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filed under: Marisa Tomei

March 10, 2008

Marisa Tomei Demands a Clean Pole

marisa tomei finger gun.jpeg Marisa Tomei has seemingly been on a mission of late to prove to the world that she has breasts, and dadgummit, she doesn't give two farts who knows it. But while she doesn't mind showing her candy to strangers, producers better leave room in the budget for about 80 cubic tons of Lysol, cause girl does not like dirt near her hoo-ha. PageSix.com reports:
MARISA Tomei thinks strip clubs are really dirty. The Oscar winner, who plays an ecdysiast named Cassidy in The Wrestler opposite Mickey Rourke, had scouts search New Jersey for a "clean" mammary mecca as a location for her scenes. "She wanted a place that had been disinfected from top to bottom before she'd step foot inside," said our source. "They finally found one called Stiletto, near the Meadowlands." Our spy also said Rourke relaxes by blasting rock and working out on set. Tomei's rep did not return a call or e-mail.
We think that Marisa Tomei's priorities may be just a wee bit out of whack in this situation. She won't rub her hidey hole on a pole unless all the excess clam juice has been squeegeed off of it and it's been doused in borax, but she'll consent to star in a movie that will more than likely find her in a hot, sweaty, naked embrace with this man? more »
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February 29, 2008

Paper Magazine Not a Fan of Man Butt, Mary Poppins's Bobbins

julie andrews sound of music.jpg Paper magazine knows that they f'ed up. They scored Lindsay Lohan for their cover, which they were probably pretty stoked about, and they got her to pose as if she'd just spent three days rolling around on a shag carpet with a steady stream of suitors. Pretty cool, right? Well, not when in the same month Lindsay is in another magazine really, really naked, proving that the booger sugar may have added about 20 years to her face, but her knockers are still pretty damn spectacular. Oops. So what's Paper to do? Name the "10 Worst Nude Film Scenes" and hope that people pay attention. Which is kind of an iffy prospect, as they're mostly talking about pale, flabby man ass here, and most people who are interested in celebrity nudity can just check that shit out in the mirror every day. Page Six reports:
PHILIP Seymour Hoffman's ample butt just won a dubious award - as star of one of the "10 Worst Nude Film Scenes" of all time. Paper magazine's Dennis Dermody, who compiled the list, says ever since Hoffman lay naked with Marisa Tomei in "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead," the image of "his big, bare flabby ass [is] branded on my brain." Pat rick Dempsey is feted for his full-frontal turn in "Some Girls," which "won't make you think McDreamy, but rather McTeeny." Fox NFL Sunday co-host Terry Bradshaw gets a nod for a "frightening" scene in which he feeds his aquarium fish while buck-naked and listening to hip-hop in "Failure To Launch." Donald Sutherland can take a bow for letting it all hang out as a test pilot undergoing a physical in "Space Cowboys," proving he has "the Wrong Stuff," Dermody says. Kathy Bates gets a tip of the hat for "At Play in the Fields of the Lord," in which she "covers her body with mud and runs around the jungle." And Julie Andrews isn't forgotten for whipping off her top in "S.O.B."
Did Dennis Dermody's younger sister watch The Sound of Music five times a day for their entire childhood or something? Cause we can't figure out how in the hell the scene from S.O.B. could be the worst of anything unless it brought back some serious childhood trauma. It's got Julie Andrews pulling off her top onstage like some sort of 1980s Janet Jackson, a shocked and excited Richard Mulligan, throngs of cheering stagehands, and Hot Lips Houlihan falling on her face. Awesome! We can't wait to see the rest of the list. Do they include Angelina Jolie in Gia? The shower scene in Porky's?

