filed under: Daniel Radcliffe

• Get a black snake bone. Look at Christina Ricci in a bikini. (The Blemish)

• Keira Knightley was attacked by a wandering expletive-spewer and lived to tell the tale. (Yeeeah!)

• Being the concubine of Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood is used to standing next to undead ghouls, so she looks right at home beside Mickey Rourke. (CelebWarship)

• Hilary Swank will gain 30 pounds for a movie role. Which is cool because we also plan on gaining 30 pounds, basically because Totino's Pizza Rolls are on sale at Safeway. Solidarity! (Daily Stab)

• Ay oh! Oh ay! Whaddaya doin', Samanter? It's Alyssa Milano naked! (Mr. Skin)

• Another male has willingly placed his wango inside of Star Jones. (Holy Taco)

• Daniel Radcliffe admits when he was a teen, his magic wand found its way into a cougar's Hairy Pooter. (Derek Hail)

• Holly Madison take a carefree swing, and tosses out some beav. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Lacey Chabert gives us a party of two. (Fatback)

• Katie Holmes has the knees of a three dollar hooker. Or that girl Tammy who was voted "friendliest" in tenth grade. (Cityrag)

And now what you've all been waiting for: hot hot sexy totally hot Harry Potter nudity! England really is liberated, isn't it? According to Cinematical:

Okay. I know that fandom usually leads to fanfic stories that center on a million different sexual scenarios, but what's with the Harry Potter nudity? If Ace Showbiz has it right, Daniel Radcliffe is stripping once again, but this time it isn't for a disturbing play about horses. It's for Harry Potter.

Yes, they report that the almost-20-year-old will strip down for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Radcliffe is quoted as saying: "At first I thought I'd have pants [underwear] on for the scene. Apparently not. But I've sort of done that before on stage. It's all old hat now, really."

We can see it now: Harry will be alone in the woods after a nasty run in with a snark-eyed squaggle and he'll slowly strip off his claw-slashed shirt to dress his wounds by a stream. Oh, this water is warm! It would be so nice to take a bath. And what's this? Some helpful traveler left a bar of Irish Spring and loofah on that shiny rock over there. So Harry starts to peel off his pants, slowly, as not to aggravate his wounds, and then his Fruit of the Looms, as the camera pans in for a nice brown-eye close-up. Oh, wait, that's the plot of Hairy Squatter Spits Not Swallows, direct-to-DVD October '08. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, on the other hand, will probably have the cinematic equivalent of those "racy" "shocking" Miley Cyrus pics, and every Wal-Mart shopper in all of Whoville will be outraged.

• Patricia Heaton is a conservative, but her dress sure ain't.

• Scratch your head in wonder as you ponder the bizarre flap of flesh that resides between Janet Jackson's ubiquitous implants.

• Anna Nicole's former assistant, the beloved Kimmie, will be opening up tonight--for real this time--on The Insider. Pat O'Brien is gonna go fuckin' crazy with her.

• Anna Nicole will be buried next her her son in the Bahamas, it's been decided. Finally.

• Are Angelina and Brad presently purchasing the next member of their Benetton brood?

• Harry Potter proudly waves his trouser wand; doesn't make foreskin disappear. Make your own hung/horse joke here. NSFW.

• We had pretty much decided against posting any shots of the paparazzi bothering Britney Spears during her breakdown. But then we saw these shots/video of buzz-shorn B attacking a pap's SUV with an umbrella and had to share because 1. she looks, awesomely and deliciously, like her lesbian soccer team just lost a match and she felt compelled to deface her opponent's vehicle, and 2. we think she needs to call us immediately because we want to start an oi band with her.

Alternate entry title: "Hairy Potter". more »

We were totally skeeved out by the idea of Dakota Fanning getting nakedly raped in a movie. But Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself, nakedly riding a horse on a London stage? That's totally hot. What can we say, we've got a thing for wizards. more »