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filed under: Jenna Jameson

September 23, 2008

Jenna Jameson Having Ti-two with Tito

00006ppe.jpegNormally, diseases involving the genitals originate in the porn world and then slowly make their way over to the groins of Hollywood A-listers. But when the disease is getting a gut full of double fetii, the opposite is true. Yes, we knew this was going to happen: Jenna Jameson is pregnant with twins. From her MySpace blog:
Yes everyone, I can officially confirm that Tito and I are expecting twins! I had my second ultrasound today and was greeted by two big healthy babies with pounding hearts. I can't even express the extreme serenity that came over me once I saw my children inside me. It has been my dream to have children for an exremely long time, and I truly feel like finally... the time is right and god has blessed me. I have never felt more like a woman, or more alive.

Tito is happier than I have ever seen him, it is so fulfilling to see him so proud. He looked me in the eye today after our doctors appointmet and said "I'm the luckiest man on earth... thank you for having my babies". I cried.

i have been spending my days on bedrest, not because it is doctor ordered... but because, I am so incredibly fatigued and nauseous. Its hard to drag myself out of bed some mornings, which is hard for me... since I am always so active! I have officially gained 7 pounds so far, and am planning on a lot more. I crave fruit by the gallon... ornages and pineapple are at the top of my list. Cereal at 3 am suits me every night!

Lastly, I want to thank all of you for your unwavering support. It means so much to me, I don't think you even know. There are a lot of nasty comments from insensitive people, but in my state of incredible happiness... It doesnt matter what they say!

I love all of you!
Even her pregnancy announcement is erotic. "Inside me". "Never felt more like a woman". If you didn't know she was writing about double babies, you might think she was writing about double penetration. more »
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September 18, 2008

Aubrey O'Day Licks Pole, Talks Anal Sex

aubrey_o'day_complex_licks_stripper_pole_breasts.jpg In our minds, Danity Kane is one giant step below The Pussycat Dolls. And The Pussycat Dolls are one giant step below the tranny contestant on America's Next Top Model. What's one giant step below Danity Kane? Don't know. Maybe She-Daisy? Paris Hilton's dog walker? Anyway, Danity Kane is pretty low on our celebrity list. But still when one of them starts talking about masturbating to anal sex videos, we guess that's worth paying attention to. Especially when there are accompanying pics of her licking a stripper pole. So if you like marginally famous people talking about porn and doing it in the butt, here's an excerpt from Aubrey O'Day's recent interview with Complex:
So when people hear you’re best friends with Jenna Jameson, they think—
Aubrey O’Day: —I’m going to do sex tapes and porn. Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period.

You seem to like to talk about sex.
Aubrey O’Day: I love porn.

You love watching it?
Aubrey O’Day: Totally. I watch YouPorn.

Do you have a favorite star?
Aubrey O’Day: Jenna Jameson, obviously.

Is it weird watching your BFF?
Aubrey O’Day: I watched her before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, “Oh no!” I had to turn it off. It was horrible. [Ed.—Jenna famously only lets men in the front door, so we’re guessing Aubrey’s a little confused about the title. Up and Cummers #11, maybe?]

Guys are always curious about girls and porn.
Aubrey O’Day: I usually watch black guys doing white girls, that’s my little fetish, even though in real life race isn’t a factor for me. Really, I’m more turned on by watching the girls than the guys. I love someone who looks like they’re really into sex.

All this porn talk raises the question: Would you ever be in one?
Aubrey O’Day: I wouldn’t. I’d like to keep my sex life personal. I’ve had sex on camera with my boyfriend for fun, though.

Damn, you know those things can leak, right?
Aubrey O’Day: I’ve made all of them delete it right after we watched it.

