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filed under: Katherine Heigl

July 17, 2008

Katherine Heigl Gets Her Comeuppance

Remember when Katherine Heigl said, "Grey's Anatomy's writers suck. I could create better dialog by mashing up my grandma's prune farts and a squealing coyote" or something of the sort? Yeah, maybe that wasn't such a good move, career-wise. Us Weekly reports:

Katherine Heigl could be killed off Grey's Anatomy next season, a well-placed source tells Us Weekly in its latest issue.

The idea came after Heigl, 29, withdrew herself from Emmy contention, saying that she didn’t feel she was “given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination.”

In response to Heigl’s griping, staffers are considering giving her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, a brain tumor.

“[Producer] Shonda [Rhimes] and the writers are pissed at her,” the source tells Us. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”

Still, there’s good news for fans sad to see Izzie suffer: newly single Jeffrey Dean Morgan will reprise his role as hunky patient Denny Duquette, whom Izzie will see in visions brought on by the tumor.

And a second source thinks the story arc, ironically, may not be a bad thing for Heigl: “If her character does get a brain tumor, she’ll probably get an Emmy!”

A rep for ABC tells Us, “We can confirm that [Morgan] will be back, but we are not releasing any further details.”

At Wednesday's Television Critics Association’s annual fall preview, ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson insisted Heigl is "absolutely staying with the show. There's an unbelievable storyline this season."

You know, maybe that source is right. Giving her character a brain tumor isn't really a great way to punish Katherine. If the writers really wanted to screw with her, they'd put her in a really long coma so that she still had to show to work every day but couldn't move a muscle or utter a word. That would show her. more »

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July 01, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Christ, Superstar

• Reality show star/monster Heidi Montag promises to make a Christian album, compares herself to Jesus. "Because we both have really shiny hair and heal leopards," Heidi says. "That's what the poor people with zits are called, right?" (Yeeeah!)

• Katherine Heigl downblouse cleavage shot. By the by, why is the term downblouse? What an antiquated word. We don't say "upcrinoline". Though "crack above slacks" has a nice ring to it. (Egotastic!)

• Anne Hathaway does not heed the rap world's advice to "stop snitchin'"; snitches. (Flisted)

• Cameron Diaz is beginning to look a bit Wildensteinian. (Cityrag)

• Eva Longoria gets plugged. Fireplugged, that is! (The Blemish)

• Pharrell thinks tattoos and skin are like wallpaper. (FemaleFirst)

• Lindsay Lohan and chick chum Samantha Ronson get cutesy together. (CelebWarship)

• Zooey Deschanel is everyone's favorite. You there. Go. Look upon her in a swimsuit. (Don't Link This)

• Bridget the Midget's nip slip proves that not ALL of her is tiny. (Taxi Driver)

• Amy Winehouse hit a fan (and it felt like a kiss). (Allie Is Wired)

• Eddie Murphy wants to retire from movies. Well, see ya. (Daily Stab)

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June 24, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Plaid Party Till You Puke

• Mary-Kate Olsen, Nicole Richie and friends enjoy debaucherous party involving tons and tons of . . . plaid flannel? (The Blemish)

• Britney Spears sex tape caps? We dunno, dudes. No Bagel Bite residue on anything, so . . . (Yeeeah!)

• Mario Lopez kissed Fergie and lived to tell the tale. (Hollywire)

• Heather Locklear just checked herself before she wrecked herself. Naw, she checked herself into a clinic to deal with depression and other psychological issues. (Faded Youth)

• Amy Winehouse is out of the hospital and bustin' loose! Lock up your crack pipes and your Final Net! (CelebWarship)

• Hugh Hefner banged a lot of dames. And his sister-in-law. And a dude. (Celebridiot)

• In case you were wondering, Jennifer Lopez is still a joyless harridan asshole. (D-listed)

• Pam Anderson bares her teeth, growls, and emits a fountain of champagne from her tit. (Cityrag)

