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filed under: Michelle Williams

July 24, 2008

Michelle Williams Takes a Bite of Drew Barrymore's Leftovers

michelle_spike.jpgUgh. Be prepared for gossip rag onslaught of stories about how "Michelle learns to love after the pain". Seven months after the death of her former fiance Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams is making tentative steps back into the dating world by quietly seeing director Spike Jonze. Sez The Daily Mail:
American magazine Star reports Williams was seen kissing Jonze outside his Lower East Side Manhattan apartment on July 2nd. An onlooker told the publication: 'Michelle kissed Spike with a closed mouth on the corner of his lips. There was definitely a bit of caressing going on. She was clutching his arm. The body language was very romantic.'

Williams first met Jonze in 2006 when she auditioned for his film adaptation of the Maurice Sendak children's book Where The Wild Things Are. She was offered a part, but later withdrew from the film. Actress Chloe Sevigny, who also auditioned for the movie, said last year: 'I auditioned for Spike Jonze on Where The Wild Things Are, but Michelle Williams got the part. She's much prettier than me.'
Why don't you make some jam out of those grapes, Chloe? And at any rate, that sighting of Michelle and Spike doesn't seem as "romantic" as they're making it out. We kiss our grandpa on the corner of his mouth and clutch his arm when we take him out for Yankee pot roast and Sanka at Perkins on Sundays. Wait, where are we going with this? Chloe Sevigny is marketing a line of fruity spreads and Michelle Williams is fucking your grandpa? Sure, let's go with it. more »
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March 11, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Weird and Scary

ashley-olsen-squat.jpgAshley Olsen thinks paparazzi are "weird and scary". Also, paparazzi thinks Ashley Olsen is "weird and scary". (Female First)

Kate Beckinsale does Anna Karina for Mean magazine. Eat your tits out, Lohan-as-Marilyn! (Popbytes)

Kate Moss models. She doesn't model clothes, though, since it seems she's not wearing any. (Egotastic!)

Mischa Barton's recent DUI charges haven't affected the buoyant spirits of her side boob much. (Taxi Driver)

Star Jones is set to divorce husband Al Reynolds, because she "felt Al had spent their marriage riding her success while she did all the heavy lifting". Either that, or Al spent their marriage riding hot, oiled-up dudes who look like they do a lot of heavy lifting. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Some yahoo called 911 on Heather Locklear and told them she was going to kill herself. Denise Richards, you prankster. (CelebWarship)

• Heath Ledger never updated his will to include Michelle Williams or baby Matilda. (Celebridiot)

• Button, button, who's got the button? Patricia Heaton sure doesn't. WTF? (Drunken Stepfather)

Jenna Jameson dresses up as Bettie Page for PETA. "I'd rather get donkey-punched after ATM than wear fur!" makes for a pleasant catchphrase. (The Blemish)

Janet Jackson has been hospitalized with the flu. Much more plausible than "Exhaustion", to be sure. (I'm Not Obsessed)

Rebecca Romijn's lettuce heads. They're ripe, they're healthy, they're shilling for mall-slut store Bebe! (Popoholic)
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September 04, 2007

Brokeup Mountain

michelle and heath fuck off.jpg Our favorite bundles of love and sunshine have reportedly broken up. Reports MSNBC:
The three-year romance between “Brokeback Mountain” stars Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams is officially over, according to Us Weekly.

A source close to the couple confirmed the split to the magazine. “The relationship had been rocky recently. They tried very hard to make it work but finally decided to separate. They just grew apart.”

The source also told Us Weekly that despite the amicable parting, one thing would always bond them. “They have a beautiful daughter and they are both committed to being great parents.”

Their daughter, Matilda, was born in 2005, just a year after the couple met on the “Brokeback” set.
They must have felt guilty for monopolizing all that joy and happiness and confining it in one relationship. Seriously, when two people seem to be so god damn miserable all the time, they should stick together instead of polluting the dating pool with their dourness. It's the same with extreme stupidity. You wouldn't want the Beckhams to unleash their brainpower on unsuspecting, possibly mildly intelligent singles, would you? more »
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August 16, 2006

Your Childhood Toys, All Grown Up

michelleheathfoff.jpg

Aw, look. Herself the Elf and My Pet Monster got married. more »
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May 24, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: Cleavage, Cleavage, Cleavage

Nicole Richie and DJ AM have officially broken up. Apparently, he's disgusted by Nicole's extreme weight loss method of not eating, while he lost over a hundred pounds the old fashioned way: by having a team of doctors reduce his stomach to the size of a butterbean, then saw off all his excess skin with scalpels.

• Ryan Seacrest pulls a Heather Chandler.

Naomi Campbell "keeps new man quiet". By beating his larynx clean out of his throat with a Sidekick.

• Beginning our special cleavage (un)coverage from Cannes: Halle Berry's berries!