That’s what you think.
Aubrey O’Day: No, I’ve watched them delete it. But let me tell you the key to that. If you do a live feed through the TV, you can watch it on the TV while you’re doing it and it never records.
So there you have it, straight from the mouth of that one chick from that band that Diddy made. Live feeds. It's like making a sex tape, but without all of the Paris Hilton-style fame and Vivid Video payoffs.

aubrey_o'day_complex_breasts.jpg aubrey_o'day_complex_stripper_pole_breasts.jpg
Find a ton more pics and the full interview at Complex.
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August 11, 2008

Jenna Jameson Prefers Boobs Over Puppies and Kittens

jenna_jameson_peta_naked.jpgWhoa, PETA really knows how to get a message across. Finally! Finally, we get to see Jenna Jameson naked! You know, we were planning on keeping our gerbil's nuts intact but after seeing one sixth of a porn star's right breast we're totally changing our minds. Thanks, PETA! more »
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August 06, 2008

Jenna Jameson Has Something New Stuck in Her Woman Parts

jenna_jameson_tito_ortiz.jpgIt's the pitter patter of tiny feet for Jenna Jameson! As opposed to sounds she's a little more used to hearing. Like the pitter patter of millions of droplets of dude juice raining onto her bod. Reports the NY Post:
Congrats to Jenna Jameson. The retired porn queen is pregnant with the baby of her boyfriend, UFC champ Tito Ortiz. "She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she's postponed everything," said our source. "She's completely thrilled, this is something she's wanted for a very long time." Jameson miscarried during her marriage to Jay Grdina, whom she divorced in 2006. She also once failed with in vitro. Jameson's assistant didn't return calls and Ortiz's rep had no comment.
Man. It's a good thing that Jenna's vagina has had a lot of practice with large items passing through it, because that baby has a 50/50 chance of inheriting Tito's elephantine skull. Look at that thing! God love ya, Jenna. That's gonna be like pushing an earth ball through a garden hose. more »
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April 01, 2008

Jenna Jameson Goes from Looking Like the Undead to Costarring with Them

zombiestrippersposter.jpg Zombies! Strippers! Jenna Jameson! Freddy Krueger! We hate to say this, but Zombie Strippers looks kind of good. Or at least more entertaining than anything Lindsay Lohan has been associated with in the past two years. We're not sure whether or not Jenna plays a zombie stripper or just simply a stripper, but we're banking on the former, what with her extensive flesh gobbling experience. You can catch the trailer and judge for yourself at /film. more »
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March 19, 2008

Jenna Jameson Fingers Charlize . . . As Her Sex Heir

jenna_tito_french.jpgIn addition to keeping herself busy with various and sundry plastical surgery procedures, Jenna Jameson has been enjoying her run as a spokesperson for PETA. So much that she's conceiving ideas for other possible advertisements and PSAs. Jenna says,
"It would be amazing if Charlize Theron did one of our 'Go naked' campaigns. I saw her just the other day and she just blew me away. Charlize is so sexy - I would totally love for her to go naked. I'd die for that. Bettie Page was the ultimate sex icon. Then next came Marilyn Monroe, then Pamela Anderson, then me. Now I'm on the lookout for the next woman to pass my title onto. Charlize would be perfect."
Ah, yes. The storied Passing of the Sex Icon Torch ceremony. Only it's not much of a literal torch. It's more of a flaming dildo. Flaming with the clap. Ow, that burns! more »
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March 11, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Weird and Scary

ashley-olsen-squat.jpg• Ashley Olsen thinks paparazzi are "weird and scary". Also, paparazzi thinks Ashley Olsen is "weird and scary". (Female First)

• Kate Beckinsale does Anna Karina for Mean magazine. Eat your tits out, Lohan-as-Marilyn! (Popbytes)

• Kate Moss models. She doesn't model clothes, though, since it seems she's not wearing any. (Egotastic!)

