CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.
With celebrities dropping like John Mayer's pants at a sorority mixer, there's one thing we could all use today. And that one thing is video of a ridiculously pretty lady, totally naked but artfully hiding most of her nakedness with an Egyptian cotton sheet, writhing around on a bed while soft, romantic music plays. Doesn't that sound nice? Maybe not as nice as if she lost the sheet, but we'll take it. So enjoy this video of supermodel Bar Refaeli's nude ass. We don't know why she's being filmed naked, but we like it. If this is how Bar celebrates a break-up, then we hope George Clooney swoops in and snatches her up. For about a week.
So the other day, fun-sized Smurfling Hayden Panettiere told the press that she would be cool with taking off her Panettieres for a movie. We thought she was just phunking with our hearts, but now it looks like she may put her money where her mouth is for the upcoming I Love You Beth Cooper. Popeater eats pop and then regurgitates it in the form of some Hayden quotes:
The 20-year-old actress bares all in her new film, and as she tells PEOPLE, she has absolutely no problem with it while she's got youth on her side. "If I can't flaunt it at 20, come on! I mean I might as well show it now,"
In the film, Panettiere has a scene in a high school locker room, where she drops her towel.
"It didn't bother me much. I think when the person who's doing it gets all uncomfortable and shy, then it's other people around who get more uncomfortable because they're uncomfortable. I mean I was fine everyone was really professional," Panettiere says of her revealing scene.
"Bares all". Pah! We've heard it all before. Listen, everyone is going to go cuckoo and blow spontaneous loads after reading that quote but hold up! Remember the cautionary tale of The Proposal. "Full frontal!" Sandra Bullock said. "Nude scene!" everyone crowed. And it turns out that all we can actually see after editing is some wet shoulder blades and maybe the world's blurriest view of buttcrack. So rein in your dongs, dorks. Hayden "bares all" means "from the clavicles up", not "DP anal". And it should be noted that the world's #1 celebrity nudity expert, Mr. Skin, has Skin Skouts tracking down the movie right this minute, to get the scoop on exactly what Hayden shows--and what she doesn't. In the meantime, head over there to get the full report on Hayden nude, as well as any other celebrity you can think of. Even Jessica Tandy. No, we're not kidding.
One of the Real Housewives of New Jersey (Danielle Staub) has a sex tape. We're shocked that "NJ housewife sex tape" is a thrilling story. What a world! What a world we live in. (Yeeeah!)
If you are a bartender and you do not serve a very drunk Jonathan Rhys Meyers, then he is the manager of the Black Eyed Peas and you are Perez Hilton. Only maybe without the weepy YouTube pleas. (The Blemish)
Lindsay Lohan tried 2 dance with Justin Timberlake and he was like O HELL NO and then she totally got mad and 2 get back @ him she Tweeted he was cheating on Jessica Biel & then she wuz hacked but she wasn't OMFG! (CelebWarship)
Stills from Tim Burton's upcoming Alice in Wonderland movie. It's not half as creepy as the '80s TV version with Carol Channing and Ann Jillian. Still gives me the heebies. (Amy Grindhouse)
Hilary Duff is kind of useless and probably a total choadball, but whatever, she looks hot in a bikini. (Anything Hollywood)
Jessica Simpson has a new reality show. To quote Nancy Kerrigan, "WHHHHYYYYYYYY?" (Websters)
Hey guys, have you heard? Megan Fox is sexy. She, like, wears skimpy clothes and hot dresses and talks about wanting to pork ladies and is totally cool with the ganja. Have we talked about this at all before? Because we think we might have slightly overlooked the whole "Megan Fox is sexy" genre of modern celebrity gossip. But now it's totally official, because Meg came in at #1 on FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World list for the second year in a row. So that's, like, real news and shit, and talking about it makes us journalists. Take that, admissions office at Berkeley. See, we don't need you to give us a fancy degree. We can report on important stuff all on our own.
But because it's only two days until the opening of Transmorphers: Rise of the Clones or whatever, we've got even more Megan Fox news for you today. But this time it's not so good. She says she's not getting naked anytime soon. At least on camera. We expect that she'll get naked to take a shower and stuff, although a nice heady aroma might just add to her mystique, so who knows. On being a sex symbol, she said:
I get really embarrassed and I don't know how to handle it. It's like I'm in my underwear every other week in a magazine, so it's not like I'm trying to hide it.
There's nothing wrong with being sexy or being sexual or being a woman. I'm not afraid of that. I just don't necessarily like to talk about myself that way.
I haven't even thought about doing nudity in films, but I'm gonna say that I'm leaning towards 'no', as of right now.
I can't speak for the future. People change. It can be beautiful. And it can have a great impact. And it can win you an Oscar. I mean, not the nudity itself, but the role.
We see your angle here, lady. You think that we'll write about you every time you mention nudity, so you're going to be all like, "I probably won't do nudity," then a month later you'll say, "I'm thinking about getting naked in a movie," then you'll change your mind and decide not to do that nudity, over and over and over again. And you think that's going to work? You think we're going to fall for your trick and keep on writing about you just because you say the word nudity? Yeah, you're probably right. We're weak. Our parents should have beat us more, built some character in us at an early age.
Of course of Paris Hilton has nude pictures of herself hanging all over her house. And of course she would invite Access Hollywood over and point and giggle and say, "You can see my boobies, teehee." You know you weren't expecting her to be all like, "This is an original, one-of-a-kind sketch given to my great-grandfather by Picasso himself. It's a really excellent example of cubism, though personally I prefer his rose period, my favorite being La famille de saltimbanques." So don't even try to pretend that you expected anything less from her. Says IMDb of the Access Hollywood tour:
Hilton showed off the Marilyn Monroe portraits that hang over her four-poster bed and shocked with candid poster-sized photos of the heiress naked, hugging a toy cat and sitting in a Hummer (vehicle) with her pet Chihuahua Tinkerbell poking out between her legs.
She chuckled, "That's me in a Hummer with Tinkerbell, in the buff."
Paris Hilton in a Hummer with Tinkerbell, in the buff. God. Now that's art.
Some days we just don't feel like sifting through the immense pile of bullshit on the internet. Paris and Lindsay are jealous of Jon and Kate? (Their thoughts on the plus 8 have not been revealed.) Yeah, we really don't care. Some days it's just easier to look at pretty ladies. Especially when those pretty ladies are also naked. And oddly today's naked-lady-news comes courtesy of hoity toity "legitimate journalism" mag Vanity Fair. It's named after a classic of English literature! Dorothy Parker and T. S. Eliot wrote for it! See, classy! Therefore it is purely in the name of journalism that Vanity Fair put eleven gorgeous topless supermodels on their cover. The cover story is a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the Pirelli calendar, which each year brings us semi-clothed women for the sake of selling tires. We don't see the connection, but we're not complaining. After the cut, nude Miranda Kerr and a bunch of other naked supermodels. You're welcome. more »
In case you haven't seen it, let us sum up the first season of True Blood for you: murder, really really cheesy vampire acting, voodoo, vampires talking about texting, vampires playing Wii Golf, people tripping balls after sucking down vampire blood. Let's see, what are we forgetting? Oh yeah, and sex sex sex. Which involves lots of boobs and man ass but is very very careful not to show any schlongs or furburgers. And there's a lot of blood. Sometimes it's supposed to be gross, but sometimes it's supposed to be sexy. You'll know the difference by whether the music is creepy or romantic. So what to expect from season 2, which started on Sunday? More of the same, we're guessing. Maybe the vampires will reveal their mastery of Twitter. Plus, there will be even more titters. Anna Paquin says so. She told E! Online (via SF Gate):
I get more naked this season than I did last season. ... It's not an issue for me.
I'm very careful about what I eat, and I work out a lot. My costume entails bathing suits, short-shorts and nude scenes.
I don't want to be perpetuating the myth that women actually do look exactly like the way they look in magazines and on television through absolutely no effort!
That's quite a promise, considering True Blood season 1 contained Anna Paquin nude in four out of twelve episodes. Not bad, especially since she spent the first half of the season as a non-vampire-humping virgin. But Anna's already off to a good start, showing all kinds of hooters and a bit of heinie in the first episode of season 2. Oh, what's that you say? You want proof? You want pictures? Sure thing, buddy. Just follow us after the cut and we'll deliver the goods. more »
That Megan Fox, she's always runnin' her mouth. "I think this, and I hate that, I think this is stupid, I like weeeeeed." But sometimes she runs her mouth about cool stuff, like how she's cool with touching other girls' boobies and farting and stuff. And sometimes she talks about that one time when you, for a second, thought you were looking at Megan Fox's tits, but then you realized that you weren't. That was a sad day. But still kind of sexy, so that's cool. See, when those infamous Megan Fox nude pics (that weren't really nude, but whatever) were leaked to the internets, Meg got a little mad. And she thought about getting all suey (not as in chop, as in hiring lawyers), but then she realized that she wasn't actually naked, so it was all good. She told Entertainment Weekly (via IMDb):
I had booby stickers on. They make these silicone stickers that go on over your nipple.
If I'd been actually topless, I would have sued someone... I know who, and I never did anything about it. It's her karma to deal with, not mine.
See, usually we would be mad about not seeing Meg's jugs, but in this case it's not so bad. It means that Megan didn't get all litigious, making the pictures go poof!, and it means that we can put the pics on our front page. Yay! Everybody wins.
And just in case you forgot what the pics look like (like if you've recently suffered blunt head trauma or something), here they are again. And, hey, it's OK to ogle them because Megan said she doesn't care. This one time we love nipple patches.
Picture it. October 2007. Pope Benedict is sworn in as the head God dude. South Africa wins the rugby World Cup. Mac OS X Leopard is launched. And the whole world fell in love with a little song called "Gimme More" by a woman named Britney Spears, who at that time was mostly known as the funny lady in the pink wig who fed cigarettes to her babies and singlehandedly kept Dinty Moore and Dolly Madison in business. "Gimme More" launched Britney's comeback into pop relevance and relative sanity, and the video featured our gal as an oily-weaved pole dancer who didn't really show anything. Well today, apropos of nothing (maybe dragging Circus tour ticket sales), uncensored outtake stills from the video shoot leaked, and looky. Britney's boobs. With temporary tattoos of roses on the nipples. We suppose we'll put them under a cut for your work safety, unless of course you work for a company that produces temporary tattoos of roses meant for semi-obscuring nipples. In which case, good going man, you've finally hit the big time. more »
All the pics from Megan Fox's UK GQ shoot. That should keep you busy. (Yeeeah!)
David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. Grasshopper, no! (TMZ)
Melissa Joan Hart was praying that Farrah Fawcett wouldn't die . . . because that would have bumped her off the cover of people. Melissa Joan Hartless. Tsk tsk, little teenage witch. (The Blemish)
Sandra Bullock says she's going to be nude in The Proposal. We call Sandra Bullshit on this one. (Fatback)
Speaking of Cam, she says she wants a fat ass. (Amy Grindhouse)
Joe Jonas does a video parody of Beyonce's "Single Ladies". You're two months too late on this one, homey. What next, a "leave Britney alone" parody? Play him off, keyboard cat. (Allie Is Wired)
Those Rihanna nudepics? Yeah, she's not too happy about those. She's so mad, she's all like, "Yeah, Chris Brown, yeah? You think you're cool. I'll show you cool. I'm gonna show the world your teeny weenie and tell everyone you suck in bed. Take that, puny prick." According to Bossip:
She says shes going to release her own photos of Chris. She has less-than-flattering nude pics of him that she plans on leaking. Rihanna says hell be really embarrassed, Rihannas pal said. The source informed that Rihanna sets this plan once after she has calmed down from the rage after the leak of her nude photos.
Not only pictures, Rihanna also reportedly plans to reveal Chris sexual performance to make him ashamed. Rihanna is already telling friends that Chris was a clumsy novice at lovemaking until she taught him everything he knows. The pal added, Shes going to ruin his sexy image.
Obviously the embarrassing quality of these photos is that Brown's member is a midge. But we can hope for more. Like costumes. Costumes involving a Viking helmet and assless chaps. Or maybe the pics will reveal that he has a very ill-advised tattoo. Maybe Taz pissing on Calvin pissing on an ankh?
