CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: Hayden Panettiere

September 11, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Heroes Hottie Hayden Hoists Hoots

hayden_boobs_panettiere_touch.jpg• Tiny smurfling Hayden Panettiere hoists her wee hooters aloft. (Drunken Stepfather)

• L.A. dudes in bands, hold on to your wieners--Mischa Barton is now single. (Digital Spy)

• Samantha Ronson announces that Lohan's boobs will become Mrs. and Mrs. Ronson soon. (The Blemish)

• Mr. Skin kicks off the Top 50 Sexiest TV Shows list! Will Mama's Family make the cut? (Mr. Skin)

• Rachael Leigh Cook ("'memba her?" - TMZ) still looks adorable, especially in her bikini. (Fatback)

• Garbage girl Shirley Manson is a urinal. You heard us. (Cityrag)

• Naomi Campbell plans to have babies. Great. Ever notice how a rattle is the exact length and weight of a Blackberry? (Derek Hail)

• Everybody wants Tina Fey or Megan Mullally to do a Sarah Palin impression. But Gina Gershon's got it covered, bikini and all. (Yeeeah!)

• Josh Hartnett is the only man alive who plans on suing someone for saying he had hot sex in a library. Dork. (IDLYITW)

• Anne Hathaway's scuzzo ex got sentenced to five years in the big house. And we just got sentenced to 10 minutes of masturbating to Anne naked in Havoc. Everyone wins! (CelebWarship)

• And he shall be forever called Fishdick. (Holy Taco)

• Kanye Wested got arrested. (Bitten and Bound)

• VH1 is working on a new dating show starring Antonio Sabato Jr. You know who's going to be really excited about this? My sister, in 1991. (Seriously OMG WTF)

• Look! We made a list of the "Top 100 Hilarious and Addictive Celebrity Blogs". See, we're not as bad as everyone says. (The Love Coach)

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September 03, 2008

Hayden Panettiere Redefines "Cock-Blocking"*

hayden_panettiere_block.jpgSiblings of Britney Spears and daughters of vice presidential candidates take note: Hayden Panettiere endorses barrier methods of birth control.


* Alternative TMZ-esque title: What's She Hayden Under There?
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August 26, 2008

Hayden Panettiere Wears Party Hat. Hayden Panettiere Slips Party Hat.

hayden_panettiere_nude_1.jpgThree apples high actress Hayden Panettiere has finally embraced her status as the teeniest, tiniest pygmy in Hollywood and was snapped sporting a gnome hat with her Studio 54 bikini at a pool a few days back. It was Hayden's birthday, and she celebrated the big 1-9 in the traditional fashion: constantly texting on a Blackberry while wearing sparkly novelty items before retiring to the pool to rub a naked boob upon a labrador retriever. Go forth to the cut! See boob meet pooch! more »
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August 11, 2008

Hayden Panettiere's Parents Get Punchy

hayden_panettiere_butt.jpgHayden Panettiere's daddy allegedly hit her mommy early this morning after the family attended a benefit for the Whaleman Foundation. Is that a foundation for a half man, half whale hybrid? Because that would be cool. Cooler than a landshark. Sorry, we're really grasping at straws to make light of a rather morbid situation here. Reports The Daily Stab:
Hayden’s dad Alan Panettiere was arrested on suspicion of spousal assault, police confirmed to ET.

Alan Panettiere, 49, was taken into custody at around 3:00 a.m. in West Hollywood, according to a police booking report, which lists a bail amount of $50,000.

TMZ says Alan was upset because Lesley was “hanging” with someone at the event and he felt she was “disrespecting” him.

According to Lesley’s (Hayden’s mom) statement to Sheriffs, the couple went home, began arguing and he struck her in the cheek. Cops took pictures and there are visible marks.

