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filed under: Evan Rachel Wood

November 24, 2008

Evan Rachel Wood Trades Vampire for Alien Boy

evan_rachel_gordon_levitt.jpg Two straight years of toggling gray-haired, droopy nuts can really wear on a girl. So after a long, lonely time filled with Marilyn Manson's toupee and absinthe, then a rumor she was doing Mickey Rourke, Evan Rachel Wood has possibly, hopefully, found a nice young man her own age: That Kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun. Hit us, IMDb!
Actress Evan Rachel Wood has sparked reports she's moved on from her romance with rocker Marilyn Manson - after she was spotted in the arms of actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Los Angeles.

The 21-year-old star and 3rd Rock From The Sun actor, 27, appeared together on 9 November at the Hamilton Behind the Camera Awards. And according to the National Enquirer, Wood has ignited a new love affair.

A source tells the tabloid, "This thing with Joseph has come out of nowhere. They've taken everyone by surprise. They were having so much fun together. They were dancing wildly, drinking and flirting. Joseph's a genuinely nice guy. He and Evan Rachel are very compatible and make a cute couple. After her relationship with Manson, there's no doubt in my mind her parents are relived she's finally dating someone clean-cut and closer to her age."
Awesome, let's think of a cute celebrity nickname for the two lovebirds! How about Jason Gorchel-Evseph Rachdon-Wooditt? Catchy! more »
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November 11, 2008

Evan Rachel Wood Says "No, Ew" to Mickey Rourke

mickey_rourke_evan_rachel_wood.jpgThe blood isn't even dry on the cutters' razorblades of fans mourning the untimely breakup of Gothbert Gothbert and Holita, and already the media is trying to pair off newly single Evan Rachel Wood with another. Another meaning Mickey Rourke, her costar in the upcoming movie The Wrestler. Evan, however, would like us to know that there is no truth to these rumors and issued the following statement (via Daily Stab):
“Spread the word – I’m not dating Mickey Rourke. Everybody thinks we’re dating and we’re not. Mickey and I bonded while shooting The Wrestler and we became friends, but nothing more. I guess, because of my recent break up, I will be linked to many people, but I am not interested in pursuing a relationship at this point in my life. Any such rumor should not be taken seriously.”
Normally if the press tried to connect a pretty 20-year-old with a hatchet-faced 52-year-old who once mimed squirting honey into Kim Basinger's vagine, we'd laugh and laugh, but in this case it seems perfectly plausible. When one shacks up with Marilyn Manson and it fails to piss off dad? Where does one go? We expect every boyfriend she takes from here on out to be older and more physically repellent than the last; a dating ladder of monstrosity that will not stop until she ends up marrying Shaggy 2 Dope from the Insane Clown Posse. Or Burt Reynolds. more »
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November 06, 2008

We'll Always Have the Chokesex Video

marilyn_manson_evan_rachel_4.jpgTip a little of your absinthe out on the curb and prepare to cut "RIP ERW + MM" in your leg during art class, because our very favorite celebrity couple, Gothbert Gothbert and Holita, have called it quits. Star mag gleefully reports:
Blood is obviously thicker than water for Evan Rachel Wood. She dumped live-in boyfriend Marilyn Manson on Oct. 23 after he tried to kick her brother Ira out of their guest house.

"Evan owned the house and didn't want her unemployed sibling living on the street," a source tells Star. "It was the tipping point. Evan was fed up with how controlling and emotionally abusive Marilyn was."
And right before the sacred holiday season Halloween even. That's gotta doubly smart.
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April 16, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Oh, Behave

gisele_bundchen_lace_mask.jpgGisele Bundchen may be costarring in the new Austin Powers movie. Terrific. What's next, Adriana Lima in Mighty Ducks V? (Daily Stab)

Eva Longoria and her husband want to invite Posh and Becks over for a foursome. A foursome consisting of slow and sensual games of Cootie! and Mousetrap. (Female Foist)

• Debbie Gibson got a restraining order against her stalker, who sounds like a real Electric Douche. Haw haw haw! (Celebitchy)

