CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: celebrity nudity

July 02, 2008

Audrina Patridge To Bare Her Hills in Into the Blue 2?

audrina patridge pussyca dolls sexy costume.jpg When we think "serious thespians Paul Walker and Jessica Alba in Into the Blue," obviously we also think "sequel!" But in the grand tradition of taking a mildly successful film, not coughing up enough cash to get its stars to return, and instead packing it with boobies (i.e., Poison Ivy 2 and Cruel Intentions 2), Into the Blue 2 will make sure it has a couple of bouncing buoys to grab your attention. Egotastic brings us the poop from a somewhat dubious source:
I can't find the original article, so I'm not 100% sure on this one, but according to National Ledger (ever the bastion of journalistic integrity), Star magazine is reporting that we will see Audrina Patridge topless in her new movie Into the Blue 2. The report also indicates that we will soon see pictures of Audrina nude on the set, but I think that's a stretch.

"Audrina will keep the buzz of her cleavage going this summer with more nude pictures from the set of a film she is working on. According to a report from Star magazine, Audrina will be taking it all off again in the film. The scandal from March has not dissuaded the 23-year-old from stripping it off and the magazine is reporting that is what she will be doing during the filming Into The Blue 2.

"Star Magazine is reporting that it has learned Audrina will have a topless scene in the movie (where she plays Kelsey and stars along side Laura Vandervoort). 'The script calls for a moment where Audrina takes off her bathing-suit top for two seconds,' a source tells the magazine. 'Still, she's a little nervous, because she wants to be seen as a serious actress.'"
A serious actress, huh? We think we'll believe that one right around the time we start believing Heidi Montag really wants more privacy. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 30, 2008

Emmy Rossum OK with Showing her Naked Rackum

emmy rossum marching band.jpg Unless you're a big Andrew Lloyd Webber fan (and those guys usually don't like boobies, as our readers obviously do), you're probably not too familiar with Emmy Rossum. We bet you've seen her though. She seems to show up at every event with a red carpet where anything with sequins and a flowing skirt is acceptable attire. She's generally pretty yet forgettable, with wide eyes that suggest she's just witnessed Amy Winehouse snorting dried feces out of a human skull, and skin so porcelain you almost expect to see some carrot sticks churning through the digestion process beneath it. But hopefully we'll get to see Emmy's more external organs before long. Our own personal internist, FemaleFirst, reports:
Emmy Rossum has no problem appearing nude on the big screen.

The 21-year-old actress - who shot to fame when she starred as Christine in 2004 musical adaptation 'The Phantom of the Opera' - would be prepared to strip off in a movie but would never agree to bare all.

She said: "I wouldn't rule out doing a nude scene, but I don't think I could ever do full-frontal. That's probably the one thing I couldn't do. Touch wood."
Wait, we're confused. What's the one thing she won't do, go full frontal or touch wood? We guess we'll have to wait for Emmy's career to wane from the great heights relative obscurity it now inhabits and see if she gives up a bit of bush or just goes topless while touching a big boner.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 24, 2008

Billie Piper Thinks Nudity Will Ruin Career, Is Wrong

billie piper in feathers.jpg Unless you live in England (and we bet you don't, as in our mind England is filled with only stuffy old professors in tweed suits who smoke pipes and half-toothless paupers who are constantly uttering "guv'nor", and there's probably not much overlap with our readers in those categories) you most likely don't know who Billie Piper is. So think back a week or two to when every website you visited was about 30% actual content and 70% ads featuring Mary-Louise Parker watering her pot leaf and some chick in a giant martini glass. Billie is that chick. And being British, she doesn't conform to one of America's deepest-held traditions--the perpetually clothed, virginal prostitute/stripper. She actually gets naked in the TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl! And now she thinks it might ruin her career, silly girl. According to WENN:
British actress Billie Piper fears her recent role as a high-class prostitute will damage her career prospects in Hollywood - because A-list stars never commit to on-screen nudity.

The former Dr. Who star plays the lead role in recent TV drama The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, which follows the exploits of an upmarket hooker living in London.

And now Piper fears the show - which aired in the U.S. earlier this month - may affect her chance of carving out a movie career because of the rife nude scenes.

