filed under: Mario Lopez

You saw his huge (possibly stunt doubled) dong in Saved by the Smell. (We can't remember if that was the real title or a joke, but we're going with it.) You saw him getting dirty (and literally poo-covered) with two ladies and wondered how much they got paid for the privilege. Now you can hear, in his own ghost-written words, about the wild nights on the Saved by the Bell set. Man, was it crazy. Some nights they ate so many Pixie Sticks they could hardly stand up. It was just like SNL circa '78. Reports WENN:

Dustin Diamond will lay bare the behind-the-scenes secrets from his years as Screech on Saved By The Bell in a new book.

The actor, 31, who played the lovable nerd on the U.S. sitcom and its spin-offs from 1989 to 2000, will expose for the first time what Diamond and his castmembers, including Mario Lopez and Elizabeth Berkley, got up to off set.

Behind The Bell, which Diamond will pen with the aid of a ghostwriter, will reveal "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying," reports People.com.

What kind of "sexual escapades" are we talking here? Are we talking Mario Lopez giving Mr. Belding handjobs in the principal's office? Will we learn that Dustin first learned the art of the Dirty Sanchez from Tori Spelling, a.k.a. Violet Anne Bickerstaff? All we know is that we will only be satisfied if somewhere in the tome someone refers to Mark-Paul Gosselaar's penis as the Zack Attack. more »

• Mary-Kate Olsen, Nicole Richie and friends enjoy debaucherous party involving tons and tons of . . . plaid flannel? (The Blemish)

• Britney Spears sex tape caps? We dunno, dudes. No Bagel Bite residue on anything, so . . . (Yeeeah!)

• Mario Lopez kissed Fergie and lived to tell the tale. (Hollywire)

• Heather Locklear just checked herself before she wrecked herself. Naw, she checked herself into a clinic to deal with depression and other psychological issues. (Faded Youth)

• Amy Winehouse is out of the hospital and bustin' loose! Lock up your crack pipes and your Final Net! (CelebWarship)

• Hugh Hefner banged a lot of dames. And his sister-in-law. And a dude. (Celebridiot)

• In case you were wondering, Jennifer Lopez is still a joyless harridan asshole. (D-listed)

• Pam Anderson bares her teeth, growls, and emits a fountain of champagne from her tit. (Cityrag)

• Anne Hathway's now-ex boyfriend just got popped for posing as the Vatican's financial officer. Ahahaha, whatta cutup! (Daily Stab)

• Katherine Heigl ditches the Huggabunch bikini in favor of the Rainbow Brite one. And pairs her UV rays with a few long hard drags off a cigarette. Cancerlicious! (Drunken Stepfather)

Paris: Everyone knows that I'm, like, super super hot, but I just figured something out. If I stand next to people who get their clothes out of the Salvation Army drop box and can't keep their weaves on straight--like this girl--I look even hotter. more »

• Matthew Broderick appears to have injured himself after falling off his wife.

• J. Lo es no preggo. "She is 100% not pregnant," says a rep, however, she is still 93% annoying.

• Tara Reid getting cockblocked from Hyde while Paris breezes right in = funny. The fact that the hottest club catering to young Hollywood is ironically blasting Kenny Loggins's "Footloose" = funnier.

• Lindsay Lohan changes her damn bikini almost as often as she changes her men.

• And speaking of Lindsay's wardrobe choices, she seems to have ditched the Kate Moss look and adopted a new fashion idol. The billowing, shapeless drawstring romper, the torpedo nips, the questionable footwear, the long, chalky black hair and the latte in hand . . . it's Britney all over again.

• Brad Pitt's parents were offended when, at Maddox Jolie-Pitt's birthday party, the elder Pitts were "the only ones not drinking." Including the 4-year-olds?

• Get Saved by the Buns when Mario Lopez (A.C. Slater) gets naked and homoerotic for Nip/Tuck.

• That Eminem boy has playdate with the little Girl Next Door, acts out, gets sent to the corner for a time out.

• Paris Hilton has been cast in a movie called The Hottie and the Nottie but keeps giving the thumbs down to potential leading men. An insider says, "A few [actors] have made it to a screen test with Paris but either the producers aren't happy or, more often, Paris has a problem with them. She is as picky with the men in her movies as she is in real life." AKA "not at all".