filed under: celebrity breakups
July 03, 2008
Megan Fox Bags BAG

When you're the bitchy rival in a little-seen
Lindsay Lohan joint that features a mash-up of Eliza Doolittle and David Bowie (seriously), getting engaged to a former teen soap star/once aspiring white rapper seems like a good idea, a possible career boost. But once you've starred in a huge
Michael Bay movie opposite
Shia TheBeef and roughly 99.99999% of earth's human population wants to touch your yabbos (Clay Aiken would rather give her a firm handshake and compliment her talent, out of respect), it's time to ditch the loser. Which is precisely what
Megan Fox did. According to
Contact Music:
TRANSFORMERS star MEGAN FOX has reportedly called off her engagement to actor fiance BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN.
Sources claim the pretty brunette, 22, sent business associates correspondence last week (beg23Jun08) alerting them to the sad news.
An insider says, "Megan still cares about Brian, but she now realises she's too young to marry him."
This girl's got brains! We see her career going in a whole new direction now. And we don't mean that whole next-Angelina-Jolie thing she's being saddled with. We see her more filling the shoes of recently-departed-from-television Montel Williams. She would be the perfect person to say, "Honey, get rid of him, he's a loser. Your next boyfriend needs to have three things: 1) a job, 2) a lock on the liquor cabinet, and 3) a full set of teeth." Although we're not sure if she has any experience administering paternity tests, so maybe that career path isn't a well-thought-out option.
more »
Uptown Girl Vs. Porntown Guy

Normally we'd ignore stories about people like
Christie Brinkley because, well, we're a topical modern gossip blog and not a 1986 advertisement for ColoRibbons eye shadow. However, we're making a special concession in this case because it involves messy divorce and porn addiction, and because Christie is still a happenin' little number. You'll recall that Christie is divorcing her husband, businessman Peter Cook, after learning that he was
joining groins with his teenage employee in his office. Well, their divorce trial opened yesterday and many a bombshell was dropped. Apparently, Cook paid his barely legal mistress $300K to keep quiet about the affair, he frequented swingers' websites, posting naked pictures of his weenis, and he admitted to spending $3,000 per month on internet porn, seemingly unaware that it is available for free. Take it away,
Yahoo! News:
Sensational testimony about Christie Brinkley's estranged husband opened their divorce trial Wednesday, giving the public a salacious peek into the former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model's fourth marriage.
The husband, architect Peter Cook, testified that he and Brinkley used pornography "to get the mood going." Alexa Ray Joel, Brinkley's daughter with "Piano Man" Billy Joel, said Cook once shoved her head into a bucket of water.
Brinkley and Cook presented a portrait of contentment on the Hamptons social circuit. But behind the scenes, they relied on porn as a precursor to intimacy during the last half of their marriage, Cook said. He acknowledged spending about $3,000 a month on pornographic Web sites in 2005. He said he has not accessed the sites since his breakup and maintained he never looked at them in the presence of his children.
Alexa Ray Joel, 22, testified that Cook treated her well before he married her mother. But she said he was constantly on her case afterward, chastising her "if I chewed too loud" and criticizing her piano playing.
"He was just very critical of me in general," said Joel, a singer, songwriter and pianist. When her lengthy shower caused a leak in the kitchen below in 2003, Cook stormed into the bathroom and demanded she mop up immediately, Joel testified. When she got downstairs wearing only a towel, he pushed her head into a bucket and yelled, "You clean this up!" she said.
He's like a cross between Charlie Sheen and Joan Crawford.
more »
July 02, 2008
Rose and Rodriguez: Ruined over Rubles

Remember when wholesome family-movie director (
Spy Kids) / blood-and-guts-fetishist (
Planet Terror) Robert Rodriguez
left his wife of sixteen years and their cadre of annoyingly named children to get it on with
tragically wonk-eyed actress
Rose McGowan. Yeah, bet he's kicking himself for that one right about now.
Page Six reports on their breakup and her career shortcomings:
ROSE McGowan's breakup with her fiancé, director Robert Rodriguez, could be good news for some other actresses, who could end up with the leading roles she was set to play in his movies.
McGowan was hoping to star in at least three planned Rodriguez films - a remake of "Barbarella," "Red Sonja" and "Woman in Chains!"
But sources say the couple, who we reported last October were engaged, have split, partly over the problems Rodriguez had finding financing for "Barbarella" - the 1968 cult classic in which Jane Fonda played a sexy space adven- turess - with McGowan in the title role.
McGowan, best known for her witchy role on TV's "Charmed," wasn't thought to have enough box-office draw for the $70 million remake, especially after "Grindhouse" disappointed with about $25.4 million in domestic ticket sales.
"Too bad 'Grindhouse' didn't gross $100 million. Then, maybe, 'Barbarella' would have gotten the green light," said one source. "Instead, the moguls were saying, 'We need a bigger star, a bigger name.' " Jessica Alba has been touted as a possible replacement.
R. Rod's internal monologue: "God dammit, I f'ed up. I
directed Jessica Alba
before that two-bit TV lady came along. I had a crack at her, and I passed it up. I could've had her, right? I'm a big-time movie director. I'm friends with Quentin Tarantino. I know Antonio Banderas. Banderas! He was a Mambo King! That's impressive, right? Right? Man, I'm an idiot."
more »
Everything's Fine! See? Just Fine!