DISCLAIMER: CelebNewsWire in no way believes that Rihanna is planning on releasing nude photos of Chris Brown, embarrassing or otherwise. We also still don't really believe that those supposed Rihanna nudes are actually her. We do, however, still believe that Chris Brown is A ASSHOLE.
"Smile" singer Lily Allen is such a goddamn good time. She's cute, she's funny, she sings good, she hates Perez Hilton, she makes fun of everyone, she drinks more than Hasselhoff at a White Castle and she is always pulling her squeakers out. In the last two days, she's shown her stuff twice--once on the beach and once at some event. The event pics are cool because besides the nip slip, she's standing next to a sign that inexplicably reads "ANAL". The beach pics are cool because her boobs are so delightfully pert. It makes you want to reach out a finger and poke one while saying, "BOOP!"
The good stuff--the NSFW stuff--is after the cut. more »
Chris Brown pulls an Elephant Man and says "I'm not a monster". Cool, but you're still A ASSHOLE! (Anything Hollywood)
Michael Lohan got arrested. Again. He's a nurturing caregiver and a wonderful role model. (The Blemish)
Charlotte Gainsbourg strips on the beach and shows us just how Frenchly fluffy her Gainsbourger really is. (Mr Skin)
Mike Tyson's young daughter died. Hey, that's not funny. (Allie Is Wired)
Cameron Diaz is aging and alone, but she doesn't give a crap because she looks so foiiiiinnnnne in her bikini. (Celebrity Milkshake)
Here's one for all our legions of 13-year-old female fans (all 0 of you! Hi!): Robert Pattinson shirtless, afflicted with some sort of Sharpie polka dot skin disease. (Celebitchy)
Megan Fox photo shoot. I know this is weird, but it's a sexy photoshoot depicting Meg in a slinky dress. Bizarre. (Drunken Stepfather)
Brad's all, "C'mon, Angelina, we have to get to Cannes" and she's all, "Hold up, Brad, I gotta show the paps a little more of where Shilohs come from." (Yeeeah!)
And speaking of Maria Bello, did you know that she was from the greater Philadelphia area? Isn't that fascinating? Yeah! And it just so happens that Mr Skin has a Top 10 Sexiest Babes from Philly list out now! (Mr Skin)
Lady Gaga learns a sobering lesson. Bleached hair and skimpy white clothing with lots of jewelry makes folks think you're a Russian prostitute. (Faded Youth)
Britney Spears in a bikini on the beach. No, you can go look. It's nice! Seriously. Hey, hey. Look at us. Look. It's okay. It's okay. Really. Shhhh. (The Blemish)
How to dodge those pesky "I'm a flaming girly fairy who loves glitter and hair mousse and Colin Firth movies and, oh yeah, penises" rumors once and for all without actually, you know, touching an icky cooter? Tell the world that you think your fake girlfriend is so totally hot that the entire world should see her naked. Yet somehow we don't think such statements will convince anyone that Zac Efron doesn't like to fondle wieners and rub his expertly coiffed hair all over some studly hunk's waxed chest. According to our very own gloryhole attendant, FemaleFirst, Zaccy-poo thinks that beard Vanessa Hudgens should get all naked in a movie to drop her goody-goody image. Supposedly some vague "source" said:
Zac believes it is a good way for her to get beyond the teeny-bopper stigma. He is making the leap to A-list actor and he wants Vanessa to go along with him.
He said if she has to bare more of her body, then she shouldn't be afraid of doing that.
"Omigod, please, someone look at those gross thingies on her chest before she makes me do it! I don't wannnnnnna!"
When a movie calls for nudity, we're pretty sure this is how the casting goes: Director"Hey, hot chick, take your shirt off and show me your tits. I need to make sure they're not gross or anything. And while you're at it, take off the rest of your clothes and drop to your knees. I've got a special audition for you." But when the movie in question includes a Gwyneth Paltrow nude scene, it's Gwynnie requesting the director give her goobers the once over to make sure they don't resemble something from National Geographic. Paltrow's most recent nude scene (and her only one since giving birth to Apple and Moses) occurred in Two Lovers. You might remember it as Joaquin Phoenix's last film before he left acting to embark on a highly successful rap career. Or you might remember it as that movie you never saw, except for the caps online of Gwyneth's left lobber. That's probably more like it. James Gray, the film's director, said Paltrow was a little nervous about her sunken suckling sacks, explaining:
Gwyneth told me, I dont care about nudity, Ill give you everything you need. But Ive had two children and I just dont think they look very good any more. Do me a favor, come into my trailer and Ill show them to you and if you think they look OK, Ill do it. So I marched in there and I told her they looked great.
We assume that the only dude (other than Moses) getting an eyeful of Gwyneth's maracas after a couple of babies sucked them dry was her husband, Chris Martin. And while he does seem like a right asshole, we just can't imagine him saying, "God woman, put a bra on before one of those things flops me in the face." But mostly because we have a hard time thinking in a British accent. The sentiment, though, sure. How else to explain Gwyn's paranoia about having ugly orbs?
Say what you will about Mischa Barton and her drain-circling career, but the girl is hot in Russia. First she starred in that movie about Russki lesbian pop stars t.A.t.U. and now her movie Assassination of a High School President has gotten its only public showing outside of film fests on Russian television. She is to Russia what Hasselhoff is to Germany, what Jerry Lewis is to France, and what Roxette is to whatever country Roxette is from. You can see pics after the cut, and videos of Mischa Barton's boobs here and here, and how damn badass does that Russian dubbing sound? In the original English version, the narrator says in a wimpy white guy voice, "I had to tell her I figured it all out. Turns out, I hadn't" in the most Wonder Years of ways. Then the Russian dubber comes in and sounds like he's been smoking since he was five and probably says something like "This Mischa, her boobs are much like fresh beet, yes? But even beets succumb to the harshest of frosts. The icy blade of winter's scythe will not dampen the spirits of the state! Now, we drink." more »
Just yesterday we were complaining about the lack of celebrity bikini shots. But perhaps Leighton Meester's tender, succulent rump on the beach has sparked a celeb ass-off. We'll soon see shots of every seat in Tinseltown sneaking out from behind spandex. First up, Paris Hilton, who's all like, "Gossip Girl? I am the original gossip girl. Without me, that Blair would just be some sad little rich girl who's never even had her own movie. Hell, I had a whole movie named after me! Who is she to think she's better than me? Look at this ass! Look at it! Now! I'll even give you a little crack so you know it's an ass and not a pair of lumpy throw pillows stuffed down there. Where's your ass crack, Meester? What, are you above public nudity? Are you too modest to show anything more than a little undercheek? Pony it up, Leighton. We're waitin'." Obviously when it comes to lack of modesty, Paris is the winner of any challenge. The only thing she hasn't shown us are her herpes sores.
The hot new thing for young actresses to do, aside from develop various and sundry neuroses, get Restylane in the lips, and bang Robert Pattinson, is to talk to the press about how they'd be perfectly fine with doing a nude scene if the script depended on it. That way they look loose and free with their bodies but don't actually have to follow through. Diabolical! The latest in a long laundry list of starletsEmma Watson et alto claim such a thing is Vanessa Hudgens, the lovely star of the High School Musical films and the particularly fluffy beard attached to Zac Efron. She recently told E! Online:
"I will show nudity in a film when the time is right. Right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it, but like I said, when the time's right, if it's an amazing movie that I'm really passionate about and that's what it calls for, then we'll see."
What Vanessa doesn't say is that this movie has already happened. It was called Freshly 18 Disney Star's Naked Pics Conveniently Leaked to Press to Boost Publicity and Also Prove Zac Efron Likes Clam, maybe you've seen it.
Hey turds. Have you forgotten about Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue? Have you moved on to something else by now, like Hannah Montana-inspired porn? Well, let's assume that you haven't passed that threshold just yet and are still able to appreciate life's simple pleasures, like a huge celebrity showing her tits in a (surely crappy) straight-to-DVD movie. If you need more extreme forms of entertainment, obviously you're on the wrong website. Just try typing "bukkake" into Google and take your pick. Hey, we're just here to help. For the rest of you, here's Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue, in live motion. Don't say we ain't never gave you nothing'.
Last week brought us R&B star Cassie showing off her pierced biz. It was nice. We liked it. The part we really liked was the fact that even in the act of spreading her shorn snizz to show us where pee comes from, she was able to get her face in the shot. There is no mistaking who belongs to those organs. The same cannot be said for the lovely and talented Rihanna. Rihanna nudes were leaked Friday, and normally we'd drop everything and post 'em, but the fact that her face doesn't appear in the same shot as the butt, nor boobs, nor back beaver, made us highly suspicious. Don't forget that Rihanna has about a dozen tattoos, and the naked bits in the pics have zero. Throwing in a couple of random candids of Rihanna's face separated from the bod was a nice touch, though. "Look! There she is! Incontrovertible evidence!" Here's hoping Rihanna's camp "leaks" a few pics of Chris Brown's grinning face alongside a couple of shots of a dude with a micropenis and a Creed tattoo. Oh, and click "more" for the n00dz. Warning: they are very NSFW. Another warning: they are nice as hell.
Megan Fox as an awkward teen. Without the awkward part. (Cityrag)
Miss California Carrie Prejean topless pictures. She hates gays getting married, but showing boobs is a go. (Celebitchy)
Douche crown prince Pete Wentz says that Twitter is the "highest form of narcissism". Higher than taking webcam pictures of your tattooed dick root? (Digital Spy)
Kiefer Sutherland will be charged with a misdemeanor. Misdemeanor headbutting. God. That sounds so badass. (The Blemish)
Jon and Kate plus 8 plus Jon's 23-year-old fuckbuddy. That's a good show. (Yeeeah!)
ER star Parminder Nagra was kind enough to shoot a nude scene and then kind enough to go to the press and talk about it so we can be sure to watch it. Please insert obvious Bend It Like Beckham joke here. Says Nudography:
Indian-origin actress Parminder Nagra, who shot to fame with Bend it like Beckham, recently filmed her first nude scene, which she said will create a fuss as she is an Asian.
Nagra shot the scene with Emmy Award winning actor Ray Winstone for her upcoming TV film Compulsion.
"I always said I'd never do a nude scene but now I have. I know there will be a huge fuss when Compulsion comes out. It's partly because of the fact I'm Asian. People don't expect me to do that. I never expected myself to do that," Nagra said. "My mum will probably disapprove but I'll deal with that. I'm old enough now to make decisions like this," said Nagra who played the lead role in Bend it like Beckham starring Keira Knightley and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
The film is slated to air on ITV1 on May 4.
The funny part here is that she already showed boob in a movie called Second Generation. So either she forgot all about that, or a rogue faction of alien Scientologist centaurs came to earth and forced Parminder to take her top off but then they told her never to breathe a word of it again or they would turn her into the glue that they use to attach their space bridges across asteroids and oh my god where the hell am I going with this.
She's chirpy! She's fun! She's charming! She looks a little like Michael Jackson! She's Sandra Bullock, and she's strapping on her romantic comedy shoes and being quirkily cute and cutely quirky in a new movie called The Proposal. Oh, and you might be able to see her beav. According to Mr Skin:
The Proposal, which finds Bullock as an about-to-be-deported Canadian businesswoman who tricks her underling (Scarlett Johansson's husbo Ryan Reynolds) into marrying her, will hit theaters on June 19th. But will your jaw hit the floor with a bit of boobs of bush from Sandra?
Bullock recently told Entertainment Weekly of her character:
"[Screenwriter] Peter [Chiarelli] wrote me like a guy, and he never stopped writing me like a guy."
To which the mag countered:
Except, perhaps, in the nude scene. The crucial moment transpires when Bullock's character steps out of the shower, searches for her towel, and stumbles into an equally unclad Reynolds. It was the only sequence that choreographer-turned-director [Anne] Fletcher insisted they rehearse. "I really wanted them to be naked," says Fletcher, "and they never batted an eyelash." Jokes Bullock, "I wanted to do full-frontal nudity before I turned 60, so, check."