She says, "Someone said to me the other day, 'What A-list stars get their tits out?' And then I started thinking, 'Oh my God, what have I done? I've ruined my future career!'

"You know, you get photographed on the beach topless. After all, they're only breasts."
We think that Billie needs a bit of schooling in the nudie cinematic arts. Today's A-list isn't comprised of just Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker; there are plenty of bared bits and bobs in Hollywood's top tier. To name a few: Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Halle Berry, Penelope Cruz, Heather Graham, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Keira Knightley, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Demi Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Charlize Theron, Kate Winslet. Is that enough proof for you, Billie? Much like Cocoa Pebbles are a part of a well-balanced breakfast, nudity is an essential ingredient in any successful Hollywood career. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (1) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

Miranda Kerr Topless. Orlando Bloom Bottomless.

miranda_kerr_topless_1.jpgWe at CelebNewsWire have made no bones (that's a clever play on words, just wait and see) about the fact that we don't believe Orlando Bloom has genitals. Like a wood sprite or that gnome that scared the Argentinians, he has no need for carnal pleasures when he can make merry in a meadow or drink morning dew out of a lily of the valley. Today we come one step closer to realizing our hypothesis, as Orlando and his girlfriend, Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr, are snapped sunbathing half naked on a balcony. Our suspicions about his groin area still aren't confirmed, but the oddly smooth, plasticine buttocks certainly help. Though the absence of pan pipes and curled-toe shoes is troubling. After the cut, see Orlando's ass . . . oh, and Miranda Kerr's boobs. If you're into topless lingerie models or something. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 23, 2008

Burnt Sienna

sienna miller wears dumb clothes.jpg Today we've got a bit of a Sienna Miller grab bag for you. First she talks about her boobs. Then she talks about her boobs some more. OK, so we guess it's not really a grab bag. Unless by "bag" we mean "nutsack". If that's the case, then Sienna Miller talking about her titties is most definitely a grab bag. Our own personal breast specialist, FemaleFirst, reports:
Sienna Miller burnt her boobs while making her new movie.

The 26-year-old actress revealed the accident happened when she was filming a stunt for action blockbuster 'G.I. Joe'.

She revealed: "I had every intention of working out but it just didn't happen - I've never been to the gym.

"I got burnt boobs, I ran the wrong way under an explosion. It was my own fault, I'm clumsy, there's a little scar."

Sienna - who stripped off in 'Factory Girl' and the forthcoming 'Hippie Hippie Shake' - also admitted she finds nude scenes uncomfortable because of "perverts" on set.

She added: "The damage is done, everything's been seen! It's a little bit awkward at the time. There's the odd perve in the corner."
Because this is Sienna Miller here, and the total wardrobe cost for the duration of her career thus far has been about $87, we're assuming that Sienna's boobs were burnt because she was running away from an explosion in the nude, in slow motion. We're also assuming that particular scene will eat up at least 40 minutes of screen time, which will help G.I. Joe beat every single box-office record in history. Yea for Sienna's scones! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 20, 2008

Tits Knightley Talks About Her Naked Tits

keira knightley mouth agape.jpg Ol' Tits Knightley, oh, how we've missed you. Sure, Keira Knightley has been out and about, hanging with right old chap Rupert Friend and practicing her pronunciation of 'enry 'iggins, but we haven't heard her wax poetic on her most favorite subject--tits--in quite some time. But now that she's set to once again bare her "two aspirins on an ironing board" in the upcoming Dylan Thomas biopic The Edge of Love, it's time to talk titties. According to IMDb:
Keira Knightley didn't hesitate when she was asked to bare her breasts in new movie The Edge Of Love - because she believes sex scenes are more believable when performed by naked actors.

The 23-year-old actress has no qualms about appearing in the buff, insisting nudity has even become a habit of hers.

She tells People magazine, "I always bare my breasts. It's not like it's only in this film!"

So when Edge Of Love filmmaker John Maybury requested her to remove her bra, she was happy to oblige: "I said, 'All right then.'

