filed under: Howard Stern

• Kirsten Dunst is all, "Like, if the whole world smoked weed, man . . . there would be no wars and crime and stuff. You knowwww?" Oh man. Totally, dude. Seeeriously. (Yeeeah!)

• Selma Blair's boyfriend is rumored to be shopping for rings in preparation for popping the question. Which is better than swabbing your anal ring in preparation for pooping. OR IS IT???? (IMDb)

• Rachel McAdams and that Notebook guy are also going to get hitched. Mazel tov. (D Listed)

• Halle Berry bare-ys her berries (kinda) in Esquire. (Egotastic!)

• Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: reunited? And it feels so . . . eeeuuughhhh. (Cityrag)

• Jordan gets her fetus pierced! (Faded Youth)

• FHM goes heaving on the smoothing tool in Photoshop, makes Kim Stewart look slightly less embarrassing. Young Turks be free tonight indeed! Wait, what does that mean. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Howard Stern (not K.) luxuriates in the warm, comforting, leathery glow of Don Imus's verbal gaffe. (Radar)

• Brad and Angelina allegedly purchase $140 million yacht made of marble and gold, because they are Liberace. (PopSugar)

• Par-ass Hilton. (Taxi Driver)

• Snoop Dogg is facing up to four years in prison. Comeback album entitled From the Dogghouse to the Big House . . . and Back Again dropping in 2011. (Celebitchy)

• Jessica Alba busts out her pantaloons to assuage our Dane Cook-assaulted eyes. (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)

Joe Francis, possessor of a literal stiff upper lip and impetus for girls going wild, called into Howard Stern yesterday morning to discuss the lawsuit he and Paris are filing against ParisExposed.com. Although Joe's aim was simply to talk about the legal aspects, he ended up dishing on assorted famous ladies--the Lohan, Tara Reid, Kim Stewart--that he's used as a penis snood through the years. And then he showed Howard his moobs and rode the Sybian. more »

When Wilmer Valderrama went on Howard Stern and rated all the famous trim he'd had the pleasure of Fezzing over the years, everybody rolled their eyes. Just another sad little tiny-crotched rooster fluffing up his feathers and waggling his sad little comb. After all, playing a lisping foreign dude on a dead-horse FOX show, doing a guest spot on Grounded for Life, and providing voice talent for Clifford's Really Big Movie is hardly the stuff of legend. But when that handsome John Stamos followed suit, we had to give the ol' thumbs up and appreciate the new trend of celebrity boff bragging for what it is: the closest any of us will ever come to sleeping with the likes of Rebecca Romijn. more »

Just three days ago we told you about Carmen Electra riding Howard Stern's super fantastic magic orgasm machine (and, no, that is not a pet name for his penis) and losing a lucrative cosmetics deal because of it. Well, now there's video of the incident. Head over to Egotastic! and check it out. Just make sure not to think about Dave Navarro while watching Carmen get her lady parts tickled. That'll totally harsh your boner. more »

First Kate Moss got fired from several lucrative ad gigs after getting caught doing the naughty salt, now Carmen Electra's contract with Max Factor is in jeopardy after she mounted a Sybian machine on Howard Stern's radio show. So if you're a model representing makeup, you can't blow coke or rub your genitals on a piece of hardware intimately acquainted with Jenna Jameson? Cosmetic companies are fascists. more »

Our morning began with a veritable Wilmer Valderrama-rama of sexy proportions. Like most men who are insecure, Wilmer feels the need to brag about his sexual conquests and to measure his weiner obsessively, then crow about it like he's the second coming of Tommy Lee. But unlike most men, he spilled the pervy beans on satellite radio.

Full ratings and terse summaries of Fez's past stable of famous schtup puppets after the cut. more »

We say "Jenna Jameson having sex" and you spring to attention. We say "Jenny McCarthy having sex" and you say, "Jolly good, CelebNewsWire, I am listening! Do go on!" We say "Jenna Jameson and Jenny McCarthy having sexy, sexual sex with each other" and you spontaneously burst into flames. more »

• Posh Spice teaches us how to dress for seduction. Is the secret tan-in-a-can, fake lips like a couple of BMX tires, and robohooters? Because we're one step ahead of you, Posh.

• Posh is also planning on writing a children's book. Just as soon as she learns how to write.

• There are never enough headlines that include the words "Kate Beckinsale" and "ass".

• Wow. Sienna Miller's doing a really, really, really, really bad job of channeling Edie Sedgwick. Really bad.

• Eva Longoria and Jamie Foxx, also known as the two most irritatingly overrated stars in the cosmos, might have hooked up. Good. Maybe they'll fall in love and go live in the bottom of the sea somewhere.

• Drew Barrymore and her huge snoobs are awesome. Don't hate. Congratulate.

• Brad and Angelina's golden fetus says, "Does this ultrasound make me look fat?"

• You know it's a slow gossip day when this is the headline of the day.

• William Shatner's nugget of crystallized urine builds houses for the underprivileged. Yeah, you heard us.

• Howard Stern admits to having a little plastic surgery. We thought his tits were looking particularly fabulous lately.