Cripes, Ryan Reynolds spends his off days with Scarlett Johansson's boobs pressed against him, and then he spends his work days with Sandra Bullock's boobs pressed against him. The only way his life could be better would be if he got paid 5 million dollars and all the free sandwiches he could eat--oh.
We're not ones to complain about seeing Lindsay Lohan nude in variousmagazines, but we've never understood why girl's giving that shit away for free. She should be milking (yeah, har har) those melons for every penny they're worth. Which, compared to the rest of her these days, is a big ol' pile o' cash. So we're happy to hear that she may be going topless in the Vegas revue Peepshow, starring Scary Spice/Mel B/Eddie Murphy's money pit and Kelly Monaco. People reports:
Is Lindsay Lohan the next star to headline a Las Vegas act?
Possibly. The actress has approached the director of Peepshow, a new Las Vegas revue, about joining the act in several months, PEOPLE has learned.
"I think she would be great in the show," Peepshow's director Jerry Mitchell told PEOPLE. "I would need to meet with her and dance a bit as I would with anyone who would love to be a part of Peepshow."
Lohan was in Las Vegas Saturday taking in the performance that stars former Dancing with the Stars contestants Melanie Brown and Kelly Monaco. If Lohan were to join the show, she would take over for Monaco in several months in a role that requires Monaco to strip down to almost nothing something that won't change if Lohan starred.
"When the character strips she does it because she has learned to be strong by the other character/dancers in the show, and by watching them take charge with their considerable assets," Mitchell said. "I am sure I could do the same for Miss Lohan."
He added, "The show is a perfect match for Lindsay and her beauty as well as her acting talents."
Sure, this might seem like a good idea: Lindsay Lohan naked! On stage! Possibly right in front of me! But think about it: This is not the Lindsay Lohan of Mean Girls. This isn't even the Lindsay Lohan of New York magazine. At this point, seeing Lindsay Lohan naked would be like seeing Shannon Tweed nakednice, but not exactly the pinnacle of celebrity nudity. Plus, leftover Sam Ronson stench probably isn't much better than leftover Gene Simmons stench.
You want Jessica Biel tits? Ohhh ho ho, do we have Jessica Biel tits. And ass. The first caps have emerged from her upcoming stripper movie Powder Blue, which hits limited theaters in New York and L.A. this week and will be released on DVD on June 9th, and they're pretty spectacular. Sure, the strip-club pics are all red, but just pretend like she's in a way more awesome version on the "Roxanne" video. Or, you know, shut the hell up and stop your bitching about stupid crap like lighting when you're looking at Jessica Biel naked. Seriously, dude. Those are Biel boobies right there, being served up on a silver platter. Don't look a gift tit in the mouth. After the cut, Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue. more »
So they're saying Pamela Anderson is set to wed again. This time to scuba diver Jamie Padgett. Eighteenth time's a charm! (Yeeeah!)
Jamie Foxx wants Miley Cyrus to do heroin, smoke crack, make a sex tape, and get chlamydia from a bicycle seat. Uh, it was a tractor and my doctor said it totally can happen, thank you very much. (Pop on the Pop)
Porn star Marilyn Chambers slips behind the green door of life and into the great beyond. RIP, lady. (Mr Skin)
Angelina Jolie named Most Beautiful Woman by Vanity Fair. That's so fucking controversial, man! Can you even believe it? We're outraged! Outraged!!! (Celebitchy)
Remember yesterday, when we posted pics of Jessica Simpson in a muumuu and said we liked the look? Well, we were right. Because now there are naked ass upskirt shots. Ka-BOOM. (Drunken Stepfather)
Lindsay Lohan shows all the depth of your seventh grade production of Pecos Bill and Slue Foot Sue Meet the Dirty Dan gang in a new video for FunnyorDie. (DailyStab)
Hey, look! Naked babes with strategically covered nipples in Allure! (The Blemish)
We haven't paid any attention to Amy Winehouse lately. Maybe that's why she's running around the Caribbean naked again. OK, Wino, we give. We're paying attention to you now. See? There's your name right on the screen. Wino Wino Wino. Happy? Our own nude beach enthusiast, FemaleFirst, reports:
Amy Winehouse staged a breast-baring protest at her Caribbean hotel.
The 'Rehab' singer stunned fellow guests by running through the grounds of the building semi-naked exposed after becoming infuriated when told topless sunbathing was banned.
One guest at the Cotton Bay Village Hotel, in St. Lucia, said: "Everyone was shocked when she began running around half naked.
"She was talking to herself and flailing her arms around but we couldn't understand what she was saying."
The 25-year-old star - who returned to St. Lucia last week to buy a property after falling in love with the island during her three-month holiday earlier this year - ran close to where children were playing in the pool area as she shed her clothes.
She was eventually stopped by a hotel worker, who handed her a blue wrap to cover up.
And while the idea of a crazed lady with a beehive and arms the size of popsicle sticks running around topless is amusing, we prefer yesterday's tale of the Wino smokin' banana peels. Again via our favorite Punk Rock Girl, FemaleFirst:
Amy Winehouse has picked up a new habit - smoking banana skins.
The 'Rehab' singer - who has battled drug addiction - took up the vice while spending time on the island of St. Lucia, where she is currently house hunting in a bid to escape the temptations of London.
A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Amy wandered onto a private porch on Cariblue Beach and began speaking to a group of locals who were smoking banana skins.
"She made sure there wasn't anything really bad in them because she's being so good now.
"They made one in front of her using dried strings from the inside of the peel instead of tobacco, and putting it onto a piece of rolling paper. She loved it and has taken to drying her own peel in the sun and smoking it in the evening."
And then when she was done smokin' banana peels she jumped in her bitchin' Camero, but she got so bored she started drinkin' bleach.
Holy shitting mother of crap! Quit your job and drop out of life, bong in hand! Stash the children safely in a well and run into the streets, brandishing a broken wine bottle and screaming "Jessica Biel naked!" It's long been rumored, and now rumors become reality. Big Booty Biel does, in fact, get nude in Powder Blue. Well shave my head and call me Peanut. Mr. Skin has the whole scoop:
. . . it isn't until the 1-hour, 8-minute mark that our patience is rewarded. At that moment, she lights a cigarette and hits the strip club stage for some pole dancing. Your pole might be dancing as well after the 7th Heaven sweetie finally pops her bra, grabs a candle, and drips hot wax onto her naked tits. SKINCENDIARY!
We see both of Jess's jugs again at the one hour, twenty-four minute mark when she loses her top top make out with Eddie Redmayne. A few moments later, at the one-hour, twenty-seven minute mark, the storied Biel butt appears in all its huge ass glory, bountiful and bootyful before Redmayne steps in the way to eclipse the full moon.
See what we did right there? Not only did we drop some exciting dish on Jessica Biel's quivering, dual rear mounds, we were able to sneak "eclipse" and "moon" in there, thus drawing all the Twilight teens. Thanks, Google!
If only she'd have shown her ass, we could have titled this post "Fanny and Zooey" and it would have been way funnier. Especially for British people. But hey, twee indie rock dudes with inverted wieners! Hey, shy bearded fat guys in plaid shirts who cry while watching Battlestar! This one's for you: cutesy sweetheart Zooey Deschanel gets naked in the upcoming film Gigantic! According to Mr Skin:
57 minutes into Gigantic (a word you couldnt use to describe Zooeys b-cups), she strips down to her panties beside a pool. First, we see her boobs reflected in the rippling water, then theres a much better look from a distance as she stands topless on the diving board. Finally, when Zooey comes out of the water after taking the plunge, her mams briefly break the surface.
Zooey is so sickening adorable that even showing her chits is probably unbearably cute. Instead of masturbating after watching it, you'll go make merry under a waterfall, press some buttercups in a scrapbook and then have a tea party with orphaned baby otters.
There are some actresses who will only take off their clothes if very strict rules are followed. We're guessing that for Jennifer Aniston to get nude, there must be a closed set, flattering lighting approved by her personal lighting guru, a lot of soothing chamomile tea, a soft robe to cover up with when shooting has wrapped, and a baby unicorn to comfort her exploited soul. But then there are ladies like Bai Ling. All of the above requirements must be met for her to put clothes on. Not that anyone has ever went to that sort of trouble for such a ridiculous outcome. Getting Bai Ling nude is like getting a teething baby to cry. Getting a puppy to piss on the rug. Getting Simon Cowell to hurt someone's feelings. Getting little children to run screaming away from Michael Jackson. Easy peasy. So after the cut, get your fill of naked Bai Ling. more »
Well, hello there, chickadees. Are you ready for another Monday morning? Do you have a strong cup of coffee and a long list of Twitter updates to slog through? Are you still having trouble breaking out of your weekend haze? Well then, we've got just the thing for you: Heidi Klum nude and frolicking on the beach. Yay! These shots are from a fancy, expensive art book by photographer Russell James that came out in February. And seeing as how it's nearly April, that means that we're a bit behind. Sorry guys. We dropped the ball. Here we were thinking that we'd find the best in celebrity nudity on the internet, when we should have been hanging out in the photography section at Barnes & Noble. We tried that once, but there was this stinky guy in a beret who just wouldn't get out of our way, so we went home and watched Monster's Ball again. We hope you can understand. We think the pics after the cut of naked Heidi Klum will go a long way to mending this broken relationship. Enjoy. more »
Naked ladies here! Get your naked ladies here! Today's crop of celebrity gossip didn't bring with it much oomph in the way of titillating stories, but it did bring something even better: a hell of a lot of celebrity nudity. The great thing about the internet is that it's global. So when Carmen Electra shows up nude in some magazine in Mexico, you can see it. And you don't even need mail order and those pesky unmarked manila envelopes. Same goes for heiress Lydia Hearst and always nude supermodel Kate Moss. All three of those ladies are naked in magazines from other countries, and the wonder of the internet is bringing them right to your computer. Ah, technology. After the cut, see Kate Moss, Lydia Hearst, and Carmen Electra nude. You'll like. You know you will. more »
There is a very good reason why the world hates supermodels. Because someone like Cindy Crawford can be photographed nude in Allure magazine, and it's as if her shaving-cream-covered body is staring back at you, taunting, "Look at this. I'm 43 years old, and I look fucking awesome. Do you look this fucking awesome? No, I don't think that you do. I don't think that you have ever looked this fucking awesome. Pit 43-year-old me against 18-year-old you, and I would definitely win. And the judges would say, 'Get that disgusting young fatty away from Cindy Crawford. Its hideousness is distracting us from the utter perfection that is naked Cindy Crawford.' So suck it, ugly loser." But Cindy, she's not your typical supermodel. She has a sense of humor. As evidenced by her manhandling a loaf of bread? And getting her teeth brushed by a robot? Yeah, we're not really sure why exactly she's doing those things, unless it's simply to demonstrate the sexiness of bread tearing and robot teeth brushing. But then again, we don't really care. Because after the cut you will see Cindy Crawford nude but for a bit of shaving cream. Which is really all you need to know. more »
Hey, you like girls, right? And you like butts? And you like when girls have butts? Well, duh. If they didn't have butts they'd look pretty damn stupid, right? And it would be really hard for them to sit down. So given all of these things, you will like to see some pictures of blonde funnylady Anna Faris showing off her butt. And sometimes, that's all you need. A pretty lady willing to give up a bit of ass crack. Enjoy St. Butty's Day, everyone!
Generally stage moms/dads are desperate. If their kid isn't making it, they'll try anything that's working for other kids. Your kid lost a part to a little girl with curls? Off to the salon! Some ho with a wonky eye is making millions just showing up at parties? A good hard punch every week or so can make your kid look just like her! We think this is the approach Jamie Spears is taking. Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers are making a killing with their Jesus-y ways, and Britney used to pull in bank when she was all "I'm a virgin, yay God!" So naturally Jamie wants Brit to put in some face time with her neglected Bible. The gossip serpent in our Garden of Eden, FemaleFirst, reports:
Britney Spears has been ordered to read the Bible for an hour a day.
