filed under: Kate Moss
August 07, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Supa Dupa Krupa

Joanna Krupa gets naked for Maxim. Maxim-um mammage. (
The Blemish)
Mr. Skin asks: who's the hottest dame in a superhero movie? (
Mr. Skin)
Beauty and the Undereye Bags:
Catherine Keener is porking
Benicio del Toro. (
Hollyscoop)
Shia the Beef will not have to have his pinky amputated. So. Uh. Great, we guess. (
Celebitchy)
46-21-55.
Kim Kardashian in a bikini. (
Drunken Stepfather)
Kate Moss switched lives with her nanny for a day. Which marks the first time Kate has seen her child since its birth. Awww. (
Female First)
Jessica Alba humps a chair like her name was Nomi Malone. (
Cityrag)
Jessica Simpson strips for Tony Romo via webcam. Haw, like we're supposed to believe Jessica Simpson knows how to turn a computer on? (peanut gallery: "Well, she sure know how to turn ME on! Ahahahaha!") (
Holy Taco)
Sienna Miller's friends maintain that she did not wreck Balthazar Getty's marriage. She just stuck a knife in its already rotting corpse and twisted it around and then cut off its head is all. (
CelebWarship)
Morgan Freeman and his wife split. We blame Sienna Miller. (
Daily Stab)
June 25, 2008
Jerry Springer Gives Final Thought to Kate Moss

When stars have serious problems, they usually seek out advice and a sympathetic ear from a respected professional.
Britney Spears sees top psychiatrists in Los Angeles, several B-listers seek out the help of Dr. Drew,
Mike Myers bros down with Deepak Chopra. And when it comes to venting about her best friend Rhys Ifans getting dumped by
Sienna Miller, powder-loving supermodel
Kate Moss sits down for a tete-a-tete with Jerry Springer. Yes. Jerry Springer. According to our personal gossip guru,
FemaleFirst, the two have been meeting up at the Dorchester hotel in London for serious rap sessions:
A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "She's got a lot on her mind and she tends to take on her friends' problems and concerns as well. Jerry has patiently listened to her worries and given her some sterling advice. Instead of hating Sienna for upsetting her friend, Kate has managed to see things from her perspective and has calmed down about the whole, sorry affair. This unlikely therapy has turned her into a new woman."
Furthermore, Kate was overheard calling Sienna "that five dolla weave-ass ho!" before Sienna told Kate to "git yer fat trash ass outta here afore I git a switch n' pound the tar outta you!" Then Steve Wilkos separated the two and everyone celebrated by getting their Jerry beads. Yaaaayy! JerRY! JerRY JerRy!
more »
June 18, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: An Emmy's Just Like a Razzie, Right?

Lindsay Lohan has pulled a Heigl and withdrawn her name from the Emmy race. To which the Emmy panel said, "OK. Sounds good. Who's Lindsay Lohan?" (
Celebitchy)
Mickey Rourke takes his new face out to ogle some gay stripper's grape-smugglers. (
Yeeeah!)
Keanu Reeves is seeing
China Chow. You're also seeing China Chow. Seeing her topless, that is. In related news, China Chow is not kibble for Chinese people that comes in a 15 lb bag. Who knew? (
Taxi Driver)
Jennifer Lopez and Unfrozen Caveman Husband take their spawn out for some fresh air. (
Faded Youth)
Forget danceoffs;
Mel B is getting her revenge on Eddie Murphy with an album called
Beverly Hills Cock. That sounds nice. (
Daily Stab)
The many toups of
Jeremy Piven. (
Cityrag)
Nicole Richie gets her Mrs. Roper on. (
Seriously OMG WTF?!)
Gisele Bundchen speaks highly of beau
Tom Brady; says he "doesn't have a bad bone in his body." That's right, because his bad bone is in YOUR body. Swish! (
CelebWarship)
Boil some water and get some clean sheets--
Britney's on her way to Lousiana to be there for Jamie-Lynn's birthin'! Wait a minute, we're talking about Spearses. Boil some Diet Mountain Dew and get some dirty sheets! (
The Hollywood Gossip)
Puffy Dangle Doobie Diddle waxes his nutbag. It is imperative that we know this. (
The Blemish)
Kate Moss dons a tasteful, maternal see-through dress to take her daughter for a stroll. (
Flisted)
Anne Hathaway is all, "there once was a man from Nantucket." (
WENN)
March 26, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Pamela and Camela (Toe)