"It was very simple. It was a sex scene and I never like them when they've got bras on."
This is exciting and all, but we get the impression that The Edge of Love can't possibly live up to our lofty expectations. It stars Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller. And they do it! In our minds we're pretty much imagining a Misty Mundae movie, with Keira and Sienna completely naked and bumping boobies in the Welsh countryside for roughly 89% of the film. But then we watched the trailer. It's a bit more Jane Austen with Wellies than Jesse Jane. Maybe next time, girls.

more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 18, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: An Emmy's Just Like a Razzie, Right?

lohanpeeved.jpgLindsay Lohan has pulled a Heigl and withdrawn her name from the Emmy race. To which the Emmy panel said, "OK. Sounds good. Who's Lindsay Lohan?" (Celebitchy)

Mickey Rourke takes his new face out to ogle some gay stripper's grape-smugglers. (Yeeeah!)

Keanu Reeves is seeing China Chow. You're also seeing China Chow. Seeing her topless, that is. In related news, China Chow is not kibble for Chinese people that comes in a 15 lb bag. Who knew? (Taxi Driver)

Jennifer Lopez and Unfrozen Caveman Husband take their spawn out for some fresh air. (Faded Youth)

• Forget danceoffs; Mel B is getting her revenge on Eddie Murphy with an album called Beverly Hills Cock. That sounds nice. (Daily Stab)

• The many toups of Jeremy Piven. (Cityrag)

Nicole Richie gets her Mrs. Roper on. (Seriously OMG WTF?!)

Gisele Bundchen speaks highly of beau Tom Brady; says he "doesn't have a bad bone in his body." That's right, because his bad bone is in YOUR body. Swish! (CelebWarship)

• Boil some water and get some clean sheets--Britney's on her way to Lousiana to be there for Jamie-Lynn's birthin'! Wait a minute, we're talking about Spearses. Boil some Diet Mountain Dew and get some dirty sheets! (The Hollywood Gossip)

Puffy Dangle Doobie Diddle waxes his nutbag. It is imperative that we know this. (The Blemish)

Kate Moss dons a tasteful, maternal see-through dress to take her daughter for a stroll. (Flisted)

Anne Hathaway is all, "there once was a man from Nantucket." (WENN)

AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 16, 2008

Denise Richards + Nudity = Career Resurgence?

denise richards sad big hair.jpg It's well documented that we here at CelebNewsWire are not the biggest Denise Richards fans. But we are also professionals who are willing to set aside our personal feelings when faced with hard news. Oh, wait, we meant "faced with hard penises." Because Denise Richards showing off her sacks for Playboy has a lot more to do with hard penises than hard news. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Denise Richards is considering another romp for Playboy magazine.

The sexy star bared all for the men's magazine in 2004 and now her marriage to Charlie Sheen is over, the actress is thinking about making a return.

She tells AOL.com, "It's still a possibility. It's so iconic and fun."

And Richards admits she quite liked the attention she got after posing naked for the publication four years ago.

She adds, "I think that my niche is as a sex symbol. I'm never going to be the girl next door, so why not play up my niche?"
Holy shit, she's planning on showing her niche? That's awesome. We thought we'd only get tits.

And to verify that Denise likes you looking at her hooters, here she is admiring herself on MrSkin.com:

more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (2) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 10, 2008

Get an Inter-pole

helena_christensen_bikini_paul_banks_1.jpgModel Helena Christensen is perhaps best known for getting well-exfoliated by Chris Isaak in his "Wicked Game" video. These days, she doesn't do much modeling, but she does do Paul Banks from Interpol. The couple recently enjoyed a vacation in Miami, and some pictures of them sunbathing topless emerged, which presented a terrific opportunity to teach you kids about cause and effect. Pay attention!


Cause:
helena_christensen_bikini_paul_banks_2.jpg

Aaaaaaand effect:

helena_christensen_bikini_paul_banks_3.jpg

After the cut, enjoy some Helena boobs and you might just be wearing the same look of utter, nard-cupping contentment as ole Paul there.
more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 05, 2008

Kate's Anatomy

kate_walsh_upskirt_1.jpgMan, what an erotic day today is. It's so erotic! It's dripping with chocolate sauce and ice cubes and personal massagers and Sade records. And the rippling undercheeks of Grey's Anatomy actress Kate Walsh. Follow the bouncing cut and become one with the wind that blew up her skirt yesterday. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

June 04, 2008

Hazellnuts

keeley_hazell_nuts_topless_01.jpgBeing Americans and all, we're not exactly sure what this Nuts magazine is all about. Going by the title, one might assume that it was a testicle fetish thing, but using our amazing powers of deduction, we can infer it's mostly about Keeley Hazell's gargantuan breasts. Thus, they should call it Chest Nuts. Or maybe Cat Fancy, that's a nice name.