• "Deer dairy. today i went down and used the terlet at the Cogo's on wilshur bulevard. i plum fergoted my pantys inside! then i pixed up a parperp pupozee parparotzy man and kissed on him. rainbows r pritty!!!!!111" Britney Spears has video diaries and they may be released, woo hoo! (Hollywire)

John Mayer's body is a wonderland. A wonderland of cliche tattoos like koi fish and waves and blooming flowers. (Cityrag)

Elisha Cuthbert puts down cigarette long enough to grab her own tit in Maxim. (F-listed)

Evan Rachel Wood's transformation into boyfriend Marilyn Manson is complete. Excellent. Release the bats! (CelebWarship)

Bret Michaels says that "My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer." And all this time we thought it was Britney's castoff weaveage sewn onto a bandanna. (ONTD)

• Pictures of Pete Doherty in jail. Hair product fashioned out of leftover butter pats. (Dlisted)

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January 18, 2008

Dr. Evil Descends Upon LAX

evan_manson_airport_1.jpg"I'm terribly sorry, sir, but you're going to have to place your hairless cat in a three ounce container inside a quart size, zip-top plastic bag just like everybody else." Gothbert Gothbert and Holita brought their May-December brand of super duper spookiness through security at LAX the other day. They removed their shoes and placed their laptops in a separate bin, thereby totally freaking out all the squares! At least we think this is Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson. The girl very cleverly obscured her face with her bag, leaving the identities of the short blonde teen actress in the Dita von Teese-lite gear and the tall gothick minion of Satan in black leather and comical Kiss footwear a complete mystery!

evan_manson_airport_2.jpg evan_manson_airport_3.jpg evan_manson_airport_4.jpg

(Pics via A Socialite's Life)
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September 04, 2007

Evan Rachel Wood Travels Across the Bootyverse

marilyn-manson-evan-rachel-wood.jpgCNW favorite Evan Rachel Wood has never been naked onscreen. Well, she's never been naked onscreen not covered in blood and attached, lamprey-like, to the liver lips of spoooooky beau Marilyn Manson. Until now! In her new musical film, Across the Universe, Wood plays a teenage hippie who tells her tale though the music of the Beatles. She does all her own singing and all her own slinging . . . off . . . of clothing. Or something.

According to a spy at MrSkin.com, E.R. Dubz shows not only her keister but her left snoob during a sex scene with Jim Sturgess. Looks like it's gonna be a truly HARD Day's Night. Ooh! What a deliciously ribald play on words! more »
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August 15, 2007

Bloody Chokesex: the Pinnacle of Romance

heart-shaped-glasses.pngIt's been a while since Gothbert Gothbert and Holita have ascended from their spoooooky love-pit of super sexy cradle-robbing passion to assert their love for one another in the press. So we were delighted to read this quote from Evan Rachel Wood in the latest issue of GQ magazine, as she explains how touching it was to film screamy chokesex in a torrent of fake blood for her boyfriend's "Heart-Shaped Glasses" video.
“At the end of the video, we’re kissing and it’s raining blood – and for me, that was one of the most romantic moments of my entire life. We made it for each other … Because that’s how we were feeling at the time: Even though ugliness can be all around you – you can literally be in a thunderstorm of blood – if you look past that, it really is just two people holding on to each other. And you know, the same thing with the sex scene. If you’re going to have a sex scene, that’s what it is. When you’re with someone and you’re in love, that’s usually what happens. It’s not always soft. Sometimes it’s somebody screaming or whatever.”
Well, she's nineteen years old, it's not hard to believe that this was the most romantic moment of her life. Before this, that coveted top spot was held by the time she frenched a guy in his mom's Kia Sedona to a mix CD of Nickelback songs. Similarly, the most romantic moment of our young lives was when we humped our boyfriend Tay, not in a "literal" thunderstorm of blood but in . . . chocolate raiiiiin. more »
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July 13, 2007

