filed under: Hayden Christensen

It seems that all you need to do is mention that you haven't seen someone in a while and then they won't leave you the hell alone. We wondered about the whereabouts of Mischa Barton, and now she's on the cover of every damn magazine and she's showing up all over the place. We wonder if the same tactic would work with Emmanuel Lewis. If today we talk about how we haven't seen him in a long time, tomorrow will we see video of him being rejected from Hyde on TMZ? Anyway, back to Mischa. Remember when she was all, "I hate TV! I want to be a moooovie stahhhhh" and jaunted off to Italy to desecrate classic literature with Hayden Christensen? Yeah, that was a long time ago; it's OK if you forgot. It seems that Misch and Hay's immaculately acted version of The Decameron, Virgin Territory, may actually hit a movie screen sometime in the next decade. And it's gonna involve the erotic milking of a cow. Take a look:



more »

• Brit can visit her kids; might be headed back to rehab. In related news, Kevin Federline showed up to court wearing an eyepatch. Because he's a responsible p-arrrrrrrrrrr-ent. (GlossLip)

• George Takei now has his own asteroid. His own tight, firm, assteroid. (IMDb)

• Anakin Skywalker still throwing it into Rachel Bilson. But more importantly, does his hat say "RAPE"? (Drunken Stepfather)

• J. Lo gutwatch '07 continues. People, we have expansion. (Allie Is Wired)

• Speaking of ab-related embiggening, Eva Mendes blames hers on rotini and brownies. (Daily Stab)

• Jennifer Aniston sells magazines. At a stand on the corner of 5th and Walnut, because her career is in the john. Naw, just jerkin' your bird. (The Blemish)

• See the general area from whence Harvey, Junior, and Princess Tiaamii issued: Katie Price upskirt! (Taxi Driver)

• Angelina Jolie just the way we like her: with satin grazing her vagina. (Derek Hail)

• Hanson brother has pulmonary embolism. MMMMMclot! (TMZ)

• Fergie goes jogging while wearing her Ghostbusters costume.

• Mike Tyson joins the Lohan at Wonderland rehab facility. Now we just need Charles Nelson Reilly to check in and we've got ourselves The Surreal Life 7!

• Sienna, Factory Girl shooting is over. You're not Edie Sedgwick anymore. Take off the leotard and slowly back away.

• Brandy killed somebody with her Land Rover, now the victim's family is suing her for $50 million. Meanwhile, her brother Ray-J peed on Kim Kardashian and is throwing it into Whitney Houston. Fate is not smiling beatifically upon the Norwood family.

• Hey, friends, we entertain you every weekday, right? Give you the ole ha-has, never ask for a thing in return. So maybe you could do just this one thing for us, as a tiny little favor? Could you go here and download the amazing Paris Hilton demo song culled from ParisExposed.com? It's more retarded than "PopoZao" and "My Humps" put together. It's life-altering. Trust us. Do it. Do it. Do it.

• And speaking of Paris songs and ParisExposed, don't miss this soft, lilting tune crooned by Paris on video, and you'll finally get context for the "I got fucked in the butt for coke" line, in addition to a bunch of lovely racial verses.

• The Factory Girl sex scenes between Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen are rumored to be the real thing. Great, but that doesn't change the fact that nobody will see it.

• Dustin "Screech" Diamond was "exiled" on the set of Celebrity Fit Club because he threatened to "make a dildo of my cock and fuck [former American Idol contestant] Kimberly Locke with it." As far as empty threats go, that one's pretty elaborate.

• Headline of the day, part one.

• Headline of the day, part two, (because we're in seventh grade [it's the Jessica Lange story]).

• Gwen Stefani the second celebrity parent to be stricken with blobbish progeny.

