filed under: Demi Moore

You were in Austria?
I’m always…looking for the cutting edge on things that are for optimizing health and healing.

Just a week ago I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatments was leech therapy.

These aren’t just like swamp leeches, we’re talking about highly trained medical leeches… [laughing]

I know thousands of years ago they were common
Bleeding was a very common thing… it detoxifies your blood and they have a little enzyme that when they’re biting down gets released into your blood, and generally you bleed for quite a bit, and your health is optimized. It detoxifies the blood. I’m feeling very detoxified right now.

Is it the enzyme is that what’s critical?
They start in a spot for me that is a horrible spot, which is my belly button. They test it out. They are in a little jar with water and glass and they pull it out and they have to stick it in my belly button.

Where does this take place? At a hotel? At a clinic?
In this woman’s house and I’m laying on a bed.

And she says “we’re going to apply the leeches?”
Yes they do the little sampler first which is in the belly button and it crawls in. And you feel it bite down on you and you want to go “you bastard!” and then you relax and work on your lamaze breathing, and you watch it swell up and get fatter and fatter. And then when it’s super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it’s stumbling out of the bar.

Are you sure it’s not menopause?
No, but I was going to recommend this for your tic.

You have to do a turpentine bath first.

Did you feel better after the leech deal?
You first feel worse, then you feel better.

You’re not going back?
I am going back, because I only got 4 leeches and I feel a little cheated.

Clinically speaking how can we prove that you are more healthy after the leeches?
By a blood test. They can see the levels in your blood, if you’re anemic… they release in their enzyme heparin, which is a natural blood thinner.

With the recent brouhaha surrounding Scientology and its followers, Kaballah’s golden couple Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have fallen off the radar. Sources close to the couple say the timing is good, because the couple’s relationship with the religion has been called into question as of late.

“Ashton and Demi used to have an impeccable attendance record,” says one source with close ties to the Kabballah Centre in L.A. Another source close to the couple says it’s been “months” since the two attended services or participated in the Shabbat dinner after Friday services. Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that Kutcher was just last week spotted shopping on Robertson Blvd. without his trademark red string.

What’s to blame for the couple’s flagging attendance?

Definitely not Moore’s kids, because they’ve never been active. “It’s something that Bruce Willis never allowed,” says the source with ties to the Centre. Others say that Kutcher was “tired of being dragged there on Friday nights.” Whatever the case, the sudden change in routine strikes those who know the couple, who were married in a Kabbalah ceremony, as worrisome. “It’s just odd,” says the source with ties to the Centre, “something must be up.”

According to Maxim Radio's The Manertainment Report, Ashton Kutcher's cell phone, which just happens to contain over 30 pictures of Demi Moore nude, is being held for ransom by a French taxi driver. Apparently, Ashton forgot his phone in the cab while on vacation in April, and now the driver wants $1 Million, or he will sell the pictures, of both Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore naked, to the paparazzi. And if that wasn't bad enough (or good enough, depending on your point of view), the phone also contains a whole bunch of celebrity phone numbers.

"I think Demi is getting too old to have kids of her own.

"Demi and Ashton have been trying (to have a child) for years. She had a miscarriage two years ago... Now she is trying to get her hands on my kids.

"I think there is some kind of co-dependency. Demi has been bankrolling Morgan so that she can stay involved with all his offspring and keep all of her little flock close. She's a piece of work."

"If or when Demi is pregnant- she and her husband will decide if that extremely private information should be made public. In the meantime, you should assume she is not."