filed under: Madonna

The Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce might already be settled, with Guy telling Madonna she can keep her Kabbalah coin all to herself.

According to a report in the Daily Mail, Madge won't pay out a penny or a pound of her $500 mil fortune to Guy, but their sons (David and Rocco) will split their time between London and New York. An announcement on the settlement could come by the end of the month, says a source.

We've been told Guy could still do pretty well in the divorce -- since Brit divorce law says he's due half.

Batten down the hatches – bitch fight on the way.

It looks like Madonna has younger, blonder competition for her New York Yankee pal Alex Rodriguez.

Yes, man eater Kate Hudson – who changes boyfriends as fast as her fashion frocks – was allegedly spotted warming up to A-Rod at a glamour bash in Miami over the weekend.

The pair reportedly got to know each other rather well at the star studded opening of the new Fontainebleau Hotel.

The married sport star reportedly entertained the You, Me and Dupree actress, 29, at a private table as they watched Mariah Carey's sing-song together on the South Beach.

Helpful spies claim: 'Hudson had her arms completely wrapped around A-Rod's waist and every time he leaned over to talk to anyone she would pull him back toward her.

'They were laughing and giggling all night.'

Little wonder Aunty Madge, 50, sent along best buddy Gwyneth Paltrow to keep a watchful eye on her good friend.

Paltrow, 36, reportedly enjoyed an Italian lunch with the A-Rod, 33, at Scarpetta during the day but must have gone off duty once the show started.

MADONNA and Alex Rodriguez are turning to mush over each other. Sources close to Madge tell the Chicago Sun-Times she's so smitten with her rumored Yankee lover, she informed a close pal he "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." Rodriguez, meanwhile, has been writing "sweet, personal and rambling expressions of his feelings," the paper reports. "Sort of like old-fashioned love notes."

Madonna says she was a "Japanese warrioress" in a previous life.

In what appeared to be a thinly-veiled warning to estranged husband Guy Ritchie, the singer revealed her fighting spirit on a Japanese TV show.

She said: "I must have been Japanese in a previous life. I'm pretty sure I was a warrioress. I can't explain it, I just know. I'm good at fighting - fighting with a big sword."

•Under no circumstances should they read newspapers, magazines, or be allowed to watch TV or DVDs.
•They must adhere at all times to a macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic diet with no processed or refined food.
•All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabaalah water (Mountain spring blessed by leaders of the Kabbalah religion she follows).
•They should wear the clothes Madonna has sent with them on the flight. If they need to be bought anything, they should not contain man-made fibres.
•Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places.
•They should not be bought toys which are spiritually or ethically unsound.
•Guy should not discuss the separation with them.
•Madonna should have phone contact with the boys as much as three or four times a day at times set by her.
•They boys should not be introduced to Guy's new friends, especially any new female friends he has attracted since the separation.
•Madonna has encouraged the access to give him time with the boys, rather than his parents spending large amounts of time with the boys.
•The boys should not be photographed with Guy. It is his responsibility to organise security so that does not happen.
•At bedtime, Guy should read David the English Rose books Madonna wrote.

If there's one thing we can count on from Madonna, it's the making of a little music history now and again.

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake will be performing alongside the Material Girl Thursday when her Sticky & Sweet tour touches down at Dodger Stadium, E! News' Ryan Seacrest has learned.

"They are going to be onstage performing with Madonna," Seacrest said on KIIS-FM host DJ BoyToy Jesse's Wednesday-afternoon show.

Of course, while Timberlake and Spears have both collaborated with Madge individually, the exes haven't been spending much quality time together in recent years.

"If Justin and Britney end up on that stage with her...I don't know if I've ever seen anything quite like that before," Seacrest said. (And he's seen a lot—remember Celine Dion performing with hologram Elvis on American Idol?)

Seacrest said that he should have more details on his KIIS morning show tomorrow: "Expect some real serious surprises."

Madonna tried to control Guy Ritchie with a "marriage contract", it has been claimed. The "contract" was drawn up after the couple - who split after nearly eight years of marriage two weeks ago - visited marriage counsellors two years ago.

According to Britain's The Sun newspaper the document ordered Guy to "Work to enrich his wife's emotional and spiritual wellbeing," and devote time to reading texts related to Kabbalah, the mystical offshoot of Judaism which Madonna follows.

On sex, the marriage rules state both of the couple should "devote time to our sexual expressiveness" and "not use sex as a stick to beat one another".

The rules also detailed how Guy should "resolve conflicts in a constructive way", and if they were arguing he must not shout at his wife, but look her in the eye and say: "I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this."

A source close to the couple said: "Guy felt bound up."

Madonna has offered Guy Ritchie an additional £5million to dictate his access rights to their three children.

The singer has agreed to increase the lump sum cash payment he will get in their divorce from £15million to £20million if he backs down from a court battle over Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight, and David Banda, three.

Legal sources said last night that Mr Ritchie would be well-advised to take the offer since Madonna as their mother would be seen as primary carer.

