CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.
Jennifer Lopez did it! After complaining that everyone was paying attention to and talking about Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps when she was training for a triathlon 6 months after giving birth, she finished her triathlon and has captured the unwavering attention of all! Oh wait, except nobody cared and Michael Phelps hosted SNL. Whoops. US Weekly says:
Jennifer Lopez completed the Nautica Malibu Triathlon in 2 hours, 23 minutes and 38.8 seconds
on Sunday.
The singer, 39, pumped her arms in the air and smiled broadly as she crossed the finish line of the swimming-running-biking event.
"Thank you guys so much," she told the crowd. "I feel really great and so glad I finished and that I made it out of the water but more amazing than that, I feel really great that we raised $127,000 for the Children's Hospital [of Los Angeles] and hopefully it'll go to good use."
Bronzed stallion/actor Matthew McConaughey also participated and finished the race in one hour, 30 minutes, 44 seconds. So not only did he beat J. Lo, time-wise, he beat her in the "hottest tits in a wet suit" category.
When contemplating what stories to cover this morning, we thought, "Eh, who cares about girls in bikinis or which drug won out in Amy Winehouse's nightly intoxication lottery? We want to hear Matthew McConaughey talking about his newborn son's wiener!" So here you have Mr. JK Livin' with his son, Levi, and high-tech incubation machine, Camila Alves, on the cover of OK! magazine. Notice the look of joy on Camila's face, Matthew's stoic pride, and little Levi's eager-to-please enthusiasm for life. Oh, did we say life? We meant weed. Enthusiasm for weed. It's as if the trio was playing a little puff-puff-give while the photographer set up the snap and the joint had to be cruelly yanked from between McConaughey the younger's lips just seconds before the flash went off. But accompanying this heartwarmingprofitable family portrait is an even better interview with typical McConaughey nuggets. Some highlights:
"Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music."
"We ended up having an epidural because, on the large contractions, the umbilical cord was being compressed. They went in and tried the vacuum. This is where I learned and no one tells you this but having a baby is a bloody, pukey, sweaty, primeval thing! And I mean that as a beautiful thing. It is wild. But the vacuum didn't work, and the doctor said, 'C-section.'"
"I said, 'Come here, little man. I saw the pecker and screamed that we'd been right all along about him being a boy. Then I brought him over to her [Camila].'"
The one thing we think when we encounter interviews with Matthew McConaughey is, "Why can't he be more open? He's just so guarded." We're guessing the full OK! interview holds a description of what a dilated vagina looks like close up.
And just because we can, here's the trailer for Matthew's upcoming cinematic masterpiece Surfer, Dude. We think Matt, Woody Harrelson, and Willie Nelson probably got together one day to concoct a way to make the moviegoing experience truly special by constructing each movie ticket entirely out of weed. But someone probably pulled out the bong before this theatrical marvel could be fully planned out. What a loss.
You know that picture of you at 8 months old? The one depicting you with one hand down your diaper and the other using one of your own fekes as a writing utensil on the dining room wall? The one your mom lovingly calls "Harold and the Poople Crayon" that she likes to whip out when you bring dates over? Imagine that picture is worth more than your salary times twenty, and you know what it's like to be Jessica Alba's daughter or Matthew McConaughey's son. Both Alba and McCon have brokered deals to whore out lovingly sell photographs of their precious spawn to magazines for a sweet, sweet price. According to TMZ:
TMZ has learned Honor Marie Warren, celebuspawn of Jessica Alba and hubby Cash Warren, is now $1.5 million richer thanks to OK! Magazine.
We're hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other "event" -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved.
Two-month-old Honor, we're told, is just "adorable" and the pictures, taken this week, are "so cute."
1.5 clams buys a lot of Baby Bjorns and Zwieback crackers, to be sure, but Honor Warren is actually as poor as Firecrotch Lohan circa 2006 in the race for the priciest baby pics. Our personal photo broker, Female First, says:
Matthew McConaughey has reportedly sold photos of his new son for $3 million.
The 'Fool's Gold' actor and model girlfriend Camila Alves - who welcomed Levi, their first child together, earlier this week - are said to have signed a deal with America's OK! magazine to publish the first pictures of the little boy.
What makes one baby worth twice as much as another? What does Levi have that Honor doesn't? Perhaps we should go by the parents and assume that Honor sat for her shoot, sour-faced, demanding a body double for her diaper scenes while Levi let it all hang out, even humping some sand on a beach and sharing a weed pacifier with the camera crew. more »
Hold onto your Huggies, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, there's a charming new stud in town. Welcome to the world, Baby Boy McConaughey! That's right--golden-bronzed bongo bopper Matthew McConaughey took the toothbrush out of his mouth long enough to help his girlfriend, model Camila Alves, deliver their first child yesterday. US Weekly gives a few more details:
Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves welcomed their first child into the world Monday afternoon in Los Angeles. Alves gave birth to the as-yet-unnamed baby at 6:22 p.m. local time weighing 7 lb., 4 oz.
