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filed under: Jenny McCarthy

August 14, 2008

Jenny McCarthy Wears a Bikini and Fondles a Cock on the Beach

Yes. Jenny McCarthy wears a bikini and fondles a cock on the beach.

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July 21, 2008

Britney Spears Attends Something Other Than a Gas Station Toilet

Pop star and unofficial symbol of our great nation Britney Spears took some time out from custody-battling and weave-matting to make an unexpected appearance an a fund raiser for children with autism. Says Us Weekly:

Britney Spears made a surprise appearance at a fundraiser for Jenny McCarthy's autism charity Generation Rescue Saturday in Los Angeles.

As guests like McCarthy's beau [Jim Carrey] and Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller made the rounds, Spears, 26, sipped on red wine.

Spears, 26, "definitely looked happy," a witness tells Usmagazine.com. "She was clapping and smiling a lot."

When asked why she was attending the event, Britney said, "Oh, that's easy! My kids are autistic!" "Really?" a reporter asked incredulously. "Oh yeah," Britney replied. "Jayden James likes to use his boom-boom as finger paint. And Sean Preston, he's real autistic. Give him some Play-Doh and he can sculpt a replica of Mama's lollipops so real I tried to smoke one once. Hyuck! Hyuck!" more »

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July 07, 2008

Who Wore It Best?

Both Jenny McCarthy and beau Jim Carrey dazzle in a dare-to-bare, super-sexy one-piece in an inky hue. Jenny keeps it simple with tinted shades and no jewelry, letting her hot mama beach bod take center stage, but Jim's addition of an age-appropriate yet elegant backwards baseball cap and a semi-tucked moose knuckle in lieu of human female breasts edges him over the top into the winner's circle!

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August 24, 2007

Jenny McKini

Jenny McCarthy has been a spokesperson for Weight Watchers for the last year or so. Though by the looks of these pictures of her in a bikini, she needn't be counting flex points. We busted out a protractor, abacus, and divining rod and were only able to find a half an ounce of fat on Jenny's body. Which was located below the navel, at the juncture of her legs to her torso. It's really weird, but there's a little flap of flab there. More specifically, two flaps. And it appears that her bikini bottoms have cleaved in between these flappy flaps. It kind of resembles, we dunno, like the area between toes. The toes of a large hooved mammal, maybe one native to desert areas? Like a camel or something. It's really odd.

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March 28, 2006

Scarlett Johansson Sexier Than Jessica Alba; Adjust Masturbation Schedule Accordingly

Another day, another lad mag tells you whom you should masturbate to tonight. And in what may be the upset of the century--or at least right behind that whole Crash/Brokeback Mountain thing--Scarlett Johansson is now your top masturbatory fantasy. Jessica Alba is crying into her no-nudity clause as we speak. more »

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February 24, 2006

Apparently Jenny McCarthy Can See into Your Fantasies

Our high-school guidance counselor was really against the idea of us starting up our own traveling orgy that sought out lonely ex-Playmates and comforted them with lots and lots of naked flesh. And we must admit that up until this point the venture has not borne too many profits, but that's what Jenny McCarthy is for. She can't wait to get totally naked with us and all of our D&D buddies. Take that, Mr. Feinstein. more »

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February 02, 2006

Jenna on Jenny. Literally.

We say "Jenna Jameson having sex" and you spring to attention. We say "Jenny McCarthy having sex" and you say, "Jolly good, CelebNewsWire, I am listening! Do go on!" We say "Jenna Jameson and Jenny McCarthy having sexy, sexual sex with each other" and you spontaneously burst into flames. more »

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September 23, 2005

Meet Jenny McCarthy's Best Friend, the Buzz-O-Matic 3000

We never thought we�d mention the name Jenny McCarthy on two consecutive days, but we�ve never been one to pass up a story about a lady talking about her vibrator. more »

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September 22, 2005

Jenny Pee-Pee Pants

Remember when Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas peed her pants onstage? That was funny, wasn't it? Wouldn't it also be funny if Jenny McCarthy, in some sort of bizarre, Howard Stern-induced bout of torture, were to also pee her pants? Yes, it would be. Behold, our newest member to the pee-pee pants club:

Jenny doesn't care if you've seen her pee her pants. She's just a normal girl, and she has bodily functions just like you. And, really, if walking around a grocery store gushing a sea of menstrual blood in Dirty Love didn't embarrass the girl, nothing will. And Howard Stern has even more pics for your perusal here.
More Jenny, minus the pee, at MrSkin.com.

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July 07, 2005

Jenny McCarthy Busts Out! (Of No-Nudity Clause)

Why a former Playboy playmate would have a no-nudity clause in her film contract is a mystery on par with who killed JFK or the true identity of Jandek, but Jenny McCarthy's got one. And she's breakin' it. more »

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January 27, 2005

Sundance Nudity (Un)Wrap-Up

We sent our intrepid reporter to Sundance to uncover all who got uncovered in upcoming indie flicks. And lemme tell ya, boy, in addition to the usual suspects, there's a surprise or two. more »

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December 29, 2004

Celeb Nudity (De)Briefing 12/29

Teri Polo'll make you wanna Focker, bein' naked gets the thumbs-up from DiCaprio, Jenny McCarthy shows her junk in Playboy . . . and to husband again, finally. Read on. more »

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Mr. Skin's Nudity Review: Jenny McCarthy
CNdb: Jenny McCarthy Review