Yesterday,
Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg issued a
statement asserting that Madge and spouse
Guy Ritchie were absolutely not divorcing. And to drive the point home, Madonna and Guy went to dinner last night, holding hands, and took special pains to get photographed as much as possible. Diabolical! Ah, just look at their joyous faces. The very picture of marital bliss. Three guesses as to what Guy is carrying in that quilted floral bag. The first two guesses don't count. The third guess is "his own nuts".

more »
June 17, 2008
Anne Hathaway Ditches Her D-Bag

We have never understood why pretty girls insist on dating scumbag losers. When you're as fair of skin and pouty of mouth as
Anne Hathaway, you should be dating a Swiss prince who showers you in diamonds and writes you love poems, not some slimy Italian "businessman" who writes bad checks and always seems to be about two weeks away from some sort of indictment. Anne is not the type of woman who needs to be visiting her boyfriend in prison; she should be visiting her boyfriend at his French château, where they will skinny-dip in the secluded infinity pool and then sip champagne in front of the fireplace. So it's a good thing that Anne has finally ditched longtime boyfriend Raffaello Follieri. According to
The Daily Mail:
The 25-year-old movie star ended her four year relationship with Italian-American businessman, 29, over the weekend.
The Brokeback Mountain star's decision follows over a year of scandal linked to Follieri.
Last week, it was reported his charity Follieri Foundation, which funded vaccination programmes in developing countries, was being investigated by the New York State Attorney General's Office.
An insider tells the Mail Online that Hathaway made the painful decision to end their relationship because of the effects his controversial business dealings could have on her career.
Hathaway served as a director on the charity's board until some time last year, with her rep saying: 'Since she is no longer associated with the foundation, why would you expect her to be familiar with all of this,' when asked about the investigation.
A source said: 'It's heartbreaking for her to dump him, and she's devastated that it's come to this, but she really didn't have a choice. His scandals were hurting her reputation.'
It's customary for the pretty girl of bad judgment to rebound with a safe, boring, reliable nice guy, but unfortunately Anne's found one who's already married:
During the making of Get Smart earlier last summer, Hathaway formed a friendship with co-star Steve Carell, who lent her a supportive ear during her problems with Follieri.
'She seemed to really be enjoying her freedom, and making new friends in L.A., especially Steve.'
Hathaway's split from Follieri may mean she finally moves to Hollywood, after years of insisting she would remain on the east coast to stay close to her beau.
A pal said: 'She seemed to really be enjoying her freedom, and making new friends in L.A., especially Steve.
'Anne really wants to find a guy like Steve, and if he weren't married, I have no doubt she would date him in a second.
'She's such a fan of his work she couldn't help but quote episodes of 'The Office' to him when they first met. She thinks he's amazing.
'Even though she loves being near her family, a move to Los Angeles could mean better roles, more money, and a better pool of potential boyfriends.'
2008's irresistible hearth-throb: Steve Carell? Anne recently
gushed: “Making out with him is like the yummiest lollipop,” while The Rock--oh, sorry,
Dwayne Johnson--said of
sucking Steve's face: "It was like--you know, you ever had, like a warm apple pie with that cold ice cream, too? And you find that balance, where you're like [utters disgusting sound]. Hey, it was great, it was great. Not too many men can say that. I had a nice big lip lock with Steve Carell. It was great." Are we missing something here? We're talking about Steve Carell, not George Clooney. He's not exactly the type to cause passing women to offer him their underwear. But he was able to star in an entire movie opposite Dane Cook and not punch him in the face (as far as we know), so that's something we guess.
more »
June 10, 2008
Madonna Ditches Ritchie, Probably Half of Riches