Paramedics advised her she should go to the hospital but she refused. Alan did not give a statement to the police. It’s unclear if any of their kids were at the house at the time of the incident.
We thought maybe something was up when the 18-year-old Hayden started dating her 30-year-old costar Milo Ventimiglia. It was an act that smelled fishy. Literally fishy, like bacterial vaginosis mixed with self-tanner. AKA the stink of Lohan circa 2006! And now we know. Like Lohan, Hayden's parents are goofy. Parental abuse, daddy issues . . . this can only mean one thing, friends. A bright future in pornographic films. Or a few years of intensive therapy after which Hayden emerges a stronger and wiser person and goes on to win many Oscars and becomes a beloved humanitarian. It's hard to say which of those possible outcomes is sexier though. more »
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July 17, 2008

Hayden Panettiere Sings Song; Wears Shoes

hayden_panettiere_candies_1.jpgThree apples high actress Hayden Panettiere is following in the footsteps of Jenny McCarthy today and posing for a series of ads for Candie's--the shoes that complement Charlie! perfume and your "I Can't Believe I Ate the WHOLE Thing" tee. Unlike Jenny, Hayden didn't pose on the crapper, though Candies does continue its trend of having cute blondes do unattractive stuff in hope that it will impel you to buy their shoes. In addition to the "teen pregnancy" (it's hot!) shot at top left, Hayden's also doing the Jessica Simpson fly-catching pose, but fear not--there's also "mounting a mic stand" and "j/o with a microphone" to balance it all out.

Furthermore, Hayden did a cover of Paris Hilton's classic "Stars are Blind" and shot a video for it. So it's not a cover, sure, but it sounds just like it. The best part of the video is when Hayden puts on a blunt black wig and morphs into Tina Yothers!

more »
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June 06, 2008

Hayden Panettiere Once Had a Gay Old Time

haydenpanettierebite.jpgFor some reason, it's not enough that the girl is nubile and freshly eighteen and dons a skimpy cheerleading outfit on the TV every week--fans have to make bite-sized Heroes star Hayden Panettiere even more appealing to perverts than she already is. Lesbian rumors have followed the wee actress for a while, and apparently, she enjoys the controversy. Courts it, even. Hayden recently told Glamour UK:
"It's great to be single. It's great to have boyfriends. Or girlfriends. There are occasions when you kiss your best friend growing up, having fun and goofing about. Like perfecting your technique."
What you're picturing: Hayden Panettiere and equally adorable BFF, sitting on a bedroom floor in glittery half-tops and booty shorts, slowly leaning in to tangle tongues, breaking only to giggle softly and say, "Mmmmm! Yummy!"

What she means in reality: Hayden Panettiere and friend wearing Clarissa Explains It All nightgowns, taking a break from deciding which member of 98 Degrees they were going to marry to remove headgear and awkwardly mash cystic acne-riddled faces together. more »
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April 11, 2008

Ms. Pammy Goes To Washington

pam anderson fondles her boobs.jpg Sometimes celebrities and politics mix just fine. Ben Affleck seems to have a genuine interest and know just a little bit more than Barack Obama's favorite color. Sonny Bono did a fine job as far as we can tell. But sometimes it's best for celebs to stick to things like slapping their name on a new brand of perfume or not-so-discreetly leaking nude photos of themselves to the press. Because if we were a foreign dignitary and we popped into the White House for a frank chat on foreign policy and we saw a red carpet outside with Pam Anderson, Perez Hilton, and some chick from Laguna Hills or whichever, we'd probably hightail back to our home country and promptly ready an A-bomb. Us Weekly reports:
The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Pamela Anderson are among the celebs on the list to attend the White House Press Correspondents Association Dinner on April 26, Usmagazine.com has confirmed.

Like Conrad, blogger (and enemy) Perez Hilton, another attendee, will be a guest of the Bloomberg financial network.

They could hobnob with Ben Affleck, Eric Dane, Tim Daly, Hayden Panettiere and Marcia Cross — all of whom are also on the list, a Correspondents rep tells Us.

Started in 1920, the WHCA's annual dinner has become a Washington, D.C. tradition and is usually attended by the President and Vice President.
We wonder if Pam and Lauren will get to really tough questions at the event, like, "When will this horrible war in Iran end?" and "On a scale of one to ten, how dreamy is Barack Obama?" more »
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April 04, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Eatin' Kids, Beatin' Pigs

hayden_child.jpg• Bite-sized Heroes star Hayden Panettiere volunteered at World Children's Day, where she proceeded to devour all the babies under age two and pick her teeth with their discarded, semi-gnawed rib bones. (The Blemish)

• Even when you take away her hand-held communication devices and remove her from the vicinity of assistants, Naomi Campbell will come out swinging and hissing and--yes--spitting. (Yeeeah!)