And for those of you who are terrified of the aforementioned pale, flabby man ass, rest assured that Philip Seymour Hoffman isn't the only nudie in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; Marisa Tomei also shows her Tomei-toes, and they're so juicy and appetizing that Mr. Skin declared it the Best Nude Scene of 2007. So if those Paper lads were alert enough to even notice PSH's presence in the scene, we think they were focusing on the wrong half of the screen. more »
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December 13, 2007

Marisa Tomei Gets Clingy

marisa-tomei-shorts-1.jpgRemember when Marisa Tomei was naked in Factotum and Before the Devil Knows You're Dead? Remember when that happened? Man, that ruled. That was so cool. We were all "Marisa Tomei! Look at her boobs! She is so cool!" Marisa continues her streak of coolness by donning some sort of shorts/diaper/bikini bottom conglomeration that is miles above and beyond a real swimsuit bottom, as the addition of water to the sheer cotton fabric makes for some sopping, clingy action that is frankly rather pleasing to the eye. Not pleasing to the eye? That dude she's with. Nice sparkly earring and Shar-Pei neck folds, guy. We half expect him to hand us a Magic Eraser, fold his arms, and wink.

marisa-tomei-shorts-2.jpg marisa-tomei-shorts-3.jpg marisa-tomei-shorts-4.jpg
more »
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November 26, 2007

Mr. Skin's Best Nude Scenes of 2007!

Mr Skin skintastic.jpg2007 will be known for a lot of things. The year we lost the incandescent talent that is Anna Nicole Smith. The year of the Virginia Tech massacre. The year Tony Blair retired. And much more importantly, a year filled with wobbling, pink-nipped bosoms floating like parade floats--really sexy parade floats--across movie screens worldwide. This was truly a banner year for cinematic skin, and who better to wrap up the greatest nude scenes of 2007 than Mr. Skin? Today, he released his much-skinticipated list of his top 20 favorites of the year, and if you'd like to release a thing or two of your own, do check it out. Will your favorite scene make the list? Will you be so infuriated that you need to fill out our comment form and register your outrage across cyberspace? Let Mr. Skin's Best Nude Scenes of 2007 be your guide to DVDs you'd like to receive from Santa. And, as an added bonus, the list is 100% Britney-free!
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September 13, 2007

Toronto Film Fest Part II: Bring in da Nudes, Bring in da Funk

keira knightly belly shirt.jpg The Toronto International Film Festival keeps delivering the tits. Today we bring you Keira Knightley really, truly naked (as opposed to covered in dripping-wet see-through fabric), new nudes from Marisa Tomei, and Rosie Perez's first baring in the nude millennium. God, we love the cinema. more »
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June 29, 2007

Marisa Tomei Furthers Movie's Plot with Breasts

Marisa_Tomei_yawn.jpgDespite her long and award-winning career, Marisa Tomei managed to keep her flushed jumblies safely under wraps for the entirety of her professional life until after age forty, when she offered up her fully ripened Tomei-toes for harvest in Factotum. And now that she's gotten a taste of the topless life, she's on the fast track to Bai-Lingtown and is pulling them out whenever the opportunity arises. In this NSFW clip from her upcoming movie Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Marisa pulls off quite a feat: letting her blammos fly free and out and naked while at the same time referencing Charles Dickens. We get the joke in the dialogue, but maybe she is also being sly and commenting on the fact that you will most certainly be feeling tight in your Dickens area while watching her. That Marisa Tomei, man. She's a master of subtext. more »
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January 31, 2006

Marisa Tomei's Factitums

If you're a dirty old perv who trolls the internet from the comfort of Mom's dark and musty basement looking for pictures of naked bodies with Natalie Portman's or Beyoncé Knowles's head superimposed on top (and we know you are) then you probably already know that Marisa Tomei shows her tomatoes for the very first time in Factotum. In fact, we told you about it nearly a year ago. But after making the rounds in nearly every country but ours, it's finally made an appearance at Sundance. So some Americans now know what Marisa's meatballs look like. Just not you. more »
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May 09, 2005

My Cousin Titty

Bukowski and Marisa Tomei's boobs: two great tastes that taste great together! more »
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