We guess that going on a spouse-free vacation and returning with the gift of an adopted African child instead of a T-shit that says "My Wife Went To Malawi and All I Got Was a Case of Dysentery" can take a toll on a marriage. Rumor has it that
Madonna has (finally, expectedly) started divorce proceedings against
accomplished filmmaker husband Guy Ritchie. UK gossip
Holy Moly has the exclusive scoop:
Sources have revealed exclusively to Holy Moly that Madonna has hired Britain's toughest divorce lawyer, Nicholas Mostyn QC, to kick start divorce proceedings against her husband of eight years, Guy Ritchie.
Mostyn will no doubt strike fear into the heart of Guy – he is the man who sorted out Heather Mills, trounced Earl Spencer and almost destroyed Ray Parlour in his previous high profile divorce cases.
Suggestions made seem to indicate that, surprisingly, Madonna and Guy do NOT have a pre-nup in place, leaving Guy in line to walk away with up to half of Madge's fortune (according to Forbes she earned $72m last year alone).
Long standing rumours of a rift between the couple are finally confirmed with this news, as Holy Moly's sources suggest nothing more than "growing apart" as the reason for the split. They have spent increasing amounts of time apart with both Madonna's new album and tour and Guy's revived movie career are cited as reasons. The adoption of David Banda attracted a huge wave of negative publicity, allegedly putting further strain on the relationship. The couple have one other son, Rocco, and Lourdes, Madonna's daughter from a relationship with her fitness instructor Carlos Leon.
Madge's meeting with Nicholas Mostyn took place at his London office just over ten days ago.
Don't put any bets on seeing this dragged into the courts McCartney-style though – we can only assume that both Madonna and Guy Ritchie will want to keep this a very private affair.
Having said that, Madonna is theoretically entitled to half of Guy's fortune too – which at least means she'll be able to continue making money out of Snatch. Pleasure.
Holy Moly has approached Madonna's UK representative and is awaiting a response.
What Ritchie is likely to receive as a settlement: enough cash to fund a couple dozen Kabbalah-deprogramming centers (he'll be the first client); the master prints for
Swept Away, some liter fluid, and a book of matches; Madonna's faux British accent. What Madonna will walk away with: a completely new identity. And if she has trouble coming up with yet another personality on short notice, we don't think
Celestia is getting much use these days; perhaps Madge could co-opt and revive her.
more »
June 04, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Rhys Is in Pieces

•
Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (
CeleBuzz)
• Angry whelp
Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (
Drunken Stepfather)
•
Kim Kardashian and
Vanessa Minnillo dressed as cheerleaders,
Carmen Electra in jazzercise gear. You're welcome, pre-verts. (
The Hollywood Gossip)
• The fetus is out there. And by "there" we mean in
Gillian Anderson's womb. (
F-Listed)
• Oh yeah,
Charlie Sheen married Brooke Whatsherguts last weekend. We didn't report on it because it didn't involve insulting
Denise Richards. (
Allie Is Wired)
•
Lily Allen's hair is pink, her face is green, and her liver is pickled yellow. Fun drunk shots! Luv u Lily. (
Derek Hail)
•
Astley Tisdale: prepare for mass RickRollage. (
The Blemish)
•
Vanity Fair is in deep shit for implying that
Gina Gershon let Bill Clinton's presidential peen into her Oval Office. Crystal Connors, NO! (
Defamer)
•
Eva Longoria is sporting what appears to be an inflated pregnancy rack, highlighted by the most burnt sienna of tan-spackle. (
D-listed)
May 29, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: Hopelessly Devoted to Food

•
Britney might star in
Grease on Broadway. Well, she's certainly got the "grease" part down. (
Daily Stab)
•
Mischa Barton is refusing to promote her t.a.t.u. movie. Wonder why. (
IDLYITW)
• Thank God for
Lindsay Lohan's relationship with
Samantha Ronson, for it keeps Michael Lohan in the news! (
Yeeeah!)
•
Scarlett Johansson. Naked in a pool. (
Egotastic!)
• As
Hilary Duff's veneers have shrunk, so has her rack inflated. It's magic! (
Cityrag)
•
Mariah Carey dons her most Mimi-est of rags to kick off Japanese baseball season. Man, what a weird sentence. (
Drunken Stepfather)
•
Pamela Anderson returns to form with the best upskirt she can muster. (
Taxi Driver)
•
Angelina and
Brad let their children do whatever while they dunk their sleek, genetically superior forms nakedly into their pool. (
The Blemish)
•
Naomi Campbell to trade glamour for the slammer. (
Celebitchy)
•
Bill Murray's wife says he's a drunk and a stoner and a cheater and a beater. B-b-buh . . . but . . . he's the voice of Garfield! (
PopCrunch)
May 23, 2008
"Prostitute-Tranny-Infested Sperm"