The 'Womanizer' singer's father Jamie - who as co-conservator of her estate has full control of Britney's affairs - has issued the star with a string of rules to ensure she doesn't go off the rails on her 'The Circus Starring Britney Spears' tour.
A source said: "Jamie is determined nothing can go wrong with Britney's comeback. He's making sure she reads the Bible for at least an hour during her quiet time before she goes on stage and has banned her from using the internet. He is even monitoring what she eats by insisting on none of her beloved junk food on the rider.
"He's stopping her from leaving her hotel unless accompanied by a security guard and even though she gets on much better with her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, she isn't allowed to speak to him without Jamie or her manager there."
Those are all pretty good, responsible rules, Jamie, but didn't you forget one? Like, Britney may not leave the house unless her pussy is properly covered? Don't you think that might be an important one, considering our subject here? After the cut, see Britney Spears's pussy hanging out. Again. more »
I'd like to slam dunk her! (ding!)
Shirts Vs. Skins? (ding!)
These pictures will make you dribble! (ding!)
Can you palm your balls? (ding!)
And so forth. So go forth. After the cut, boobies!
Upon rising this morning, chances are you cursed this whole "spring forward" bullshit, but then you turned to more important topics: like old memaws showing off their private areas. Because everyone knows there's no better cure to a stilted night of sleep than seeing a wrinkly nipple or a saggy labia. It's better than a triple espresso spiked with cocaine. After the cut, see Pam Anderson's exposed breast and Nicollette Sheridan's hanging labia.
If you've seen the bulk of her filmography, you know that Nicole Kidman is no prude. Girl likes to take off her clothes. And she's not opposed to her husband taking off his, either. She approves of Keith Urban's pre-marriage nude pics for Playgirl magazine. She probably gushes over them, showing them off to her girlfriends, using vile words like "studmuffin" and "hunky". Says IMDb:
Nicole Kidman was "impressed" by her husband Keith Urban's steamy Playgirl shoot. Music star Keith posed for the adult magazine eight years ago, but Nicole only saw the revealing photographs recently.
He told Britain's New! magazine: "Nicole was impressed with the shots. It was spread over two pages and had staples in all the right places!"
Although the 41-year-old musician enjoyed stripping off for the publication, he is unsure if he will pose again because of his family commitments.
Keith - who has a seven-month-old daughter, Sunday Rose, with Nicole - said: "I am a dad and a totally different person now. But I might consider it if my fans demanded it!"
Keith Urban would pose nude again if his fans demanded it? That works? Because we've just about induced carpal tunnel syndrome writing letters to Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson demanding that they get naked. And all we ever get are stupid cease and desist letters.
We feel like Michelle Williams has been in a society-imposed state of mourning since Heath Ledger's death. As far as media coverage goes, she is to tragic early death what Jennifer Aniston is to a young trollop stealing your man: the sad, sad victim deserving of your pity. But enough already. Michelle needs to live, people. She needs to raise her daughter, fulfill her life's dreams, create long-lasting art, and, most of all, show off her boobies. Because after all, isn't that what living really means? And hot holy hell, does Michelle show off her boobies in Incendiary. She'll ignite a fire . . . in your pants . . . that you'll have to put out with your hand. Or something. Whatever. Just look at the tits. After the cut. more »
Freida Pinto. Her name sounds like she should be a dumpy hausfrau with yeast infections in her armpits, but she's the lovely star of Slumdog Millionaire, and she's looking sexy in GQ. (Anything Hollywood)
Take Jack Skellington, splatter him with mud, and strap two rubbers filled with Jello to his chest and whaddaya got? Topless Lindsay Lohan. That's a little harsh, and we are not the type to pooh-pooh a famous lady who takes naked pictures even while having nothing to promote--we don't look a gift yabbo in the mouth. Or the nipple. We're just longing for the halcyon days of Lohan's New York magazine naked shoot. The soft, womanly flesh. The healthy, glowing face. The full, pendulous tetherball chest. Lindsay, we're worried. Frankly, we're starting to think that maybe Samantha Ronson isn't such a great influence after all. The worst part of that is that it means we agree with Michael Lohan on something. We may as well start drawing cartoon renditions of Lindsay with Biblical undertones. Or wearing mesh shirts with Lee Relaxed Riders. After the cut: nip, sweet nip.
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Yesterday was a big day for oft-nude actress Kate Winslet: Mr Skin awarded her with his prestigious Lifetime Skinchievement Award, and with good reason. Kate's been naked in no less than ten films. That's a lot of bared flesh. But today we must bring you sad news. Knowing that she has now achieved the highest honor that can be bestowed upon naked nay-nays, Kate has vowed to put them away forever. After all, what more does she have to work for? Says IMDb:
Hollywood actress Kate Winslet fears she is getting a bad reputation for stripping off in her movies - and has vowed never to bare all on the big-screen again.
The British star is not afraid of going nude in front of the cameras - she has flashed the flesh in more than 10 films, including Titanic, Hamlet, and 2008's The Reader.
But she fears getting a reputation for baring all - and the Golden Globe winning star admits she is unlikely to strip off for a role again.
She tells Time magazine, "I think I won't. I can't keep getting away with it, and I don't want to become 'that actress who always gets her kit off'."
Maybe if Mr Skin invents a new, even more coveted award Kate will change her mind and reach for that brass ring by continuing to show off her things. But then again, chances are good that Kate will be taking home her first Oscar on Sunday, so maybe that's a milestone for her. Before Oscar: Whip 'em out often, and with great gusto. After Oscar: Be serious, demure actress who is always covered in corsets and lace. We say if it ain't broke don't fix it. If those knockers help her get that trophy, she best keep doing what she's been doinggetting naked.
We didn't report this yesterday when it broke because yesterday was Sunday. That's the Lord's day! And although today is a holiday, we are graciously eschewing from your raucous Presidents Day celebration--your pin-the-stovepipe-hat-on-the-Lincoln games and festive Dance of the Wooden Teeth--to humbly bring you news. News of Naomi Watts naked on a balcony, snapped while filming some movie called Mother and Child. Which is apropos since Naomi, nude as she is, just had a baby like 3 minutes ago and yet her 40-year-old postpartum body looks better than yours. Dig into the naked magic after the cut. It's the American thing to do. more »
Today is Friday the 13th. And that's scary! But tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And that's sweet! So let's embrace both sides with these pictures of Heidi Klum naked in German GQ magazine. She's pretty and she's without clothing. Sweet! But she has Joker lipstick and black fingernails. Grrr! Scary! You don't know whether or not to play with yourself or cry and wet your pants. Either way, you're 2 years old. Wow, this post just got extra sexy. Bare ass after the cut.
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Never-nude Elisha Cuthbert really doesn't like showing her cuthbutt or cuthboobs, and she's not afraid who knows about it. Lish talked about using a stunt rack with Complex magazine:
You dont do nudity but instead employ body doubles. Whats the process in selecting someone?
Elisha Cuthbert: Ive only had to do it twice. To be honest, it was really quick and pretty basic. I saw three girls and chose one out of the three. It wasnt a long, drawn-out process. Its not looking for someone [with] the perfect breasts. Nothing to do with that, really. I think its trying to find someone that looks natural, someone that looks good.
You mean someone who acts natural in front of a camera or someone, yknow, natural?
Elisha Cuthbert: You never see their face, right?
Sure, Elisha would seem like the best person to choose her own body double, since she knows what she looks like naked and the rest of us don't. But judging from this exchange, she doesn't put much heart into the choice. It's just sort of eenie-meenie-heinie-mo to her. What she should do is let someone else, someone deeply committed to movie nudity, see her naked and then choose the body double for her. And we're sure that, given the chance, we would choose an exact match for Elisha's boobs and butt. It would just be more authentic that way.
What's hotter than Pineapple Express star Amber Heard nude? How about Pineapple Express star Amber Heard nude while having her yabbos caressed by a dude who has a circa-1987-Martin-Gore-from-Depeche-Mode-coif? It doesn't quite have the same erotic charge as Pineapple Express star James Franco getting his nards caressed by a dude with Dave Gahan hair, but you can't win 'em all. So here's the red band trailer for the upcoming film The Informers. "Red Band" is another way to say "naked lady", so don't open this at work. Oh yeah, and the movie is an adaptation of a 1980s Bret Easton Ellis novel and in fact has nothing to do with Canadian rappers. However, it appears that she does get her boom boom lickied down. Choice!
Here at CelebNewsWire, we like our juicy gossip to be spaced out. Because if Britney Spears were to finally give in to the extreme hunger pangs she's been cultivating for the past few months and eat one of her Yorkies on the same day that Angelina Jolie announced that she was adopting the entire orphan population of Croatia and Paris Hilton's ass goiter finally exploded and a fully formed human head popped out, we wouldn't be able to handle it. Plus, we'd be assured of only crappy gossip for weeks to come. It would be all, "Hey, you can sort of see Lindsay Lohan's bra through that shirt," and Victoria Beckham's diet tips. So why today, when everyone's aflutter with the announcement of the Oscar nominations, do we see naked ladies everywhere we turn? Couldn't we have saved one or two for tomorrow? But no matter, if you want naked ladies, you'll get naked ladies. After the cut, see Gwyneth Paltrow nude in Two Lovers, Bond girl Olga Kurylenko nude in Ukrainian Maxim, and supermodel Helena Christensen nude . . . uh, somewhere. Click MORE and see bobbies! Yay! more »
Happy MLK Day! Although we're working today, we found our own way to celebrate: by looking at a picture of teenage naked Madonna. The pic is from the artsy series that appeared in Playboy back in the day, it's up for auction at Christie's and is expected to fetch around $15,000. Since Martin Luther King was all about equality and freedom, we think this Madonna photo sums that up pretty well. She's equal with Demi Moore's infamous Oui! photoshoot from the early '80s. And she's free. Oh, so free. Free from bathing. Free from razors. See it after the cut (pun intended right there). more »
There are a few different directions we could go here with these assgasmic Ziyi Zhang nude snaps. Crouching Actress, Non-Hidden Buttcrack. Crotching Swimsuit, Ridden Up. Slouching Bikini, Nicely Saggin'. Crowning Anus, Kissing Boyfriend. The hits (and naked tit) keep coming after the NSFW cut. more »
We are not even going to try to touch on Jett Travolta's sad death, because we haven't quite mastered the art of compassion and don't want to accidentally sound like assholes, so instead let's talk about Amy Winehouse naked! Weeeee! She sure does like flopping out her funbags lately. Perhaps it's part of her New Year's resolution. Instead of a nice sensible choice, like quit drugs or divorce slimy jailbird fucker or buy own toothbrush, it seems that Amy's ringing in the new year with as much toplessness as she can muster. And while we're usually all for the titty displays, we're just not feeling these. They're just so . . . Winehouse-ian. They make us sad. Sad for the state of humanity and sad that we can't muster some sexual excitement over the boobies of a crackhead. Maybe that should be our New Year's resolution: Learn to get aroused over the sight of naked crackhead ladies. After all, if Boyz N the Hood taught us anything, it's that they'll suck your dick for a dollar. After the cut, Wino's boobs. more »
It may seem that we discriminate in our coverage of celebrity nudity around here, but it's not intentional. Sure, the CelebNewsWire archives have many, many more shots of exposed nipples and beavers than wangs, but that's not by choice. No, we work with what we're given. And what we're given usually involves Britney Spears's vulva or Paris Hilton's assflap. When we do see a celebrity dick flopping about, we jump on it. Which we will now do with celebrity scion and D-list actor Scott Caan. After the cut, cock and balls.
After the cut, you will find pictures of a lady with Larry Fine hair, a grommet-bedecked hooker frock, and moon boots. "But CelebNewsWire," you cry in protest, "that is surely not a thing that I would enjoy looking at whilst touching my privates." What if we told you that the aforementioned begrommetted hooker frock was slipping aside to reveal an entire boob? Are you sold? How about if we told you that the lady in this questionable get-up was the incomparably foxy Halle Berry? You'll buy that for a dollar. Go! Look!
