filed under: celebrity bathroom habits

THERE’S not a week that goes past without a new LINDSAY LOHAN sex story – and in the latest she’s gone back to men.

BOBBY BROWN’S son BRANDON is claiming that he got intimate with the actress in a TOILET.

Apparently Lindsay – who most recently has been seen cosying up to female DJ SAMANTHA RONSON – couldn’t resist the reality TV star’s charms.

He boasts: “Me and Lindsay got really, really close.

“She followed me to the bathroom during a private party, and, well, we basically got together.

“I think she knew who I was when she first saw me.

“We were just staring at each other and she walked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in.”

Unsurprisingly things didn’t work out, although Brandon says: “I'm actually trying to get back in touch with her – really soon.”

A witness spoke to Hudson in the bathroom at a Dolce & Gabbana event when Armstrong walked out of one of the cubicles. The source said: “I asked her what she was doing. Kate blushed and laughed - and then Lance walked out of a stall topless!”

A friend [of Amy’s] said “Amy’s tried all sorts of lotions and potions but none works. She is desperately unhappy with her appearance and she is happy to try anything that may clear up her condition. She is praying [putting] urine [on her face] will work.”

"The weirdest thing I ever heard was take morning urine and put it on your acne. I did it. I tried to do it and I was like, 'I'm not doing it.' It was years ago, now I've got Proactiv and I don't need that."

"I had been living in Los Angeles for about a year and was a member of a theatre company. One night, after a play, I went to a party and ran into the playwright.

"He said, 'What's your story?' I said, 'I'm from St. Louis. I just got here. I want to be an actress.'

"He said, 'I'm writing a film, and I think you'd be great for it. But I have a question for you - would you ever do a raunchy sex scene in a movie? Like really raunchy, with nudity?' "I kind of laughed and said, 'Well, I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't be proud to show my parents.' And he said, 'Well, you're not a real actress, then.' I was stunned.

"He said, 'A real actress would say yes. A real actress would piss herself onstage if that's what it took. Sylvester Stallone did porn . . . Shelley Winters pissed herself onstage. Every play, every movie I write has nudity in it. You know why? Because that's how I know if I'm working with real actors. You're not a real actress. You should just go home. You don't have what it takes.'

"I went home and cried and cried and cried. What an asshole, I should have told him, 'How about I piss on your face? Does that make me a real actress? Let's try that. I'll do that right here. I'll do that today.' Bring me Shem Bitterman."

"Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often. He'll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks."

Most celebrities expect the occasional overzealous fan to snap an unflattering candid, but Paula Abdul’s eager star-stalker took it a step too far.

“A fan leaned over (a public bathroom stall) and took a picture, and I was mortified, and she didn't think there was anything wrong with it,” the “American Idol” judge told the L.A. Times. “I honestly was weirded out by that and she was so nervous that she thought I wouldn't even notice. I was like no, no, that's not cool. I said to her, ‘A real good tip: Don't do that to anyone else.’”

Once Paula ensured the potty pic was history, she proved her patience by posing for some more appropriate shots with the same fan.

Former New York "It" boy and Paper magazine blogger Fabian Basabe writes on his blog today that the supermodel turned TV personality, um, soiled herself at Fashion Week. Basabe was filming an interview in the W suite at the tents, and suddenly a whole cadre of people barged in and kicked him out. The reason? Tyra needed to change her clothes. Because of the incident. Apparently they had a spare change of clothes all lined up which makes him wonder if it's happened before. Obviously we have no real confirmation on this. I'm not really sure if Tyra Banks pooping herself is newsworthy, but maybe Basabe's continued usage of the icky term "messed herself" is? Apologies.

"Cameron is a big old belcher, but I can't belch. One night I had a heavy dinner, so I combated her belching with something I could do. We were in side-by-side beds, so it was her disgusting bodily function versus mine. It was an Eva-Cameron fart-belch off."

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal may have joined the ‘Mile High Club’.

The Hollywood couple allegedly spent more than ten-minutes together inside an airplane bathroom, according to U.S reports.

Witherspoon, 31, and Jake, 26, were flying together from Frankfurt, Germany, to Los Angeles after a trip to the Rome Film Festival.

“Reese was dressed in all black and wearing shades when she and about six handlers entered Lufthansa’s first class lounge,” an eyewitness told Star magazine.

“It wasn’t until she was already on the plane that we realized Jake, also dressed in black, had boarded separately.”

After the two-hour flight from Rome to Frankfurt, the lovebirds were transferred to their trans-Atlantic connection on a special bus. Once onboard the group occupied ten out of 16 seats in the first class section of the 747 plane.

“Reese and Jake kissed and cuddled together under a blanket in her recliner seat in the back row,” the witness continued.

Three hours into the flight, Reese reportedly got up from her seat and walked forward to the toilet. Two minutes later Jake got up and allegedly walked into the same bathroom. “I started timing them - they were together in there for 11-minutes,” the witness told Star.

