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filed under: Christina Ricci

April 24, 2008

Christina Ricci Doesn't Like Strippers, Does Like Stripping

Have you happened to notice the rise in actresses playing strippers in recent years? And we're not just talking about your Shannon Tweeds and your Debbie Rochons, either. We're talking about A-list pole porkers like Jessica Alba and Natalie Portman. We think if you open your How To Succeed in Hollywood with Little To No Talent handbook to page 148 you'll notice the lesson on how to shed your innocent, child-star image by greasing a pole on the big screen (page 149 contains a related, and less time-intensive lesson on how to shed said image by flashing your beaver, so we know that Emma Watson has a copy on her nightstand). One person who has not utilized the handbook for her own personal gain? Christina Ricci, who thinks that strippers are icky. Reports Contact Music:

Actress Christina Ricci has taken aim at Lindsay Lohan for playing a stripper on screen and setting a poor example to young girls. Ricci claims stars like Lohan, who peeled off in 2007 movie I Know Who Killed Me, have created a culture of women who find flattery in misogyny. She says, "It used to be something that we (women) were sort of ashamed of. You didn't want to admit to people that you were a stripper. But now, the hottest thing to say is, 'I can work a pole!' Who gives a fuck? But it's a huge weird thing. I mean, you see actresses, and their passion project is to play a stripper. It's just stupid."

Yeah, playing a mostly naked waif chained to a radiator for half the movie is just so morally superior. Way to stick to those misogynists, Ricci. more »

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April 03, 2008

Just Like You, Christina Ricci Wants Jessica Biel's Butt

We've been a bit concerned about Christina Ricci lately. We will forever miss those luscious jugs she so viciously hacked off, but beyond that, she seems to grow smaller every day. But it seems there is hope for Ricci's dwindling frame, as she longs for a bubble butt to match her bobble head. Reports People:

"I asked my trainer, 'Can you give me Jessica Biel's butt?'" the actress – who starred with Biel's beau Timberlake in last year's Black Snake Moan – tells the U.K. edition of Elle. "I want a bigger butt."

Alas, because of her tiny frame, "they said I couldn't," she laments. "Everyone wants what they can't have!"

It's probably a good thing that Christina's trainer wasn't willing to help her achieve Biel butt. Once she had that, she'd probably move on to replicating other famous body parts--Angelina Jolie's lips, Lindsay Lohan's breasts, Gwen Stefani's flat stomach--until she looked like one of those composite pictures in Us Weekly where the mash together the body parts that readers voted the sexiest. And those things always look like police sketches of rapists and serial killers. Not a good look for Christina. more »

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January 30, 2008

Christina Ricci Gets Spanked by Monkey

Never before has the Rocket from the Crypt song "Raped by Ape" rung so clear and true as today, as Christina Ricci reveals the monkeyshine (haw!) that went down during the filming of her most recent movie, Penelope:

"I'm afraid of monkeys, but I had decided not to be afraid of Chim Chim because no one else is. I thought, 'Everyone else thinks he's awesome so just be cool.' "It's the first day of shooting and I have this kitchen scene where I'm sitting down and Chim Chim is sitting right next to me. Of course, it freaks out during the take and grabs my left breast and will not let go, and he's so strong.

"I'm so freaked out and the rest of the actors are facing the other way so no one sees that this has happened to me and I'm like, 'Help, help' as quietly and calmly as possible so this thing does not freak out any further.

"Finally they got him off me but my fear is completely validated and I did not go near him for the rest of the shoot. Monkeys are crazy and you never what they'll grab onto - I don't like unpredictable animals."

Well, to be fair, you really can't blame Chim Chim. Christina was on the set dressed very, very provocatively. With a week's worth of leg stubble. And a halter top fashioned out of bananas. And a bare ass painted hot pink. And she was contorting her hands in sign language to say "Koko love" over and over.

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October 26, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Biel 'Brella Bashes Like Britney

• Now that it's raining more than ever/know that Biel still hates the paparazzi/You can get beat by her umba-rella/You get beat by her umba-rella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay. (Egotastic!)

• Britney Spears pretends she has narcolepsy, which is not an oozing venereal disease, like one might automatically assume. (Yeeeah!)

• Katie "Jordan" Price gives a hot blow job!!! She'll really straighten you out! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Work that butt chin, Jessica Simpson. (IDLYITW)

• Now we know what Heidi Klum sees in Seal. (Pssst! It's his enormous penis!!!!) (Derek Hail)

• Happy Halloween! Please stick your candle into Christina Ricci's pumpkins. She was Wednesday Addams, after all, so this is plenty relevant. (Cityrag)

• Find out what happens when Dinas stop being orange and start gittin' REAL. (Fatback and Collards)

• And speaking of questionable Lohans (are there any other kind?), Michael is dressed like it's twink night at the Wet Piston, wtf. (Celeb Warship)

• Rwanda postponed its visit from Paris Hilton, presumably because it needed to reinforce its herpes levees. (Celebitchy)