We're about to do something revolutionary that has never been done in the history of CelebNewsWire: We're going to say something complimentary about
Denise Richards. Girl sure is entertaining. Sure, her entitled, tarted-up face may induce rage in our heart, but whenever she opens her mouth it's sure to elicit a hearty guffaw from ours. Will it make us watch her new reality show on E!? No. Not unless she can promise to play voicemails from
Charlie Sheen in every episode. But, alas, Charlie is a bit more wily than
Alec Baldwin; he knows to only send text messages.
Page Six scoops the poop:
DENISE Richards is lashing back at her ex, Charlie Sheen, over the ugly accusations made by his friends on Page Six yesterday.
Sheen branded her a liar and claimed she sent his fiancee, Brooke Mueller, an e-mail asking him for his sperm so she could have another kid. Now Richards, in town to promote her E! reality show "It's Complicated," tells us:
"For him to slam me saying I'm exploiting the kids, well, he's exploited our entire situation," Richards fumed to us yesterday. She claims Sheen obsessively sends her rage-filled text messages.
"Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold," Richards said. "His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.
"He missed Dad's day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?"
Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: "I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting and he's hit an all-time low."
But Sheen is taking it to the mat - or rather, a computer DNA expert - to prove Richards is lying.
Sheen's rep said, "Denise seems to be denying the existence of [the] e-mail. This goes beyond a he-said-she-said. We have an offer from a [live] TV show. They will bring a computer expert to diagnose the e-mail and to verify it was sent by her e-mail address and to verify it was neither altered nor edited. Computer DNA - it is conclusive.
"The only time Charlie has spoken on TV about her, they were sound bites at red-carpet visits or during set visits," the rep said. "He has not gone on multiple TV shows this week."
We've got a question for you, Denise. If
Charlie's sperm is "prostitute-tranny-infested" what does that say about your daughters? It's not like Charlie was as virginal as Gary Coleman before you snagged him and only started paying for play after you split. Nu-unh, honey. Chuckie had been dipping his wick into every expensive-ass ho in L.A. for
decades. So does this mean that when you sit Sam and Lola down for the "where do babies come from" talk (in front of an E! camera crew, natch) that you'll explain not that they're made of sugar and spice and everything nice but of one part mommy, one part daddy, and a hearty dash of transgendered streetwalker?
more »
Jessica Simpson Bungles Romo-ance Via Braff and Leto

If you are anything like us (and we can see by your cool soul patch and silky dragon shirt that you are), you've been wringing your hands and grinding your teeth, trying to figure out what specifically went wrong between
Jessica Simpson and
Tony Romo. Thank God, then, that we have the
National Enquirer to clue us in. It seems that she'd been enjoying a little outer-romance romance will the likes of uberdouches
Zach Braff and
Jared Leto. Take it away,
Enquirer (via
Celebitchy):
[Jessica Simpson’s] fling with Zach Braff began after a recent party hosted by Diddy, when the mogul received his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
“They spent that night together and several others,” the source said.
“Then she turned to Jared [Leto] for several more romantic trysts! And this was happening right under Tony Romo’s nose!”
At one point she was juggling all three guys, according to the source.
That's not as sexy as the idea of Jessica Simpson having sex with all three guys at once, but juggling them is pretty impressive. Especially if they were on fire.
more »
May 22, 2008
Denise Richards Wants Charlie Sheen's Sperm, Money

