CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.

filed under: celebrity arrests

July 28, 2008

Shia LaBeouf Spreads Beefy Goodness All Over La Brea

shia_lebeouf_stoned.jpgShia "The Beef" LaBeouf decided to step up his normal routine of getting arrested for loitering and getting arrested for public smoking. And he did so by getting arrested after getting sloshed and rolling his truck at 3 A.M. today in Hollywood. He apparently made a left turn in front of another car, causing a major collision. The Beef will be charged with a misdemeanor DUI and is currently having surgery on his hand. His people released the following statement to TMZ:
"Attorneys for Mr. LaBeouf confirm that an automobile accident involving an additional party occurred early morning in Los Angeles on July 27, 2008. Shia is currently recovering from extensive hand surgery with plans to return to work on the set of 'Transformers 2' within one month. No further comment will be issued at this time."
And then the wrecked truck transformed into a giant robot and he and Shia sparked a doob and hung out at Walgreens. By Michael Bay.
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July 23, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Funky Monk-y

sophie_monk_nipples_bikini.jpg• Sophie Monk's nipples try to stab their way through her bikini top. Like they were pink, squishy pirate cutlasses. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• David Duchovny was scared that wife Tea Leoni would give him a beatdown when she saw his makeout scene with Gillian Anderson in the X-Files movie. Guess we can assume she's never seen Californication. (FemaleFirst)

• Nick Hogan turns 18 on Sunday. That means big boy jail! Yayyy! Sooo big! (Allie Is Wired)

• Despite the pap songs, the fishbelly complexion, and the castrato voice, being James Blunt is kind of sweet. (Cityrag)

• More details about Batman giving his batmom a batshove. (Yeeeah!)

• Heather Locklear has been successfully rehabilitated. Locklear v. 2.0 ready for deployment. (The Blemish)

• Amy Winehouse wants at least five children with cracky, smacky husband Blake. Though since he's just been sentenced to 27 months in jail, that might be difficult outside of conjugal visits. (CelebWarship)

• Two weeks post-birth, and Nicole Kidman's gut is flatter than yours. The world is a vampire. (Hollywire)

• Gabrielle Reece shoves her volleyballs into a bikini top. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Picture it. 2008. Estelle Getty dies at her home. We'll miss you, Sophia Petrillo. (PopCrunch)

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July 22, 2008

Beatman

christian_bale_newsies.jpgChristian Bale has the number one movie on the planet with The Dark Knight, but he is in deep number two for allegedly giving his mother and sister a na na na na na na na na BEAT DOWNNNN! Reports Digital Spy:
Batman star Christian Bale will face police questioning today over claims that he assaulted his mother and sister.

A complaint was lodged against the actor by mother Jenny, 61, and sister Sharon, 40, at a police station in Hampshire yesterday. They have alleged that Bale "lashed out" at them on Sunday night at central London's Dorchester Hotel.

Police decided to delay questioning until today because they did not want to spoil last night's Dark Knight premiere in the West End, one report suggests.

A source told The Sun: "It would have been wrong to wreck the premiere over a complaint which we do not yet know is founded in truth. Mr Bale will be contacted at the earliest opportunity and be asked to provide an account of what happened."
It's awesome how everyone is so rapturous about The Dark Knight that police are willing to overlook its star slapping around female family members. Like, "we could head over and take him in for quick questioning and make sure he's not a mom-basher, buuuuuuut he's Batman." And then the officers high fived and headed over to Hardee's for commemorative Dark Knight plastic cups and Bat-rings.
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July 18, 2008

England Finally Admits Pete Doherty Is Not Upstanding Citizen, Issues Warrant for His Arrest

pete_doherty_scary_ugly_scabs.jpg England is a magical place where one can walk around with a junk needle in their arm, carrying a cat smoking a crack pipe, and the bobbies just say, "Pip, pip old bean. You're looking a bit chaffed. How about a spot of tea, then?" Plus it's full of unicorns and hippogriffs. Harry Potter taught us that. But the one thing you do not want to do in Britain is run afoul of their justice system. If Blake Feilder-Civil can remain in the clink for this long for perverting justice, how long can they lock away upright chap Pete Doherty for not showing to court? According to The San Francisco Chronicle:
A warrant has been issued for troubled rocker Pete Doherty's arrest after he missed a court hearing for the second time.