Pam Anderson's marriage to Rick Salomon has been annulled. In the eyes of the law, that means it never happened. Let us never speak of this again. (
Hollywire)
MrSkin.com scores the first ever interview with Christian Landers, the dude behind the high-larious
StuffWhitePeopleLike.com! (
Mr. Skin)
Madonna claims that her marriage is ripe with "erotica". Excellent way to work your song title in there, Madge. Was your wedding La Isla Bonita? (
Female Foist)
Kate Moss sans the clammy, crackulous influence of Pete Doherty = foxy. (
Cityrag)
Awwww.
Carmen Electra has found herself another funny little eyeliner-wearing alternarocker to love. (
Daily Stab)
Sophie Monk's religious last name belies the deep cleave of her camel toe. (
Drunken Stepfather)
Renee Zellweger attended a screening of Leatherheads donning a leathered face. Sorry, Renee. You seem like a nice lady, you just make it so easy. (
Allie Is Wired)
Sorry, boys! Looks like that hot slice of preggo jailbait
Jamie Lynn Spears is off the market! (
The Blemish)
I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, he's a Pepper,
Axl Rose is a Pepper. (
Seriously? OMG! WTF?)
March 20, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Pregalicious

Her bump. Her bump her bump her bump. Her lovely baby bump. Check it out. (
Yeeeah!)
Pete Wentz says he one attempted suicide with a bottle of Ativan and some Jeff Buckley. Hell, Pete, if it's uncontrollable vomiting you're after, try listening to your own music. BURN! (
Celebitchy)
Scary celebrity faces. Poor
Busey never gets a damn break. (
Cityrag)
Adriana Lima beans! The virgin model gets nude for GQ. (
Popoholic)
Kate Moss and her boyfriend sing and dance on Jim Morrison's grave. Then afterwards they made a slam book and drank a wine cooler and totally stole one of Kate's mom's Virginia Slims and pierced each other's ears with safety pins!!! You guys are sooo busted!!!! (
FemaleFirst)
Eliot Spitzer's paid lady companion, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, once Went Wild. (
Drunken Stepfather)
Is there a
Jennifer Aniston tell-all in the works? We are on the cusp of finally, finally learning how she gets that glass-like hair sheen! (
PopCrunch)
Gaze upon the spawn of
J. Lo! Admire them! Bow! Bow, minions! (
Allie Is Wired)
March 11, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Weird and Scary