• Mischa Barton's recent DUI charges haven't affected the buoyant spirits of her side boob much. (Taxi Driver)

• Star Jones is set to divorce husband Al Reynolds, because she "felt Al had spent their marriage riding her success while she did all the heavy lifting". Either that, or Al spent their marriage riding hot, oiled-up dudes who look like they do a lot of heavy lifting. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Some yahoo called 911 on Heather Locklear and told them she was going to kill herself. Denise Richards, you prankster. (CelebWarship)

• Heath Ledger never updated his will to include Michelle Williams or baby Matilda. (Celebridiot)

• Button, button, who's got the button? Patricia Heaton sure doesn't. WTF? (Drunken Stepfather)

• Jenna Jameson dresses up as Bettie Page for PETA. "I'd rather get donkey-punched after ATM than wear fur!" makes for a pleasant catchphrase. (The Blemish)

• Janet Jackson has been hospitalized with the flu. Much more plausible than "Exhaustion", to be sure. (I'm Not Obsessed)

• Rebecca Romijn's lettuce heads. They're ripe, they're healthy, they're shilling for mall-slut store Bebe! (Popoholic)
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March 05, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Sweet Leaf

jenna_jameson_surgery.jpg• Jenna Jameson, looking Bratz-ier than ever. (F-listed)

• No, my first name ain't baby. It's Janet. Miss Rackson if you're see-through. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Lindsay Lohan goes back to red, lays off the burnt umber fake bake, approaches former Mean Girls-era loveliness. (Allie Is Wired)

• Keanu Reeves and Parker Posey. Two great stoners that stone great together. (Lainey Gossip)

• Perhaps they should head over to the radio station to tear into a box of Scooby Snacks with Ashlee Simpson. (Yeeeah!)

• Mental wounds not healing. Life's a bitter shame. Julia Roberts is going off the rails on a crazy train.(Cityrag)

• Hayden Panettiere's mom is "very proud" that her teenage daughter is moving in with 31-year-old Milo Ventimiglia. Awwww. (FemaleFirst)

• Cruz Beckham, spawn of David and Posh Spice, is a SUPERSTAR. (Bitten and Bound)

• Kevin Federline's gut threatens to Popozao out of his golf shirt. (Hollywood Backwash)

• To Paris Hilton, "foreign-looking man with long gray beard" = the path to spiritual enlightenment. (Hollywood Grind)
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January 16, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Leg-Spreading and Fetus-Getting

Eva_Mendes_Cleavage.jpg• Cleava Mendes. (Drunken Stepfather)

• "Dear Brad Renfro. We came over to fuck you but you were dead. Love, Tiffany and Amber." Rest in peace, Brad. (Fatback and Collards)

• We want to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!", honestly we do, but we just can't when she keeps flipping us her outer labes. (Taxi Driver)

• Jenna Jameson swears that she will "never spread her legs" for the porn industry again. She will spread Philadelphia's whipped strawberry cream cheese, though. It's the wonderfully spreadable, sweetly fruity topping with only 60 calories per serving! (IDLYITW)

• Alessandra Ambrosio caught Pregnant, too. (The Blemish)

• Zac Efron was rushed to the emergency room for an emergency highlighting. Those buttery chunks ain't gonna streak themselves. (Derek Hail)

• Lumps on Halle Berry's torso: now there are three. (Daily Stab)

• "Now that bulbs flashing more than ever/You can see under my dress, fellas. Ellas. Ellas. Ay. Ay." (Cityrag)

• Jennifer Garner may have been the original target of Tom's Cruise missile of love. (Superficial)

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September 12, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Fetuses and Weave Fits

mischa-barton-roper.jpg• Mischa Barton becomes Mrs. Roper. (Derek Hail)

• Joe Francis wants Vanessa Hudgens to sign a deal with Girls Gone Wild. "Lucrative and record-breaking Disney franchise, or cokehead in a jail cell?" Her mind must be a veritable cacophony of tumult right now! (WWTDD)

• Faulkner. Hemingway. Didion. Joyce. Tommy Lee. (IDLYITW)

• Jennifer Lopez fetuswatch 09/07 begins. (The Blemish)

• And speaking of fetuses, Posh Spice is starting to look like one after an hour of broasting in a cajun marinade. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Stacy's mom has got an upskirt goin' on. (Taxi Driver)