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Charlize Theron, she's not like your young American actresses, your Jessicas Biel and Alba who balk at onscreen nudity. She's from Africa, dammit, and it's hot there, so she's used to not wearing any clothes. In front of a movie camera or in front of your TV set, what's the difference, right? Another thing that separates Charlize from those prudy Yanks is that she gets good, high-profile parts and wins awards for them. Hmmmm. Coincidence? Probably not. This is how Hollywood works, people. Take off your top, you get good parts. Insist on body doubles and you'll forever be perceived as immature and unworthy of really meaty roles. Unless of course you're taking off your top in something like The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. That will just lead to taking off your top at Scores, which is a bit of a backwards move. But get ready to give Charlize another trophy (pssst, we mean your wiener), cause she busts out her yams bags in The Burning Plain. See the proof after the cut. more »
At this point, Jessica Biel in Powder Blue pretty much embodies the lyrics of the Waitresses' classic opus "I Know What Boys Like". She promises the goods, then shakes her head and never lets us, laughing "Hmm hmmm hmmm! Suckers." With yesterday's release of the Powder Blue trailer, hopes to see Jessica Biel nude were at an all time high. Today, hopes are dashed. Take it away, Daily Mail:
[Jessica Biel] is keen not to see her scantily-clad image exploited, and has signed a contract that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see.
The contract is said to ban shots of her breasts (nipples from the front and side) and her bottom (side view only) in the Crash-like ensemble drama Powder Blue.
A source told Us Weekly magazine that although the director will film scenes that are even more revealing, 'Jessica will decide if she wants to show anything additional'.
She's like Lucy and we're Charlie Brown. She holds that football and smiles sweetly and promises that this time, all will be well, and then when we go to kick that fucker she snatches it away. Only we wouldn't really kick Jessica Biel's tits. We'd pet them nicely and buy them sparkly baubles and tell them our hopes and dreams. Our greatest wishes and darkest fears.
Who can turn the world on with her ass? Who can take a nothing dress and suddenly make it seem bootyliciass? Well it's you, Jessica Biel, and you should know it. With each quiver and every junk jiggle you show it. That's right! Jessica Biel, possessor of one of the greatest rumble seats in recent history, has long been rumored to be going naked in her upcoming film Powder Blue. The trailer has just been released, and although we see neither hairpie nor hide of JB, everything looks promising. It's an artful trailer--the editor carefully balanced each boring scene with one of Biel writhing on a pole. Forest Whitaker looking pensive . . . Jessica Biel ass! Ray Liotta looking enraged . . . Jessica Biel in a bra! It goes on and on like such until the last 30 seconds, when they just said "fuck it" and turned it into a montage of Biel air-humping in her skivvies. SOLD!
Yay! Hermione Granger wants to show us her hairy pooter! Yes, we've seen it before, but not in front of a professional movie camera under good lighting. There is a catch though: She'll only strip on film if Bernardo Bertolucci is directing her. IMDb reports:
Harry Potter star Emma Watson is willing to strip naked on the big screen - as long as she is directed by acclaimed Italian filmmaker Bernardo Bertolucci.
The young actress, who stars as Hermione Granger in the box office blockbuster franchise, is on the lookout for new movie parts.
And Watson would be happy to bare all on screen for any roles offered her way - but would prefer Stealing Beauty director Bertolucci to be behind the camera.
Asked if she would be happy to reveal all she says, "Yes - for him. It depends. I'm not getting my kit off any time soon, but it is part of my job."
The good news is that Bernardo has written and directed some of the most erotic moments ever caught on film; the bad news is that he's 68 and hasn't made a movie in five years. C'mon, Bert, we know you have to have some half-finished scripts lying around that you can dust off just for Emma. Or if not, give Larry David a call; we bet Emma would be just perfect to finally bring Rochelle, Rochelle to the screen. It's only about two hops from Stealing Beauty to a young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.
December brings Santa Claus, the Hanukkah Fairy, the Kwanzaa Gnome, and another mysterious man bringing gifts to your home. Only these gifts are not wrapped boxes of Wiis or Barbies or chocolate gelt. These gifts are boobs. The man is Mr. Skin, and instead of cramming himself down your chimney, he's offering his year-end holiday treats in the form of an e-list depicting the Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2008! Who made the list? Mischa Barton? Maybe. The best part? You don't have to wake up early to unwrap it, nor is assembly required. You probably should wait until you're at your home, alone, before opening it. You know, because of boners and such.
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We've tried to watch 90210, but usually about halfway through an episode we'll start thinking about cleaning out closets or something. It's just that boring. Kelly and Brenda haven't even engaged in a little hair pulling. Nothing. And AnnaLynne McCord is supposed to be the villain, but the writers don't have enough balls to actually make her do anything evil. Maybe the whole writing staff needs to spend a week or two watching nothing but Days of Our Lives to get some inspiration. How about a class trip to some sort of island far off the coast where they're supposed to do something pseudo-educational like study rocks or some shit, but when they get there it's revealed that AnnaLynne's character has actually taken all of her classmates hostage and will force them to produce tropical-themed porno until she's rich enough to move to Dubai? There. CelebNewsWire is a TV writer. Can we have our really big check now? Anyway, the whole point of this is that AnnLynne, she of the annoying four capital letters, slipped some nip on set. Maybe if they could leave that in it would be worth tuning in. After the cut, nip. more »
We've seen a lot of naked celebrity body parts over the years. Nipples here, ass cracks there, and during the whole low-rise-jean phase there were a lot of stray pubes sticking out of waistbands. We thought that the wide open beavers of Britney, Lindsay, and Paris had made us forever immune to being shocked or titillated by celebrity genitals. Apparently we were wrong. Today we saw the royal rod of Prince William. And we felt dirty. But, you know, in a good way. That man will be fucking King of England some day. And we just saw his dick! That is some heavy shit right there. Although we're pretty sure that if the internet and paparazzi had existed in Henry VIII's time, he probably would have had his own live-sex webcam feed. After the cut, join in the fun and see Prince William's wang. And as a bonus, also catch an eyeful of the dongs of Billy Crudup and former MTV jagoff Jesse Camp. It's a invertible cockucopia around here. more »
It's big. It's fat. It's badonkulous. It may have been peed on. It's a force of nature. It's succulent and serves 12, like a honey ham at Easter. What can we say about Kim Kardashian's ass that hasn't been said? Well, we could say that it houses a small nest of weasels, or that it's a porthole to an alternate reality in which free will is the law, there is no right or wrong, and meatballs grow freely on trees. We could say that.
We could also say that she's showing a little crack in the following pictures, so if you're at work and your boss is behind you right now: YOUR EMPLOYEE IS LOOKING AT NAKED KIM KARDASHIAN ASS!!! FIRE THIS PERVERT IMMEDIATELY!
The Adrienne Bailon nude pics were faked, but that doesn't mean you can't still masturbate to them. The glass, it's always half full with us. (Pop on the Pop)
Kristen Bell bikini pics. Veronica Mars is out of this world! God, that was so clever!!!! (Egotastic)
We're old and out of touch--we think T.I. is the new Terminator movie and Audrina Patridge sings and plays tambourine next to Danny Bonaduce. So when we heard about a nude picture scandal involving a member of the Cheetah Girls, we just assumed it was a junior version of cougars. Like, 13-year-old girls who troll the action figure aisle at Kay Bee for 7-year-old guys. And we were kind of right--it's some Disney singing group that does movies of the same name. And one of the members, Adrienne Bailon, had some nude pics hamburgled off her laptop. TMZ reports:
It all started when Bailon was at JFK airport in late October, and noticed her laptop computer was missing from her bell cart. She filed a report but later that day received an anonymous phone call from a man saying he had her laptop and would return it for $1000.
A meeting was set up with the anonymous man, where he was given the money, and in turn gave up Bailons missing laptop except one minor thing was missing several semi-nude photos of Bailon she had taken as an anniversary present for BF Robert Kardashian.
Which we've graciously provided for you after the cut. It's like the Vanessa Hudgens nudes of yore, only with 80% less snatch and 150% more butt! more »
Kate Winslet: charming English rose. Speaker-outer against over-Photoshopping. Respected thespian. Owner of a really spectacular pooper. Kate is on the cover and inside the guts of the December issue of Vanity Fair. And if there's one thing Vanity Fair likes, it's naked butts. They're the Sir Mix-A-Lot of Conde Nast! What what in the butt after the cut cut.
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Once again: Steve Guttenberg. Running through the park. Without any pants. Surely this video is a hoax, but you still get to see Steve's hot ass bouncing away. Mmmmmm, Steve Guttenberg's ass. Just like you've always dreamed of. Just a little gift from CelebNewsWire to you. We truly are living the American Dream.
Jessica Biel recently admitted that she regretted the nippy shots taken of her when she was a teen. However, that's not stopping her from hauling them out for a victory lap in the upcoming movie Powder Blue. Though we've long speculated that Biel would debut de butt in the movie, she confirmed it in a curious interview with curiouser site Movies.ie:
Q: I assume you're still sticking to your policy of no nudity in the film? I heard you picked out your own body double for Nailed.
JB: "Yeah I did pick out my own body double. That was bizarre, that was very bizarre. It's very hard to be a woman and sort of be looking at women kind of like they're just objects. I was like, I'm kind of having a male experience right now.' It was weird. It wasn't the best thing I've ever done. Anyway, I actually didn't stick to that policy in this other film I did called Powder Blue.
Q: Where you played a stripper?
JB: "Yeah, I mean you change and you grow up and one moment it's right and another moment it's not right. I just take it project by project. It's all about what makes sense for the character and what makes sense for me."
They are going to have to hand out protective eyewear along with tickets for this movie, because the view of Jessica Biel's storied ass unfettered by clothing is like staring at the sun, or the visual equivalent of the siren's song. She'll step into the frame and a calming white light will beam out of her rectal cleft, blinding those without proper eye shields. Those who choose not to wear it will collapse into a screaming ball, rolling around on the theater floor, blinded but ecstatic over the indescribably anal beauty. more »
Why is Kate Hudson wearing a Naomi-from-Mama's-Family hat and a fishnet body stocking over her insanely scrumptious rumptious? For charity! In photographer Timothy White's latest endeavor, Hollywood Pinups, a bunch of dames like Kate, an errant Olsen, Tea Leoni, Susan Sarandon, Gina Gershon, Salma Hayek, and more more more wore little more than strategically-placed maribou feathers as they posed pinup style. Gosh, but that'll give a lift to our overseas soldiers. A lift on par with a lime phosphate, even if proceeds benefit world poverty and not war bonds. After the cut, prepare to toot your boogie woogie bugle to Angie Harmon's anus! more »
There are two basic ways to approach Halloween. One, you want to scare people, or at least impress people with how elaborate/creative/over-the-top your costume is. These are the Roseanne and Dan Conner types, who answer the door holding their own bloody severed head. Or two, you want to give men boners. There are the Paris Hilton/every bimbo in Hollywood/Wet Seal shopper types who stuff themselves into some get-up from Frederick's of Hollywood, slap on some kitten ears, and call it a costume. We see a lot more of the latter category in the celeb-watching blogosphere. Every year we see sexy firefighter, sexy police officer, sexy bumblebee, sexy librarian, we even once saw a sexy chihuahua. But there is one glaring exception to this sexy trend: supermodel Heidi Klum. It makes sense that someone who gets paid to look incredibly hot day after day would jump at the chance to ugly it up once a year. A sort of nice reverse dress up. This year Heidi added a few extra arms to portray the Indian goddess Kali. And while we wholly appreciate Heidi embracing Halloween's campier side, sometimes we just want to see boobies. So, after the cut, get a peek at Keeley Hazell's Halloween costume. And here's a secret: It doesn't include a shirt! more »
Guy Ritchie wastes no time--he's allegedly hooking up with actress Kelly Reilly, who has red hair and almost certainly does not resemble gristle. (Celebitchy)
Britney Spears debuts some dance moves, gives us a teasing slice of midriff. Oh, you little minx. (Cityrag)
WAG Amanda Carraway will get seedy for Playboy. Get it? Seed? Ha ha ha? Yes? (Hollywire)
Kim Kardashian gives boyfriend Reggie Bush some TLC in the hospital. TLC meaning Titanic Leviathan Can. (Bitten and Bound)
Former Atomic Kitten and present UK reality harlot Kerry Katona is very sober and articulate in a new interview. (The Blemish)
This one time, Alyson Hannigan stuck a flute up her pussy. And the flute got her pregnant! Mazel tov. (Pop on the Pop)
Nick Hogan's out of jail! Christ, we're SO EXCITED! Nick Hogan RULES! HE RULES!!!! (Derek Hail)
Remember how scandalized you were when you saw that tart Angelina Joliebreastfeeding a baby on the cover of W magazine? A magazine! That your children can see while you wait in line at the grocery store! They might as well put the Playboy centerfolds right on the newsstand, know whauhm sayin'? Save your disgusting bodily functions for the porno mags, sicko heathens. Well, anyway, hold onto your bonnets, because it's about to get way worse. And by that we mean nipples! Nudity! In a high-fashion magazine! Have you ever heard of such a thing? We are so appalled. So appalled that we are going to post the pics right here, on the front page. Because we may be prudes, but we're no fucking pussies.
Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart break up. Perhaps she woke up and realized, "I'm Natalie Portman. He's a hirsute twee gypsy who sings like a lamb with a barbed dildo up its butthole." (Celebrity Wonder)
Right now, Brad and Angelina's adopted kids are looking around their filthy French chateau and thinking, "Screw this, man, there were fewer flies back in Ethiopia, man." (CelebWarship)
Kirk Cameron will NOT kiss any woman other than his wife onscreen; WILL star in a sitcom in which his best friend is called "Boner". (Holy Taco)
Dear Kim Kardashian: God would not have dealt you that colossal can and made you mambo on Dancing with the Stars if He didn't want you to shake it like a bottle of salad dressing. Wake up, Kim! Look alive! (F-listed)
The Girls Next Door: the truth comes out. You mean three large-breasted blondes in their twenties AREN'T banging an octogenarian? (Pop on the Pop)
Have a gander at this picture of Mischa Barton in a London taxi last night. Look at the sticker placed over her boob. You may think that adhesive suggestion is asking one to not smoke cigarettes, but in actuality, that's a picture of a long nipple that is so very hot it is quite literally smoking. And Mischa, being the scofflaw that she is, deliberately thumbed her nose at England's archaic "no sexy nipples" rule and let hers pop out. Or maybe she was just wasted. Pics after the jump! more »
Hamsters. They're furry and fluffy. They're teeny. They have stubby little wiggly tails. They're good at hiding out of sight. Sure, they're cute, but it's not exactly a compliment when your dick is compared to one. Take it away Petco rodent-department employee of the month FemaleFirst:
Daniel Radcliffe's penis shrank "to the size of a hamster" when he appeared naked on stage.
The 'Harry Potter' star bared all for his role as a horse-obsessed stable boy in the London West End theatre production of 'Equus' - which he reprises on New York's Broadway from next week - but admits his nerves caused him an embarrassing problem on the opening night.
He said: "You tighten up like a hamster. The first time it happened, I turned around and went, 'You know, there's a thousand people here and I don't think even one of them would expect you to look your best in this situation.' "
We're trying to find a positive angle here to comfort young Radcliffe, but we're having a hard time. No wait, not a hard time; rather, our efforts are limp, flaccid, minuscule. What can we say to reassure the young lad after a theater full of people saw his dangling member retreat back into his body as if it were Osama Bin Laden taking cover in his cave? At least it wasn't the size of a cockroach? It just doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
So the other day, Jessica Simpson appeared on Good Morning America and gave a really smelly performance in which she said, "Hold up, I know this is live TV but I can't hear a thing" and then started the song again. It was basically like her sister Ashlee's SNL gaffe only with less lip syncing and acid reflux and more country warbling about jeans-wearing. Oh, and ass. Way more ass. After the cut, dive into some accidental nude butt.
So you wanna see Lindsay Lohan's lung balloons again, do ya? Well, sorry buddy, but you're plum outta luck. Apparently lesbianism has made LiLo less of an exhibitionist. What a gyp. According to Page Six:
IT'S once nude, twice shy for Lindsay Lohan. The Sapphic-leaning star has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page topless spread in Playboy's 55th-anniversary issue this January. "If there's nudity, then the answer's no . . . She's not going down the [New York] magazine road again," Lohan's rep told Playboy's creative consultant, Hal Lifson, referring to Lindsay's naked Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter. Lifson said he hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to '60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film "Kitten With a Whip," which is one of Lohan's faves.
So let's get this straight: Lindsay, who once was worth a "poor" and "disgusting" seven million dollars and has went through multiple pricey rehab stints since then without raking in much more cash through a little thing called "work", was willing to show off pretty much everything but her pee hole for free in New York magazine but won't repeat the effort for Playboy for $700,000? Is she so ashamed of her former red-headed, freckled self that she's unwilling to recapture the look in tribute to Ann-Margret? Or is she just relying on little sis Ali paying the bills from now on? Cause that doesn't seem like a very solid plan. more »
Keira Knightley was attacked by a wandering expletive-spewer and lived to tell the tale. (Yeeeah!)
Being the concubine of Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood is used to standing next to undead ghouls, so she looks right at home beside Mickey Rourke. (CelebWarship)
Hilary Swank will gain 30 pounds for a movie role. Which is cool because we also plan on gaining 30 pounds, basically because Totino's Pizza Rolls are on sale at Safeway. Solidarity! (Daily Stab)
Those Harry Potter kids. Everyone says, "Oh, they're so grounded. They don't blow their money on coke and hookers and $500 flannel shirts like those frivolous Hollywood types. They're so sensible." But between Hermioneflashing her golden snitch the moment she turned eighteen to Harry porking a horse onstage, they have their own way of rebelling. And now part-time Good Humor man Ron Weasley (a.k.a. Rupert Grint) is jumping on the naked Harry Potter hippogriff wagon and doing the nasty onscreen. Reports PR Inside:
Steamy new sex scene for our Ron Weasley has been filmed for his new movie hitting theaters January 2009.
Looking to move on from Harry Potter, British actor Rupert Grint (best known for playing Ron Weasley) has stepped into a very challenging role in new indie film "Cherry Bomb".
Having filmed a sex scene with fellow co-star Kimberley Nixon, actor Rupert Grint is expected to shock audiences with his new role.
We can just imagine Rupert on set, trying to remember being back in Charms class. "How does the swelling charm go again? Injorgio? Engigolo? OH! Engorgio! Engorgio! Engorgio!"
You know what, girls? You should get naked. Because if you don't, some day you're going to find that you really, really love Boston cream pie to the point that your ass will begin to jiggle like your foodstuff of choice and you'll regret the fact that the whole damn world didn't see every single inch of you when you were hot. Just ask Jennifer Love Hewitt. She's kicking herself right now, muttering, "Why wasn't I naked? Why wasn't I naked? I'm such a dummy dummy dum-dum!" She told Health magazine (via People):
I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great!
I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, 'No, I feel fat today!' Now the joke's on me.
I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer, because there will be that one day in your twenties when you'll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg.
It's too bad Health didn't have the balls to print the rest of JLoHew's statement: "And you know what else? Since you're already going to be naked all the time, you should have as much sex as possible. With men and women. Strangers, friends, brothers-in-law, whatever. Just do it now while you look good, because once you've got saddle bags, you're not going to want to ever take off your bathrobe." more »
And now what you've all been waiting for: hot hot sexy totally hot Harry Potter nudity! England really is liberated, isn't it? According to Cinematical:
Okay. I know that fandom usually leads to fanfic stories that center on a million different sexual scenarios, but what's with the Harry Potter nudity? If Ace Showbiz has it right, Daniel Radcliffe is stripping once again, but this time it isn't for a disturbing play about horses. It's for Harry Potter.
Yes, they report that the almost-20-year-old will strip down for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Radcliffe is quoted as saying: "At first I thought I'd have pants [underwear] on for the scene. Apparently not. But I've sort of done that before on stage. It's all old hat now, really."
We can see it now: Harry will be alone in the woods after a nasty run in with a snark-eyed squaggle and he'll slowly strip off his claw-slashed shirt to dress his wounds by a stream. Oh, this water is warm! It would be so nice to take a bath. And what's this? Some helpful traveler left a bar of Irish Spring and loofah on that shiny rock over there. So Harry starts to peel off his pants, slowly, as not to aggravate his wounds, and then his Fruit of the Looms, as the camera pans in for a nice brown-eye close-up. Oh, wait, that's the plot of Hairy Squatter Spits Not Swallows, direct-to-DVD October '08. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, on the other hand, will probably have the cinematic equivalent of those "racy" "shocking" Miley Cyrus pics, and every Wal-Mart shopper in all of Whoville will be outraged.
Whoa, PETA really knows how to get a message across. Finally! Finally, we get to see Jenna Jameson naked! You know, we were planning on keeping our gerbil's nuts intact but after seeing one sixth of a porn star's right breast we're totally changing our minds. Thanks, PETA!
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Megan Fox knows that she can make men do just about anything. Make her loverman ditch his beloved pooch just because she wants newer, fluffier ones? Sure thing. Make hoards of male viewers pay to see a movie written by Diablo Cody just because she maybe might be sorta kinda naked in it? Of course. Make any man shove a broken PBR bottle up his ass just because she thinks she might find it amusing? Probably. First, about the bitch (via Celebitchy):
Megan Fox has fiance Brian Austin Green on such a short leash that shes forced him to give up his best friend - his beloved dog Macy!
Megan claimed she felt threatened by Macy, but that dog was a sweetheart. She wouldnt hurt a fly, divulged an insider.
Brian adored Macy and refused to give her up for the longest time, but Megan nagged him about it until he finally gave in. He was crushed.
[Brian] adopted 3-year-old Macy, a mastiff-pit bull mix, when she was 3 months old - around the same time he and Megan, 22, began living together, according to sources.
After adopting the dog, 35 year-old Brian enrolled her in rigorous training courses at the Hollywood Dog Training School
Macy was really mellow and well-behaved, the source added. Whenever Brian went out of town hed board Macy at the training school.
The trainers were shocked when Brians assistant came in one day and said Brian was being forced to give Macy up for adoption because Megan didnt get along with her.
Right after Brian gave Macy up for adoption, Megan adopted two tiny dogs.
We're pretty sure BAG would cut off his own nads with a pair of pinking shears if Megan asked him to, so this doesn't surprise us. What does surprise us? We won't see even a sliver of Megan's maracas in the upcoming flick Jennifer's Body, as that pasties-and-flesh-colored-panties scene so lovingly captured by the paps a few months ago has been cut. Also cut? Men's nads. From their bodies. With pinking shears. At least that's what it feels like knowing Megan Fox naked is now even farther out of reach. more »
James Franco took a little time out from making his weed face to talk to Jimmy Kimmel about how much Sean Penn dug Franco's donkey dong while they were filming the Gus Van Sant-directed Harvey Milk biopic Milk. Too bad Penn didn't know the frankfurter was a fakie. Franco explained to Kimmel (transcribed by Towleroad):
When I read the script, there was like, one kissing scene. No problem. It's acting....So, but as soon as I signed on I get a new script. Page five, like, full-on love scene. There's like three to five new love scenes in the movie. Gus! What's goin' on? And he said, well, Sean wants it. Sean asked for the love scene.
Sean's doin it. If he wants to do it, who am I to say no? So the first day of shooting I had to do this scene where everybody else is in clothes and I have to dive into the pool naked. And I was very uncomfortable but the make-up artist on the day handed me this prosthetic penis and said here, you can wear this. It'll make you more comfortable...The scene went on for a long time, like half the day. It's just getting old diving into this pool naked. And I go over to Sean and I guess he didn't know I was wearing a prosthetic. And I said to Sean, 'You are such a great actor. You wouldn't do a scene like this if they asked . You wouldn't dive into the pool naked,' and he said, not knowing I was wearing a prosthetic he said, 'Well James, if I was built like you, I would.' I didn't say anything. Cut to a couple weeks later we did this scene. We're both dancing and we're both naked, and we both now had prosthetic penises. He finally put it together that I'm wearing the Boogie Nights prosthetic. And he said 'James that time in the pool!' And I said 'Yeah I was wearing the prosthetic.' And he said 'God, I'm so relieved.' And then, he's like 'You show me your prosthetic, I'll show you mine.'