Ashley Olsen thinks paparazzi are "weird and scary". Also, paparazzi thinks Ashley Olsen is "weird and scary". (
Female First)
Kate Beckinsale does
Anna Karina for
Mean magazine. Eat your tits out,
Lohan-as-Marilyn! (
Popbytes)
Kate Moss models. She doesn't model clothes, though, since it seems she's not wearing any. (
Egotastic!)
Mischa Barton's recent DUI charges haven't affected the buoyant spirits of her side boob much. (
Taxi Driver)
Star Jones is set to divorce husband Al Reynolds, because she "felt Al had spent their marriage riding her success while she did all the heavy lifting". Either that, or Al spent their marriage riding hot, oiled-up dudes who look like they do a lot of heavy lifting. (
I Don't Like You In That Way)
Some yahoo called 911 on
Heather Locklear and told them she was going to kill herself.
Denise Richards, you prankster. (
CelebWarship)
Heath Ledger never updated his will to include
Michelle Williams or baby Matilda. (
Celebridiot)
Button, button, who's got the button?
Patricia Heaton sure doesn't. WTF? (
Drunken Stepfather)
Jenna Jameson dresses up as
Bettie Page for PETA. "I'd rather get donkey-punched after ATM than wear fur!" makes for a pleasant catchphrase. (
The Blemish)
Janet Jackson has been hospitalized with the flu. Much more plausible than "Exhaustion", to be sure. (
I'm Not Obsessed)
Rebecca Romijn's lettuce heads. They're ripe, they're healthy, they're shilling for mall-slut store Bebe! (
Popoholic)
December 20, 2007
Cokeheads on Film Part II
Back in July we told you about the shocking, racy, totally sexy and raunchy video footage
Porky Petey Dough-erty possesses of
Kate Moss. It included such embarrassing moments as Kate singing. Wow. If something like that got out it would totally ruin her career as a really skinny person who can be made pretty with loads of makeup. Now Pete wants to turn the footage into a TV show and Kate is pissed.
Page Six reports:
SUPERMODEL Kate Moss has her lawyers busy trying to gag her drug-addict ex-boyfriend, Pete Doherty. The Babyshambles frontman is negotiating with Britain's ITV2 network to tell all about their romance and share his home videos of her in a documentary titled "Kate & Pete: A Love Story." Doherty, who split with Moss last summer, could make $1 million, a source said, adding, "Producers hope he'll let them use a lot of film he and Kate shot on camcorders." But an insider told PageSix.com, "Kate is furious with Pete. She has contacted her lawyers and plans to get an injunction to stop the production." Moss will be horrified if the tapes surface. "Some of it is really raunchy stuff Kate believed would never be seen by anyone else," we're told. "She'll feel betrayed."
We're hoping Kate's lawsuit isn't successful and the TV show will air. Mostly because we assume it will be just like
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, but with fewer "y'all"s and pot and more "cheerio, guv'nor"s and coke.
December 03, 2007
Kate Moss's Boob Tubes
Kate Moss! If she isn't doing a
Tony Montana impression in a music studio, she's at the beach, blocking out the sun with the gargantuan, penis-like protrusions on her breasts. She is nothing if not consistent. Here she is in Mexico with not-her-boyfriend. Says
News of the World:
Kate Moss, 33, was snapped in Mexico with the muscly hunk while rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince worked on The Kills' new album in Britain. At one point her mystery man, in just trunks, draped himself over her near-naked body as she chatted on her mobile.
It's the second time in three months that Kate, who dumped Pete Doherty earlier this year, has jetted to the sun without Jamie.
A pal said: "Jamie is very quiet and prefers walks in the country to beach fun. Kate is over Pete but she misses the mayhem that went with him."
Only last week Jamie got upset when Pete asked Kate to go on stage with his band Babyshambles. She ended up refusing. Now it looks like he's got yet another rival for her affections.
One holidaymaker who spotted her with the muscleman said: "They were very playful and touchy-feely and seemed to be having a lot of fun."
Pete Doherty looked like a young Truman Capote with track marks, and this man appears to be penis-free. Kate has a type: the literate eunuch! And after the cut, see the naked parts.
more »
September 25, 2007
Nudity-Hating Sienna Miller and Kate Moss in Showcase Showdown

She may be a stilted actress, she may don belts across her chestral region, but she's one of the only modern actresses willing to pony up for Sexy Lady Stories.
Sienna Miller week continues here at CNW, and the former penis snood of Jude Law is now angry that her
nude shots from
Hippie Hippie Shake were leaked. Sources told
The Sun:
Sienna was really hurt. She took some persuading to do the scenes and spent most of the day in her dressing gown building up to it. She is reluctant to do the rest of her nude scenes.
Yes, if there is anything Sienna Miller is wary of, it's nudity. She's definitely never been naked
here. Or
here. And especially not
here. So you can see why she'd be petulant and threaten to withhold her beans because she was showing her beans in a movie that would be widely distributed so everyone would see her beans. Beans.
After the cut, Sienna and
Kate Moss catfight. In the battle of the scrawny British blondes with questionable taste in the opposite sex, only one can emerge victorious.
more »
September 10, 2007
Kate Moss Gives You a Place to Hang Your Hat

