filed under: Emma Watson

When normal, mortal girls turn eighteen, they get a nice party, a cake, maybe a car if they come from wealth, and the right to vote. When celebrities turn eighteen, they get their first upskirt beaver shot. After the cut, freshly legal Emma Watson, the Hermione Granger to Daniel Radcliffe's Harry Potter, shows some hairy pooter.



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• Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib, married? Married? Yeah, married. Married? Yeah, married! Sheesh! (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Miley Cyrus publicly apologizes for not wearing her seat belt. No seat belt is a slippery slope that leads headlong into Crotchflashtown and San Rehabton. (IMDb)

• Emma "Hermione" Watson gets slimed by Kirsten Dunst's leftovers. (The Sun)

• Bai Ling arrested for hamburglaring some gossip rags and a pack of batteries from an airport gift shop. Maybe she wanted to power up her G-spotter to use while gazing at herself in the fashion "What Were They Thinking?" section. (Celebitchy)

• Oh, shut your tamalehole, J. Lo. Nobody wants to steal your dumb old crusty old babies. (The Blemish)

• The Madamism of Hollywood. Waylon Flowers would be delighted. (Cityrag)

• Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, that sitter of hers is A number one. (HolyTaco)

• Amy Winehouse upgrades to Blake v. 2.0: all the creepiness none of the jail. Now with Magic-Gro Hair! (The Superficial)

• Aguilera debuts her infink. (Daily Stab)

• Kristen Bell gets rung! (Don't Link This)

• Jumping on the Harry Potter fever bandwagon! Emma Watson holds up a pair of panties that state exactly what comes out of the wearer's anus. Helpful! (the Blemish)

• Nicole Richie's drunk driving trial has been postponed. D.A's office spokeswoman Jane Robison says, "The trial will not happen on Wednesday. Richie's attorney filed a motion... stating that their key witness, a drug expert, was unavailable for trial." The key witness is actually her fetus and will not be available for trial for six more months, when it will emerge from Nicole's tiny womb and state, "Ohhh yeah, THAT night. I was shit-wasted! Duuuude!" (IMDb/WENN)

• Courtney Love gets a new man, and her fourteenth new face. (ONTD)

• Beyonce Knowles, aka RoboHo, slipped some RoboHootage. (Cityrag)

• Sophia Bush in short shorts. That's right, friends. BUSH IN SHORT SHORTS. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (Egotastic!)

• Denise Richards, arguably one of the world's most desirable women, has been forced to try a dating service. Meanwhile, her ex-husband, he of the drug-taking and hooker-fucking and "I hope you fucking die, bitch"-ing, is blissfully engaged! (Socialite's Life)

• Toni Collette's nonstop portrayal of pregnant ladies has permeated her real life. (Glitterati Gossip)

• Britney is headed for another breakdown. She strips down to her bra, dances to her own music, flirts with married man, drinks like a fish, and, craziest of all, actually wears shoes into a public restroom! (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Tennis pro Venus Williams serves up some nip. Oh ho, that's rich! (Taxi Driver)

• Apparently, you can steal cars and shoot heroin and get arrested 20 times a month and yet never see the inside of a jail cell. We're totally moving to the UK. It's like Eden, or Honah-Lee. Only with more crack.

• Speaking of drugs, Teri Hatcher admits to doing a little recreational Botox. Uh, no shit?

• The year was 1984, and an unsullied, very young and fresh-faced Whitney Houston was given the old Serge Gainsbourg treatment on French television. If only she had been seduced by the wiles of a drunken, aged French lothario instead of a cracked-out faded R&B loser.

• Apparently, being used as Jackson Browne's personal punching bag wasn't enough for Daryl Hannah, and she's now romancing Brad Renfro, an admitted junkie about 43 years younger than her. Some people are just gluttons for punishment.

• A better shot of Paris's upskirt shot from the other day. You can actually see her anus devouring her underdrawers!

• Vanna White gets the ole Pussycat Dolls treatment. And actually, she looks pretty awesome. For 73.

• Some dude puts the kibosh on that whole "Charlize Theron as Dusty Springfield clam-slamming Kate Moss in Ang Lee movie" rumor. And we hate him for it.

• Young Hermione Granger mistakes Corona with lime for butterbeer; gets wasted, fails OWLs, and is forced into a life of peddling her feminine wares in the shadowy recesses of Knockturn Alley.