We don't understand why famous people bother to have babies. Half the time it ends really really badly. Sure, it miraculously made
KFed financially solvent for the first time in his life, but not everyone is lucky enough to have two kiddos pop out of
Britney's poon chute. Sometimes you're
Charlie Sheen and you end up saddled to
Denise Richards for some twenty odd years. We at CelebNewsWire have never hid our dislike of Denise Richards, but even if we thought she was as sweet as a gingerbread house filled to the rafters with kittens, we think we'd still say "Bitch, please" to her moaning about only raking in a measly $52,000 a month. Yes, we said month.
Page Six reports:
DENISE Richards is a big liar, claim Charlie Sheen's pals - one of whom says she "gets more than enough money from Charlie to never have to work, much less do a reality show that exploits the kids."
Sheen and his friends are furious that Richards taped a reality show debuting this weekend on E! called "It's Complicated," which also features the warring ex-couple's two daughters, Lola and Sam.
In her bid to promote the show, Richards went on "Today," "The View" and "Larry King Live" to explain she did it to make money to support her children.
But, "Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support," a Sheen insider fumed. "Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can't?"
In addition to the child support, Richards got $60,000 a month (also tax-free) for two years in alimony - adding up to a whopping $1.44 million. Richards also gets a chunk of Sheen's hot sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," which "eventually will net her up to $25 million," the source said.
But big hunks of cash aren't the only thing Denise wants from Charlie. According to
The New York Daily News:
Sheen's ex Denise Richards denied on "Larry King" Tuesday that she'd ever asked Sheen, father of her two children, for a sperm donation after their breakup. Wednesday, the "Two and a Half Men" star countered by distributing to us and others in the media a copy of an e-mail he said Richards sent to his fiancée, Brooke Mueller, on the subject in April 2007.
"I will no longer sit back and be egregiously painted as a liar," Sheen said. "The mere fact that she continues to publicly discuss and harass both Brooke and me three years after our separation, which for the record is longer than the actual length of the marriage, is beyond desperate and speaks volumes."
The e-mail, Sheen claims, reads:
"Dear Brooke, I don't want to have a baby with Charlie. I am having a baby in the next year. By myself ... my girlfriend suggested Charlie be the donor. So, I did bring this up to him. There are so many couples having unhealthy children. Charlie and I have very beautiful healthy children together. I was strictly looking for a sperm donor, if it's any of your business. If it were him, I said we would sign a document that he couldn't come after me and I couldn't come after him ... this wasn't to have sex with him, it was him donating ... that's it. "
After Richards told Matt Lauer on "Today" yesterday that the e-mail was a fake, Sheen challenged: "If any proof can be established that these are not in fact her words and statements verbatim, I openly invite her and would even encourage Ms. Richards to sue me in a court of law."
This is why you have to think ahead, ladies. Waiting for the man to willingly give up his jizz is so twentieth century. The new millennium is all about rooting through the trash for used condoms and stowing them in the freezer, just in case.
more »
May 21, 2008
Sienna Wants Rhys to Exit, Stage Left

As eternal love blooms for the newly wedded Wentzes and Warrens, love withers and dies like a hothouse flower for blonde Pittsburgh-hater
Sienna Miller and her actor
fiance,
Rhys Ifans. Apparently, Sienna is disgusted that Rhys has turned out to be exactly like her former fiance
Jude Law, which means that after the inevitable breakup, Rhys has a stellar future getting his
nuts fondled in a garden by Kimberly Stewart.
Showbiz Spy reports:
Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans are reportedly on the verge of a split. Hot on the heels of engagement rumors, Sienna is said to be struggling to cope with Rhys’ possessiveness; and his behavior reminds her of ‘controlling’ ex-boyfriend Jude Law.
A source says, “Rhys gets very jealous - he hates her socializing with other men and always wants to know where she is and who she’s with. During a row she yelled at him: ‘It’s just like being with Jude’.
“Rhys freaked out, because he prides himself on being the laid-back opposite of Jude. But he just gets worked up seeing men admiring his girlfriend and trying to hit on her.”
Tensions between the pair have worsened due to work commitments. Sienna has been filming GI Joe in America while Rhys has been working in the UK.
“They had a huge bust up recently,” the friend added. “Sienna promised to spend a week with Rhys. He arranged his filming schedule, but at the last minute she canceled her trip, saying she had to work. Rhys hit the roof when he called her and found out she was partying in LA.”
Actually, we think Sienna probably just got a sober look at Ifans in the cold hard light of day and realized she was engaged to a combination of Riff Raff from Rocky Horror and Snagglepuss.
more »
CNW Junk Drawer: Still Big

•
Jessica Simpson gives herself a breast exam. "Are they still big? Yep. Yep. Still big." (
Egotastic)
• Hey, ladies. Hold on to your panties and your cocktails, because
Kiefer Sutherland is single! (
Derek Hail)
• Tina Turner says that
Beyoncé will never be rock n' roll. Oh yeah? Well guess what, Tina?
You'll never be polka! Eat that! (
Female First)
•
Shania Twain has learned an important lesson: don't marry a straw-haired producer of bombastic rock music and live in seclusion in Europe lest straw-haired producer runs off with the manager of your Swiss chateau. Oh, that's a story as old as the hills. When will they ever learn? (
Hollywire)
• Every part of
Kristen Bell is adorable. Up to and including her wee booty. (
The Blemish)
•
The Hills's Whitney Port becomes Titney Port when she slipples nipple. (
Drunken Stepfather)
• And speaking of
Hills douches, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get fingered. (
Allie Is Wired)
• Ten Toys that Made You Gay. (
Cityrag)
•
Joss Stone explores another girl's dental work. With her tongue. (
I Don't Like You In That Way)
•
Gossip Girl's
Blake Lively cavorts on beach with Penn Badgley. And one of them is wearing a bikini, but we won't spoil it and tell you which! (
F-Listed)
May 16, 2008
'Son and 'Son Split