It's no surprise that
Kate Moss has been caught minus a shirt once again. Her nipples are longer than an average human penis--one has to imagine that they bust through every piece of clothing she owns, like the Kool-Aid Man through a solid brick wall.
Nips like a 2nd grader's fingers, gently and safely placed under the cut. Because we care.
more »
August 01, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: "Nasty Old Rag"

Nasty old rag
Kate Moss might have to pay off ex Pete Doherty to shut him up. Ah, the perils of cracky love. (
Celeb Warship)
Paris just a hair(less) away from her 'tang-flashing halcyon days. (
Drunken Stepfather)
Nomi Malone, in a bikini, poolside. Hopefully, after these pictures were taken, she doffed those espadrilles, hopped in the pool with that guy, and recreated the
Showgirls floppin'-like-beached-salmon scene. (
Hollywood Tuna)
Paris Hilton has not been cut out of the Hilton will, as we recently reported. Bah, life is so ugly and unfair. (
IDontLikeYouInThatWay)
Courtney Love gets bedazzled. (
Celebrity Puke)
Michael Lohan is such a great dad. He doesn't even know the name of
Lindsay's new movie. (
In Touch)
Kirsten Dunst is too drunk for America, but too noisy for England. (
A Socialite's Life)
Hayden Panettiere picks n' licks. (
Derek Hail)
July 23, 2007
Cokeheads on Film

Perennial CNW favorite
Kate Moss is shaking in her moccasins over the prospect of her doughy, clammy ex love
Pete Doherty releasing racy tapes of the couple's intimate moments. "Who gets custody of the sex tape?" is the most pressing question facing celebrities after a breakup. It's a difficult enough decision when the bust-up is amicable, but when one of the members of the couple runs on crack and heroin the way cows run on grass, it takes it to a whole different level of trainwreck.
Yeeeah! quotes the
Sun:
"There are still some bits and pieces floating about of Pete with Kate. "She has got rid of most of it. Six out of eight tapes have been destroyed. But she wanted to bury the lot before he could humiliate her by selling them or putting them on the internet. Pete could do what he wants with them." Referring to the video clips previously posted online, the source adds, "If they made that public, just think what could be on the tapes they held back."
Yeah, those previously posted clips are
here and
here and involve Kate and Pete singing a song in an attic, and then Kate and Pete singing the same song while dressed in uniforms. Soooooo, yeah. If they made that public, man, can you imagine what's on these unreleased ones? Maybe Kate and Pete singing the same song while wearing badger costumes. Or Kate and Pete singing a
different song. Racy! Anyway, do you really want to see these two going at it? He looks like a hairless, overgrown toddler. His dong probably resembles a crippled, sad mollusk trying to find a shell home. Man, that was evocative. We're deep!
more »
July 03, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: Ambien And Candie's

Scarlett Johansson dons septum piercing, (fake?) tattoo; dresses like Hot Lips Houlihan. (
CityRag)
Hunkosaurus Rex
John Stamos blames his recent
slurry interview on Ambien. Right now,
David Hasselhoff and
Paula Abdul are cursing themselves for not thinking of that one first. (
Glitterati Gossip)
Crack-addicted, clammy, rotten-toothed, smack-shooting,
overgrown fetus cheats on beautiful multimillionaire
supermodel icon. What? (
Yeeeah!)
Thanks to
Fergie, product-plugging in songs is about to get even more prevalent. We can't wait for Jay-Z to namecheck Palmettos and for the new
Avril Lavigne album, "Heartache and Kraft Singles, Which Are Made with 100% Real Milk". (
Allie Is Wired)
Michelle Rodriguez does public chin-ups, though she probably also does pubic chin-ups. With girls. (
Derek Hail)
The reason we haven't seen totally naked, total-body, high-def pics of
Nick Lachey and
Vanessa Minnillo full-on boning in a hot tub? M-O-N-E-Y. That, and the fact that no one really cares about 'em much. (
Celebitchy)
More
Megan Fox. Now, 22% more see-through. (
Popoholic)
Eva Longoria has a serious problem involving an ass crack, hungry for spandex. (
I Don't Like You In That Way)
June 12, 2007
Kate Moss Said No, No, No To Amy Winehouse's Husband