Step into the cut to fill your eyes with front butt! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (1) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 21, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Still Big

jessica_simpson_bikini_boob_touch.jpgJessica Simpson gives herself a breast exam. "Are they still big? Yep. Yep. Still big." (Egotastic)

• Hey, ladies. Hold on to your panties and your cocktails, because Kiefer Sutherland is single! (Derek Hail)

• Tina Turner says that Beyoncé will never be rock n' roll. Oh yeah? Well guess what, Tina? You'll never be polka! Eat that! (Female First)

Shania Twain has learned an important lesson: don't marry a straw-haired producer of bombastic rock music and live in seclusion in Europe lest straw-haired producer runs off with the manager of your Swiss chateau. Oh, that's a story as old as the hills. When will they ever learn? (Hollywire)

• Every part of Kristen Bell is adorable. Up to and including her wee booty. (The Blemish)

The Hills's Whitney Port becomes Titney Port when she slipples nipple. (Drunken Stepfather)

• And speaking of Hills douches, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get fingered. (Allie Is Wired)

• Ten Toys that Made You Gay. (Cityrag)

Joss Stone explores another girl's dental work. With her tongue. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

Gossip Girl's Blake Lively cavorts on beach with Penn Badgley. And one of them is wearing a bikini, but we won't spoil it and tell you which! (F-Listed)

AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (1) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 20, 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow Recaptures Youth by Flashing Boob

gwyneth paltrow wins oscar cries.jpg Young actresses will go to great lengths to get noticed, even (or perhaps especially) if they've been given a leg up by their famous parents. And by "great lengths," of course we mean showing off their kajooblies on film. But then they get the accolades, pop out a few kiddos, and it's curtains (and shirts) closed. But while Angelina Jolie seems to be sticking fast to this template, Gwyneth Paltrow is yelling, "I'll show you, world; I don't adhere to your rules" by giving up one solitary boob. Reports Roger Friedman of FOX News:
You don’t really think of Oscar-winner Gwyneth Paltrow as the racy type.

But in her new film, "Two Lovers," which debuted at the Cannes Film Festival Monday night, she quite surprisingly bares a single breast. The shot is, shall we say, head-on into the camera. And it’s for more than a couple of seconds. This is no wardrobe malfunction. It’s on purpose. (To paraphrase a great "Seinfeld" quote: "They're real … and they’re spectacular!")

Of course, this moment — it’s the left breast, by the way — is meant to be part of the story; it’s exactly what her manipulative character would do to land her man, in this case a character played by Joaquin Phoenix. In "Two Lovers," Phoenix plays a mentally jumbled lonely guy who tries to juggle romances with both Paltrow’s selfish car crash of a mistress and Vinessa Shaw’s girl next door.
Since popping out little Apple and Moses, Gwyneth hasn't allowed anything to pop out of her top, so this breast baring, while seemingly minor, is a nice surprise. Not as nice of a surprise as a leaked sex tape featuring Gwyneth and Chris Martin engaging in mopey, weepy sex while Gwyn waits for a batch of flax crackers to bake, but nice nonetheless. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

Oops, She Did Tit Again

lily_allen_drunken.jpgLily Allen's rawest and pinkest bits continue their rampage across Earth. First she hauled out the chips, then came the matching fish. And Lily was absolutely delighted. According to SF Gate, she said,
"I didn't know they were on the front pages of newspapers! I thought I was a Page Three girl. It's like: 'Lily, 23, from London.' Finally! My new manager left a message on my assistant's phone, saying, 'Uh, I don't know if you know, but Lily's boobs are all over the newspapers.' It's only taking a bikini top off. I've got nothing to be ashamed of about my body. We've all got them."
Twas so nice, she did it twice. After the cut, more Lily yoinkers. Want some milk for your Weetabix, old sport! We're proper chuffed! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (2) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 19, 2008

Angelina Jolies Slays Pets and Shirts

angelina_jolie_topless_1.jpgYou might think that writing CelebNewsWire is all rainbows and sunshine, hobnobbing with luminaries like Ted Knight and Pia Zadora, pink champagne toasts and freebie gift bags and invites to nightclubs in Dubuque. And you'd be right, of course, but there's also a sinister side to the glamour. And that's the moral dilemma that comes up when we're faced with posting pictures of an internationally beloved star famed for her philanthropy in a state of undress, pregnant yammos visible and obviously taken by some creepo paparazzo with a serious zoom lens.