Depending on who you talk to, Sienna Miller's Edie Sedgwick biopic Factory Girl is either an Oscar-worthy masterstroke of filmmaking destined to perch on the celluloid throne next to Citizen Kane and Casablanca, or a Safeway bag filled with dog stool. But the only thing that matters about this movie, beyond the reshoots and the costar romances and the Bob Dylan trying to halt the release, is that Sienna Miller is insanely naked in it. You can see stills here and moving pictures here. Now, we weren't alive in the silver sixties, but we're pretty sure that sex clip really captured the feel of the era. The Warhol scene was definitely all about making transcendent love with Darth Vader in front of a roaring fire and against the tender strains of a thrumming piano and not shooting up diet pills dissolved in champagne and then rutting with a stranger in the bathroom of Max's Kansas City. A real slice of life, this movie. It's like we've been transported right back into 1965! more »

• Kelly Osbourne thinks Paris Hilton inspires parents to dress their children like hookers. Would she rather the children of the world take fashion cues from her?


• Is Liz Hurley all knocked up again? Does anyone care?

• Nicky Hilton calls Mischa Barton a "fat pig". Huh. Maybe she meant "stuck pig"?

• Remember those Lisa Loeb thong shots we showed you yesterday? Of course you do. Well, now you can see those pictures move! It's called "the talkies", which translates to "motile ass".

• Jodie "Stephanie Tanner" Sweetin was a meth head, but she's since Cut! It! Out!

• Oh, speaking of thongs, flash leads to a see-through dress in Alyssa Milanoland.

• Egotastic!'s got the poop scoop on what's really going down betwixt Sienna Miller and Darth Vader. It's considerably less sexy than previously thought.

• Tyra Banks rocks the pit stubble. Fierce!!!

• Quote of the year: "If you're going to be raped in a movie, it may as well be Vincent Cassel." Oh, Jennifer Aniston, you are so terribly high-larious.

• Oh yeah, Oscar nominees.

• Tom Cruise's next potential film project will be a "contemporary romance". We have a good idea for a romantic film! Boy divorces girl, elders at boy's cult pay new girl to perpetrate like she's dating boy, boy jumps on furniture, cult elders impregnate girl with mythical animal-human hybrid, and . . . aw, never mind. Nobody would buy it.

Kate Moss? Pffft. Edie Sedgwick? Bahhh. Looks like Sienna Miller's found a new celebrity style to jock. Remember when we told you that Jessica Simpson was seen leaving Adam Levine's hotel room the morning after, looking all disheveled and postcoital? Well, "disheveled and postcoital" is the new boho! Pretty soon we'll be seeing Pavarotti pics of MK Olsen leaving the Roosevelt, eschewing her more traditional cowboy-boots-and-oversized-sweater deal for a more modern, cutting edge unbrushed-teeth-and-dried-semen ensemble. more »

So you're Sienna Miller and you're desperately trying to make yourself into the next Julia Roberts or some such. You land a sweet part as a crazy naked girl in a movie opposite People Sexiest Man Alive and manage to get him to profess his everlasting love to you. Then he fucks his nanny and everyone magically knows your name. You've discovered the joy of media attention. You make up and break up every other week just to keep your name on the tips of everyone's tongues. But then you realize that the public isn't so interested in your man candy now that he's not in every fifth movie at their megaplex (and now that they've seen his wee little pee-pee) and you take a look around you. Who's that man costarring in your latest project? And is he about to have a good year? It sure looks like it, Sienna Miller. more »

Second-rate filmmakers are usually good at getting attention for their films without resorting to things like talented actors, good writing, or spectacular special effects. The best way to do this is with nudity, hopefully of the rampant and full-frontal variety. But when your flick stars famously prudish Jessica Alba, you have to look to other avenues. Such as coaching your actors to be total douchbags in public. It might have backfired for Cinderella Man, but it's sure to garner Awake a few viewers. more »

Being a Hollywood star is sooo demanding. All most celebs want out of life is the chance to leave fame and fortune behind and just be a normal person. No more free designer clothes or glamorous parties, just honest hard work and a respectable paycheck. That's why Hayden Christensen wants to become an architect. more »

Obligatory "slipping her the old light saber" joke here, please. more »