filed under: Kanye West

• Tiny smurfling Hayden Panettiere hoists her wee hooters aloft. (Drunken Stepfather)

• L.A. dudes in bands, hold on to your wieners--Mischa Barton is now single. (Digital Spy)

• Samantha Ronson announces that Lohan's boobs will become Mrs. and Mrs. Ronson soon. (The Blemish)

• Mr. Skin kicks off the Top 50 Sexiest TV Shows list! Will Mama's Family make the cut? (Mr. Skin)

• Rachael Leigh Cook ("'memba her?" - TMZ) still looks adorable, especially in her bikini. (Fatback)

• Garbage girl Shirley Manson is a urinal. You heard us. (Cityrag)

• Naomi Campbell plans to have babies. Great. Ever notice how a rattle is the exact length and weight of a Blackberry? (Derek Hail)

• Everybody wants Tina Fey or Megan Mullally to do a Sarah Palin impression. But Gina Gershon's got it covered, bikini and all. (Yeeeah!)

• Josh Hartnett is the only man alive who plans on suing someone for saying he had hot sex in a library. Dork. (IDLYITW)

• Anne Hathaway's scuzzo ex got sentenced to five years in the big house. And we just got sentenced to 10 minutes of masturbating to Anne naked in Havoc. Everyone wins! (CelebWarship)

• And he shall be forever called Fishdick. (Holy Taco)

• Kanye Wested got arrested. (Bitten and Bound)

• VH1 is working on a new dating show starring Antonio Sabato Jr. You know who's going to be really excited about this? My sister, in 1991. (Seriously OMG WTF)

• Look! We made a list of the "Top 100 Hilarious and Addictive Celebrity Blogs". See, we're not as bad as everyone says. (The Love Coach)

Whatever mystical hoodoo has been floating around Famouspeopleland making them get impregnated with twins has soured and is now causing relationships to melt like a Fat Frog in the sun. Kanye West and his fiancιe have called off their engagement, and today it was announced that two other relationships have shit the bed.

Packing their bags and boarding the S.S. Brokenheart: the pneumatically awesome Kelly Brook and Your Friend Billy Zane! According to our gossip marriage counselor, FemaleFirst, a source said,

"After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement. The split is completely amicable and they remain good friends."

Keep in mind that Billy attempted to put the kibosh on Kelly baring any more of her storied flesh than necessary. We expect a grand, post-breakup coming out for Kelly in the near future. Coming out of her drawers, that is.

And speaking of "coming out", Star Jones has filed for divorce from her waxed and manicured hunk o' man Al Reynolds. She told ET:

“Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life. A month ago I filed for divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone’s life that requires privacy with one’s thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman.”

Al, too, looks to emerge from this period a stronger and wiser woman.

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And now, a vocabulary lesson from Kanye West (via Page Six):

IF you use the word "bling" these days, you're unhip and totally out of style, according to Kanye West. The hip-hop star tells Complex magazine: "Only white people and older black people say 'bling' now. If a white person uses slang too early, then that makes them look like a wigger. But if black people use slang too late, then it makes them look like a wigger."

That's a valiant effort in convincing us that you're hip to outmoded forms of slang, Kanye, but someone forgot to tell you that no one's used to the word wigger--outside of as a descriptive for Kevin Federline--since about 1992. After the interview, Kanye spent a stack of dead presidents on a phat betty who was all that and a bag of chips.

Kanye: See, it's shaped something like this . . .
Tom: I got that part, what I don't understand is where exactly the penis goes.



Katie: (to herself through gritted teeth) If this fucking midget doesn't let go of my hand I'm going to bite those jagass sunglasses right off his face. His hands are always slimy, it's so gross. Gawd, I can't take this anymore. I just gave fake birth, like, two weeks ago, and then he locked me in that room and made me read all of L. Ron's books AGAIN and now I have to be here and pretend that I don't want to gnaw off both of his arms and then beat him to death with them. I swear to God I've got to get out of here. I wonder if Chris Klein would take me back. Even he's better than this a-hole.



Katie: I'm going to take all of your money. And if you had a soul, I'd take that too. I'm in charge now, bitch, and don't you forget it. more »

• Actor Chris Penn found dead in Santa Monica. Goodnight, Willard, may you dance around tractors in heaven. Let's hear it for the boy.

• Oh baby, Keith! Keith's got what Kidman neee-eeeeds! But she say he's just a friend! She she say he's just a friend!

• Promo pics of an old but still trampy Sharon Stone from the upcoming Basic Instinct 2. No, she's not showing her 'tang.

• Unlike George Bush, Pam Anderson's ass cares about black people.

• Paris Hilton knows that the most flattering accessory for any modern girl's nip slip is a pair of kicky handcuffs. Sassy!

• Headline of the century.

• Avril Lavigne grows up, loses tie and armwarmers, looks purdy.

• If the Pavarotti deign to snap pictures of Russell Crowe's preggo wife, they will be "tarred and feathered." Which is a step up from "phoned and phoned."

Most white people are just discovering who this Kanye West person is, yet he believes that he still deserves more respect--in the form of cash, of course! The Grammy-winning rapper feels that he should be paid to appear in magazines, even if bigger stars will do it for free. more »