• Anne Hathway's now-ex boyfriend just got popped for posing as the Vatican's financial officer. Ahahaha, whatta cutup! (Daily Stab)

• Katherine Heigl ditches the Huggabunch bikini in favor of the Rainbow Brite one. And pairs her UV rays with a few long hard drags off a cigarette. Cancerlicious! (Drunken Stepfather)

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June 17, 2008

Katherine Heigl Stops Bitching and Gets Beaching

Why is Katherine Heigl wearing a magenta lamé bikini on the beach? Top five possibilities:

5. Grey's writers have an oddly festive way of tar and feathering
4. Her husband has a fetish for holiday edition Hershey's Kiss wrappers
3. Borrowed it from a HuggaBunch doll
2. Sparkly fabric deflects attention from near-constant bellyaching
1. Massive fire sale at American Apparel warehouse

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June 12, 2008

Heigl Blames Writers for Craptastic Season

We don't profess to know much about the cast of Grey's Anatomy aside from the fact that Ellen Pompeo has been rocking the Meg Ryan frozen face look lately, one of the dudes is McCreamy or whatever, and Sandra Oh's face looks adorably like a dolphin's. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to find out that Katherine Heigl, she of the pretty blonde hair and delightful romantic comedies, has apparently replaced Star Jones as America's most despised celebrity. We weren't sure why, until we read today that she had withdrawn her name for Emmy consideration and issued this statement:

“I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention,” she tells Gold Derby. “In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials.”

And we're sure that after saying how much the Grey's Anatomy writers suck, next season will garner her some Emmy material. Get ready for lots of "Izzy's harrowing battle with incontinence" and "Izzy shares a sizzling onscreen kiss with Gary Busey" subplots! more »

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June 19, 2007

Katherine Heigl's Stunt Snatch

Hey, dummies, that is not Katherine Heigl's naked vagina with a baby head pushing through it in the pivotal birth scene in Knocked Up. Sorry to disappoint, but Ms. Heigl did not spread her legs wide, shove a human infant inside of her poon, position said child's head just so, and allow a camera crew to film the whole rigamarole. Despite her commitment to her craft, that might be taking it a hair too far. TMZ blows the lid off this outrageous conspiracy and attempts to get to the bottom of the front part:

We spoke with Larry of Honey's Place (an adult novelty distributor often called the "Costco of the porn industry") who believes the scene could have been created with special effects. Larry told us "We have vaginas in our warehouse. (Holy moly!) Manufacturers like Doc Johnson take a real porn star and make a latex mold of the body -- and they are pretty lifelike." Gee. Larry doesn't pussyfoot around.

Linda Teglovic, agent/owner of Body Parts Models says it's a tough job. "I would have a hard time finding a girl to do that," adding she has never seen a request for a "vagina double" on any breakdowns (casting call lists) that she's seen. But then again, anything's possible.

Aside from the fact that most nine months pregnant women we've known (and being sensitive sorts, we like to befriend the heavily child-laden regularly) have more on their mind than being freshly waxed bald like the vadge in the flick, we pretty much figured it was a fake from the beginning, since it looked less human than a Fleshlight. But whatever, we're more intrigued with the idea of a porn industry Costco. Where can we get a card, because we want to push a cart laden with bargain basement double pronged dongs and a 6.5 gallon drum of Astroglide, whistling a happy tune. more »

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March 20, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "Why Don't You Fuck Your Whole Movie?"

• Lily Tomlin thinks David O. Russell is a "motherfucker". David O. Russell thinks Lily Tomlin is a "cunt" and a "bitch". They Hate Huckabees! Two awesomely NSFW clips here. If you only watch one video of a comedienne and an overrated director trading cruel barbs and throwing set dressing around this year, make it this one.

• YO, Samantuh! Ay oh, oh ay, you're showin' some cleave!

