CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: Keira Knightley

September 04, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Harry Potter and the Underaged Bone

christina_ricci_hot_bikini.jpg• Get a black snake bone. Look at Christina Ricci in a bikini. (The Blemish)

• Keira Knightley was attacked by a wandering expletive-spewer and lived to tell the tale. (Yeeeah!)

• Being the concubine of Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood is used to standing next to undead ghouls, so she looks right at home beside Mickey Rourke. (CelebWarship)

• Hilary Swank will gain 30 pounds for a movie role. Which is cool because we also plan on gaining 30 pounds, basically because Totino's Pizza Rolls are on sale at Safeway. Solidarity! (Daily Stab)

• Ay oh! Oh ay! Whaddaya doin', Samanter? It's Alyssa Milano naked! (Mr. Skin)

• Another male has willingly placed his wango inside of Star Jones. (Holy Taco)

• Daniel Radcliffe admits when he was a teen, his magic wand found its way into a cougar's Hairy Pooter. (Derek Hail)

• Holly Madison take a carefree swing, and tosses out some beav. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Lacey Chabert gives us a party of two. (Fatback)

• Katie Holmes has the knees of a three dollar hooker. Or that girl Tammy who was voted "friendliest" in tenth grade. (Cityrag)

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June 25, 2008

Keira Knightley + Mom = One Hot Sex Scene

Keira Knightley pouts.jpg It's looking like the promotion for the Dylan-Thomas-and-a-couple-of-hot-lesbians movie The Edge of Love, which doesn't open in the U.S. until this fall, is going to last longer than the spirit-crushing onslaught of Sex and City hype. Every day this week it's been Keira Knightley this, Sienna Miller that. And we're just as excited as anyone to see them get it on, but hearing them talk about nudity and their hot sex scenes every day knowing we won't actually see any of it for months is a bigger tease than a Christian high-school cheerleader. Today's dish involves Keira revealing that she's, like, totally not grossed out that her mommy wrote her sex scene. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Actress Keira Knightley was happy to film a sex scene for her new movie "The Edge of Love," even though her mother wrote the naked romp.

Knightley's mom, Sharman Macdonald, penned the movie's screenplay. She also served as a producer on the project.

Knightley insists that knowing her mother is capable of writing about steamy clinches didn't faze her and she was happy to strip off wherever necessary.

She says, "She dared to put a sex scene in it. It didn't worry me that my mother knows what sex is.

"Come to think of it, I was found under an apple tree. My mother is a virgin. I had no hissy fits when she presented me with the scene."
From what we know of Keira "Tits" Knightley, we're guessing that she and her mom don't exactly have an uptight relationship. We wouldn't be surprised if Keira's bedtime stories as a tot weren't The Little Engine That Could and Goodnight Moon but The Story of O and the collected works Henry Miller. more »
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June 20, 2008

Tits Knightley Talks About Her Naked Tits

keira knightley mouth agape.jpg Ol' Tits Knightley, oh, how we've missed you. Sure, Keira Knightley has been out and about, hanging with right old chap Rupert Friend and practicing her pronunciation of 'enry 'iggins, but we haven't heard her wax poetic on her most favorite subject--tits--in quite some time. But now that she's set to once again bare her "two aspirins on an ironing board" in the upcoming Dylan Thomas biopic The Edge of Love, it's time to talk titties. According to IMDb:
Keira Knightley didn't hesitate when she was asked to bare her breasts in new movie The Edge Of Love - because she believes sex scenes are more believable when performed by naked actors.

The 23-year-old actress has no qualms about appearing in the buff, insisting nudity has even become a habit of hers.

She tells People magazine, "I always bare my breasts. It's not like it's only in this film!"

So when Edge Of Love filmmaker John Maybury requested her to remove her bra, she was happy to oblige: "I said, 'All right then.'

"It was very simple. It was a sex scene and I never like them when they've got bras on."
This is exciting and all, but we get the impression that The Edge of Love can't possibly live up to our lofty expectations. It stars Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller. And they do it! In our minds we're pretty much imagining a Misty Mundae movie, with Keira and Sienna completely naked and bumping boobies in the Welsh countryside for roughly 89% of the film. But then we watched the trailer. It's a bit more Jane Austen with Wellies than Jesse Jane. Maybe next time, girls.