When such a situation comes up, we usually hem and haw and weigh the pros and cons and then say screw it and post the pics because we have a weak moral fiber and because we don't want Lily Allen's cooch to be the only Sexy Lady Story of the day. After the cut, Angelina Jolie boobies! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (2) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

Lily Allen Covers up Her Bangers, Airs out Her Gash

lily allen vagina upskirt 3.jpg At left we have a photograph of British pop star Lily Allen. So demure. So covered. So ladylike. But she's a smart girl; she knows what gets the attention of the press (and therefore what makes the kiddies buy records). So after the cut listen to Lily say, "F that Wino crackhead. I can do better than her." And by "do better than her," Lily means flash her furburger (with some actual fur on it!) in public. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (4) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 14, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: "If I Was Cyclops and You Were Jean Grey"

ryan_mandy_moore_comic.jpg• Singer/asshole Ryan Adams goes to comic shop expressly for the purpose of fondling Mandy Moore. Nerds everywhere cut selves. (The Blemish)

Tara Reid works a bikini, haters be damned. (Drunken Stepfather)

• It's entirely possible that Tony Romo will never fumble with Jessica Simpson's footballs again. (Yeeeah!)

• Celebrity Muppets. (Cityrag)

Kelly Brook is back together with your friend Billy Zane. (F-listed)

Lily Allen once sang that she wanted to see you smile. Today, the dream becomes reality as shots of her cliff-diving topless emerge. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Some skintage flesh! Tricia Helfer nip slip circa 2007. Battlestar Galac-tit-ca. (Fatback)

• The new cast of 90210 revealed! That one was for all of our under 12 and gay readers. (Bitten and Bound)

• How I Met My Emo Lover, by Flashlee Simpson. (FemaleFirst)

• Another kind of "bump" for Britney. (Daily Stab)

Shia La Beef on La Zit Cream. (Celebitchy)

• When scabies met impetigo: a tender love story featuring Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty. (Seriously OMG WTF)

Amy Smart has a well-padded poon. (Taxi Driver)

AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (1) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 13, 2008

Sienna Miller Hates Nudity, Takes off Top Anyway

Sienna Miller and Santa Claus.gif Here's the thing, ladies: If you're an actress and you have a penchant for taking out your titties whenever the cameras are rolling, your daddy's gonna see them. So if you don't like the idea of your papa peeping what on any other human would turn him on, then go into real estate or accounting. Or hire a hitman. Or keep your shirt on. Otherwise, Sienna Miller, we don't want to hear about how embarrassed you are that your dad saw your raspberries. Contact Music dishes:
Actress SIENNA MILLER hates stripping off on-screen - because she can't stand the idea of her father seeing her naked.

The blonde beauty worries so much about her beloved dad seeing her in steamy scenes, she warns him to cover his eyes when she appears undressed.

She says, "I get embarrassed, especially if my dad watches them. I get embarrassed watching them myself. But sometimes you just have to do it."

But the British star insists on performing realistic sex scenes - by refusing to wear a bra in bed.

Miller explains, "It has to be realistic and I think it is probably very rare that people have sex with their bra on so if you are going to do it, just do it. That's my motto."
We've got a simple solution for Sienna: Tell Dad to only go to the movies that don't focus on her cajooblies. Like, uh, that one . . . what was it called? Oh no, she wasn't in that one. Well, there was . . . hmmmm. We're drawing a blank here. Surely she's been in one movie that we've heard of where she's not showing off her headlights. Right? One? OK, maybe not. But we do respect Sienna's dedication to realism. Dad's just gonna have to suck it up and pretend that all of Sienna's movies employ the world's most adept body double. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 12, 2008

