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filed under: Michael Bolton

November 12, 2007

When a Man Impregnates a Woman, Can't Keep His Mind on Nothin' Else

There's something in the water over at the Desperate Housewives lot. Something fertile in the water. Something fertile that makes 40+ biddies magically pregnant. Although it's not been 100% confirmed, a source on the set claims that Nicolette Sheridan, the former concubine of both Leif Garrett AND Harry Hamlin is knocked up with a Michael Bolton baby:

"She's absolutely glowing and her pregnancy is the buzz of the set. She kept asking Felicity and Marcia about how the pregnancy would change her appearance and if it would make her hair thinner."

Well, it's good to know that even through the magic of new life, Nicolette is still lookin' out for number one. "Hey, Nicolette, congratulations on your new baby! Is it a boy or a girl?" "I dunno. STOP LOOKING AT MY SCALP! YOU CAN SEE MY SCALP, CAN'T YOU? CAN'T YOU!?!?!?!?!?" more »

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March 15, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: Like a Virgin

• A slight look at Kelly Hu's Hu-ters.

• Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest dating? She says she "really enjoys his company". Well, duh. He knows about all the sample sales ahead of time, and he's so fun to enjoy a decadant whipped yogurt (only 140 creamy, dreamy calories!) with, while getting a deep tissue massage!

• OMG! Victoria's Secret is that Adriana Lima is a total virgin!!!

• Whoa, here she comes. Watch out, boy, Lindsay Lohan will chew you up.

• Sorry, ladies! Handsome beef-a-roni hunk Jack Black is officially off the market.

• Sorry again, ladies! Studly demigod Michael Bolton is also officially off the market. Enjoy that, Nicolette Sheridan.

• Jessica Alba is officially sexy, we know, but now Scarlett Johansson has been deemed certifiably pretty. Good to know.

• "Little black book" is just one of the many practical purposes served by Pam Anderson's grotesquely colossal plastic breasts.

• We mourn the demise of the leg man. If you're one of them, you will probably want to look into Paulina Rubio. Damn, that tomato's got some nice pegs.

• Paris Hilton prepares to get back to 1985 after harnessing a bolt of lightning hitting the clock tower.

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January 23, 2006

What Happens When You're Dumped for Michael Bolton

Nicolette Sheridan's spurned, nonfamous ex-fiance wants to tell the world about what a bad lover his former main squeeze is. Obligatory "now who's Desperate!" joke here. We're really phonin' it in today. more »

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