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June 05, 2008

Nepotism Never Looked So Sexy

keira_knightley_eyes-closedjpg.jpgKeira Knightley is the Veruca Salt of the now generation. Only instead of wanting her daddy to buy her an Oompa-Loompa, she wants her mommy to custom-tailor a role specifically written for Keira in a biopic with lesbian undertones. WENN reports:
Keira Knightley clashed with her screenwriter mother Sharman MacDonald over their forthcoming movie The Edge Of Love - because the actress refused to play the part her mum had specifically written for her.

Macdonald told her daughter she had penned the role of Caitlin Thomas just for her in the upcoming film about Welsh poet Dylan Thomas - but the 23-year-old had other ideas.

Macdonald recalls, "I said, 'You're playing Caitlin,' and she said, 'No, I like Vera.'"

As a result, the part of Vera Phillips, one of the Welsh poet's love interests, was transformed - to Knightley's liking. Macdonald adds: "She wasn't even a singer until Keira decided to play her."
Similarly, we hear that Asia Argento's role in Trauma was originally written to be a chaste young nun until Asia told her father, the director, "Needs more titties, pops." Nice work, ladies. Next time try to incorporate some giant raptor battles while you're at it. more »
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February 26, 2008

Keira Knightley's Cosme-tits

Keira_Knightley_hunch.jpgThese days, film studios have CGI wings, but according to "two aspirins on an ironing board" beauty Keira Knightley, once upon a dream, in the golden age of Hollywood, there instead existed sections of trained artisans devoted entirely to the artistic shading and contouring of human breasts. Like Keebler elves they diligently worked, adding a stripe of cinnamon here, a dash of silvery highlighter there, until mamnificent perfection was achieved. On her ample Pirates of the Carribbean bosoms, Keira explains:
"They painted my tits on me for the films, which is extraordinary because it's kind of a dying art form - in the past, they used to have whole sections of the studios devoted to bosom make-up. And I loved it, completely loved it. Because it was the first time in my life I had big tits, and I didn't even need surgery.”
Keira might want to take note: allegedly, Amy Winehouse is looking to launch a line of makeup. Reports The Sun:
“She wants to bring out a range of cosmetics and fashion products. There could be hairspray, head scarves, liquid eyeliner, perfume. All the things that are distinctive of her look.”
Hopefully, Winehouse's cosmetics line will be out in time for Keira's next major motion picture. And in place of carefully contoured cleavage stripes, she will sport winged black Ronettes liner shooting out of each boob, and a single chola jailbird tear leaking out of one nipple. more »
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December 06, 2007

Knudist Knightley Gets Knaked: One More Time, with Feeling

keira-knightley-topless-interview-1.jpgAh, Keira Knightley. Fair of face and foul of mouth, she's always game to say the word "tits", or brandish her actual tits, especially when she's promoting a new film. Keira appiera'ed on Ellen today, and they discussed this Interview cover:
Ellen: Why do you love posing nude?

Keira: I don’t know. People ask and I just say yes.

Ellen: You just say ok?

Keira: Yeah, I will learn to say no. At the moment, my friends actually have bets going on that I can’t actually do a photo shoot keeping my clothes on . . . I think I find it vaguely liberating, which I hope I don’t become a nudist.

Ellen: You’re on your way.

Keira: I am, I’m on my way.
Well, seeing how Keira's in corsets in 92% of her films, it's easy to understand why she'd be so eager to let her torso fly free. Though we can't really get behind the Clockwork Orange-meets-Cabaret-meets-Taco's-version-of-"Puttin' on the Ritz" look of this cover. She's kind of reminiscent of Freddie Mercury. Only Freddie had bigger cans.

keira-knightley-topless-interview-2.jpg F_Freddie_Mercury_1.jpg keira-knightley-topless-interview-3.jpg
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December 05, 2007