Hollywood is a cruel mistress. She strings you along, making you believe that the world is full of sunshine and rainbows, giving us tales of unmatched joy on a weekly basis--this happy couple in engaged, these impossibly beautiful people are combining their fortunate genes to create a new, even more beautiful life. But it's all a ruse to lull us into complacency, thinking that the universe doles out happiness like free Chick-Fil-A samples at the mall. And then she strikes: Some famous person's dreams are shattered, hearts are broken, love is forever abandoned--at least until another impossibly pretty person crosses the heartbroken one's path. Such a cruel fate is upon us today, as Hollywood's blondest couple has stopped sharing a bottle of Sun-In. Reports
People:
Despite a flurry of engagement rumors, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson – Hollywood's most notorious on-again, off-again couple – have called it quits, less than two months after rekindling their romance in Miami.
The end of their erratic courtship (they began dating in September '06) comes amid erroneous reports that the pair were engaged, fueled by photos of Hudson wearing a Tiffany & Co. ring (it was a prop!) both on-and-off set of her film Bride Wars, which she's filming in Boston.
"It was a pretty bad breakup," says a Wilson pal. "Owen said it was a tough one. He definitely doesn't want to dwell on it. He wants to put it behind him."
Since the split, Hudson, 29, and Wilson, 39, have each been spotted letting loose. On May 9, Hudson and Bride Wars costar Steve Howey, 30, visited Boston's Liberty Hotel bar, Alibi. And on May 11, Wilson dropped by N.Y.C.'s Upstairs with two women.
"He was pretty chummy with the ladies ... he was certainly doing some sweet talking," according to an onlooker. "He looked happy to be there hanging with them." The late-night outing was followed by a visit to Butter the next night, where he chatted up a sexy blonde. Says a Hudson source: "She feels dumb thinking it was so serious."
Now Kate's tow-headed womb will remain fallow and all hope for the birth of the world's blondest baby is lost.
more »
May 15, 2008
Anne Heche Broke Like MC Hammer
Anne Heche is totally broke and can't pay child support! This is Celestia's fault, we just know it. That greedy little tramp probably ran off with Anne's credit cards and spent wads and wads of money on lesbian hookers. Or maybe she spent it all trying to fix her busted space ship so she could finally get home and live in peace with her own kind. Aw. Poor, lonely Celestia. She just wants a home. We'll never blame her for Anne's woes ever again.
TMZ reports:
Anne Heche got a break from the judge in her custody war today after appearing in court, claiming she doesn't have a pot to pee in ... even less than her deader-beat ex-husband.
An L.A. County Superior Court judge has suspended Heche's obligation to pay child support for July. Heche has been forking over $14,798 in monthly support.
In her declaration, Heche noted that her TV show, "Men In Trees," had gotten the ax. She says since January, "I have been unemployed and had no income....except for one very short term contract for a movie role for which I received a total of $65,000."
Heche says she has a grand total of $34,840.93 in her accounts. She claims she can't continue paying for Homer's private school tuition, her Canadian mortgage, L.A. rent, auto and other expenses. She says she's $364,000 in the hole.
BTW, Anne was spotted at the Malibu Beach Inn over the weekend. She blew $30 on appetizers, not including tip.
Oh my God, what a bitch. We can't believe Anne would spend $30 on appetizers--
appetizers!--when her ex-husband Coley Laffoon (hehe) doesn't have enough child support left over from months and months of $14,798 checks to buy poor little Homer any Louis Vuitton socks for summer camp. He is going to get teased so badly. But mostly because his name's Homer Laffoon and his mom is a former lesbian with a secret alien identity begat by God. Kids don't give a shit what kind of socks you wear.
more »
May 14, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: "If I Was Cyclops and You Were Jean Grey"