• We'd never seen a praying mantis that likes reverse cowgirl until we saw these pictures of Jenna Jameson's plastiface. (Evil Beet)

• Britney Spears does not suffer Ken Paves gladly, and a Ken Paves wielding faux hair never. (Celeb Warship)

• AND! She's a Brit . . . house. Forget the poon, THIS is quite a spread. (Allie Is Wired)

• Heath Ledger hits the party scene to celebrate his newfound single status, as well as the last clinging remains of his hair. (Celebrity Mound)

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August 28, 2007

Jenna Jameson Sucks

jenna_tito_kiss.jpgWe have seen Jenna Jameson in every position known to humans. The Reverse Cowgirl, the Regular Cowgirl, the Iron Butterfly, the Horny Vicar, the Bloomin' Onion. But this marks the first time we have seen her suck a penis clean out of a man's groin and up through his mouth. They call her the queen of porn for a reason. Respect. more »
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August 23, 2007

Jenna Jameson Takes out the Titties

jenna jameson bikini duck lips.jpg Hey, you know what, guys? Jenna Jameson took out her breast implants. If you're anything like us, you're thinking, "Wow, that's weird. We didn't even notice." And then you'll sit and think for a minute and it will dawn on you that when a normal human loses the body-weight equivalent of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt in the span of six months, of course their boobies get smaller. It's just natural. Which is a word that has never really applied to Jenna. She says of her decision to ditch the plastic palookas:
When I had implants, I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach. I know it sounds funny, but I’d wear high-necked clothes – unless I was at an adult-film convention. So I thought, Why don’t I be who I am and get my real ones back? . . . Even for women with naturally large boobs, getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter . . . before, when I jogged, I had to hold my boobs. I looked like I was molesting myself! . . . The first thing I did when I got home was open my bra. I wasn’t supposed to but I did. I was so happy, I cried. It was like looking into the mirror when I was 17.
Jenna also claims that she's quitting porn forever (because, hey, if Paris Hilton can parlay fucking-on-film fame into getting paid half a mil to sit in the VIP booth at a club and wave at tourists from Duluth every fifteen minutes, why can't Jenna?) and she's considering every blonde and sometimes blonde in Hollywood to dive into her life story in a planned biopic.
I would love Scarlett Johansson to play me. I think Rachel McAdams is amazing, and Sienna Miller.
We're guessing that when it comes casting time, the leading lady's rιsumι will have a bit more "Stripper #2--The Sopranos" than "made people remember Woody Allen is more than a gross old perv, he makes really good movies too."

But back to these implants. What exactly did she do with them? Are they framed and perched atop her mantle next to all those AVN awards? Is she going to sell them on eBay like Jordan to fund her post-porn life? Are they going to start a whole new niche in the porn world as the stars of Silicome on Jenna's Tits?
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August 14, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "You Liars. You Bulimic Liars.”

courtney_love_bazaar.jpg• Everyone in the world has an eating disorder except for Courtney Love. Or is that Janice from the Muppets, naked? (Celebitchy)

• Jessica Alba plays blind. Blind and nipply. (Yeeeah!)

• Jenna Jameson done got her face fucked screwy. (Egotastic)

• Charlize Theron ponies up some major cleavage for the movie Hancock. And now you will put your han on your cock. (Daily Stab)

• Hayden Panettiere wears shorts so short, they may as well be panties. Pantierres? Pantyerres? (Drunken Stepfather)

• Amy Winehouse finally says "Sure, sure, sure" to rehab. Sellout. (Hollywood Grind)

• Scary Spice's new husband killed a duck with a brick. Really. That's not an obtuse metaphor. Scary Spice's new husband killed a duck with a brick. (The Blemish)

• Posh Spice's blog is SO MAJOR! (Allie Is Wired)

• Hey, Diane Kruger, that water looks awful cold. (Taxi Driver)

• Angelina Jolie's getting an itchy adoption finger again. Watch out, Africa, she's comin' to gitcha. (Celeb Warship)

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July 31, 2007

ScarJo No Porno

scarlett johansson washed out.jpg Many many moons and about 8000 Hostess fruit pies ago we told you about the possibility of Scarlett Johansson strapping on some fake funbags and lubing up her pubis to play the part of Jenna Jameson. Well, sorry boys, you're gonna have to tuck those boners back into manginas, cause it ain't happening. People explains:
Despite circulating reports and Jenna Jameson's hopes that the actress is just the right mix of sexy and mysterious, Scarlett Johansson will not portray the porn star in the film adaptation of her autobiography.