Evan Rachel Wood and Manson's Love "Important" and "Real"; Still "Gross"

manson_evan.jpgCelebNewsWire's favorite subjects (next to Clay Aiken, of course), Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson, continue to assault the media with their "making out in graveyards with a Sisters of Mercy tape blasting from Mom's Cutlass Ciera" love. Evan recently responded to Manson's estranged wife Dita Von Teese's claim that the pair were having an "inappropriate relationship" while Manson was still married, and hits out on blogs like us that call her stuff like, um, Holita.
"I've seen blogs where I've been called a slut, a whore, that say I should be condemned to death simply because I've fallen in love. Surely the fact that we are both prepared to go through all this proves just how important - and real - our love is, no? Everyone is so worried that I'm losing myself but really I'm finding myself. I've never been more comfortable in my own skin."
You know who else is comfortable in Evan's skin? Marilyn Manson. After he skins her and fashions himself a woman suit from her flesh. more »
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May 15, 2007

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood Totally Did It

marievan.jpgGothbert Gothbert and Holita's "Heart Shaped Glasses" video continues to shock! And! Disgust! with its portrayal of a bird-chested middled aged doom rocker performing screechy chokesex on his barely legal thespian concubine. As it turns out, the screechy chokesex might actually be the real deal. Which means that the lovebird's private acts of love almost certainly resemble the ones depected onscreen: a bloated lamprey in Urban Decay lipstick slurping its way up a prone, alternately bored/yelping teen. Hot! more »
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May 08, 2007

Making Out on a Big Pile of Blood

evanmanson2.jpgGothbert Gothbert and Holita continue to take Dad's Atra razor and cut a wobbly pink swath of lovelorn angst across the inner wrist of America. Marilyn Manson's new video for "Heart-Shaped Glasses" is online, and you can watch and vicariously live out the couple's embarrassing "Bonnie and Clyde, baby, you and me against the world" romance from the comfort of your own computer. An uncomfortably long bout of shrieky, topless chokesex gives way to the twosome guzzling booze while speeding in a convertible ("Faster! Faster!"), licking knives, taking polaroids, driving with feet, and murmuring sweet nothings ("I love you, goddammit") before the vehicle bursts into flames as they drive off a cliff like a Hot Topic Thelma and Louise. Alternative! It's exactly like our mall-goth early adolescence, only with fewer pairs of black and white striped tights and more old men in billowy open shirts. Don't miss this rare opportunity to check out an aging pagan-rocker living out a middle age crisis on video--we're pretty sure the convertible is a Miata he dipped into his 401K to buy, and behind the bottle of absinthe on the dash there surely lurks a box of Tagamet HB.

Thanks to Lizz for the tip! more »
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April 27, 2007

Moments Before Hitting Hot Topic

mansonwood.jpgOh, hey, look who's making their love public. It's Gothbert Gothbert and Holita.
more »
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April 19, 2007

Evan Rachel Wood Just Gets Me, You Know? She Understands Me.

mansonevan.jpgIn the wake of his pending divorce from bubbly, professional naked lady Dita Von Teese, Marilyn Manson has finally opened up about his relationship with 19-years-younger actress Evan Rachel Wood. He told the newspaper Le Parisien (via Glosslip),
"I've found my double, my twin, with my new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood. She's 19 and certainly that's very young but that's not a problem for me. She likes the same things as me. She understands I like to get up when night falls and go to sleep at dawn."
Of course there would be many, many interests that would overlap when you're talking about a 19-year-old girl and a 38-year-old man. Lip Smackers gloss, watching The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll, choreographing dances to Kelly Clarkson songs with friends, texting, figuring out how to sneak a Pomtini at Ruby Tuesday, and giving your dad the finger behind the safety of your locked bedroom door. more »
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January 10, 2007

Evan Rachel Wood Becomes Marilyn Manson's Disposable Teen

evanmanson.jpgWe didn't say anything about it at the time because we didn't want to worry you, but last week we reached our gossip breaking point. It was that last Britney Spears story that did it. Faced with another morning of trying make fresh the same old Cheeto, Ugg boot, and flashed gash joke, we went clean over the edge and had to be coaxed out from under our desks, where we sat, trembling, in a homemade hat fashioned out of a Jiffy Pop packaging and muttering "can't type . . . too Toxic . . . can't type . . . too Toxic." Lucky for us, Marilyn Manson has come along and traded hot young burlesque dancer wife Dita Von Teese for hot barely-legal actress girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood and saved us from ourselves! Out with the shitty weave and in with the prosthetic goth-tits! more »
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