• Singer/asshole Ryan Adams goes to comic shop expressly for the purpose of fondling
Mandy Moore. Nerds everywhere cut selves. (
The Blemish)
•
Tara Reid works a bikini, haters be damned. (
Drunken Stepfather)
• It's entirely possible that Tony Romo will never fumble with
Jessica Simpson's footballs again. (
Yeeeah!)
• Celebrity Muppets. (
Cityrag)
•
Kelly Brook is back together with your friend
Billy Zane. (
F-listed)
•
Lily Allen once sang that she wanted to see you smile. Today, the dream becomes reality as shots of her cliff-diving topless emerge. (
Hollywood Tuna)
• Some skintage flesh!
Tricia Helfer nip slip circa 2007. Battlestar Galac-tit-ca. (
Fatback)
• The new cast of
90210 revealed! That one was for all of our under 12 and gay readers. (
Bitten and Bound)
• How I Met My Emo Lover, by
Flashlee Simpson. (
FemaleFirst)
• Another kind of "bump" for
Britney. (
Daily Stab)
•
Shia La Beef on La Zit Cream. (
Celebitchy)
• When scabies met impetigo: a tender love story featuring
Amy Winehouse and
Pete Doherty. (
Seriously OMG WTF)
•
Amy Smart has a well-padded poon. (
Taxi Driver)
May 08, 2008
Walk This Way . . . to Divorce Court?

Once upon a dream,
Liv Tyler was everybody's fantasy lady. People overlooked the fact that she creepily resembled her father, only with boobs, and she slurred her way into our hearts in
Empire Records and other such films. And she may be poised for a comeback, since apparently she and her husband are on the rocks. Reports
IMDb/WENN:
Liv Tyler has left question marks hanging over her marriage to British rocker Royston Langdon, after posing at New York's Costume Institute Gala on Monday night without a wedding ring. The couple married in March 2003, and have a three-year-old son, Milo. But sources claim the relationship has been on the rocks for some time; rumors seemingly confirmed when Tyler strolled the red carpet alone at the star-studded event, with a clearly naked ring finger - the same night Scarlett Johansson was showing off her brand new engagement ring. When contacted by the New York Daily News, a representative for Tyler, 30, refused to comment on the speculation surrounding her marriage.
We hear this came about after Liv woke up one day, realized it wasn't 1996, and said, "Wait, I'm married to the guy from Spacehog? Hahahahahahahaha! No, but seriously. Really? Ahahahahahahahaha!"
UPDATE:
Confirmed!
more »
April 29, 2008
CNW Junk Drawer: She's Still Got (T)it!

•
Elizabeth Hurley's colossal cleavage never seems to age. Baffling! (
The Blemish)
•
Amy Winehouse and her imprisoned husband: they're either going to be "together forever", or she's cheating on him and will be forced to give him three million dollars. Either way, she's screwed. (
Female First)
•
Tom Cruise was once
Cher's bagel boy. And by that, we mean he spread his cream on her hole. Wait, no. The other way around. (
Hollywood Grind)
• 'Scuse me while I kiss this dong. Move over,
Marilyn, it's the Jimi Hendrix sex tape! Does he play a right-handed vagina left-handed? Watch and find out.(
I Don't Like You In That Way)
• Disney says that we won't be seeing much of
Miley Cyrus in the wake of her "nude" photo "controversy". Unless she's in a full body condom with a scarlet letter on it. (
The Hollywood Gossip)
• Hulk Hogan uses suntan oil . . . to lube up daughter
Brooke Hogan's crotch? Miley, what have you wrought with your suggestive posing and infectious pop grooves? The whole world's gone crazy! (
Drunken Stepfather)
•
Leah Remini's daughter is an asshole. (
Derek Hail)
• When
John Travolta notices that his new facial hair configuration looks like two porn star landing strips, he will squeal, "Ew, get it off, get it offffff!" (
Yeeeah!)
•
Keeley Hazell. Dancing. In her undies. (
Holy Taco)
• Former
Full House fox
Lori Loughlin joins the cast of the new improved
90210. It's like 1990 all over again. (
Hollywire)
April 28, 2008
Pam Anderson Wisely Denies Marriage to Paris Hilton Bedmate

Sure, we all want to forget our past boo-boos in the game of romance, but
Pamela Anderson really, really, really wants to forget. In fact, she wants to believe that the marriage was never even there in the first place, like a figment of her imagination or the Argentinian dwarf or
Natalie Portman's acting talent! When asked, on
Larry King Live, about her 4 month union to Salomon, an embarrassed Pam mumbled,
"Oh jeez . . . It never happened . . . It was an . . . well, it was an annulment so… it never happened."
But Pam! It happened! See,
here is the story we wrote about your wedding.
Here's the one we wrote after you filed for divorce the first time. And
here is the one from when your divorce was back on. And look! In the upper left corner! It is a picture of you inspecting your then-husband's penis while a yellow lab craps in the sand next to you. You can't argue with photographic proof. Especially when a literal/metaphorical dog turd is illustrating your union.
more »
April 23, 2008
Et Tu, Star and Al; Kelly and Billy?