Keira Knightley Gives James McAvoy Abonement in Atonement

keira knightley james mcavoy atonement.jpg We've fallen for the tricks many times. Actors are promoting their movie and they gush and gush about the film's sexuality, about how hot the love scenes are, about how the lead actress really had to reach deep inside herself to be able to take her clothes off in front of the camera. And then we see the film. And there's nothing more than necking and a naked shoulder. But you cannot fool us this time, James McAvoy. We already know that Atonement contains nary a naked nay-nay, despite starring the oft-nude Keira Knightley. So talk about those fictional onscreen hummers all you want; we're not biting. According to The New York Daily News:
It was a chilly night in Greenwich Village on Monday for Chanel's premiere of "Atonement." But its British stars heated up the red carpet with a surprisingly detailed behind-the-scenes description of their steamy sex scene.

"Any funny stories, any anecdotes?" James McAvoy (who made his reputation in 2006's "Last King of Scotland") mused aloud. "Lots ... being there while Keira Knightley was being told to [bleep] me off was a high point."

Excuse me? And did she?

"No, of course not."

I asked director Joe Wright if he ever delivered such a command. "Absolutely no comment," he said outside the Cinema Society screening. "I can't believe he told you that!"

Fortunately, Keira was able to sort it out for us.

"It was the sex scene, which I have to say I think is a really good sex scene," she told me. "But it was such a specific thing and it had to be so erotic that we did just say to Joe, 'Come on, talk us through it.'"

And compared to what Wright told the audience before the screening, that was actually one of the cleaner stories of the evening.
This all sounds very odd to us, as Atonement is set in 1935 and we're pretty sure that blowjobs weren't even invented until about 1962, most likely by Keith Richards. Does no one care about historical accuracy in film anymore? more »
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September 24, 2007

Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller on The Edge of Lez

keira_sienna.jpgKeira "Tits" Knightley and Sienna "Shitsburgh" Miller just wrapped up filming The Edge of Love, in which they play the wife and mistress of poet Dylan Thomas, who end up slamming clams. Sienna gives us a taste of what's to come:
"The bath scene is very erotic. There's been a lot of talk about it and I suppose the whole lesbian m้nage-a-trois thing is great publicity for the film. Keira plays the temptress and I play a more reserved person. The setting in the Welsh hills couldn't be more sensual or entrancing."
One writer, two dames, possible tribadism. So it's like Henry and June, only with rolling green hills and sea mist and even funnier accents. more »
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September 18, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: A Total Raging Disgusting Rich Lazy Party Slut

britney_bathroom.jpg• Britto's manager drops her mere hours after her lawyer does. She's getting dropped more often than Sean Preston. Ba-dum-bump. (Yeeeah!)

• Jessica Simpson brings back the Daisy Dukes. Or maybe the Dazzy Duks. Whatever. (Drunken Stepfather)

• This is what Kid Rock bitchslapped Tommy Lee over. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Mary-Louise Parker pulls a Madonna. And we don't mean dry-humping Vanilla Ice. (The Blemish)

• Dave Grohl says that Paris is a "total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut." In similar news, Dave Grohl claims that "bacon tastes real good" and "water is wet". (Celebitchy)

• Christina Aguilera's baby will never go hungry. (Derek Hail)

• Sting probably had sex with these hookers. But the question remains: did he have sex with them for ten hours straight? (IDLYITW)

• Keira Knightley is a big fat sloppy gross lardy gigantic moo cow. (Celeb Warship)

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September 13, 2007

Toronto Film Fest Part II: Bring in da Nudes, Bring in da Funk

keira knightly belly shirt.jpg The Toronto International Film Festival keeps delivering the tits. Today we bring you Keira Knightley really, truly naked (as opposed to covered in dripping-wet see-through fabric), new nudes from Marisa Tomei, and Rosie Perez's first baring in the nude millennium. God, we love the cinema. more »
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September 10, 2007

Keira Knightley Will Give You A-bone-ment in Atonement

keira knightley fairy nymph.jpg Keira Knightley wants to make it very clear that she doesn't get naked in movie after movie because she's some kind of twisted nudity-loving pervert (damn!); it's all for her career. She's really ambitious, and ambition=nudity. All those prudey American actresses who refuse to show a boob now and then are just lazy and don't care about their careers or the art of film. Our gossip band leader, FemaleFirst, says:
Keira Knightley refuses to keep her clothes on in her movies.

