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filed under: Julia Roberts

April 24, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: A Whole Bundch of Side Boob

• Gisele gifts us with the side of her supermodel superbooble. (Drunken Stepfather)

• All hail the Poshycat Doll. (Daily Stab)

• Kids, heed the sad tale of Naomi Campbell's hairline: weave abuse leads to baldness. (Yeeeah!)

• Rihanna has a crotch that emits mystical hot pink beams! (Cityrag)

• More Mischa Barton titty buttons from Closing the Ring. Now with video! (Egotastic!)

• Julia Roberts stinks. (FemaleFirst)

• Julianne Moore shows Moore of herself. Namely, nipples. (Fatback)

• Billie Piper flashed a peck of freckled poppers. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Amy Winehouse spends a night being dainty and demure. (CelebWarship)

• Miley Cyrus in a typical MySpace picture pose. I.e., with exposed underwear. (Pop Crunch)

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March 05, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Sweet Leaf

• Jenna Jameson, looking Bratz-ier than ever. (F-listed)

• No, my first name ain't baby. It's Janet. Miss Rackson if you're see-through. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Lindsay Lohan goes back to red, lays off the burnt umber fake bake, approaches former Mean Girls-era loveliness. (Allie Is Wired)

• Keanu Reeves and Parker Posey. Two great stoners that stone great together. (Lainey Gossip)

• Perhaps they should head over to the radio station to tear into a box of Scooby Snacks with Ashlee Simpson. (Yeeeah!)

• Mental wounds not healing. Life's a bitter shame. Julia Roberts is going off the rails on a crazy train.(Cityrag)

• Hayden Panettiere's mom is "very proud" that her teenage daughter is moving in with 31-year-old Milo Ventimiglia. Awwww. (FemaleFirst)

• Cruz Beckham, spawn of David and Posh Spice, is a SUPERSTAR. (Bitten and Bound)

• Kevin Federline's gut threatens to Popozao out of his golf shirt. (Hollywood Backwash)

• To Paris Hilton, "foreign-looking man with long gray beard" = the path to spiritual enlightenment. (Hollywood Grind)

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December 04, 2007

Juilia Roberts: Nudity's Enemy

You wanna see Julia Roberts naked? Tough titties, cowboy, 'cause it ain't gonna happen. Those funbags are used for suckling infants, not perking up peepees. According to In Case You Didn't Know:

Joining the ranks of Brad Pitt, the mother of three now says she prefers not to prance around in the buff on the big screen.

“Listen, there’s a reason why you don’t see me naked me in movies, you don’t see me running around in bathing suits in movies,” Roberts, 40, told E!’s The Daily 10. “It’s just not my thing.”

(No kidding: Roberts famously used a body double to shoot nude scenes in Pretty Woman.)

Yes, Julia used a body double for Pretty Woman's dressing-room scenes, but one little-known fact is that the film does contain one ever-so-brief (we're talking about a quarter of a nanosecond here) very difficult to see glimpse of Julia's right jug. So take that, you nudey nudey liar! Still, one could say, "That was nearly two decades ago; maybe she's changed her mind since then." OK, sure. So now we'll talk about this alleged disdain for bathing suits. Jules's newest movie, Charlie Wilson's War, which hits theaters on Christmas day, includes a shot of Julia emerging from a pool in a bikini. What do you have to say to that, Julia? What's that? Cat got your tongue? Why aren't you talking, dummy? Feeling dumb? Yeah, we thought so. more »

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June 19, 2007

Julia Roberts Baked Up Another Baby

Hey, Julia Roberts had her kid. It's a boy, and his name is Henry Daniel Moder. So basically, Julia went from giving her children names that would make even Frank Zappa or Robert Rodriguez cringe/sob with laughter, to playing it too safe with Hollywood's #1 most popular and commonplace name for boys. Oh, we're so fickle and prone to flights of fancy! We're never satisified! When our dad finally bought us that pony we'd been crying for, we got mad and had it killed because its forelock wasn't flowy enough. more »

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December 29, 2006

Julia Roberts: New Year, New Fetus

Julia Roberts is reportedly pregnant again. Nice job, America's sweetheart! Really. Excellent work there. There are malnourished orphans slowly dying agonizing, painful, wasting deaths in third world countries across the planet. Starving, their stomachs start to digest themselves, bloating in an excruciating fashion while flies lay larvae in their eyeballs and dysentery grips their bowels and they pray for either the sweet release of death, or a wealthy American celebrity to adopt and raise them as their own. But you, Julia Roberts, you chose to throw away your Seasonale and have your loving husband ejaculate inside you while you and he were tucked away in your plush California king-sized bed with tempur-pedic foam, selfishly baking a batch of fetus and thus, letting another innocent soul perish, alone, under the unforgiving sun. Great job. Happy holidays, everyone. more »

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July 20, 2006

Poo-lia Roberts

The Mexican and Mona Lisa Smile didn't exactly garner Scrooge McDuck-like piles of gold at the box office, but now there's something even shittier in Julia Roberts's life . . . actual fecal matter! more »

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March 01, 2005

Titty Woman

Our cherished friend, Femalefirst.com, lets loose with a real corker today. It appears that they gave a special treat of PBR and pot brownies to the chimpanzee they employ to write copy, prompting the clever little beast to drunkenly amble over to his laptop and bang out the golden headline: "Hugh Breasts Are Just Julia Roberts One Complaint About Motherhood". more »

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November 29, 2004

Roberts Reproduces

Grab some frankincense and myrrh, hop on your camel, and follow the shining star to Hollywood--Julia Roberts, like a true overacheiver, has crapped out not one, but two babies! more »

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November 04, 2004

Julia's Preggo Craving: Top Billing!

Blame it on the hormones: knocked-up superstar Julia Roberts is allegedly hopping mad that Catherine Zeta-Jones has been given top billing on posters for upcoming stinker Ocean's Twelve. more »

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Mr. Skin's Nudity Review: Julia Roberts
CNdb: Julia Roberts Review