The baby was reportedly born with sweet abs, wearing Jamz. In lieu of stogies, McCon passed around an "It's a boy!' gravity bong.
UPDATE: The little dude has a name. Mac and Camila released the following statement:
"We welcome Levi Alves McConaughey into this wonderful life and look forward to living in it with him. In the mean time and all times, just keep livin'."
Matthew David McConaughey and Camila Maria Saraiva de Araujo Alves
And now we know: What to Expect When You're Expecting does not have a chapter on not using your movie character's catchphrases in your baby's birth announcement.
We're guessing that Matthew McConaughey's full o' fetus female friend Camila Alves doesn't expect Matt to stay home nights knitting baby booties and watching America's Got Talent. That's just not his style. So she's probably not all that surprised to hear about him L-I-V-I-N it up in Nicaragua dancing with girls and bellyaching about his lost flip flop. She's more likely sad that she wasn't around to help in the search. We hear she's got a nose like McGruff. The New York Daily News reports of Matt's good time:
Tip No. 1 from Matthew McConaughey's guide for fathers-to-be: Don't let your lady's pregnancy stop you from partying down with other ladies.
Never mind that his Brazilian model girlfriend, Camila Alves, is due to give birth next month. A mighty thirsty McConaughey had to be helped out of a Nicaraguan bar the other night after dancing with an assortment of babes, says a witness.
The "Sahara" star headed there to surf, but ended up on June 6 at a cantina called the Iguana in San Juan Del Sur. Perhaps his wave-riding left him exhausted. McConaughey was said to have been seen later resting in a ditch.
Recharged, McConaughey was back at the Iguana the next night for more fun. A female patron, who gave her name as Amber Poe, says he laid his considerable charm on her and her roommate but lost his cool when he couldn't find his flip-flops. "He stood on a table, screaming in broken Spanish, I've lost my flip-flops,'" says Poe.
When he realized one lady was taking pictures of his antics, a heavy-lidded McConaughey grabbed her camera, says Poe. Later, she says, he tried to kiss her.
McConaughey denies any untoward advances but admits imbibing. "Drunk?" he told us via e-mail. "Absolutely. Nicaragua is a beautiful place, epic waves, the best surfing I have ever been on. And yes, I'm STILL looking for my left flip-flop. So if anyone finds it floating around down there (it has 6:22 stitched into the side), please send it my way. There is a reward."
We are furiously researching Matteo's shoe size and trying to figure out how to stitch into rubber, because we just KNOW that Matthew's idea of a reward is letting you sit in on his naked bongo session and passing the doobie every couple of minutes. Which we'd definitely take over a crisp twenty any day.
And in case Matthew's missing-flip-flop reward isn't enough for you, Star magazine gets into flirting details, complete with drunken pics.
Your wedding and baby photos: You pay $3.79 at the Walgreens photo kiosk for a stack of glossy 8x10s. Famous people's wedding and baby photos: Magazines pay them millions of dollars to run the images for the whole world to see. That hard-won managerial position at Hot Topic seemed like a pretty sweet gig last week, didn't it? But to think, if only you were Pete Wentz, People magazine would pay you $1 million to show off your MySpace hair on their pages. That's a sweet gig. TMZ reports:
At least someone cares enough to pay cold hard cash for pregnant bride Ashlee Simpson's wedding pics!
Sources tell us People mag is shelling out "well over" one milllll-ion dollars (yes, as in seven figures) for pictures of Ash and guylinered Pete Wentz. That's probably more than she's made -- total -- from her "singing."
For their part, the mag says, "We're thrilled that celebrities continue to choose PEOPLE as the place to share their most intimate photos. We do not comment on specifics of any deals."
That's a lot of money to see some guy in a ripped up hoodie and skinny jeans mumble "Yeah sure" in response to "Do you take this woman . . . "
Also raking in the big bucks for doing a whole bunch of nothing: Matthew McConaughey. TMZ again:
Matthew McConaughey and baby mama Camila Alves are busy doing what all expectant parents do -- fielding million dollar offers for pictures of their kid!
TMZ has learned that McConaughey has hired "brand agent" Todd Shemarya -- who's already brokered deals for Brangelina and Xtina -- to help pull in some serious dough for photos of his child. So far, Mattyboy's gotten offers from three different publications -- EACH OVER A MILLION BUCKS! And the price is still climbing.
No word if the baby is a boy or girl -- but either way it's gonna be a cash cow. What happened to the bongo drumming, "just keep living" McConaughey we all knew and loved? Guess he's got to find some way to keep paying for all those shirts -- ya know, the ones he never wears.