The Babyshambles frontman was expected to enter a plea on today for allegedly attacking a female press photographer last summer.

He was charged with criminal damage to Catherine Mead's camera lens following the incident in Somerset, England.

After a second missed hearing, magistrates in Yeovil, Somerset, issued a warrant for the arrest of Doherty without bail.
Pete Doherty brought to justice? That just doesn't seem right. Unless of course England has passed a new law allowing co-ed jail cells and Amy Winehouse will soon be brought in on charges of possession of monumental amounts of drugs and the pair can find scabby, junky love behind bars. And if the British judicial system is in any kind of financial bind, they can install cameras and make millions off of the syndication rights of Crack & Smack: Love Behind Bars.
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June 03, 2008

CNW Hollywood Heathwatch Update

tatum-o-neal-arrested.jpgThey say bad things happen in threes, so Hollywood is heartily screwed today. In the last 48 hours, a great plague has befallen some of the best and brightest that the entertainment industry has to offer. A quick wrap-up:

• Kelsey Grammer had a mild heart attack, but he's OK. One of his siblings was murdered and his twin half brothers died in a scuba diving mishap, so a heart attack for this dude is pretty much akin to having the hiccups.

• Fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent died at the age of 71. But his blonde fingerwaves and kicky ascots will forever live on as long as Austin Scarlett is on this planet!

• Twice-baked po-Tatum O'Neal on her crack bust: "My dog died! I was sad!". Well then. Prepare to head down to 87th and buy a few baggies of rock because . . .

• Bo Diddley done doodley dieddley.
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June 02, 2008

Bad News, Bears: Tatum O'Neal Arrested

tatum_oneal_drugs.jpgIf we were named after a potato, we might want to escape by gargling the glass dick, too. According to WENN:
Troubled actress Tatum O'Neal has been arrested for buying crack from a drug dealer on the streets of New York.

The Oscar-winning former child star - who chronicled her recovery from a heroin addiction in her 2004 book A Paper Life - was spotted by a narcotics team exchanging money with a man three blocks from her home in the Big Apple.

The actress, daughter of actor Ryan O'Neal, initially told cops she was "doing research for a part", according to a police source. But, after authorities searched her and found two bags of drugs and a crack pipe, she changed her story, the source adds.

According to the New York Daily News, she pleaded with cops: "I've been clean for a long time. Today was the first time I was relapsing, but you guys saved me! Can you let me go?"

The Paper Moon star, 44, was charged with seventh-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance, a misdemeanour.
We're pretty sure that "research for a role" only works when you go to a $20,000/week rehabilitation facility. Not purchasing a baggie of crack on the street. At this point, we'll have Robert Downey Jr. claiming that his 25 years of drug addiction was just research for Less Than Zero. Even though it technically happened after he filmed that movie. It's called post-grad research, people,. more »
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May 08, 2008

The English Bobbies Have Cracked the Case!

amy_winehouse_woods.jpgPicture of class and grace Amy Winehouse was arrested again yesterday and brought in for questioning over her crack-smoking video of yore. According to our gossip interventionist, FemaleFirst:
Amy Winehouse's spokesperson said: "Amy voluntarily attended a London police station today by appointment. She was arrested in order to be interviewed and is cooperating fully with inquiries. The interview relates to a video handed to police earlier this year."

Amy then went shopping at 4am this morning (08.05.08), just hours after being arrested on drugs charges.

