filed under: Michelle Trachtenberg

We're having one of those days where we try to focus on something, but then we get distracted. Just a few minutes ago we were trying to finish our morning rails, when mid-line we looked out the window and saw a furry little bunny hopping through the grass. Our head darted up, we cooed, "Oooh, bunny," and coke went blowing everywhere. It was a mess. So we think it's best to let some pictures entertain you this morning. To the left, notice the deep and enticing cleave on Winona Ryder. Now hold that image in you head, because after the cut we'll be showing you some images of a more disturbing nature. more »

Lindsay Lohan must be losing faith in her level of celebrity and her ability to pick A-list feuds, as her latest is with former Buffy star Michelle Trachtenberg, who's biggest claim to fame in recent years has been playing Brian Boitano to Kim Cattrall's Linda Leaver in Ice Princess. According to MSNBC:

The “Mean Girls” star caused a stir at Miami Beach’s Shore Club recently when she spotted Trachtenberg across the room.

“Those two hate each other, and Lindsay started screaming, ‘Get her the [bleep] outta here!” an “eyewitness” told the tab. “She was threatening to get physical and actually fight Michelle, saying, ‘I’ll kick her [bleeping] [bleep]!”

Lohan reportedly left Shore Club shortly after the outburst.

Since Lindsay's starlet catfights always seem to revolve around her dick of the week (see Hilary Duff/Aaron Carter, Scarlett Johansson/Jordan Catalano), there is only one conclusion to be drawn from this: Lindsay has decided she must have a four-foot pseudo goth with velvet pants, eyeliner, and a monkey fetish. Watch out, Petey Wentz, Lindsay's coming for you. more »

• Angelina and Brad are reportedly adopting an Indian baby as we speak. Because African babies are soooo early-to-mid October 2k6.

• Please, for the love of all that is good and holy in this mortal world, will someone, anyone, shoot a tranq dart into Naomi Campbell's neck?

• Rush Limbaugh accuses Parkinson's sufferer Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his symptoms in a political ad, saying, "He is moving around and shaking, and it is purely an act." Seriously, dude! And remember when Christopher Reeve was tooling around in a wheelchair with a trach tube? Also totally all an act. Fucker was just lazy and tired of walking and breathing. Some Superman!

• DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, has moved on from Nicole Richie to nice Jewish girl Michelle Trachtenberg. His bubby is so pleased.

• For the reasonable price of $100,000, Paris Hilton will come to your New Year's Eve party 3 hours late, sit in a corner and text furiously on her Sidekick for 20 minutes, perhaps flash an assflap or two, then leave.

• Sandra Bullock had sexual intercourse on Sunday night.

• Federline the Younger is actually named Jayden James. SPF squared, we hardly knew ye.

• Tara Reid said that her nipples "looked like goose-shaped eggs". Not goose eggs. Eggs, shaped like geese. Nipples like thin shells with webbed feet and beaks and wings holding albumen and yolk. Yup. That's what Tara Reid's nipples looked like.

First, Mischa Barton unleashed her O.Cans onto an unsuspecting but ultimately grateful audience in a movie called The OH in Ohio. And now, wee Michelle Trachtenberg has, with much fanfare, lain bare her buttocks in a movie called Beautiful Ohio. Proving once and for all that Ohio is indeed the sexiest state in the union. more »

• Maggie Gyllenhaal's been impregnated by, and is now engaged to, Peter Sarsgaard. Congrats, Gaardhaal.

• We told you about Sienna Miller supposedly being snapped doing some career-threateningly embarrassing cavorting at a VF party. Here are the pics. BFD.

• Kristanna Loken: if you're Loken for an upskirt shot, you've found one.

• Jennifer Love Hewitt says that Fez is a dirty liar and that she absolutely did not take a ride on his baloney pony.

• Keri Russell, NAKED in a magazine. However, it's Vanity Fair, so there's no real Felicity felititty.

• Women want Kelly Brook's body. They want her body baaad.

• Paris Hilton shows off her sultry pipes. And for once, we're not talking about her poon chasm.

• That little girl from Pete and Pete is now a plumber.

• Mariah Carey's foxy ex-boyfriend upgrades to Cindy Crawford. She's planning on leaving her husband and moving into her new love's refrigerator box in Shantytown, USA.