The propmaster for the photo shoot may have her work cut out for her, as we're sure little Bud McC will have a toothbrush in one hand and a tallboy in the other. It will be so precious to see how much the little one takes after Daddy.
You remember that girl in your high school who got knocked up junior year and ended up naming the kid Boone because "the little fucker wouldn't exist if it weren't for Strawberry Hill" and then thanked Jeebus that her loser ex-boyfriend couldn't afford Jager? That girl should set up a play date with Matthew McConaughey's forthcoming spawn, who's set to be named after Matt's favorite beer. Our personal brewmaster, FemaleFirst, reports:
Matthew McConaughey wants to name his unborn son after his favourite beer.
The 'Fool's Gold' star - who is expecting his first baby with girlfriend Camila Alves - is planning to pay tribute to his beloved alcoholic beverage, just like his brother.
A source close to the actor said: "Matthew's older brother Michael named his second son Miller Lyte because he loved the beer so much. And Matthew loved the name so much he really wants to name his son after his favourite beer. He is thinking of going for Bud after Budweiser beer."
However, Brazilian model Camila is less than impressed with his choice of name.
The source added: "Camila is pretty old-fashioned. She hates the name and won't let Matthew push her into this."
Miller f'ing Lyte? Seriously? Not Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, or Bartles Jaymes? After that, Matthew's suggestion of Bud seems a bit lame. But ultimately we're disappointed that Matteo has overlooked some of the best baby-naming possibilities. Why not J.K. Livin' McConaughey? Or for a real mindblower, why not Bong O. McConaughey? It works on so many levels and brings Matthew's two true loves together in nomenclatural form.
Like cobbler elves in the night, Photoshop gnomes sneak into Hollywood workshops and gleefully enlarge the breasts of starlets on movie posters. The latest victim of surreptitious titty-embiggening? Perky Kate Hudson, who was surprised by her voluptuous figure on the poster for the upcoming Fool's Gold. She told The Sun:
"Those aren't my breasts. They are totally not my boobs. My boobs aren't that big. On the poster they look perfect, they look great."
We've not yet heard from Matthew McConaughey regarding the status of his breasts on the poster, though they look like a curiously buoyant A, possibly even a small B, minus any semblance of natural sag and with plenty of luscious, artfully shaded cleave. Highly suspicious. more »
Just like your 35-year-old spinster sister, Hollywood is baby crazy. We're beginning to think that Governor Arnold secretly passed a law that every showbiz personality must spawn by the year 2010 or be forced to spend two years working the craft services table. Jennifer Aniston better start prepping her uterus, because we hear she's a mess with a chafing dish.
more »
In today's "Preposterous rumor, but it's a slow news day so what the hell" news, Matthew McConaughey was spotted walking with his girlfriend, a model named Camilla Alves. And he was wearing a ring on his left hand, so folks are automatically saying that the couple were secretly married. We don't know about you guys, but if we got married and wanted to keep it a secret, we probably would not wear a ring on our wedding finger. Then again, this is Matthew McConaughey, who is not exactly known for his towering intellect or ability to pull one over on the little people. He probably tried to leave the house in a full tuxedo with top hat and tails, empty cans on streamers tied to his belt loops and a "Just Married" sign on his back, saying, "Look, secret wife! I am in dusk-guys! I'm going to shield my face from view with this marriage certificate! No one will ever know!"
Britney sideswiped some dude's car, and then popped a squat to survey the damage. But the real damage is her to'-up upskirt view. Ooooh, high five, girlfriends! So bitchy! (Drunken Stepfather)
If that ain't enough for you, here's some Britney pantaloons. (Cityrag)
The beautiful Lauryn Hill is bringing Skidz back, at long last! (Socialite's Life)
We've been seeing the crazypictures from Matthew McConaughey's upcoming movie Surfer Dude for a couple of months now, and every time we've thought, "This is going to be the greatest extreme-sports-themed movie since Gleaming the Cube, or maybe Thrashin'." And now, thanks to McConaughey's ongoing desire to prove to all of America that he thinks that boners are icky (unless, of course, it is his own, being plunged deep inside a female's totally womanly and not at all masculine vagina), Surfer Dude will be even better than we could have hoped--thanks to lots and lots of boobies and wet, slippery lesbo action. TMZ reports (via Yeeeah!):
A source on the set of Matts new film, Surfer Dude, [says] that during a recent pool party scene that featured a bunch of female extras in bathing suits, McConaughey, who is also a producer on the movie, told the ladies if they took their tops off they would get more money for their time. Many of the women agreed. With the female extras in all their bare-bosomed glory, Matt then requested girl-on-girl action for the scene. His request was not met with any complaints and only one extra left the set.