"Scarlett has never seen a script nor been approached about this project," says a rep for the actress. "She also has no interest in playing this role."

Speaking with PEOPLE at the Comic Con convention in San Diego this weekend, Jameson, 33, said she was smitten with the 22-year-old Johansson after seeing her Golden Globe-nominated turn in the 2003 film Lost in Translation.

"I remember thinking to myself, this girl has such a sexuality without even really trying to be sexy," Jameson said. "I was like, 'This girl could play me.' "

Though she has met Johansson only briefly, Jameson said the encounter left quite an impression. "I love her," Jameson said. "She's amazing. She's smart, she's funny. ... She's stunning."

Casting is crucial, said Jameson, emphasizing that the film needs more than just a pretty face. "I don't want someone who's going to go in there and be like bouncing around," she said. "I want someone who can bring some depth."

It remains to be seen just how risquι the film will be. Asked if it will be explicit, Jameson replied, "It has to be. Not because we want to draw male fans. Because I want to tell the true story."
Dreams dead, hope shattered, life ended, etc. We know you held the Scarj-as-Jenna fantasy in your heart right below the one in which a fully bosomed and minimally coked Lindsay stars in the porn parody Her V: Fully Loaded, so we're sure you're going to cry yourself to sleep tonight. As usual.
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March 30, 2007

Jenna Jameson Heeds Archie Bell and the Drells; Does the Tighten Up

jennaused.jpgIn the wake of the controversy surrounding Jenna Jameson's alarming recent weight loss and her subsequent anorexia denials comes yet another body-altering tale. It seems that a few inches off the hips ain't the only meat Jenna's shaved off her body recently. TMZ reports:
A source tells Rush and Malloy that Jameson's had a little work done "down there" and that is hasn't turned out so well. "She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy. She has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody," says the source. A rep says that he doesn't know anything about any surgery.
"Turned out". "Hole up". Nice one, source. more »
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March 20, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "Why Don't You Fuck Your Whole Movie?"

8big_jan.jpg• Lily Tomlin thinks David O. Russell is a "motherfucker". David O. Russell thinks Lily Tomlin is a "cunt" and a "bitch". They Hate Huckabees! Two awesomely NSFW clips here. If you only watch one video of a comedienne and an overrated director trading cruel barbs and throwing set dressing around this year, make it this one.

• YO, Samantuh! Ay oh, oh ay, you're showin' some cleave!

• Vince Vaughn: now 87% more bloated and stinky and crazy!

• Shanna and Travis. Reuinted and it feels so good. Together again, naturally. Baby, just one more try. And so forth and so on.

• Tara Reid eschews bra, trots out those Frankenteats yet again.

• Leonardo DiCaprio held peace talks with Israel's Vice Premier. Because if anyone can stop the fighting with Palestine, it's the homeless kid from Growing Pains.

• Paris and Jenna Jameson compare Fraggle weaves; vaginal chancres.

• We once made fun of Rose McGowan's strange new face. As it turns out, she almost lost her eye in an accident. Yarrr!

• The secret diaries of Anna Nicole are up for auction. "Deer diery. today i waked up and i eated some pasghetti. then i layd down on my can a pee bed and take a nap. then it was time for diner then i had sex with some gies. xoxox"

• Heigl kinda sounds like heinie.

• Salma Hayek sports the Ugly Betty/Love Story hybrid maternity look.

