filed under: celebrity products

Lindsay Lohan is not having a good week, despite launching her range, as the Brits say, of totally awesome, hot, sexy, fashionable leggings. First off, she's fighting with her clam slammer, reports Page Six:

YOU'D think Lindsay Lohan would be used to all the drama by now. But she was crying her eyes out the other night at the Crown Bar in West Hollywood, upset over a fight she had with her girlfriend Sam Ronson, who was deejaying. "They had a full-blown fight," said our spy. "Evan Ross, Diana's son, and Lauren Conrad comforted her while Lindsay kept wiping her tears."

We think we're beginning to admire Sam Ronson. She seems like she doesn't take any shit from anyone, she always has a really sour look on her face, and we're guessing that when Lindsay is at her most annoyingly self-indulgent Sam barks, "Bitch, STFU or I won't lick your pussy tonight." And we're also guessing that's the only thing that could ever make Lindsay shape up. Maybe Linds should employ Sam as her manager instead of Dina. We bet nobody would dare fire Lindsay if Sam were in charge, but when Mommy's pulling the strings, this happens (via Yeeeah!):

Patriot Pictures tells E! News that Lohan is no longer a part of “Ye Olde Times,” a rom-com in the world of Renaissance Faire. “We have just decided to go our separate ways. We currently have an offer out to another actor.” [Patriot Pictures] would not say whether Lohan was being replaced for insurance, scheduling reasons or for her reputation for being difficult on set.

Was Lindsay insisting on making the costumes too? "People at Ren Faires wear leggings; I make leggings. It'll be genius." Because those things Lindsay is substituting for pants are definitely grounds for dismissal.

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Lindsay Lohan is so poor (How poor is she?), she's so poor we hear she's considering movie roles that Tara Reid turned down. (The preceding joke was a tribute to the return of late-night TV in the midst of the writer's strike. Thank you, Jay Leno, for leaving the real comedy to people who earn about as much as a Burger King night manager.) No, seriously, she's so poor she's begging her friends for money. The New York Daily News reports:

Lindsay Lohan's rocky rehab continues to hurt her bottom line.

A pal of the cash-strapped actress tells us she has been openly asking friends for spending money.

A separate source tell us Ariva - the quit-smoking tobacco lozenge she has been unofficially promoting - paid her a sum in the mid-five figures this week.

Officially, Ariva reps have denied it is paying Lohan - possibly because of all the recent paparazzi pics of her smoking.

Lohan has been back in the headlines for her antics on the Italian island of Capri, where she was honored during the new year holiday at the annual film festival. One Italian journalist told the photo agency X17 that the supposedly sober starlet ran up a 500-euro ($736) bar tab in one evening.

Wow. That's a lot of Shirley Temples. That's, what, about $54 for every maraschino cherry? Imagine how much actual vodka would cost.

That thing you're looking at to the left of these here words? That's the first picture of Jayden James Spears Federline. Or at least the first one that could be distinguished from a snap of a butternut squash wrapped in Huggies. And now that we've been formally introduced via OK! magazine (and BreatheHeavy.com), we have a few words of advice for the little tyke. First of all, pay attention to your older brother. He's learned some street smarts from being repeatedly dropped and left at home with the canine babysitter. Also, when Mommy tries to send you to your first day of school wearing a mini mesh-back that says "Mommy's L'il Pimp" and little Osh Kosh jeans cinched around your lower thigh with a shoestring, don't do it. Wear anything else, even your pajamas if you have to. Oh, and get used to the sight of the vagina from whence you came. You're gonna be seeing a lot of it. more »

Not content with becoming the rap world's V.C. Andrews, 50 Cent is producing his own line of condoms. He said:

“The kids become immune when you constantly beat them over the head. We have to be a little more creative about it. It’s the same with safe sex. As opposed to being part of a safe-sex campaign, I’m going to make condoms and donate a part of the proceeds to HIV awareness.”

We're guessing they'll be well stocked at corner bodegas, where the following exchange will probably be heard every day: "50 cent for a damn condom? Aw, hell naw. Saran Wrap's cheaper than that shit, dawg."