Jake came out of the bathroom first, and Reese reportedly followed him three-minutes later. “When they each walked by, it seemed like everyone in their entourage took pains to look away.

“Jake worked on his laptop, and then he and Reese took a nap side by side.”

A secret sex room? Feces-smeared couches? Another baby on the way? You can bet Kevin Federline and his lawyers are bound to take a keen interest in Star magazine's latest claims about his ex, Britney Spears.

The tabloid alleges that the plummeting pop star's Mulholland Drive mansion is equipped with a double-locked, X-rated "Fantasy Room" filled with ticklers, whips and fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe. (Please, hold your shudders until the end.)

The second-floor room also features a mirrored ceiling, a glass jar containing spanking paddles and a closet full of kinky outfits, according to an "insider" who stumbled into the den of sin.

"She wears Catholic schoolgirl uniforms, a maid's uniform and a Cinderella outfit," claims the mole. The source also contends Brit is so obsessed with Marilyn Monroe that she wants her nose redone to look like the blond model of self-destruction.

"Britney is sexually obsessed," the source tells Star.

Perhaps K-Fed knows that; they did make two babies. But his legal team, which scours the tabloid media for new evidence of maternal incompetence, is possibly less familiar with the claim that Brit leaves some of her sex toys out in the living room. When — and if — she regains custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 14 months, Federline may not be tickled about them finding her ticklers.

Star's source also claims the house is a stinky sty — that the white couches bear hideous stains of diaper-changing and Britney's dog. According to the tab, a "court-appointed watchdog" is set to declare the place a potential "health hazard."

But back to the pleasure equipment — who's helping Brit use it? According to the mag, her "new squeeze" is Michael Marchand, a Hollywood waiter and aspiring actor. But his mom insists that they're "just friends" who like "watching videos together and playing Scrabble."

Despite such innocent pursuits, Star quotes "multiple independent sources" as saying Brit is expecting again.

"Yes, I am pregnant and I am shocked — almost four weeks to be exact," says Brit, or someone claiming to be Brit, in a message on her MySpace page, according to Star. "I don't really know if I'm happy or sad I'm just ... idk [I don't know] I am happy I guess. I saw the ultrasound and it was really kewl!"

Spears' reps didn't get back to us. Federline's mouthpiece declined comment.

Before she took her current gig as Hans Klok's assistant, Pam Anderson was putting together a crazazy $10 million strip club deal that involved a between-the-legs car wash, among other assets.

Vegas Confidential reports that Pam was working with Scores owner Dennis DeGori, and that the club was to be called The Burning Bush, and that its signature feature was a supersized sign with her legs as an archway. Cars could drive between the gams, and get a car wash, with the shower coming from, um, between the legs.

As for Pam herself, she would make just four two-hour visits a year. She scrapped the idea because she "didn't want to hurt her reputation." Exactly.

"I have a wee on the toilet in front of him, but I'd never have a poo in front of Pete, unless it was a sexual act!"

Just weeks after giving birth to baby daughter Princess Tiaamii, glamour model Jordan seems to be determined to regain her party queen title.

Jordan, real name Katie Price, was a frequent fixture on the celebrity party circuit before marrying Peter Andre in 2005 but she told friends recently that misses her old nights out.

The mother of three was spotted partying with female friends in crotch-flashing tiny yellow dress last week and was out again on Tuesday night. She was overheard complaining to former Liberty X star Michelle Heaton: “I’m never in the papers any more. It’s ‘cos I’m a mum and I’m boring and I stay in.”

She added that her married life is far from perfect: “We’re always arguing - just like on our TV programme. When the cameras stop we still argue. He gets a lot of attention and we’re both really jealous.”

But after a few years away from the party girl lifestyle, she seems to have lost her stamina. A source told the Mirror that the champagne Jordan was drinking quickly went to her head and she had to be led to the club toilets by her friends.

She tried to make herself sick in the middle of the bathroom and an onlooker heard her tell the attendant: “Don’t worry, if I’m sick I’ll clear it up. I’m used to clearing up sick all day with the kids. I’m used to having s*** all over me.”

When she was finally sick on the floor of a cubicle, she reiterated her offer, saying: “Don’t worry, I know it’s there, I’ll clear it up."

"After several of Ryan’s buddies joined them at Britney’s table, Ryan excused himself and went into the nearby men’s room,” said the source. “On the spur of the moment, Britney followed. Alarmed, Britney’s bodyguards began pounding and screaming on the door. With no response from her, they went ballistic. “After calling out to Britney several more times asking if she was OK, they busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing each other,” said the insider.”

On Mother’s Day in Malibu Britney Spears made the wise decision to pull over to the side of the road and change her older son Sean Preston’s diaper. Toddler Sean Preston, 20 months, surely could have waited until his mom was pulled over at a nearby gas station. Paparazzi surrounded Britney’s car and looked like they caused a traffic jam. I’m sure Britney doesn’t mind, she’s used to having the world stop to pay attention to whatever dumb shit she does.