We're kind of surprised that Penn wasn't able to spot the stand-in schlong immediately. We would have thought that he would have ample rubber ramrod experience after being married to Madonna.
Nip slips are cool and all, but what about those of us who long for symmetry in our accidental celebrity nudity? It's like having a Shirley without a Laverne. A Lenny without a Squiggy. A . . . Carmine without . . . a . . . Edna Babish? So that's why anal retentive weirdos the world over are falling in love with Lily Allen today, a young lass who slips one nipple, then balances things out by slipping the other one an hour later. After the cut, the yin and yang of Lily Allen's cans will align your qi. more »
After yesterday's seemingly endless onslaught of topless supermodels, today seems like a total letdown. Then again, after a one-two knockout of Klum/Crawford boobs, anything short of Gisele's labes pressed against our monitor is a drag. So here. Here, enjoy this vintage David LaChapelle shoot of naked Christina Aguilera, undies-clad Pamela Anderson, and a bunch of other people that's making the e-rounds this morning. We're assuming they're styling this to ape Andy Warhol's Factory, but to our knowledge, none of the Factory regulars in 1965 had silicone breast implants the size of tetherballs. After the cut, Christina's soup cans! more »
"Oh, you think you can take off your bikini top in a glamorous locale with photographers snapping away? You think you can get away with that, Cindy Crawford? Well, guess what, trick. It's judgment day. Ka-BOOM! Want a big plate of spδtzle? Off comes MY bikini top. You like that, Crawford? I'll show you what supermodel shirt-suckers are all about! You're OUT! YOU'RE OUTTTT!"
There's a naked lady named Heidi Klum after the cut. Take heed. more »
Cindy Crawford is from De Kalb, IL, and says that in high school she had a job shucking corn. Which must be the reason she's so skilled at shucking other things. Like her bikini top. Would you like to sink your teeth into Cindy's buttery kernels? Stick your prongs into her cob? Uh . . . take a . . . Halloween tour through . . . her. . . corn maze? Clicky past our cut.
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The FBI are a pretty sick bunch. Not only have they been spending their lunch breaks huddled around lovely young actress Anne Hathaway's Lisa Frank rainbow diary, they decided that they needed some visuals to go along with the entries about which Sprouse twin is cuter: Cole or Dylan. Because they raided a storage locker belonging to her nogoodnik ex, Raffaelo Follieri. And came up with some naked pics of the actress. According to the Enquirer (via Celebitchy):
The Enquirer has learned exclusively that her ex-lover Raffaello Follieri took naked photos of the actress. Follieri was arrested June 24 and charged with 11 counts of fraud and money laundering.
In additional to the naked photos he took of Anne, 25, he also prized a sizzling photo of her in black fishnet stockings, a garter belt and bustier that totally exposed her top. Follieri, 30, supposedly paid a very famous photographer to take that steamy shot.
The Enquirer learned that just recently, Annes brother Michael tried to gain access to a hidden storage room in the Bronx where Follieri had storied some of his and Annes belongings after he moved out of his apartment.
Michael went to the storage facility, but was told he was a day late. The day before (July 15), FBI agents had removed numerous documents, photos and what were believed to be Annes diaries from the storage room. Michael was told that he could not get into the room or take anything out.
Man, that must have been a hard call for Anne. "Allow my naked pictures to fall into the hands of the Feds OR give them to my brother?" It would be a tough decision for anyone. Anyone except for Zeus and Hera! Hahahaha! Or perhaps Freyr and Freyja, amIright? Or how about Nephthys and Set? That Nephthys, what a little minx! Man, when it comes to comedy, just go with the classics: farting, slipping on banana peels, and incest in Egyptian folklore. Take my high priestess, please! more »
Remember oh so long ago, way before we had seen Sienna Miller's blammos in public here and here and probably a couple of hundred other times that we've since forgotten, remember how Sienna was filming a movie where she was supposed to be some sort of nude hippielove goddess but she insisted on meticulously trimming her vadge hairs in very un-'60s fashion? Remember that? Well, enjoy the manicured pube trail while you can, because it's getting covered up by cartoon cooch fuzz. Our favorite gossip comedian, FemaleFirst, brings us one of the best stories we've heard in weeks:
Sienna Miller had her private parts digitally enhanced for her new movie.
The 26-year-old actress had to have pubic hair added by computer wizard for some scenes in her new film 'Hippie Hippie Shake'.
In the movie, Sienna plays Louise, the girlfriend of publisher Richard Neville, who was heavily involved in London's party scene during the 60s.
A studio source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "The film is set in the swinging 60s when fashion was wild and body hair even wilder. Unfortunately, Brazilian waxes weren't common in the 60s and Sienna's part involved one or two nude scenes - meaning that her grooming habits were on display. A merkin [pubic wig] simply wouldn't have done the trick, but luckily computer wizardry came to the rescue.
"Sienna's private parts were enhanced, giving her a rather unruly bush. All the cast had a good giggle about it and stoical Sienna happily played along."
A Brazilian is a method of pubic waxing where almost all hair is removed.
Gee thanks, FF, for telling us the precise definition of Brazilian. And here we always thought it had something to do with Gisele Bundchen. Anyway, we've always known that CGI was useful for more than deflating Lindsay Lohan's casabas and de-Kabbalah-fying Ashton Kutcher. And, you know, blowing shit up and making monsters and all that shit the kids love these days. CGI allows lazy actresses to give period-appropriate furburger footage without having to stuff a fluffy muff into their panties every morning. Yay technology! more »
Hi, I'm Mischa Barton. You might remember me from such CelebNewsWire stories as "Puff Puff Pass Bust Oops", "Poke-a-hot-ass Boots", "Hey, Here's My Ass", and "Just Try O.B. and You'll See". You've seen me pretty naked around here. The wind blowing my skirt up, my T&A in Closing the Ring, and the nip slips, my God, the nip slips! So it comes as no surprise that I am topless in the new issue of Nylon. Sure, my nipples are obscured by a thick swath of fashion's priciest denim, in vest form, but hey, that means these CNW people don't have to hide me under a cut, right? Stare, my minions. Stare into my chestal region. Stare, and you shall forget all about my weedy missteps and the fact that the largest, leatheriest, swinginest ballbag in America used to often rest upon my clavicle.
Wanna see Pam Anderson naked? Just tell Tommy Lee you really dig his tats, and he'll show you some awesome pics. Our personal cell-phone service provider, FemaleFirst, reports:
Tommy Lee has naked pictures of Pamela Anderson on his cell phone.
The rocker, who reconciled with ex-wife Pammie last month, is said to be so smitten with the sexy actress he happily shows the photos to his pals.
A friend of Tommy revealed: "Tommy is as proud to be Pammie's man as he was when they first got together. Pammie may be 41 but she still looks every inch the Playboy bunny she was and Tommy has the proof.
"If you're really nice to him, apparently he'll even show you!"
Yeah, and we're sure when Tommy whips it out (we mean his cell phone, of course) and says, "Dude, check this out. It's Pam. And she's NAKED!" the inevitable response is, "We know Tommy; we've seen it. We saw it when you had sex-tape Thursday in your media room, we saw it when we went into your guest bathroom with the Playboy wallpaper, and we saw it when you started sucking on her nipples while we were trying to eat our Blooming Onion at Outback last week. We don't want to see Pam's tits anymore. Put them away." more »
Actor and oil heir Balthazar Getty is, indeed, drilling Sienna Miller and spewing forth gusher after gusher. The very married father of four vehemently denied that he and Miller were a couple previously; however, these pictures were taken over the weekend of them frolicking like a couple of nympho unicorns on a yacht off the Italian coast. But you know what? On second thought, maybe Balthy is telling the truth. After all, what do we have to go on here? A guy, minus his wife, minus his four kids, the youngest of which is eight months old, on a vacation with an actress. Who he's hugging and kissing and feeling up. And who is naked. Mere speculation, friends. All circumstantial. Hogwash, really. After all, that totally wasn't R. Kelly peeing on that little girl.
Sienna boobs and men who love them. After the cut. more »
Young actresses today seem to make a huge deal out of any sort of onscreen nudity. Jessica Alba's going to show a bare shoulder in a blurry long shot? Sacre bleu! It's something she would talk about for at least three months, saying how difficult it was to reveal such a personal part of herself and how much she's sacrificed for her art. That's why we love our mamas a bit more mature. Like Julianne Moore. If someone asks her about the "sacrifice" of filmed flesh, she'd likely say: "I'm naked. Big deal. Can we talk about something a bit more interesting, like Amy Winehouse?" According to IMDb, Moore won't let a few extra candles on her birthday cake stop her from hauling out her hooters:
I try not to worry about it or think that there's any limit. But as for actually being comfortable in my own skin, I don't think anybody is ... it's not possible to feel good about yourself at all times.
That's the kind of thing we like to hear, especially from a russet-maned beauty whose skin looks like it was crafted by Wedgewood. We think that Julianne making such bold statements as "Nudity is neat-o" while the young'uns of Hollywood complain about how they're being exploited is kind of like your dad saying to you, "Grow up and get a job already, you lazy-ass namby-pamby." more »
And now that we've pumped up your boner with talk of naked Julianne Moore, we're going to give you a metaphorical kick in the nuts to deflate it. You will never, ever see Rihanna's rib cushions, not even in one of those lame "See Rihanna Topless" teases you see in FHM or some such. And all because her mama's a big ol' prude. According to The San Francisco Chronicle:
R&B star Rihanna has vowed never to pose for a naked photo shoot, because her mother would "kill" her.
Although the singer has proved she isn't shy about shedding her clothes in the name of work - she appeared wearing just gold body paint for her 2007 "Umbrella" video - she refuses to strip off for a magazine.
She tells MTV.co.uk, "My mother would kill me if I posed nude!
"When I did that metallic body paint stuff for my "Umbrella" video, I didn't do it to show my body. I didn't do it for people to like me. I did it because it was a cool visual, unexpected, and it looked hot.
"I have done a lot of photo shoots for magazines but it's always great to be shot for a cover because you know that you are looked at as a fashion icon."
There comes a time in every young girl's life when she has to say, "You know what, Mom? You're not the boss of me. I can do whatever I want to do!" For some girls this means smoking, for others it means dating a leathered biker named Hound Dog. Rihanna should consult these girls and learn to embrace her womanly independence. The only way you're going to stick it to mama and all her "rules" is to let those funbags fly, honey. more »
What do you get when you cross Ronnie Spector, a nineteenth century English bootblack, an east L.A. chola, a half-empty bottle of peach brandy, and Flo from the 1980s sitcom Alice? Amy Winehouse, of course. Our favorite shy violet lets loose today with a cavalcade of entertainment so extensive that we're forced to use bullets to organize everything!
The night before last, the beloved songstress hit the town sporting a new look. Fear not--the giant hair bubble and panda eyeliner was still firmly in place--the look we speak of was south of the border. Although she was wearing her trademark gold belt, her shorts slipped down to show some coin slot and a hearty swath of pubes. It's our hope that she's taking "the carpet matches the curtains" to the extreme and will get a merkinhive. Dive into Wino's drawers and check out the pics at DrunkenStepfather.
And she's addicted to a new substance! You might have heard of it. It's called Hawaiian Tropic. The Sun reports that Amy can't get enough of the tanning bed she's had installed in her home:
Rehab singer Amy, 24, even dozes off under the ultraviolet lamps, which release the same type of harmful radiation found in sunlight.
One friend said: Amy cant do anything by halves. Recently she has been going for it on the sunbed, but she wont be told. She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin.
Nothing covers up scabs quite as good as melanoma! Yes, friends, when it comes to masking impetigo and cocaine pickings, Cover Girl concealer can't hold a candle to Mohs surgery!