The singer chatted to photographers as she left her North London home, asking for suggestions for a new tattoo.Wearing a bandana with her husband's name written on it, she headed for a nearby petrol station to pick up drinks and magazines and seemed unconcerned about events from earlier in the day.
She was then spotted by several understandably shaken sources, lurching through parks, attempting to groom lice off of neighboring bystanders, and overturning rocks looking for tasty grubs. When asked for a comment, Amy emitted a high-pitched shriek and hucked her feces at her questioner.

amy_winehouse_monkey.jpg
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May 05, 2008

Megan Fox Has More In Common With Winona Ryder Than Just a Penchant for Dating Lame-os

megan_fox_lick.jpgWhen FHM's Sexiest Woman in the World Megan Fox needs a garlic press, a giant tub of Tresemme Tres Spray, some smelly trees for her car, and a pack of Hanes Her Ways, where does she go? Alas, not Wal-Mart. That place may be rolling back prices, but the prices do not roll for thee, Megan. IDLYITW reports that Megan has been banned from the much-maligned megachain because she hamburgled some lip gloss from them as a teen:
Fox was caught stealing make-up from a Florida branch of the Wal-Mart during her rebellious teenage years. And the incident has now seen her banned from the store. A friend of the star tells the tabloid, "Megan (Fox) was quite a rebel growing up. She thought she could get away with anything, and definitely had sticky fingers. "She would pocket things like candy and gum from convenience stores, but Megan's shoplifting days were quickly put to an end when she got busted for heisting a $7 tube of lipgloss from Wal-Mart. "At first, Megan denied it. Even after they told her they caught her on surveillance video, Megan still tried talking her way out of it. But when they threatened to call the police, Megan broke down in tears and confessed."
What kind of cruel, Guantanamo Bay-style tactics did those dastardly Wal-Martians use on our lovely Megan to coerce that confession? Force-feeding her that shitty popcorn they sell in the front? Making her wear certain kicky selections from the Jacklyn Smith collection? We don't know, but we do know what else Megan Fox has stolen. Our hearts. And, apparently, our pants. Give those back, you lovable scamp! more »
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April 28, 2008

Beering and Steering for Angie Everhart

Joe_Pesci_angie_everhart.jpgEarly Thursday morning, red-headed B actress/consort of Pesci Angie Everhart was arrested on suspicion of DUI. Reports TMZ:
Model Angie Everhart was arrested for DUI early last Thursday and held on $15,000 bail. She was released later that morning and is due in court on May 15.

According to an unconfirmed tip, Angie pleaded with cops to let her take a piss before submitting to a field sobriety test. After cops took her to a nearby restaurant to relieve herself, she took the test and failed. She refused to take any chemical tests because she said her attorney told her to refuse everything.
To refuse everything but another beer! HAHAHAHAHAH! This marks the first time we've seen "bust" by the name "Angie Everhart" and it didn't mean something GOOD! Baaaaahahahahahahahah! AhahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAAHHA! Oh, Leno, you have our number! Please, call! more »
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April 25, 2008

Amy Winehouse Assaults People, Lamppost

amy_winehouse_lamppost.jpg The beautiful and talented and oh, did we mention beautiful? Miss Amy Winehouse personified English grace, charm and modesty on Wednesday night with a quiet evening out with friends in London. According to The Sun:
[Amy Winehouse], is to be quizzed by police after claims she headbutted a Good Samaritan who hailed her a cab outside a bar. Amy, said to have punched a second victim in the face, sank to a horrific new low while high on Class A drugs. Onlookers told how the married singer also snogged a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks. She was later seen smoking drugs in the street, walked into a lamppost, and riled a cabbie by paying only HALF her promised fare home.
Today, she apparently cried all the way to the police station after her people picked her up and drove her to her questioning. Honestly, she has nothing to worry about. It's England--the country that would only put Pete Doherty in jail after his 43rd drug arrest. At most, the bobbies will say, "Tut tut, then, missus!" and give her a cookie. Or a "biscuit", as it were. If she gets sent to trial, she and the judge can have a wig-off.