The Oscar-nominated actress - who nearly bares all when she emerges from a pond dripping wet in see-through underwear in new movie 'Atonement' - insists nudity is important in acting.

Keira told Britain's The Times newspaper: "If I wasn't prepared to take my clothes off on screen there would be a whole area of my job that I couldn't explore. And I can't sacrifice my job because of that.

"If I didn't do that scene then maybe my life would be easier. There are plenty of actresses, and certainly a lot of American actresses, who wouldn't have done this part because of that.

"But I was passionate about it, and had to do it no matter what it demanded."
Well isn't it quite fortunate that one of Mr. Skin's operatives happened to screen that very movie at the Toronto Film Festival this weekend. She's actually not technically naked, as her boobs and beav are seen beneath some soaking-wet clothes, but as Keira tends toward arty films that favor jump cuts and dark lighting, we'll take what we can get. And since Keira's British, she's probably required by law to prove her acting ability with respectable smut like Lady Chatterley's Lover or Fanny Hill, which are really just wall-to-wall nudity and fucking. So cheers to the Brits!
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August 30, 2007

Keira Knightley Is Not a Drunken Slut

keira knightley slouches.jpg Keira "Tits" Knightley would like to make it perfectly clear that she is not a drunken, beaver-flashing slut like some of her loose-moralled Hollywood counterparts. At least not in public, anyway. Our gossip task master, FemaleFirst, reports:
Keira Knightley would never leave the house without her underwear.

The 'Pirates of the Caribbean' actress admits being a celebrity isn't easy, but insists fame is not an excuse to be caught going 'commando' in public.

Keira told Empire magazine: "The whole celebrity thing is not magic. They are just real people proving they are sluttier than everybody else because they don't wear any knickers."

The 22-year-old actress continued her thinly veil swipe at young female celebrities like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan - who have both been photographed without underwear and have checked into rehab several times this year - by slamming stars who are photographed drunkenly staggering out of nightclubs.

Keira said: "I'm not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out of a club and fall over and vomit in front of people. I'm not saying I don't do that in private, but I try not to."
What Keira is oh-so-delicately saying is that she thinks Britney and Lindsay are drunken whores. Way to go out on a limb and keep ahead of the times there, Keira. We do commend Keira for admitting that she occasionally knocks back too many shots of Jameson and vomits all over her companions, she's just smart enough to do it when no photographers are around. We're also quite proud of her for getting through that whole speech without mentioning how small her tits are. Brava, Keira.
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August 16, 2007

Keira "Tits" Knightley Says: Those Aren't Mine

keira knightley chanel ad.jpg You know how when you imagine a celebrity talking and it just doesn't seem accurate if you leave out a key word? Paris Hilton is nothing without "hot", Britney Spears just isn't country enough without "y'all", and Keira Knightley can't get through one damn sentence without saying "tits". When she's at the pub she yells to the barkeep, "Give my tits some bloody ale, bloke." And when she heads off to the loo it's, "My tits gotta take a leak." It's just tits, tits, tits with this one. Maybe she thinks that every time she says the word a little more chestular fat accumulates and eventually she'll actually look like her Photoshopped Chanel ad, of which she said:
Those things certainly weren't mine. We had an interesting discussion when they said: 'We want to make them slightly larger and you'll get approval' and I was like: 'OK, fine. I honestly don't give a shit.'