• Vince Vaughn: now 87% more bloated and stinky and crazy!

• Shanna and Travis. Reuinted and it feels so good. Together again, naturally. Baby, just one more try. And so forth and so on.

• Tara Reid eschews bra, trots out those Frankenteats yet again.

• Leonardo DiCaprio held peace talks with Israel's Vice Premier. Because if anyone can stop the fighting with Palestine, it's the homeless kid from Growing Pains.

• Paris and Jenna Jameson compare Fraggle weaves; vaginal chancres.

• We once made fun of Rose McGowan's strange new face. As it turns out, she almost lost her eye in an accident. Yarrr!

• The secret diaries of Anna Nicole are up for auction. "Deer diery. today i waked up and i eated some pasghetti. then i layd down on my can a pee bed and take a nap. then it was time for diner then i had sex with some gies. xoxox"

• Heigl kinda sounds like heinie.

• Salma Hayek sports the Ugly Betty/Love Story hybrid maternity look.

• The Dunst just Razorlights up a room, doesn't she?

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March 13, 2007

BREAKING NUDES: South by Southwest 2007

It's that time again, when we send pervy guys with mad eyes into darkened theaters, armed with a pen, a notebook, and a nice long trench coat, to count boobies. This year's South by Southwest festival offers up Elisha Cuthbert showing (someone else's) breasts, Chloë Sevigny unsurprisingly dropping her top, and a very special shoutout to the man who is the sun in our pervy Milky Way, Mr. Skin. more »

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October 02, 2006

Katherine Heigl's Grayte Anatomy

Ah, Monday. With birds atwitter, the sun rose in the east and we gently stirred from our slumber, wiped the crust from our eyes and the ~~coke~~ toothpaste-and-talc cocktail from our nostrils, and greeted the new day by staring at Egotastic!'s set of pictures featuring Katherine Heigl in a bikini. And then we sat down to write a story about it, and accidentally typed "Keigl" instead of "Heigl" which kind of looks like "kegel" and then we started laughing and then after the laughing we started thinking about Katherine Heigl doing kegels while eating kugel and we laughed anew. more »

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June 13, 2006

Heigl Has a Hankering for Handcuffs

We always sort of suspected that Katherine Heigl is our type of girl. She's smokin' hot, has a nice big pair of knockers, and is pretty comfortable with nudity. And we learn that she's into rough sex. And lots of it. If we're not here tomorrow morning, don't worry; we were probably just arrested for climbing into Kat's bedroom window. more »

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June 08, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: Six Times in Two Hours

• Heath Ledger got squirted with water as a prank and took it really personally. What, are you gonna cry about it? Huh, little tiny baby Heathie? Gonna cry? Go on, cryyyyyy, baby! Cryyyyyy!

• Piloh Shitt, for real this time:

Many, many more pictures of mom, dad, Zahara, new baby, and nursing bra here.

• We're just a copper hair away from seeing the freckles pouring forth from Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch.

• Speaking of Lindsay, she incurred the fiery wrath of Vogue editrix Anna Wintour at the CFDA Awards when she failed to get a hall pass to visit the potty. Six times. In two hours.

• Elle MacPherson is still a foxy MacPerson.

• Nicole Richie, mad with hunger, throws water all over some poor paparazzo. Maybe she mistook him for Heath Ledger?

• Jessica Alba pulls a Teri Hatcher and trusses up her already buoyant, flawless blammos with tape. Son of a bitch.

• Katherine Heigl wants to show off her Grey's Anatomy on a sex tape. We can say with utterly no sarcasm whatsoever that the idea is a wonderful one and should be carried out immediately, and with zest.

• PIcking up freshly-laid, warm dog crap with a plastic bag makes Mariah's nipples hard.

• Chris "alpha heterosexual male" Klein grows the beard that Topher Grace just shaved off.

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Mr. Skin's Nudity Review: Katherine Heigl
CNdb: Katherine Heigl Review