• Up next: Elizabeth Hurley, trotting out her old girls!

• And finally, Alyssa Milano's Micelli mams! A stupendous showing! Props to all!

Michelle Rodriguez is heading back to jail. Must be a dream come true for her.

Michelle Williams's dad was jailed for tax evasion. Maybe he and Lindsay Lohan's father can break out the jug and harmonica and form a prison band.

• Penn Jillette and wife name newborn son Zolten, because they want him to grow up to tell fortunes.

Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell names her newborn daughter Bluebell Madonna, because she wants her to be a magical pet rabbit that strips.
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March 02, 2006

Michelle Williams: Unholy, Goat-Slaying, Baby-Eating Heathen

Sure, the lovely and talented Michelle Williams looks innocent enough, with her beatific, wide-mouthed smile, her angelic blonde locks, the newborn babe cradled in her ivory arms. But that chaste exterior conceals the demon within: a rack-baring, gay-movie-starring-in, out-of-wedlock-baby-having ogre. more »
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February 02, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: RARE OOP JORDAN BOOBS BREASTS JUGS EMO L@@K!

Katie Holmes: putting the "tard" in "unitard".

Penelope Cruz dons the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow bikini, sans polka dots.

Reese was like "OMG I totes slept through the Oscar noms cuz I sooo don't care, whateverrrrr, tee hee hee" and then Heath and Michelle were all "Oh like us too, that illegitimate baby of ours can be a real shit so we were catching some Z's and like we got nominated and didn't even know it cuz we are sooo coooool LOL" and then we were like, "shut up, asswipes."

Elle MacPherson toasts her tater tots in the sun. Again. Plus bonus Kylie Minogue shots (maybe old, but those breasts look perfectly healthy and cancer-free to us).

• Love is blind. Really, really, really blind: Zach Braff and Mandy Moore to wed.

• Crazy, cardboard-colored, bewigged Jordan is going to update her tits, trading her 32FFs for a more "pert" pair, and selling the old ones on eBay (natch). "I've had them eight years now," she says of her old pair. That's like 48 in fake tit years.

Lisa Loeb ponies up a little bra to match the thong. Either she's really desperate for attention or she just likes to show off her underoos. Either way, you have an erection.
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January 26, 2006

Michelle Williams Displays Her Tail Feathers in The Hawk Is Dying

We figured that after Dawson's Creek ended most of the show's principles would go the way of the cast of Degrassi Junior High and we'd wonder what ever happened to them in twenty years. But gawky Katie Holmes managed to land herself the role of a lifetime as Tom Cruise Wifebot #3, and bad girl Michelle Williams is doing her best to keep up. more »
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January 23, 2006

Save Your $9.50: Barerack Mountains

There are four reasons to see Brokeback Mountain and they ain't gorgeous cinematography, a compelling storyline, delightful acting and a spare yet moving score. No, gentle reader, we speak of the four collective naked breasts of Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams, and if you want to see them right the hell now, you will click on the little arrow thingie right here that says "More". more »
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September 19, 2005

Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams Gat Naked for Some Gay Cowboys in Brokeback Mountain

We’ve all been hearing about Ang Lee’s gay cowboy movie Brokeback Mountain for at least a year now, what with the hunky, hunky kiss between Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. But it wasn’t until recently that the female cast members started getting some attention. Those cowboys may not actually be as gay as we thought, as they both have some fun with naked females. For Heath Ledger it’s real-life fiancée/baby incubator Michelle Williams, who shows her breasts during and after sex with Ledger. Michelle has previously given us quite a bit of nudity in Me Without You and If These Walls Could Talk 2. We are more interested in Jake Gyllenhaal’s bedmate, Anne Hathaway. We are still more than two months away from the DVD release of Havoc (we think there are already people lined up outside of Best Buy waiting for their copy), but if Anne keeps going at this rate she’s going to be the next Jenna Jameson by about February. Here she only shows a quick flash of breasts in the backseat of a car with Gyllenhaal, but it will be a nice addition to her alleged all-out freakiness in Havoc. Brokeback Mountain will be realeased theatrically December 9th.
More of Michelle and Anne at MrSkin.com.
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Toronto 2005: Update on the Boobs

Late on Friday afternoon we brought you news of all the noteworthy nudes appearing at the Toronto Film Festival, but we understand that by three o’clock on a Friday afternoon most of you are either passed out drunk on the office liquor stash or you have placed a look-alike blow-up doll in your desk chair and are off to find your dealer (his supply usually runs short on the weekends). So to better serve you, our delinquent readers, we will update our earlier post with more juicy nudie details. more »
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September 16, 2005

BREAKING NUDES: Toronto Film Fest 2005

For the past week some of our most eagle-eyed boob afficianadoes have been braving the dangerous streets of Toronto, bugging out their eyes at film after film searching for those wayward nips and flashes of gash. And boy did they ever find some. more »
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