I don't have any tits, so I can't show cleavage.
We're very happy that Keira likes to keep herself busy and has three movies coming out in the next year, because there's a very good chance that if one of the directors asked her to strip completely naked and masturbate with an assortment of produce on a bed of chicken feathers (you know, because it would help to devekop her character), she'd say, "Why the fuck not? I honestly don't give a shit. Tits."
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June 04, 2007

"You Know What This Movie Needs? More Stench."

keira knightley johnny depp.jpg Remember when we told you that Keira Knightley rarely showers and smells like your great uncle Al after a week-long Euchre tournament at the Moose lodge? Turns out she was probably the best-smelling thing on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean. According to IMDB:
The cast of Pirates Of The Caribbean sequel At World's End were encouraged not to wash or brush their teeth during the making of the movie - because director Gore Verbinski wanted them all to look and smell filthy. The moviemaker admits he spent months perfecting bad-teeth dentures for his scurvy actors and actresses, but still fears he may have missed an extra with a perfect smile. Verbinski tells Movies.com, "I just thought it would be more authentic to have pirates with bad teeth since I'm sure they never flossed. We spent a lot of time creating ugly dentures, but occasionally somebody would slip through. It would be like, 'What's with the guy in the background? His teeth are too clean.' Also, hold the deodorant. I wanted them to look smelly. They're (pirates) are not taking baths every day, they're probably not eating well and they have scurvy. And there's probably all sorts of strange things growing on them. I sort of wanted the film to be stinky."
We're kind of shocked that Verbinski had to do any coaxing. We've always assumed that Johnny Depp reeks like a hunk of aged Stilton, and eschewing their toothbrushes shouldn't be anything new to Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley, being British. But we imagine that getting Keith Richards to give up his Irish Spring and Colgate was quite a challenge. He's really the picture of hygiene, that one. Our doctor is always telling us, "You need to be more diligent in your cleansing practices. Try to be more like Keith Richards." more »
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May 14, 2007

Keira Knightley Thinks You Don't Want to See Her Naked, Is Wrong

Keira Knightley warrior.jpg Keira Knightley obviously doesn't read about herself on the internet. Otherwise she'd know that people love seeing her all kinds of naked. In our daily research of very important issues we have come across many websites with the words "Keira Knightley naked" and "Keira Knightley nude" in 24-point font with eight exclamation points. And everybody knows that you can't employ 24-point font unless you are really, really stoked on what you're talking about. It's rule number five in The Internet for Dummies, which is a really good book. We hear Gore Vidal is a big fan. more »
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May 07, 2007

Keira Knightley Is Dirty

keira knightley dirty.jpg We love Keira Knightley and her delightful "Fuck You" attitude. She's kind of like Amy Poehler's one-legged trailer-trash character who always says, "Yeah, I farted. Jealous?" We can definitely see Keira breaking wind during an especially intense Orlando Bloom makeout scene and thinking it's the sexiest damn thing she's ever done. Plus, it would add to the heady aroma she's cultivated:
“I don’t shower enough. My natural smell is rather musky. Coco Mademoiselle is the first women’s perfume I’ve ever worn. I need something clean.”
Yes, Keira, Coco Mademoiselle may have a scent that can be described as "clean," but that doesn't mean it's a substitute for actually cleaning yourself. So, to tally up Keira's movie-star qualities: has terrible acned skin that has to be digitally fixed in her movies, smells like flowers after they've been freshly fertilized with a big mound of cow shit, resembles the skeleton hanging in your tenth-grade science class, swears more than your Grand Theft Auto addicted nephew. Why, she's the second coming of Audrey Hepburn for sure! more »
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April 23, 2007

Work Takes Precious Time Away from Lohan's Grueling Party Schedule. Solution: Don't Work

lohanjapan2.preview.jpgYour fanciful dreamscapes of seeing Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley portraying lesbian lovers on the silver screen have been dashed, because Lohan has unceremoniously pulled out of the film, as is her wont. This marks the only time you will ever seen Lindsay Lohan's name and the phrase "pulled out" in the same sentence. more »
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March 12, 2007

Keira Knightley Is a Yo Ho Ho . . . in Cartoon Form

kkocean.jpgThe fatcats over at Disney are reportedly hopping mad and aiming to sue over a soon-to-be released comic showing Keira Knightley getting the spit-roast treatment by Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp, trussed up in their Pirates of the Caribbean finery. Please, God, don't let Disney find our Xanga page of erotic Aladdin fan fic. more »
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February 28, 2007