• Scarlett Johansson knows that nothing says "we're casually dating, I'm kind of into you" than forcing your boyfriend to don your body parts around his neck like a gilded noose. (The Blemish)

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June 12, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: What a Luffoon

• Britney Spears. Her butt. Your face. (TMZ)

• No phrase sends quivers of ecstasy up the male ~~spine~~ wiener quite like "Kelly Brook bikini photoshoot". (Hollywood Tuna)

• Paris is suffering from ADD and claustrophobia. BFD, our cousin Cheyenne is suffering from impetigo and chronic fatigue and she's still in jail. (The Blemish)

• An improvement on that boring Sopranos finale. (Cityrag)

• Justin Timberlake was traumatized filming Black Snake Moan sex scenes with Christina Ricci. "The sex scene was pretty hot," he said. "I’m not going to say it doesn’t feel weird pretending to fuck someone in front of a man with a sound boom, though.” That would be weird indeed, and very unlike our usual practice of fucking a man from the front with his sound boom.(Derek Hail)

• Like a white trash phoenix covered in bong resin rising from a pile of busted lawnmowers, Feder spears: the Union might be resurrected. (Hollywood Backwash)

• Anne Heche and Celestia lose custody of her child. Apparently, when it comes to parenting, playing video games and watching porn is still preferable to having a second personality who is the child of God and speaks in an unnameable tongue. Who knew? (A Socialite's Life)

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February 22, 2007

Christina Ricci Talks About Her Peachies

Black Snake Moan has not yet been widely released in the U.S.A., and it's already racking up the bad reviews. But, speaking of "racking up", the flick features Christina Ricci's snoobs in their second starring role, so the movie will probably do just fine. Christina recently talked to Another magazine about her method approach to forcing her soft and downy parts upon the cast and crew:

"I had to walk around in basically just my underwear all day long. And I would. I wouldn't even cover up in between scenes because I needed to feel comfortable like that. When someone's not comfortable, I think you can see it on camera. And also I needed the crew to be used to seeing me like that so that every time i looked at them I wouldn't see in their eyes: "Oh my god, she's got no shirt on!"

Titillating stuff, pun intended, but we're still probably not going to pay money to see Samuel L. Jackson chain Wednesday Addams to a radiator, both muttering in poor Southern accents. We would, however, gladly dish out $10 plus $5 for Jujyfruits if Snake costar S. Epatha Merkerson got naked. Ooooh, S. Epatha. Can't get enough of that S. Epatha. more »

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January 16, 2007

BREAKING NUDES: Christina Ricci's Boobs in Black Snake Moan Will Make Your (Insert Skin Color Here) Snake Moan

It's that time again, when celebs big and small don this season's it boot, covered in the fur of the rare Ukrainian three-toed chipmunk or some such, and trek all the way to un-bikini-friendly Utah to collect stacks of free size 24 Chip & Pepper jeans and Swarovski-crystal-studded can openers and get their pictures taken somewhere in the vicinity of snow--you know, for variety's sake--and to do something else. We can't quite remember what that last thing was. Wait, it's coming to us. It has something to do with Robert Redford. Oh, yeah, they watch movies! Well, at least the really serious stars sit through the opening credits of the really important films before they get an even more important text on their Blackberry. But those five minutes were enough for said star to espouse how truly genius and life-altering the film is. Us, we just care about boobies. And Black Snake Moan's got 'em. Christina Ricci's boobies to be precise. more »

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September 27, 2006

It's Time to Play "Is That Ricci's Rack?"

Today we have a very special mission for you, a chance for you to play Veronica Mars (or Nancy Drew, if you're old and still clinging to the twentieth century) and solve your own mystery. Behold: Are these Christina Ricci's boobs? After the jump, get smacked in the face with some tattooed boobage. NSFW, obvs. more »

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August 17, 2006

Ricci: Modeling and Basketball Not the Only Jobs with a Height Requirement

Someone please pass us some Tupperware--we need to catch this blood that's pouring from our weeping hearts. Christina Ricci, dissatisfied with her post-Casper/Gallo career, is blaming her lack of plummy, blockbusting roles not on her miserable wooden acting, but on her shortness. Ricci, this is Hollywood. If you weren't born with it, you buy it. Ashlee got a new nose, Tara got new yams, Courtney Love got new everythings. What we're saying is that if you want to make it in this dirty rotten town, you'll suck it up and get metal rods surgically implanted in your limbs like a real man would. You gotta want it. more »

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May 18, 2006

Bikinilo '66

We were all excited to make an oh-so-clever, snarky pun in regards to Christina Ricci donning the two piece--"What a Monster!" "The Nation will need Prozac after seeing those pics!" "Christina in a bikini is The Opposite of Sex"!--but she looks amazing, and we're humbled. Humbled and aroused. more »

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Mr. Skin's Nudity Review: Christina Ricci
CNdb: Christina Ricci Review