Kim Cattrall Returns for Sex and the Titty

kim cattrall falls down.jpg It feels like the Sex and the City movie has been in theaters for about six months now, with all the hype surrounding it, but in reality it won't be released until May 30th. So get ready for three weeks of publicity overdrive, with all the main players talking constantly about everything sexy and city-y. Hopefully this media blitz won't include Sarah Jessica Parker reflecting on the conception of James Wilke and whether or not the phrase "fill me up" was involved. What we do have is Kim Cattrall gushing about her self-induced gushings and her movie nude scene, as well as Kim's mom telling everyone how proud she is of her nudie offspring. Our gossip nudist camp counselor, FemaleFirst, reports on the clitty diddling:
Kim Cattrall says masturbating from a young age is the secret to a successful sex life.

She said: "The earlier you learn to masturbate, the better your sex life will be. It took me years of self-discovery to get there - I even read books by sex therapists and stood naked in front of a mirror to try to learn how to get in touch with my body.

"Experimenting at an early age would have provided me with a basis for a more fulfilling sexual relationship."
And about the booby baring:
Kim Cattrall dieted and exercised to prepare for her nude scene in 'Sex and the City: The Movie'.

The 51-year-old actress was very nervous about the raunchy sequence, and made sure she did everything she could to look her absolute best.

She said: "I exercised and I dieted. I wanted to look the best I could.

"For me, turning 50 is like when I turned 40. I thought, 'Oh, can I be a sex symbol? Can I play this character? Can I do this?' And I just sort of thought to myself, 'Yes I can.' I will diet, I will make my a** do what I want it to do."
And Mommy Cattrall muses:
Kim is a role model for 50-something women. Much has been made about her nudity in the film, but I think she looks fabulous. Anyone who knocks that is jealous. All this fuss about a bit of nudity is ridiculous.
Thanks for the spoilers, ladies. Now we know that Kim Cattrall will be naked in the movie and all the suspense is gone for us. What are you going to tell us next, that Carrie wears really ugly clothes? more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 08, 2008

C'mon! Vogue! Let Your Feet Rub the Boobies!

eva_mendes_naked_vogue_1.jpgEva Mendes recently graduated from rehab, and she wants to make damn sure we all know that she is 100% OK. According to various academic texts like the Bible, Introduction to Modern Physics, and Choose Your Own Adventure #45: You Are a Shark, the best way to do this is by showing your boobs. Eva did just that in the latest issue of Italian Vogue. After the cut, jugs! Jugs filled with sobriety! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (9) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 07, 2008

That '70s Boob

mila_kunis_naked_boot_camp_1.jpgIf you are anything like us, you often wonder what the world looks like via the eyes of Macaulay Culkin. Oh, to grasp your cheeks in mock horror and shout "AHHH!" while staring into a mirror! Oy, to see what those eyes saw during the filming of Uncle Buck! And, to a lesser extent, to see what girlfriend Mila Kunis looks like naked. Today, our dreams come true, because shots from her upcoming film Boot Camp have leaked. Enlist in Boob Camp, and you will be leaking. After the cut! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 06, 2008

Mischa Barton Sunbathes Topless; Laughs in Face of Aussie Ozone Hole

mischa_barton_topless_1.jpgWe'd love to share uncensored Mischa Barton topless pictures with you. Honest we would. Unfortunately, we cribbed these ones from Egotastic and they appear to have stars over her junk. Which probably comes as a relief to the old Mischa--who's vacationing in Australia--for she is none too pleased about the pics having been taken in the first place. She told the Sydney Morning Herald:
"We went out from Hamilton to a tiny island to relax in the sun and all of a sudden [paparazzo] Jamie Fawcett jumped out of a bush with a massive camera lens and took photos of me. He'd followed us in a boat! He's a ridiculous human being. I've never abhorred anyone more. I was so angry I went up to him and said how disappointed I was with his behaviour. He apologised but he was very insincere."
We're used to English media outlets Britishizing (Britishising?) American stars' quotes (and yes, we're aware that Mischa was born in England, but she was raised in America and is for all intents and purposes American), but this is the first example we've seen of Australia doing something similar. Although we would prefer it if they get a bit more Oz with it. "G'day! Me and my betties went to Hamilton to toss about the ole boomie and play some dij, and all of a sudden [paparazzo] Jamie Fawcett jumped out from behind a marsupial and took photos of me. What a larrikin! He's a ridiculous ocker. Throw another shrimp on the barbie that's not a knife this is a knife Yahoo Serious just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich OY! "