UPDATE: Forget questioning, they straight-up arrested her! Maybe that headbutt was more serious than we thought. After all, her hair probably weighs more than a cannonball and is twice as hard.
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April 11, 2008

Punch That Funky Wife, White Boy?*

vanilla_ice_mugshot.JPGYo, VIP, let's kick it! Actually, let's shove it. Vanilla Ice, known as a white rapper in the late 1980s, a housemate on the reality show The Surreal Life, and a guy who has kept goatees and Caesar haircuts going way past the '90s has arrested last night after a domestic dispute with his spouse. TMZ reports:
Former rap star Vanilla Ice, real name Robert Van Winkle, was arrested at his home after an alleged altercation with his wife.

Ice was booked by Palm Beach County Sheriff's deputies at 10:43 PM ET on a charge of domestic battery. Sources tell TMZ he got into an argument with his wife, Laura, and he pushed her.
So now, not only do we have definitive proof that Vanilla Ice is a complete douchelord, we also have photographic proof that when you shave stripes into your eyebrows, they do stay like that forever. You were right, Mom! I mean, word to my mother.

* Alternate, equally distasteful title: "Check Out My Left Hook While My Wife Talks Shit."**
** CelebNewsWire does not condone domestic violence. The jokes, they write themselves!***
*** Please don't send us a letter filled with anthrax, Jezebel.com.
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April 08, 2008

Mischa Cops a Plea

mischa_barton_weed.jpgShiny-haired, T.a.T.u.-finding thespian Mischa Barton will not be stamping license plates, eating 50 eggs, magically curing Tom Hanks of his bladder infection, or any other jailhouse cliche we've learned from movies anytime soon. It seems that she's copped a plea in her DUI/drug possession case. Reports TMZ:
“O.C.” wanna been Mischa Barton has decided to take a plea bargain in her DUI case — clever girl that one.

A source tells TMZ that at her court date on Thursday she’ll plead no contest to the DUI charge. In exchange, the marijuana charge will be dropped and the driving without a license rap will be reduced to an infraction.

Greasy’s ex-GF will then have to serve three years of unsupervised probation, attend an alcohol education class and pay a fine.

A source tells us this is “fairly standard” for a first-time offender like Miss Mischa, who was arrested last December, adding that she’s “learned her lesson."
Now if only there existed such a thing as a Dating Racists and/or Men With Silly Putty Ballbags: Is It Right For Me? education class, Mischa would be all set, and ne'er would she press a scrotum to the funny pages again. more »
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April 04, 2008

CNW Junk Drawer: Eatin' Kids, Beatin' Pigs

hayden_child.jpg• Bite-sized Heroes star Hayden Panettiere volunteered at World Children's Day, where she proceeded to devour all the babies under age two and pick her teeth with their discarded, semi-gnawed rib bones. (The Blemish)

• Even when you take away her hand-held communication devices and remove her from the vicinity of assistants, Naomi Campbell will come out swinging and hissing and--yes--spitting. (Yeeeah!)

• Brandon Davis, alias "Greasy Bear", aka "Fat Elvis", is no longer anti-Firecrotch. He's decided he hates black people and gays way more. (TMZ)

• Angelina Jolie at a nubile sixteen! Before the blood, the Brad, the Billy Bob, the babies there was . . . really unflattering 1990s bathing suits with curious sheer cut-outs? (Egotastic)

• Mena Suvari's crapper is delectable in a thong. Do we mean "butt" or "toilet"? Click here to find out the shocking answer! (Drunken Stepfather)

• Anne Hathaway's boyfriend was arrested for bouncing a $250,000 check. Aw, that could happen to anyone. Oh, wait, we though that said "$2.50 check". (Celeb Warship)

• Who wears assless shorts? Gisele Bundchen wears assless shorts. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• I got fingered by Megan Fox (and it felt like a kiss). (Hollywood Tuna)

• Lucky Kristen Bell gets to pose on the cover of Cosmopolitan next to the blurb "When Your Boobs Act Weird". (Daily Stab)

• Jerry Seinfeld flipped his car. He's OK though, so we can all have a hearty guffaw or whatever. (Holy Taco)

• Cameron Diaz is looking very Amazonian in GQ. (Bitten and Bound)

• Tom Cruise takes Suri to the playground. Not to play, though. To have a series discussion about SPs and OC Clears. (A Socialite's Life)