• Brandon Davis, alias "Greasy Bear", aka "Fat Elvis", is no longer anti-Firecrotch. He's decided he hates black people and gays way more. (TMZ)

• Angelina Jolie at a nubile sixteen! Before the blood, the Brad, the Billy Bob, the babies there was . . . really unflattering 1990s bathing suits with curious sheer cut-outs? (Egotastic)

• Mena Suvari's crapper is delectable in a thong. Do we mean "butt" or "toilet"? Click here to find out the shocking answer! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Anne Hathaway's boyfriend was arrested for bouncing a $250,000 check. Aw, that could happen to anyone. Oh, wait, we though that said "$2.50 check". (Celeb Warship)

• Who wears assless shorts? Gisele Bundchen wears assless shorts. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• I got fingered by Megan Fox (and it felt like a kiss). (Hollywood Tuna)

• Lucky Kristen Bell gets to pose on the cover of Cosmopolitan next to the blurb "When Your Boobs Act Weird". (Daily Stab)

• Jerry Seinfeld flipped his car. He's OK though, so we can all have a hearty guffaw or whatever. (Holy Taco)

• Cameron Diaz is looking very Amazonian in GQ. (Bitten and Bound)

• Tom Cruise takes Suri to the playground. Not to play, though. To have a series discussion about SPs and OC Clears. (A Socialite's Life)

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March 05, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Sweet Leaf

jenna_jameson_surgery.jpg• Jenna Jameson, looking Bratz-ier than ever. (F-listed)

• No, my first name ain't baby. It's Janet. Miss Rackson if you're see-through. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Lindsay Lohan goes back to red, lays off the burnt umber fake bake, approaches former Mean Girls-era loveliness. (Allie Is Wired)

• Keanu Reeves and Parker Posey. Two great stoners that stone great together. (Lainey Gossip)

• Perhaps they should head over to the radio station to tear into a box of Scooby Snacks with Ashlee Simpson. (Yeeeah!)

• Mental wounds not healing. Life's a bitter shame. Julia Roberts is going off the rails on a crazy train.(Cityrag)

• Hayden Panettiere's mom is "very proud" that her teenage daughter is moving in with 31-year-old Milo Ventimiglia. Awwww. (FemaleFirst)

• Cruz Beckham, spawn of David and Posh Spice, is a SUPERSTAR. (Bitten and Bound)

• Kevin Federline's gut threatens to Popozao out of his golf shirt. (Hollywood Backwash)

• To Paris Hilton, "foreign-looking man with long gray beard" = the path to spiritual enlightenment. (Hollywood Grind)
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January 09, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Ambrosio of the Gods

alessandra-ambrosio-bikini-1-06.jpg • Model Alessanda Ambrosio is out Victoria's Secret undies. Yayyy! And into a bikini. Boooo. No, wait. Yay. (Egotastic!)

• "I'm Fat Shady, yes I'm the Fat Shady, all you other Fat Shadys are just imatatin'." (Cityrag)

• We can't improve on this original headline: 1 Hayden, 2 Cups. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Penelope Cruz and very attractive sister wear clothes, look pretty, have picture taken. (Daily Stab)

• Due to the writers' strike, the Golden Globes will be much less golden; globular. (Yeeeah!)

• Blake Lively's schnozz: from Sevigny to sliced. (Radar Online)

• Mariah Carey actually would rather be onstage with J. Lo than a pig after all. Good to know. (Celebitchy)

• Britney's car was impounded. There was no way for her to avoid bein' grounded. Her parents had to come up from vacation and get me, I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me. So tell you all the kids all across the land, there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand. Dee doo doo doo. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Bono completes the final phase of his slow transformation into Robin Williams. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Not even MC Skat Kat can save Paula Abdul from crazy's grasp now. (The Blemish)

• Britney dresses her offspring as golf caddies. Or, possibly, Andre 3000. (Allie Is Wired)

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January 07, 2008

Milo Ventimiglia Starting His Mid-life Crisis Very Early

hayden panettiere and milo ventimiglia holding hands.jpg People are freaking about thirty-year-old Milo Ventimiglia possibly dipping his wick into eighteen-year-old Hayden Panettiere, but we just don't get the outrage. It's not like she's Anna Nicole Smith here. And she probably doesn't call him Uncle Peter when they're making out. Plus, she used to be friends with Paris Hilton, who probably passed along some very helpful hints on how to hide facial deformities when being photographed. So we assume that Hayden and Milo were on set one day talking about photo ops when Hayden helpfully took Milo's head in her hands and tilted it just so, saying, "This is how Paris Hilton always positions her face to hide her wonky eye. I bet it will do wonders to disguise your stroke mouth." Who wouldn't instantly fall in love?