As such, a British judge would most probably rule the children should live with her in New York rather than in England with Guy.

'Madonna has said to Guy that if she ups the money, then would he agree to her setting out the access for the children until they turn 18. What she is basically saying is that if Guy wants this to go to court, she will get what she wants anyway.

'Basically she is offering a cash incentive to him to encourage an amicable out-of-court agreement over the children.. Madonna is keen to give Guy good access to the children - but on her terms,' a source said.

'Guy wants the children to be educated in Britain - especially his beloved Rocco - but his lawyers will be advising him that if Madonna moves to New York and wants the children with her, a judge is likely to agree.'

The Mail has learned that Guy finally decided the marriage was over during one particular bizarre exchange with his wife at their Marylebone house where she claimed to be 'bigger than Jesus'.

Said a friend: ''The argument happened at the Marylebone house. Madonna had been moaning about his lack of support and lack of interest in what she has doing with Kabbalah.

'She told Guy she did not understand why she was ridiculed by the press for what she was doing with the religion. But Guy just reacted quite sarcastically and told her to "get over herself".

'And that's when it got a bit surreal. Madonna said that her destiny had been mapped out and that she had been chosen to live this life.

'She said the reason why she is a living icon is that she had been chosen to be a spiritual guru. To which Guy turned around and said 'Listen love, you're just a singer'.

'And it was then she turned around to him and said: "Listen baby, I'm bigger than Jesus'".

'Guy was dumbfounded. At that point, he realised that he really had lost her to the Kabbalah. From that point on, Guy felt totally alienated from Madonna. She made him feel that he was beneath her. To make matters worse, that had been one of the few times they had been together in recent months and it was spoiled by that argument.'

The source went on: 'Guy truly believes that Madonna is deluded and lives in a fantasy world – particularly also when it comes to her age.

'When Madonna turned 50 for example, she felt her biological age was only 35 so they went ahead as if it was a 35th birthday'.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie didn't have sex for 18 months as their marriage crumbled.

The couple - who announced last week they were separating, ending months of rumours - reportedly didn't get close beneath the sheets because the 'Hung Up' singer was too tired for love due to her gruelling daily 4-hour workouts.

A friend close to the pair said: "Guy got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day exercising. When she did eventually get home she'd be too tired to make love.

"When the cracks first started to show, Guy would plead with her to spend more time with him but she wouldn't. She'd insist she did her four-hour workout. They've been apart so much in the last two years that their opportunities to make love would have been fairly limited. They've also been in separate rooms a lot after big rows so there wasn't any chance to make up."

It has also been claimed that Guy, 40, found 50-year-old Madonna's super-toned body a turn-off, and yearned for the soft, womanly curves she had when they first fell in love after meeting in 1999.

The 'RocknRolla' director is reported to have confided in a friend he was finding his superstar star spouse less attractive the more fitness obsessed she became.

The pal told Britain's News of the World newspaper: "After a few drinks one evening, Guy said it was like cuddling up to a piece of gristle. All the soft feminine tones had been replaced by the build of an athlete."

Madonna, 50, is hoping she can have a natural child with Rodriguez, despite her age.

The singer is planning her future with the American baseball player, it emerged last night.

There is no suggestion that Madonna has to date had a physical relationship with Rodriguez.

However, a friend said: 'She thinks he's physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her.'

Madonna's spokeswoman says the singer and her husband, filmmaker Guy Ritchie, will divorce after 7 1/2 years together.

A statement e-mailed to The Associated Press from spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg says the couple has agreed to divorce, and asks the media to respect their privacy.

The statement, co-signed by Ritchie's representative, says the couple had not agreed to a settlement.

Sean Penn’s “Milk” costar James Franco has further dished about the pair’s lengthy on-screen kiss. Franco told Out magazine, “After our [on-screen] kiss, Sean texted Madonna - his ex-wife, Madonna - and said, ‘I just popped my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why.'"

Madonna's tour towels have been seized by Eastern European border control guards.

The '4 Minutes' singer - who is currently on her 'Sticky and Sweet' world tour - travel with 300 designer towels for herself and her dancers to use when they come off stage, but Montenegro officials confiscated them because they were suspicious about why she needed so many.

A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "The customs people had never come across that kind of volume of towels for personal use before, or the cost given for them. People in Montenegro just aren't used to spending that much on a towel."

Madonna is still the reigning queen of pop, so it’s not surprising that she’s picky about her thrones — especially when it comes to public toilets. Before her concert at the Palais Nakaia concert hall in Nice, France, on August 26, the singer had all of the commodes, showers and sinks removed, scrubbed down and then reinstalled. “Everyone thinks she did this because she hates the thought of dirty and germy things,” an insider tells In Touch.

Madonna is set to adopt again, it has been confirmed.

The singer has renewed her bid to care for three-year-old Mercy James now that her marriage to Guy Ritchie is stronger and Malawian officials say she is "on the cusp" of completing the process.