We're guessing that this project started out as a contemplative search for a surfer's inner soul through waves, all-beef franks eaten on the pier, and Walt Whitman read under moonlight, much like Dylan McKay's lost beach-club days, only with fewer baja shirts, but by the time McConaughey's finished with the script-tweaking, it will be one hour and forty-nine minutes of the entire cast naked, passing doobs, and jamming on their bongos. Which, to be honest, we'd still pay $9.50 to see.
Kelly Brook's underwear can be yours. In fact, Kelly Brook's underwear can be anybody's now.
Suzanne Somers wrote a new book about hormone replacement therapy being the fountain of youth. Before you go clamoring to pick up a copy and a side of progesterone, have a gander at the results. Sweet fancy Moses on a cracker!
Heather Mills is alleging that Paul McCartneyroughed her up during their marriage. Oh, please. That's like saying you got roofied by Cat Stevens. Paul McCartney? Macca? Seriously? The worst we can picture is him smoking a laced doob and giving a half-hearted slap with some organic radishes or something.
The wrestlers of the WWE had their way with Kevin Federline the other night. And while the pictures of K-Fed getting body-slammed in the ring are pleasant enough, we can't help but yearn for the quality WWF days of our youth and wish that Junkyard Dog and the Iron Sheik would join forces to tag-team Federline, while Lou Albano shot rubber bands from the sidelines and afterwards, Rowdy Roddy Piper would make a man out of K-Fed during a Backlot Brawl.
Part of an ongoing, helpful series in which we lend a friendly helping hand and brainstorm Halloween costume ideas, so you don't have to!
Step 1: Wax or shave chest. Women may skip ahead to Step 3.
Step 2: Apply bronzer liberally all over entire body.
Step 3: Pillage local thrift shop or wacky uncle's closet. Procure Jamz shorts, preferably clamdigger style.
Step 4: Insert toothbrush into mouth, roam around on Pacific Coast Highway.
Matthew: See this, buttmunches? I'm with a girl. A hot girl. I am so not gay. I even put on a shirt to prove that I don't want that yummy concierge looking at my totally ripped pecs. I don't care if he does have an ass that's as tight as Janet Jackson's weave. Cause I've got a girl. And last night I gave it to her good. Right in her . . . her . . .
Hey, Pen, what's that thing called again? Oh, right, her vagina. Mmmm, I love vaginas. They're so hard and long and . . . covered in scales . . . and I love it when they dangle like a limp piece of spaghetti. Vaginas are where it's at, brah. more »
Lance: So those are the things that we're supposed to get all hot in the crotch over? I just don't get it. Do you get it, Matt? Matt: Nah, man. Let's stop wasting our time staring at a couple lumps of fat and go smoke some herb, put on our spandex, and run around the track for an hour while we smack each other's asses.
Lance: Sounds cool to me. more »
After toking a greater amount of marijuana than he did preceeding his naked, bongo-related arrest in 1999, Matthew McConaughey recently achieved a state of oneness with the Earth so real, so complete, that he was compelled to mount Mother Nature herself and, with a mighty roar, impregnate her with his gloriously tanned and toned seed.
Matthew McConaughey beat some rape charges. Which is actually kind of easy to do when your accuser is a foaming-at-the-mouth loonybird who claims she turned down MM's proposal of marriage while they were studying Scientology and then he tried to kill her after knocking her out with drugged milk.
Ashlee Simpson ponies up a little areola. Her yams look pretty nice. It's a shame about the makeup, though.
We know Lohan gives Spuds McKenzie a run for his money in the "original party animal" category, but the fact that the cast of a show that works under cover of night, fueled on various stimulants, had to stage an intervention is just sad.
Mandy Moore's parents were holed up in her basement, playing World of Warcraft and smoking bongs, posting on Doctor Who message boards and refusing to get jobs, so she kicked their lard asses to the damn curb.
If Tony Parker hadn't come along and made an honest woman out of Eva Longoria, she would have been straddling tables at nightclubs, inserting a Jeff Stryker Cock n' Balls into her netherholes instead of just talking about it.
K-Hole asked for (and got) an epidural while crapping out Suri Cruise. Brutal, hateful, extra-long auditing session TK.
Hahahahahaa Mellencamp hahaha hahaha ha ha haahahaha McConaughey hahahahahahaha Pink Houses hahahahahahaha bongos hee hee hee hee hee. Oh, we can't hear anything over the sound of our own LOLing over here. more »
It has been revealed that Matthew McConaughey is not just a naked, pot-smoking, bongo-playing hippie; he is also a champion wrestler in Africa. Perhaps next he will reveal that his laid-back perpetual smile is actually his way of saying "I could kill you with my bare hands." more »