Check out the entire barely legal photo suite at TMZ.
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December 12, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Dog Crap Is the Greatest Aphrodesiac

pam_rick_dog_crap.jpg• Pam Anderson and hubby to have reality show. Also, Pam Anderson and hubby to engage in possible oral sex next to pooping dog. (Dlisted)

• Hayden Panettiere is gearing up to give a BJ to Richard Gere or something. (HollywoodTuna)

• Madonna is sporting a nice pair of shiners. (Cityrag)

• Furthermore, she's allegedly fattening herself up on a diet of "porridge". Porridge is a real thing, existing outside The Three Bears? Is she also eating curds and whey, and a pie with Little Jack Horner's thumb in it? (PopCrunch)

• Crack open an ice cold can of Paris Hilton champagne. All the bubbliness of the real thing and none of the clap! (Yeeeah!)

• It's hard out here for a pimp Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. (CelebWarship)

• Tara Reid stuffs her plasticine yambags into a bikini for your viewing pleasure and/or reverse peristalsis. (Drunken Stepfather)

• James Blunt hits Swiss ski resort, sings "you're beautiful! You're beautiful! You're beautiful, so let me bust open your hymen, it's true!" to chalet girls. (Celebitchy)

• Vanessa Hudgens not amused by Zac Efron's oxygen facials and mani-pedi time. (Allie Is Wired)

• Wow, what's Jordan doing with Jay Manuel? (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

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December 05, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: The People vs. Teri's Piehole

terieww.jpg• Teri Hatcher is being sued over lip gloss. The American justice system: serious business. (CelebTV)

• Heather Mills (McCartney) shows off her strawberry fields, forever. Do you wanna hold her glands? You might have a hard day's night, though she appears to be giving everyone a ticket to ride, so let's all come together, etc. etc. and so forth. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Cindy Crawford has cellulite. Whatever, like you wouldn't still masturbate with her discarded Kleenex. (Egotastic!)

• Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty are making beautiful drugs together. No, wait, we mean beautiful drugs. Shit, not drugs, drugs. Ack! Beautiful music, is what we mean. Wait, no. No, we did mean drugs. (Yeeeah!)

• Paris Hilton gets new lips; looks even more like Alice the Goon. (Derek Hail)

• Megan Fox does the old Uncle Joey "cut! it! out!" (Cityrag)

• John Maya is a str8 playa. (Daily Stab)

• Scarjo did not chop up her nose, and if you say so, she will sue your ass. (Celebitchy)

• Hayden Panettiere dons the 1989 soccer shorts; shows us her pegs. Make some sort of "score" or "goal" joke here, please. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Porn star Mary Carey is auctioning off her recently removed breast implants. A "portion" of the proceeds will go to the Susan G. Komen breast cancer foundation. The rest of the proceeds will go towards abusive puppy mills, toddler sweatshops, and terrorism. (The Blemish)

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November 21, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "I Just Crave Nicotine Sometimes"

hayden-panettiere-bikini-mens-vogue.jpg• Hayden Panettiere continues to blaze a flouncy, lace-trimmed trail straight to Saucytown. (Egotastic!)

• Amy Winehouse celebrates Christmas early by hanging sparkling white ornaments amongst the branches of her nose hair. (Yeeeah!)

• Hey, look! It's Beyonkadonkcι. (Derek Hail)

• Vanessa Minnillo's bikini bottoms are intelligent, as they wisely creep up her cheek cleave and allow us to rejoice. Huzzah! (Drunken Stepfather)

• When Perry Met Sally. (Celebitchy)

• Dennis Quaid's newborn twins get a leg up on all the other celebrity babies by ODing. That was mean, sorry. (The Blemish)

• Headline of the day: "Nicole Richie's Pooch Pee Plea". (Female First)

• British model/reality star Sophie Anderton will charge you $20K to allow you to snort cocaine off her bewbs and then make the love with her. (Fatback and Collards)

• Ashlee Simpson has secrets. Smoky, smoky secrets. (Allie Is Wired)

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November 20, 2007

Hayden's Panettieres: Again, For the Very First Time

haydenpanettierebite.jpgAw! Baby's First Upskirt is a pivotal point in every young starlet's life, but that first flash of Hayden Panettiere's biz was a little half-assed (half-crotched?), so thankfully, the three-apples-high Heroes star went to the Victoria's Secret fashion show and gave us another picture to tenderly paste next to the first in her scrapbook.