And finally, last night Amy and her entourage escaped the clutches of Mitch Winehouse and headed to the Dublin Castle Pub, where Amy proceeded to get well into her cups, call a random man a "wanker", and cold cock him in the face. The punchee, Wayne Lindsay, says:
"She was in front of me at the bar and suddenly turned and smacked me three times across the face. It really stung. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't said a word to her or touched her . . . She was wild. She just flipped. It was as if she had voices in her head."
Considering the height of her beehive lately, we'd say it's likely she literally had voices in her head. Voices of a family of rats that have taken residence inside her hairdo. Like Ratatouille! Only with crack instead of herbs de Provence.
Between posting pictures of Lindsay Lohan with Samantha Ronson and now Ellen Degeneres with femme friend Portia de Rossi, CelebNewsWire is quickly becoming LesbianCoupleWire. The next time you come here, the background will be rainbow flags and there will be a nice Joan Armatrading midi playing. For now, please enjoy these pictures of Portia and Ellen on vacation, especially because Portia felt the need to go topless (pics after the cut) to sun her microscopic mams. Talk about Arrested Development. Hi-yooooooo!
July 4th weekend has drawn to a close. It's a celebration of all things American: hot dogs, bottle rockets, saluting. In other words, erect penises. A weekend of metaphorical erect penises. GQ magazine knows a thing or two about boners, and so to further illustrate everyone's love for the USA, they provided many pictures of swimwear model Marisa Miller in various states of undress. It's weird that Uncle Sam and the bald eagle are the symbols of America, when our currency and flag really should just depict naked Marisa Miller biting into a freakishly big corn dog next to the Washington monument while in the background, Rambo stabs Saddam Hussein's corpse with a light saber on top of a monster truck. And Hot Pockets should probably be involved somehow, but we haven't really worked out the fine print yet.
When we think "serious thespians Paul Walker and Jessica Alba in Into the Blue," obviously we also think "sequel!" But in the grand tradition of taking a mildly successful film, not coughing up enough cash to get its stars to return, and instead packing it with boobies (i.e., Poison Ivy 2 and Cruel Intentions 2), Into the Blue 2 will make sure it has a couple of bouncing buoys to grab your attention. Egotastic brings us the poop from a somewhat dubious source:
I can't find the original article, so I'm not 100% sure on this one, but according to National Ledger (ever the bastion of journalistic integrity), Star magazine is reporting that we will see Audrina Patridge topless in her new movie Into the Blue 2. The report also indicates that we will soon see pictures of Audrina nude on the set, but I think that's a stretch.
"Audrina will keep the buzz of her cleavage going this summer with more nude pictures from the set of a film she is working on. According to a report from Star magazine, Audrina will be taking it all off again in the film. The scandal from March has not dissuaded the 23-year-old from stripping it off and the magazine is reporting that is what she will be doing during the filming Into The Blue 2.
"Star Magazine is reporting that it has learned Audrina will have a topless scene in the movie (where she plays Kelsey and stars along side Laura Vandervoort). 'The script calls for a moment where Audrina takes off her bathing-suit top for two seconds,' a source tells the magazine. 'Still, she's a little nervous, because she wants to be seen as a serious actress.'"
Unless you're a big Andrew Lloyd Webber fan (and those guys usually don't like boobies, as our readers obviously do), you're probably not too familiar with Emmy Rossum. We bet you've seen her though. She seems to show up at every event with a red carpet where anything with sequins and a flowing skirt is acceptable attire. She's generally pretty yet forgettable, with wide eyes that suggest she's just witnessed Amy Winehouse snorting dried feces out of a human skull, and skin so porcelain you almost expect to see some carrot sticks churning through the digestion process beneath it. But hopefully we'll get to see Emmy's more external organs before long. Our own personal internist, FemaleFirst, reports:
Emmy Rossum has no problem appearing nude on the big screen.
The 21-year-old actress - who shot to fame when she starred as Christine in 2004 musical adaptation 'The Phantom of the Opera' - would be prepared to strip off in a movie but would never agree to bare all.
She said: "I wouldn't rule out doing a nude scene, but I don't think I could ever do full-frontal. That's probably the one thing I couldn't do. Touch wood."
Wait, we're confused. What's the one thing she won't do, go full frontal or touch wood? We guess we'll have to wait for Emmy's career to wane from the great heights relative obscurity it now inhabits and see if she gives up a bit of bush or just goes topless while touching a big boner.
Unless you live in England (and we bet you don't, as in our mind England is filled with only stuffy old professors in tweed suits who smoke pipes and half-toothless paupers who are constantly uttering "guv'nor", and there's probably not much overlap with our readers in those categories) you most likely don't know who Billie Piper is. So think back a week or two to when every website you visited was about 30% actual content and 70% ads featuring Mary-Louise Parker watering her pot leaf and some chick in a giant martini glass. Billie is that chick. And being British, she doesn't conform to one of America's deepest-held traditions--the perpetually clothed, virginal prostitute/stripper. She actually gets naked in the TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl! And now she thinks it might ruin her career, silly girl. According to WENN:
British actress Billie Piper fears her recent role as a high-class prostitute will damage her career prospects in Hollywood - because A-list stars never commit to on-screen nudity.
The former Dr. Who star plays the lead role in recent TV drama The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, which follows the exploits of an upmarket hooker living in London.
And now Piper fears the show - which aired in the U.S. earlier this month - may affect her chance of carving out a movie career because of the rife nude scenes.
She says, "Someone said to me the other day, 'What A-list stars get their tits out?' And then I started thinking, 'Oh my God, what have I done? I've ruined my future career!'
"You know, you get photographed on the beach topless. After all, they're only breasts."
We at CelebNewsWire have made no bones (that's a clever play on words, just wait and see) about the fact that we don't believe Orlando Bloom has genitals. Like a wood sprite or that gnome that scared the Argentinians, he has no need for carnal pleasures when he can make merry in a meadow or drink morning dew out of a lily of the valley. Today we come one step closer to realizing our hypothesis, as Orlando and his girlfriend, Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr, are snapped sunbathing half naked on a balcony. Our suspicions about his groin area still aren't confirmed, but the oddly smooth, plasticine buttocks certainly help. Though the absence of pan pipes and curled-toe shoes is troubling. After the cut, see Orlando's ass . . . oh, and Miranda Kerr's boobs. If you're into topless lingerie models or something.
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Today we've got a bit of a Sienna Miller grab bag for you. First she talks about her boobs. Then she talks about her boobs some more. OK, so we guess it's not really a grab bag. Unless by "bag" we mean "nutsack". If that's the case, then Sienna Miller talking about her titties is most definitely a grab bag. Our own personal breast specialist, FemaleFirst, reports:
Sienna Miller burnt her boobs while making her new movie.
The 26-year-old actress revealed the accident happened when she was filming a stunt for action blockbuster 'G.I. Joe'.
She revealed: "I had every intention of working out but it just didn't happen - I've never been to the gym.
"I got burnt boobs, I ran the wrong way under an explosion. It was my own fault, I'm clumsy, there's a little scar."
Sienna - who stripped off in 'Factory Girl' and the forthcoming 'Hippie Hippie Shake' - also admitted she finds nude scenes uncomfortable because of "perverts" on set.
She added: "The damage is done, everything'sbeenseen! It's a little bit awkward at the time. There's the odd perve in the corner."
Because this is Sienna Miller here, and the total wardrobe cost for the duration of her career thus far has been about $87, we're assuming that Sienna's boobs were burnt because she was running away from an explosion in the nude, in slow motion. We're also assuming that particular scene will eat up at least 40 minutes of screen time, which will help G.I. Joe beat every single box-office record in history. Yea for Sienna's scones! more »
Ol' Tits Knightley, oh, how we've missed you. Sure, Keira Knightley has been out and about, hanging with right old chap Rupert Friend and practicing her pronunciation of 'enry 'iggins, but we haven't heard her wax poetic on her most favorite subject--tits--in quite some time. But now that she's set to once again bare her "two aspirins on an ironing board" in the upcoming Dylan Thomas biopic The Edge of Love, it's time to talk titties. According to IMDb:
Keira Knightley didn't hesitate when she was asked to bare her breasts in new movie The Edge Of Love - because she believes sex scenes are more believable when performed by naked actors.
The 23-year-old actress has no qualms about appearing in the buff, insisting nudity has even become a habit of hers.
She tells People magazine, "I always bare my breasts. It's not like it's only in this film!"
So when Edge Of Love filmmaker John Maybury requested her to remove her bra, she was happy to oblige: "I said, 'All right then.'
"It was very simple. It was a sex scene and I never like them when they've got bras on."
This is exciting and all, but we get the impression that The Edge of Love can't possibly live up to our lofty expectations. It stars Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller. And they do it! In our minds we're pretty much imagining a Misty Mundae movie, with Keira and Sienna completely naked and bumping boobies in the Welsh countryside for roughly 89% of the film. But then we watched the trailer. It's a bit more Jane Austen with Wellies than Jesse Jane. Maybe next time, girls.
Lindsay Lohan has pulled a Heigl and withdrawn her name from the Emmy race. To which the Emmy panel said, "OK. Sounds good. Who's Lindsay Lohan?" (Celebitchy)
Mickey Rourke takes his new face out to ogle some gay stripper's grape-smugglers. (Yeeeah!)
Keanu Reeves is seeing China Chow. You're also seeing China Chow. Seeing her topless, that is. In related news, China Chow is not kibble for Chinese people that comes in a 15 lb bag. Who knew? (Taxi Driver)
Jennifer Lopez and Unfrozen Caveman Husband take their spawn out for some fresh air. (Faded Youth)
Forget danceoffs; Mel B is getting her revenge on Eddie Murphy with an album called Beverly Hills Cock. That sounds nice. (Daily Stab)
Gisele Bundchen speaks highly of beau Tom Brady; says he "doesn't have a bad bone in his body." That's right, because his bad bone is in YOUR body. Swish! (CelebWarship)
Boil some water and get some clean sheets--Britney's on her way to Lousiana to be there for Jamie-Lynn's birthin'! Wait a minute, we're talking about Spearses. Boil some Diet Mountain Dew and get some dirty sheets! (The Hollywood Gossip)
It's well documented that we here at CelebNewsWire are not the biggest Denise Richards fans. But we are also professionals who are willing to set aside our personal feelings when faced with hard news. Oh, wait, we meant "faced with hard penises." Because Denise Richards showing off her sacks for Playboy has a lot more to do with hard penises than hard news. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Denise Richards is considering another romp for Playboy magazine.
The sexy star bared all for the men's magazine in 2004 and now her marriage to Charlie Sheen is over, the actress is thinking about making a return.
She tells AOL.com, "It's still a possibility. It's so iconic and fun."
And Richards admits she quite liked the attention she got after posing naked for the publication four years ago.
She adds, "I think that my niche is as a sex symbol. I'm never going to be the girl next door, so why not play up my niche?"
Holy shit, she's planning on showing her niche? That's awesome. We thought we'd only get tits.
And to verify that Denise likes you looking at her hooters, here she is admiring herself on MrSkin.com:
Model Helena Christensen is perhaps best known for getting well-exfoliated by Chris Isaak in his "Wicked Game" video. These days, she doesn't do much modeling, but she does do Paul Banks from Interpol. The couple recently enjoyed a vacation in Miami, and some pictures of them sunbathing topless emerged, which presented a terrific opportunity to teach you kids about cause and effect. Pay attention!
Cause:
Aaaaaaand effect:
After the cut, enjoy some Helena boobs and you might just be wearing the same look of utter, nard-cupping contentment as ole Paul there.
Man, what an erotic day today is. It's so erotic! It's dripping with chocolate sauce and ice cubes and personal massagers and Sade records. And the rippling undercheeks of Grey's Anatomy actress Kate Walsh. Follow the bouncing cut and become one with the wind that blew up her skirt yesterday. more »
Being Americans and all, we're not exactly sure what this Nuts magazine is all about. Going by the title, one might assume that it was a testicle fetish thing, but using our amazing powers of deduction, we can infer it's mostly about Keeley Hazell's gargantuan breasts. Thus, they should call it Chest Nuts. Or maybe Cat Fancy, that's a nice name.
Step into the cut to fill your eyes with front butt! more »