Kimbo Stewart FHM's Most Eligible Bachelorette. Must Look up Definition of "Eligible Bachelorette"

kimbo thong.jpg When you imagine which young, single, hot girl you would most like to share your dangly bits with, names like Jessica (either Alba or Biel will do) or Scarlett might come to mind. But in the FHM offices they want nothing more than to drive their collective Downtown Train into Kimbo Stewart. Hey, Joe Francis did declare her a better fuck than Tara Reid. That's something, right? more »
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February 15, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Sexy, Sexy Babies

PH2007021200493.jpg• Anna Nicole Smith's maid claims that ANS ordered her to underfeed her daughter saying, "Ms. Marshall was obsessed with making sure that her baby was sexy." Hopefully, the maid also put Dannielynn in crotchless thong diapers. How else are you supposed to show off that Play-Doh My First Brazilian Waxฎ?

• The maid also says that ANS tried to commit suicide "at least twice" after giving birth to Dannielynn. Where were you and your vitamins when Anna needed you, Tom Cruise, you lousy prick?

• Anna Nicole's methadone pusher calls himself an "entertainment doctor". Must . . . refrain . . . from making . . . second Patch Adams joke in a week . . .

• Anna Nicole's body is set to be released, but to her mother, or to Howard K. Stern (asshole)? At this point, they should just sell her body to Entertainment Tonight.

• Carrot Top sure has great gams!

• Keira Knightley will be naked in her next film. We called it a "film" because it sounds classy.

• Jordan still has tetherball-sized breasts, by the way. (NSFW)

• Celebrities are so plastic! Knifestyles of the rich and famous! A cut above the breast! And other charming puns!

• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are back together. But at what cost? Paris Hilton was brutally battered, for what?

• Oft-nude model/celebutante/daughter of Patty/granddaughter of Randolph Lydia Hearst refused to let Britney Spears have a bag she designed, because "I'm only giving the bag to accomplished young women who are doing something positive to affect the world around them. " Oh yeah? Well YOUR mom robbed a bank, Lydia. BURN!

• Paula Abdul claims that she's never been drunk or done drugs. Tell that to MC Skat Kat, baby. Tell it to the Skat Kat.
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January 08, 2007

Celebrity Beachwear (Un)Coverage

kkbeach3.jpgAfter all those grueling hours standing on red carpets and smiling, sorting through awards show gift bags to separate the $8000 items from the shitty $2500 items, and spending $500/week on aromatherapy for their shi tzus, celebrities find themselves in a state of Exhaustion that nothing but a trip to an exotic locale can cure. Celebrity beach month continues today, and after the jump, see some barely-legal Rihanna cheeks, some Keira Knightley skin stretched taut over skeleton and musculature, and Kate Moss defying everything we know about medical science and anatomy and proving that she is the only woman whose breasts got smaller after giving birth. more »
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December 13, 2006

Scarlett Johansson Doesn't Understand Peripheral Vision

scarjo boobs.jpg You know what? It's a slow gossip day. No one forgot to wear panties or left a sex tape lying on the coffee table for the maid to pick up and sell or even stuffed too much boob into too little shirt (well, except for Jordan, but she doesn't really have a choice). So we're going to let Scarlett Johansson talk about being naked. And you're gonna like it. more »
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November 22, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: "I Know How to Learn Anything I Want to Learn."

• Kirsten Dunst's teatlets meet a lace-paneled dress, peekaboo nippage ensues. The pictures are old, but so are you, geezer.

• John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are together again, naturally. Even though they say they weren't together in the first place. But they are now. Probably. Eh.

• Well, we had the dubious honor of viewing the Screech sex tape yesterday. What can we say about it? He refers to himself in the third person, as "the D Man", he is more interested in the various edibles the ladies have around their hotel room than their vaginas, and the first 15 minutes consist of Dustin and his lady in a bubble bath, discussing the finer points of 24. Fleshbot has their own review. And screencaps.

• Agent Scully had a baby! And despite her insistence that the child was sired by boyfriend Clyde Klotz, her ex-husband Julian Ozanne is demanding a paternity test. So we can find out it's half-alien. And then Mulder will watch porn and there will be sexual tension, etc.

• Australian Holly Valance's nipple boomerangs out of her swimsuit. Crikey!

• Keira Knightley is engag