You may not be able to tell the difference between the chapeaued men who stick their withered British dicks inside
Kate Moss and
Amy Winehouse, but Cokate definitely notices the distinction. When Kate encountered Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil (whom we're convinced lifted his very English name straight from an Evelyn Waugh novel and is actually an opportunistic grifter from central Ohio), at the Isle of Wight music festival over the weekend, she was none too pleased. Relays
Celebrity Warship:
Still celebrating her blinding set on Saturday, Amy and her new hubby yesterday headed for the VIP Rolling Stones backstage area.
But after working his way through a rider of 24 bottles of champagne, Blake was feeling lairy and jumped on Kate at the bar.
The model, at the event with Pete Doherty, reacted violently as Blake tried to put an arm round her. An onlooker said: Kate went mental. Blake asked where her boyfriend was and she sneered Gone for a piss, you fucking queer.
Kate shouted to her security guard, Get him out the way, and he was thrown out.
We're surprised that Kate didn't see Blake's approaching fedora and greet him with a "Hey, baby" and a hearty face licking. We mean, look at the guy:
Had we seen that picture without an explanation, we would have thought, "That's a great wig, Kate. Is it from the Ken Paves collection?"
more »
May 09, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: Wiggin' Out

"Pink bra. Pink push-up bra. Uhhh . . . acid wash. Skirt that's . . . acid wash with ball-point pen. Uhhh . . . wig. Bad wig. Bad, brown wig. Ratty brown--" "Things
Britney Spears wears!" Ding ding ding! You just won $25,000 Pyramid! (
Egotastic!)
Penny Kravitz? (
Female First)
What's in
Scary Spice's upskirtish girl-folds? Is that underwear slipping away into her Murphy-soiled parts? A tampon string? Errant t.p. detritus? (
Taxi Driver)
Kate Moss wears sheer dress, shows what she's got up Top(Shop). (
Drunken Stepfather)
Paris Hilton is petitioning her fans to keep her out of jail. You should sign this petition to keep her in. Because if Bridget Jones 2 taught us anything, it's that jail is fun!(
IDLYITW)
We look at these pictures and imagine the sound
Jessica Simpson's breasts were making as they were crammed, via shoehorn, into that dress. (
Yeeeah!)
Paris drove on a suspended license. Again. Yesterday. Seriously, go sign that petition. (
D Listed)
After a period of dark, self-imposed Timberlakian mourning,
Cameron Diaz goes back to the blonde. (
Cityrag)
Enjoy a visit with
Posh Spice v. 1.0. (
ICYDK)
Tom Sizemore, busted for meth. Just like your cousins Travis and Crystal Jean. (
TMZ)
Ashlee and
Jessica do not suffer each other gladly. (
A Socialite's Life)
Depp's got two tickets to
Paradis. Won't you pack your bags? We'll marry tonight. (
Gabby Babble)
May 03, 2007
CNW Junk Drawer: Powderpants

Kate Bosworth takes off her bikini just long enough to slip a bit of nip. (
Egotastic!)
John Voight finds his
daughter "fascinating" and "attractive". And "stunning". If Papa Joe Simpson ever gets out of the daughter managing/ogling game, he might have a worthy replacement. (
GlossLip)
Sienna Miller slips both nip and panty waistband in the same outfit. Now that's multitasking.
Slutty multitasking! (
Drunken Stepfather)
Busta Rhymes got Busta-ed. What a hilarious play on words! (
Yeeeah!)
Vanessa Minnillo shills for Bongo jeans. Bongo's still around? What's next,
Jessica Alba for Palmetto and
Mischa Barton for Camp Beverly Hills? Anyway, cleavage. (
Derek Hail)
Eva Mendes either showing a swath of upskirt panties, or she has a crotch that is a colorless, shadowless void. But which? (
Taxi Driver)
Kate Moss turns up with white powder on her pants. We dunno, Kate is pretty much a pro at blowing rails--it's hard to believe she'd let some go to waste hanging out on her Tsubis. (
The Blemish)
Scary Spice is taking Norbit to court, cuz she's mad at him, haaaay. (
TMZ.com)
Carmen Electra: in Soviet Russia, booty short and yarn bra wear YOU! (
Cityrag)
April 05, 2007
Kate Moss Loves Pork Rinds, Will Soon Pork Rings