hayden_panettiere_upskirt_b.jpg1119_hayden_victorias_secret_02.jpg
It's a lot like her first steps. On the maiden voyage on a person's two legs, there is plenty of stumbling, falling, and tripping. It's a graceless sight, but the second try is a little smoother and more self-assured. The same goes for the birth of the panty shot--Hayden's original upskirt was a touch gawky, a little unskilled; unsure. This second one is much smoother. Note the addition of flesh-toned underdrawers. Very mature. Our little girl is growing up so fast! The next thing you know, she'll be face down in the Hyde bathroom next to Ali Lohan, her skirt hiked above her buns, stubbly chunt pointed at the paparazzi's waiting lens. We feel like a proud parent sending their child off to first grade, only instead of a Dora the Explorer lunch box, she's just swinging around her box.
more »
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October 31, 2007

Hayden Panettiere Spares Our Rod and Saves the Whales

Hayden_Panettiere_Bikini_1.jpgA real Am-er-i-can her-ooooo! Fighting Cobra and Des-trooooo! No, not G.I. Joe. Hayden Panettiere. She's the real hero here. Sure, she fought neither Cobra nor Destro, but she did, in fact, go to Japan to save some whales. Egotastic! quotes:
Hayden Panettiere, star of TVs hit series Heroes, paddled out on behalf of Save The Whales Again! www.savethewhalesagain.com. She expressed that she felt the spirit of the dolphins who had been driven into the killing cove over the last 400 years.

We had a moment of silence for all the dolphins that had been killed here, said Panettiere, who uses her celebrity to protect dolphins and whales. It was highly emotional. I wished for peace and for no more pain at this beautiful yet tragic cove.

The Taiji fishermen, who defend the kills as part of their traditional fishing culture, had planned to stop the ceremony through force and police arrest. The possibility of a locally led resistance was averted by a dramatic last-minute turnaround. Rastovich was able to broker a meeting with area locals less than 12 hours before the paddle-out crew arrived unannounced at the killing cove.
This ceremony does indeed look solemn and highly emotional. The serious cup of frappumochohohochachachino, the titty flash, the look of Hayden's tight, barely legal figure stuffed into the world's smallest bikini. It has made us feel the plight of these majestic, doomed fish deep within our loins. Er-loins. We meant to say loins. No! Shit! We meant to say crotches. Augh! Souls! Souls. Deep within our loi--souls.
hayden-panettiere-bikini-2.jpg hayden-panettiere-bikini-3.jpg
more »
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October 24, 2007

Face Down, Butt Up, That's the Way Hayden Likes to . . . Get Her Camera Fixed

hayden_p_bend_over_1.jpgWe're grateful to three-apples-high Hayden Panettiere for starting new trends in celebrity ogling. No longer are we shackled to pawing our weenises to just images of tall, willowy, tropically-tanned hardbodies in "Your boyfriend was good last night" glitter baby tees. We are now free to explore our maturing bodies while admiring a fresh-faced, wee little sprite who bafflingly does not sport coke rings around her nostrils or any visible social diseases. Hayden is so spunky that she even makes something salacious like bending over, ass up, in micro-shorts look positively cherubic. Were Paris to strike the same pose, we'd get a view of labes and, possibly, a chancre or two. With Hayden, a leprechaun would look right at home perched atop her can, winking. She probably farts bluebirds!

hayden_p_bend_over_2.jpg hayden_p_bend_over_3.jpg
more »
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October 05, 2007

Hayden Panettiere Is an Upskirt Hero

hayden-panettiere-panty-upskirt.jpgIt was only a matter of time until something like this befell the nubile youth called Hayden Panettiere. Hands and purses make for fine labial blockage, but hands and purses cannot be everywhere all the time. There comes a day in every panty-covered crotch's life when it must shed the protective covering shielding it from the flashbulbs of the Pavarotti and emerge a beautiful butterfly from the warm and safe cocoon of modesty. Fly away, little vaginal butterfly! Spread your cotton-clad wings and fly, fly! more »
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September 26, 2007

Hayden Blocks Her Panettieres

hayden_p_upskirt_1.jpgWith a last name like Panettiere, you'd think that Hayden would show some damn Panettieres once in a while. But no, the wee sprite of Heroes fame has consistently employed her hand as a poon guarder over the past week, crushing perverts' dreams to a sad, vagina-free dust.