Whatever mystical hoodoo has been floating around Famouspeopleland making them get impregnated with twins has soured and is now causing relationships to melt like a Fat Frog in the sun.
Kanye West and his fiancée have
called off their engagement, and today it was announced that two other relationships have shit the bed.
Packing their bags and boarding the S.S. Brokenheart: the pneumatically awesome
Kelly Brook and Your Friend
Billy Zane! According to our gossip marriage counselor,
FemaleFirst, a source said,
"After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement. The split is completely amicable and they remain good friends."
Keep in mind that Billy attempted to put the
kibosh on Kelly baring any more of her storied flesh than necessary. We expect a grand, post-breakup coming out for Kelly in the near future. Coming out of her drawers, that is.
And speaking of "coming out",
Star Jones has filed for divorce from her waxed and manicured hunk o' man
Al Reynolds. She told
ET:
“Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life. A month ago I filed for divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone’s life that requires privacy with one’s thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman.”
Al, too, looks to emerge from this period a stronger and wiser woman.
more »
March 18, 2008
Madonna and Guy Ritchie Can't Justify Their Love

Recently we watched the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. And after a whole lot of dick jokes from Justin Timberlake, we were surprised by
Madonna's speech. She seemed nice and warm and overall human, and she even dropped her faux British accent after the first couple of minutes. It reminded us of why we loved Madonna when we were in the third grade. Plus, seeing a shirtless Iggy Pop jump into the audience of old white dudes and yell at them to "feel the music" while singing "Ray of Light" was kind of genius. But you know what we thought was odd? Not only was Madonna's husband,
Guy Ritchie, not in attendance, Madge didn't so much as mention him during her entire speech. She thanked her publicist for three whole minutes, but there wasn't even a passing mention of Guy. Weird, right? Well, maybe not so much, as the couple is barely on speaking terms these days and hopes to soon have an entire ocean between them.
Page Six reports:
IS Madonna about to get into the groove as a single woman again with a dramatic relocation from London to New York - without Guy Ritchie?
The pop queen and her movie-director husband's seven-year marriage is on the rocks, according to Page Six sources and reports out of Britain.
"Madonna is said to have lost respect for Ritchie when she found out he had embellished his past," one in-the-know Briton told us. "Far from the tough, working-class London dude he adoringly echoed in 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels,' he's actually a privileged, prep school boy who chose to affect a gangland accent and walk with a street swagger. Brits can spot this at 100 yards, or hear it in an accent. Yanks, alas, can't."
But while Madonna might feel she has worn out her welcome in England, Ritchie is loath to leave his native country. "He's known in the UK as a moviemaker homeboy-made good," our source explained, "while in the US, he's just the foreign half-wit who took Madonna from her American homeland and made her talk all funny."
The couple's pals told Britain's Sun newspaper yesterday they're already living separate lives, having divided their country and city homes into "his and hers quarters" to avoid each other. "The marriage is hanging by a thread. No one doubts they adore their three kids, but the children seem to be the only reason they are living this strange loveless existence," one friend of the couple told the paper.
Madonna is headed to Manhattan with Lourdes, 11, Rocco, 7, and David, 2, Britain's News of the World reports, quoting one source: "Madonna and Guy are over. It's all very amicable. They've just fallen out of love with each other."
Baloney, says Madonna's rep, Liz Rosenberg. "All is well and wonderful in the Ritchie household," she told us. "Their marriage is definitely not hanging by a thread. Madonna has no plans to move to New York . . . Separate wings? I think not. I am delighted to confirm [they] remain happily married . . . They're still both sharing Cloud 9 - as opposed to Client 9, ha-ha!"
Still, speculation about the Material Mom's second marriage has been in overdrive. Ritchie wasn't with his wife when she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last week. And he skipped her Raising Malawi charity drive at the United Nations last month.
Ho, ho, Client 9, how timely. You really are a card, Liz Rosenberg. We can see why you got such a glowing thanks during Madonna's induction speech. All Guy Ritchie ever did was take Madonna's already limping, cancer-ridden acting career, pump it full of arsenic, stab it a couple of hundred times, and put a silver bullet in its head. He definitely didn't deserve a thank you.
more »
March 17, 2008
Heather Mills Gets a Smaller Shit Load of Money Than She Hoped; Still a Shit