• The Dunst just Razorlights up a room, doesn't she?
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February 27, 2007

Jenna Jameson: Curiouser and Curiouser

jj1.jpgYou'd think the market on tire-mouthed, balloon-bejugged, basketball-skinned folk had long been cornered by Amanda Lepore. Apparently, Jenna Jameson feels differently. more »
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January 24, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "A Skanky, Backdoor C*nt"

jencox.jpg• OMG, Jenny Aniston is gonna go on Courteney Cox's show and they're gonna KISS!!! The girl-girl spit swap is the surefire ratings booster of our generation, finally overtaking the "let's introduce a precocious child character" move. Basically, yes, we're likening Jennifer Aniston to Cousin Oliver.

• Naomi Campbell pooh-poohs claims that she's involved with witchcraft. But her involvement with bitchcraft? Guilty as charged.

• Paris Hilton exits a courthouse in a chaste polo dress . . . and although she couldn't resist giving us a little upskirt action, even the panties were innocent white cotton. Way to dress for success.

• Tom Cruise continues his sartorial transformation of Katie Holmes from "fresh-faced ingenue" to "72-year-old Nan Kempner at the Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center Fundraising Gala". Also, her nose looks suspiciously Nicole-esque, suddenly.

• Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton relieving losers of their virginity. Best reality show idea ever? Let's call it Skanky and the Geek.

• Cameron Diaz gets her post-Timberlakian groove back via a particularly flattering bikini. Feel the magic.

• Johnny Depp's babymama Vanessa Paradis: man, that's some kinda smile.

• Rachael Ray, always three steps behind the trends, attempts to ride Mel Gibson's/Kramer's coattails to racist remark fame and fortune; thinks Angelina Jolie is a "skanky, backdoor cunt". That's evil . . . or is it EVOO?

• Screw the haters, we still approve of luminescent Mandy Moore and nice Jewish boy DJ AM, especially when they are sucking face.
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January 15, 2007

Scarlett Johansson: Porn Star?

jenna jameson boob sparkle.jpg Are you tired of roles that treat you strictly as a pretty face and a nice rack without giving you anything to actually do, Scarlett Johansson? Jenna Jameson might have the answer for you: Play a porn star. Your pretty face and buoyant jubblies will still get plenty of attention, but it's your sundry holes that will see all the action. more »
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August 09, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: A Feast Fit for a Bosworth

• Suri No Middle Name Cruise pictures might finally appear soon . . . in Vanity Fair! Hopefully on the cover, wrapped in swaddling clothes, using Scarlett Johansson's ass crack as a manger.

• Bryce Dallas Howard is baking up a big batch of baby.

• Kate Bosworth ate! Ate cigarettes, water, and lettuce. Baby steps, people.

• Pam from The Office becomes Pam from The Duff-ass.

• When Janet Jackson wants her water cold, she wants her water cold, dammit. Also, yes, she did feel that pea placed under her 12 mattresses last night.

• Newly-separated Dave Navarro is dating newly-separated Jenna Jameson. And she's now #1 on his MySpace Top 8, so you know it's love.

• Jen and Vince: engaged! Whhheeeeeeee! Yayyyyy! Whoooo! Who gives a crap! All riiiiight!

• Robin Williams is in rehab. Body hair rehab, we hope.

• Sienna Miller dons dirty pink cowboy boots, a wedding dress, a red Cleopatra wig, and an exposed upskirt cotton panty look. Indeed, she is truly the fashion icon of our time.
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February 02, 2006

Jenna on Jenny. Literally.

We say "Jenna Jameson having sex" and you spring to attention. We say "Jenny McCarthy having sex" and you say, "Jolly good, CelebNewsWire, I am listening! Do go on!" We say "Jenna Jameson and Jenny McCarthy having sexy, sexual sex with each other" and you spontaneously burst into flames. more »
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January 12, 2006

CNW Junk Drawer: "Scarlett Is a Cunt"

• Macauley Culkin and That '70s Show's Mila Kunis have been shopping for engagement rings and getti