On this, one of the slowest gossip weeks in nigh on a year, we're grateful to our gossip prom chaperone,
FemaleFirst, for a one-two shot of totally tubular headlines: "
Kate Moss Loves Pork" and "
Pete Doherty's Penis Piercing." The former refers to the famously slender Miss Moss snarfing up pub pork rinds, while the latter story tells a moralistic tale of Doherty's plans to become a 1994-style modern primitive with a rod through his johnson. However, we make no bone(r)s about our belief that FemaleFirst is trying to send us subliminal backwards-Judas-Priest-LP style messages. Maybe these two stories are interconnected. Maybe Kate's newfound insatiable love of pork is directly related her her love's need to carve up his hog. Maybe by "loves pork" they mean "loves poke," meaning "loves poking holes in Pete's prick." Kate is perfectly pleased to poke permeable perforations in Pete's polluted penis.
more »
April 04, 2007
Coke Binges Not a Turn-on for FHM Readers
FHM readers, which at this point we think is a group consisting solely of one frat house at the University of Iowa, don't find
Kate Moss all that sexy anymore.
Page Six explains:
For the first time in a decade, it looks as though the reed-thin supermodel will not make FHM's annual list of the "World's Sexiest 100 Women." While she ranked No. 87 last year, she's now thousands of votes short of making the Top 100, with the contest ending next week.
We're actually quite shocked by this news, as we know that accessibility often times increases allure, and seeing a sexy model traipsing around town with someone who looks like his biggest goal is to score a temporary residence spot at the YMCA should make any guy feel like he has a chance. Also, the item continues:
"She hasn't looked great as of late," FHM spokesman Dan Cooper told us. "I think the average guy on the street prefers someone that's a little more womanly." Among those set to be high on the list this year are Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller.
Yeah, those girls are so womanly they're practically fatasses. It's disgusting, really.
more »
March 23, 2007
Moss Serves up Mam on the Beach

Sometimes seeing the exact same thing over and over again can get boring. The fortieth time you drive around and the circle and see Big Ben, it's not so exciting. But when it's
Kate Moss's nipple we're talking about it's more like seeing an old friend who doesn't come around often enough. He's always welcome, you'll always have a spot of tea for him, and you never tire of saying, "Cheerio, Kate Moss's nipple. How's the old chap?"
more »
March 02, 2007
Even Rock Stars Think Kate & Pete Humping Is Disgusting

Like we always say, CelebNewsWire has so much in common with
Kate Moss. First, we look fierce in skinny jeans. Also, we've been kicked out of fancy pants British music awards shows for humping our crackhead boyfriend in the alley more times than we can even remember.
more »
March 01, 2007
Puff the Magic Penguin Meets Little Petey Paper

Sure, we've been joking a lot lately about celebrities blazing up in public, but
Pete Doherty has gone too far. Too far! The
New York Daily News shocks and enthralls:
Kate Moss' boyfriend Pete Doherty may have fed a joint to a penguin. On a trip to the Cotswold Wildlife Park in England, the couple gawked at Humboldt penguins. Doherty then flicked his hand-rolled cigarette into the pen and one of the creatures ate it as photographers clicked away.
Perhaps old Pete took a few too many sucks on the glass d and, after a mega-high viewing of the hit animated comedy
Happy Feet, thought he heard the penguins say--with the voices of
Hugh Jackman,
Brittany Murphy, et al--that they need him to make their feet truly "happy". Then they winked and nudged each other and lifted their flippers to their beaks to make the international sign for weed.
more »
February 28, 2007