sure, that something could be a night-vision sex tape, but it had to be something. Then came Kim Kardashian and her huge ass and we just couldn't ignore it. We also refused to pay any attention to anyone whose fame sprouted out of the Disney channel, mostly because those little sass-talking manufactured tweens make us feel really, really old and we don't like that. Then came Vanessa Hudgens and her shocking! nude! photos! and our resolve was once again breached. So we give up. The next time we across That's So Raven in a bikini, we'll cover it. Dylan and Cole Sprouse cause a traffic jam by riding their Big Wheels on the freeway? We're there. Dubious source claims that fifteen-year-old Hannah Montana has been spending her Disney downtime baking up a baby in her lady cavity? We're on it. more »
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