hayden_p_upskirt_2.jpg hayden_exit_car_1.jpg hayden_exit_car_2.jpg
Right now, Britney Spears is studying these pictures from all angles, turning them around and around and screwing up her face with forced concentration. "How did she hide her cooter, y'all?" Britney murmurs, her voice hushed with awe. "Hand . . . over . . . peebug? Purse? I don't get it." And she scratches her head like a quizzical monkey and sighs.
more »
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September 20, 2007

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia Create Impossibly Multisyllabic Celeb Couple Name

hayden_milo.jpgHeroes star Hayden Panettiere might be only three apples high, but she will kill you. KILL YOU. TV Guide gives jeers, reporting that the wee sprite got a little angry on the red carpet at the Emmys:
Hayden Panettiere threatened to “kill” a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter’s skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, “Not on the red carpet.” It was a classic Hollywood moment — and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week’s end.
Another thing streaming all over the internet: urine! No, just kidding. Maybe. But it has been widely speculated that Hayden has been hooking up with much-older Heroes costar, the stroke-mouthed Milo Ventimiglia, although their respective reps assert that they're "just friends". However, at a post-Emmys party in L.A. on Sunday, they were caught whispering, grinding, dancing, and nuzzling like a couple of damn horses:
She's 18. He's 30. Aside from their jobs, what could these two possibly have in common? What do you think they're talking about here? Milo's probably whispering, "This song is so awesome. Duran Duran was the first cassingle I ever bought." And Hayden's saying, "Cassingle? What's a Duran Duran? The first CD I bought was Christina Aguilera when I was in middle school four years ago. Iphone Misshapes Louis Vuitton MySpace!!!!!" more »
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August 21, 2007

Happy 18th Birthday, Hayden Panettiere

Hayden Panettiere short shorts.jpg And happy guilt-free Tuesday, perverts. Time to start scoping out the Disney channel for your next "countdown to legality" mark.
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August 14, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "You Liars. You Bulimic Liars.”

courtney_love_bazaar.jpg• Everyone in the world has an eating disorder except for Courtney Love. Or is that Janice from the Muppets, naked? (Celebitchy)

• Jessica Alba plays blind. Blind and nipply. (Yeeeah!)

• Jenna Jameson done got her face fucked screwy. (Egotastic)

• Charlize Theron ponies up some major cleavage for the movie Hancock. And now you will put your han on your cock. (Daily Stab)

• Hayden Panettiere wears shorts so short, they may as well be panties. Pantierres? Pantyerres? (Drunken Stepfather)

• Amy Winehouse finally says "Sure, sure, sure" to rehab. Sellout. (Hollywood Grind)

• Scary Spice's new husband killed a duck with a brick. Really. That's not an obtuse metaphor. Scary Spice's new husband killed a duck with a brick. (The Blemish)

• Posh Spice's blog is SO MAJOR! (Allie Is Wired)

• Hey, Diane Kruger, that water looks awful cold. (Taxi Driver)

• Angelina Jolie's getting an itchy adoption finger again. Watch out, Africa, she's comin' to gitcha. (Celeb Warship)

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August 01, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "Nasty Old Rag"

kate_pete_window.jpg• Nasty old rag Kate Moss might have to pay off ex Pete Doherty to shut him up. Ah, the perils of cracky love. (Celeb Warship)

• Paris just a hair(less) away from her 'tang-flashing halcyon days. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Nomi Malone, in a bikini, poolside. Hopefully, after these pictures were taken, she doffed those espadrilles, hopped in the pool with that guy, and recreated the Showgirls floppin'-like-beached-salmon scene. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Paris Hilton has not been cut out of the Hilton will, as we recently reported. Bah, life is so ugly and unfair. (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)

• Courtney Love gets bedazzled. (Celebrity Puke)

• Michael Lohan is such a great dad. He doesn't even know the name of Lindsay's new movie. (In Touch)

• Kirsten Dunst is too drunk for America, but too noisy for England. (A Socialite's Life)

• Hayden Panettiere picks n' licks. (Derek Hail)

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July 10, 2007

Celebrity Bikini Round-Up

Hayden_Panettiere_Bikini.jpgChrist on a cross, there are so many pictures of female celebrities in bikinis floating around today, we don't even know what to do with ourselves t