filed under: Marisa Miller

• Marisa Miller and other Victoria's Secret models at an underwear fitting. Look ma, no airbrushing. (The Blemish)

• Angelina Jolie says she's "still just a punk kid with tattoos". She went on to say, "Seriously, I saw Youth of Today four times and I own the Infest Slave LP on colored vinyl." (Fatback)

• Adriana Lima's juggtacular bra commercials! (Cityrag)

• Star says Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. We say Star is pregnant with twin turds; i.e. full of shit. (Celebitchy)

• Britney Spears is on the cover of Cosmo. So you can ogle her weave while reading about the 10 tantric orgasm tips that will drive his nads wild. (Bitten and Bound)

• AnnaLynne McCord has 4 capital letters in her name. She also has a lesbian kiss. See video! (Drunken Stepfather)

• LIndsay Lohan gets dumped in favor of Denise Richards. Ow, that's gotta smart. (Yeeeah!)

• Amy Wino's rodent-like spouse has been released from prison. It's going to be a very cracky Christmas. (Hollywood Gossip)

• Heidi Klum takes those old records off the shelf. And those shirts off her shelf. (Seriously OMG WTF)

• Marisa Miller works the runway wearing the latest in swimwear and silicone/polymer based body oil. (F-listed)

• Ali Lohan auditions for the director of Bun Sisters 12. (Yeeeah!)

• Rihanna is easy, breezy, beautiful, unCovered Girl. In a see-through shirt. That shows nipple ring. (The Blemish)

• Madonna is one step away from having Waylon Flowers's hand up her ass. (Cityrag)

• A touching, moving photo montage of Kristen Bell in her pantaloons. (Holy Taco)

• You can't beat Jessica Simpson! No, seriously. Don't beat her; that's mean. (Daily Stab)

• Superbad's Emma Stone is supercute. (Fatback)

• Amanda Bynes is Nickelodeyummy in butt-stranglingly tight workout gear. (Drunken Stepfather)

• John Mayer will be the godfather of the SimpsWentz spawn. He will teach it to land hot chicks and make the most heinous guitar faces ever. (Allie Is Wired)

July 4th weekend has drawn to a close. It's a celebration of all things American: hot dogs, bottle rockets, saluting. In other words, erect penises. A weekend of metaphorical erect penises. GQ magazine knows a thing or two about boners, and so to further illustrate everyone's love for the USA, they provided many pictures of swimwear model Marisa Miller in various states of undress. It's weird that Uncle Sam and the bald eagle are the symbols of America, when our currency and flag really should just depict naked Marisa Miller biting into a freakishly big corn dog next to the Washington monument while in the background, Rambo stabs Saddam Hussein's corpse with a light saber on top of a monster truck. And Hot Pockets should probably be involved somehow, but we haven't really worked out the fine print yet.


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Picture it! February in America! Most of us are busy freezing our scrotii off, while raising a hot toddy to sweethearts, Abraham Lincoln, and black people. And it's also probably the only month out of the year that we ecstatically celebrate the fact that famous models are clothed, with the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Last year's issue kind of missed the mark with the lack of a model on the cover and the inclusion of profiles of Kenny Chesney and Jimmy Buffett (though Kenny's tits did look positively scrumptious in that kicky maillot, believe you me), but this year, SI is back to form with Marisa Miller gracing the cover. Though she's sporting less of a bikini top and more of a . . . nothing. She and Heidi Klum, man, what kind of magic do they employ to render their nipples completely invisible under 3 strands of blonde hair? Let's dunk their tits in a vat of holy water--if they float, they're witches! If they don't, you still have a boner.



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