Here's some more pictures of Mischa so you all can talk about how her cellulite grosses you out and how you totally "wouldn't hit that butterface without triple-bagging it brraaahhh" or whatever it is you gorgeous and charming folks say in situations such as these.

mischa_barton_topless_2.jpg mischa_barton_topless_3.jpg
more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (0) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 05, 2008

Kristen Bell Is Naked; Not Cute

kristen_bell_shoves_up.jpgMuch like Christina Aguilera's nude pool time with her hubby, and Mary-Kate Olsen running around her home in nothing but a few strategically-placed rubies, Kristen Bell enjoys going without clothing while in her domicile, and she would very much like you to know about it, along with her hatred of the term "cute". According to our gossip life coach, FemaleFirst, Kristen says,
"Cute is great but you get it a lot and you want to scratch your face off. It's like, I'm not fucking cute, you fuck. I am a woman and I am voluptuous."
Oh snap, way to drive the point home with two F-words in one sentence. Vicious! Adorably vicious. Awww. Kristen adds,
"I rarely wear clothes when I'm at home. And I love making breakfast while I'm naked. But I've got to make sure the gardener is not coming over that day!"
Oh boy, can we ever relate to that! Only replace "gardener" with "Cousin Corky with the meth" and "making breakfast naked" with "playing with our Get-Along Gang figurines naked". Oh, Montgomery Moose, you irrepressible wag! more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (3) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 02, 2008

Amy Smart: Non-Stop Titmaker

amy_smart-tit_slip_1.jpgIt appears that intrepid treasure hunters found their way to the X's on Amy Smart's breasts, dug, and unearthed the priceless booty beneath. Or the priceless boobies beneath. Or booty would also be appropriate in this case of these pictures straight from the filming of her movie Crank 2: High Voltage. Which, from the look of the pics, seems to be the tender coming-of-age story of a bare-tittied wench who buttfucks an ironically-mulletted man and then throws him over a car.





amy_smart-tit_slip_3.jpg amy_smart-tit_slip_4.jpg amy_smart-tit_slip_2.jpg

The plot thickens with nude Amy boob after the cut.
more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (4) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

May 01, 2008

Keeley Hazell's Gone Nuts Once Again

keeley_hazell_nuts_1.jpgIn case you were wondering what award-winning actress Keeley Hazell has been up to lately, the answer is "the usual". The usual being two gigantic, succulent skin domes filled with a milky fluid. Underneath the word "NUTS". Good luck with that whole masturbating thing!

After the cut, the boobs sans the word "splendid" over them. more »
AddThis Social Bookmark Button | comments comments (1) | send to a friend send to a friend

-------------

April 28, 2008

Miley Shyly, Not Smiley, Over Wily Topless Shots

miley_cyrus_topless_1.jpgYou'd think that after coming face-to-cervix with Britney's and Lohan's ham tunnels, we'd maybe be a little jaded about a vaguely "sexy" picture of a teen starlet. You'd think that, but you'd think wrong, because apparently a brou-ha-ha is brou-ing over some topless shots of Hannah Montana that appear in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. In the accompanying article, Miley Cyrus says,
“I think it’s really artsy. It wasn’t in a skanky way.… And you can’t say no to Annie. She’s so cute. She gets this puppy-dog look and you’re like, O.K.”
However, now that the mag is out, Miley isn't singing a happy song (lookit that clever play on words. We learned that from Star!):
“I was so honored and thrilled to work with Annie [Leibovitz]. I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.”
Disney's statement:
“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.”
Oh, kind of like how a fifteen-year-old is manipulated into selling lunch boxes and Trapper Keepers and $1000 concert tickets? Yeah, kind of like that. Anyway, we don't really see the big deal about the pictures. She's showing 1/3 of her back. The last time the public got this worked up over so little skin, it was in 1906, when Gibson Girl model Hattie Mae Brunfield went to the nickelodeon sans swan-bill cor