Penstone Klembe, Malawi adoption minister, told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Madonna's representatives have been visiting the girl. The adoption is now advanced and all the government is waiting for is Madonna to forward the petition of adoption formalities. Then Mercy will be able to leave the country for a new life."

MADONNA is truly the master of media manipulation. "The supposed scandal about [her brother] Christopher Ciccone's book is bull[bleep]," an insider told Page Six. "She actually ghost-wrote parts of it with him, the way Princess Diana helped Andrew Morton write his book on her. That's why there's nothing too devastating in Chris's book. He's mean to others, but not so much to his sister." In addition, Madge, now frighteningly rail thin, exploited Alex Rodriguez. "She flirted with him and manipulated him," our source declared. "She didn't count on wife Cynthia leaving him and naming her in the divorce, though." Madonna is using the buzz over her relationship with A-Rod to her benefit. "She's ordered three A-Rod Yankee jerseys she'll wear in the finale of her upcoming shows. All of this was created to sell tickets for her tour, which hasn't been selling so well." A rep for Madonna didn't return calls.

Madonna is reportedly at the centre of a sex tape scandal. A cameraman claims to have a video of Madonna and baseball player Alex Rodriguez romping on a sofa. He is trying to sell the tape - allegedly shot with a hidden camera in an apartment owned by a friend of the cameraman which was used by the couple for secret liaisons - for £1 million.

The unnamed owner of the tape claims he visited the property and hid a camera, pointed at the sofa which captured the X-rated footage two months ago.

A legal source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper that the implications of the secret filming could be dire for the cameraman, saying: "If footage was obtained in this way it would be an outrageous invasion of privacy. But more than that he would not have had his friend's consent to install the camera and must have entered the apartment without approval to hide it.

"He would be guilty of voyeurism. Instead of making a million he'd be going to jail for a few years."

Rumours have emerged that a sex tape starring Jessica Simpson will appear online. According to the Daily Sport, the home movie, which features popstar and actress Simpson engaging in a number of sex acts with her ex-husband Nick Lachey, has been acquired by the same people who released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's holiday sex video.

A source said: "Jessica is horrified her name and 'sex tape' are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."

The tape will reportedly be distributed online unless Simpson pays an undisclosed fee to keep it out of the public domain.

Jose Canseco says Madonna not only wanted to hop into bed with him - she wanted his baby. The former Yankee slugger told Us magazine Madge wanted some of “his genes” so she could give birth to a Cuban sibling for Lourdes, her daughter with fitness trainer Carlos Leon.

“She had a Cuban child and wanted another one,” said Canseco, 44, who helped blow the lid off baseball’s steroid controversy. “She wanted to get married and have a child with me. I’m Cuban, 6-foot-3, athletic, built,” said Canseco.

Canseco says he first met the Material Girl in 1991 at her home in Los Angeles, and she quickly moved into seductress mode. Madonna played Canseco a masturbation scene from her “Truth Or Dare” movie on the TV, then started smooching him. But the buff ballplayer balked, telling Madonna he was trying to work things out with his wife.

“She said, ‘I have lots of money. Don’t worry about that,’ ” Canseco recalled. “I had to leave at that point so I got up and left.” Canseco says she always thought she could talk him into the sack someday. I think she thought she could persuade me or seduce me over time,” he told the magazine.

The pair’s sexy shenanigans will be broadcast to the crowd on Madge’s upcoming world tour via 20ft screens.

They will perform a mash-up of Madge track Beat Goes On and Britney’s Piece Of Me, while they are unwrapped from costumes that can only be described as bondage mummy.

The pop duo will be wrapped in BANDAGES which will then be unravelled by leather thong-clad male dancers in scenes that would put even RUSSELL BRAND’s moral compass in a spin.

An on-set source revealed: “It’s absolutely classic Madonna. Probably the raunchiest stuff she has ever done. It leaves nothing to the imagination and will be very controversial.

“Britney and Madonna are unwrapped like mummies, to appear together almost naked apart from tiny leather bondage pants and knee-high boots.

“They then dance closely together, pressing their hands and bodies together.

“There will be big rows over whether it is sexy, shocking or both.”

Britney has been filming scenes at a Hollywood studio and was snapped leaving a nearby hair salon looking more spruced up than she has for ages.

A biography by the Queen of Pop’s brother claims to lift the lid on Madge’s sexual conquests, love affairs, drug-taking and rows with husband GUY RITCHIE.

And it will tell how Madonna, now 49, flirted with Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow at a glamorous New Year party thrown by leading fashion designer DONATELLA VERSACE.

The Like A Virgin singer was dancing on a table at 4am when she dragged Gwyneth up to join her.

Younger brother Christopher Ciconne will tell how he watched as the pair started dancing together.

Then — as party-goers watched in amazement — Madonna grabbed Gwynnie, pulled her to her and kissed the stunned Hollywood star full on the mout