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March 28, 2008

Poison's Rikki Rockett Arrested for Allegedly Misusing His Pocket Rocket

RikkiRockett.jpg It sure has been a bad week for pretty-boy crotch rockers. First Richie Sambora goes on a bender and decides it's a perfect time for a daddy-daughter drive down the PCH, getting popped for DUI and possibly being charged with child endangerment. And now Poison drummer Rikki Rockett (he was the one in the Poison Behind the Music that when you saw him you said, "Man, he got fat") was arrested on a "rape warrant." Looks like he really did want action tonight, satisfaction all night. TMZ reports:
The drummer for everyone's fave 80's hair band, Poison, was arrested Monday on a rape warrant out of Mississippi as he got off a flight from New Zealand at LAX.

46-year-old Rikki Rockett was busted by the Airport Division of the LAPD as he was going through customs. As the LA Daily News first reported, Rockett, a former hairdresser whose real name is Richard Ream, was transported to the L.A. County Jail, where he was booked on a felony fugitive sexual assault warrant out of Neshoba County, Mississippi. Where Rockett is exactly right now is unknown.

Information about the warrant and specific charges was not immediately available.

Rockett and singer Bret Michaels -- high school classmates -- founded Poison together. He was in New Zealand to reunite and perform with other original members of the band at Rock2Wellington, a huge heavy metal show.
And here we thought fashion metal was enjoying an upswing, what with Rock of Love and all. What's next? Is Janie Lane going to commit arson down at Uncle Tom's Cabin? Will Kip Winger finally be brought up on statutory rape charges for believing that even though she was only seventeen, she was old enough, old enough for him?
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March 27, 2008

Wanted (Waaaaaannnnnteeeeed!) Drunk or Alive

richie sambora_mugshot.jpgAha, now we know why Heather Locklear may have very recently been suicidal--her ex-husband likes to slam a few Zimas before cruising around the block with their daughter in the car! Yesterday, Richie Sambora was arrested for driving under the influence with his ten-year-old daughter Ava, Ava's young friend, and an unidentified woman in his vehicle. From TMZ:
Richie Sambora could be criminally charged with child endangerment.

Richie Sambora was busted for DUI with his 10-year-old daughter Ava in the car, along with another juvenile and another adult -- a woman. If Sambora was driving drunk, he could be charged with endangering the two kids.

Police sources tell us Sambora has not been charged with endangerment but the Laguna Beach P.D. is "actively investigating."
Someone should have told Richie that his liver is Slippery When Wet! That booze is like Bad Medicine! He gives Pubs a Bad Name! Better watch out or ooooooh, Ava's gonna be a little Runaway! Ugh, stop us now.
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March 19, 2008

Shia Wanted for More Than Just His Beef

shia labeouf thebeef sex machine.jpg When we think of Shia TheBeef, one word pops into our head: BAD. As in, "Oooh, he so BAD!" We really can't believe that he's managed to stay out of jail for this long. He does things like of-age drinking! And Harrison Ford cajoled and threatened, but TheBeef told us the name of the new Indiana Jones movie anyway. He didn't care how many times he got a cane to the back or Poligrip slipped in his morning coffee. Because he's a rebel. We heard he even likes to pull kittens' tails. Also landing in his pro column is smoking on a public street. TMZ reports:
We've learned a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Shia LaBeouf.

LaBeouf received a ticket February 18 in Burbank for unlawful smoking, a misdemeanor. He was supposed to appear in court at 8:30 AM, but neither he nor a lawyer showed -- so a $1,000 bench warrant was issued for Shia's arrest.

Shia was allegedly smoking on the sidewalk outside a shop called Skyblupink, a gift shop, when cops cited him.
Oooh, smoking less than fifteen feet from the entrance of a retail store! That is so high up there on the list of societal taboos. TheBeef might as well shoot someone in the head in broad daylight now, cause he's pretty much fucked.
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March 14, 2008

Steve-O Arrested, In Hospital, Crazytalkin'

steve-o_pants.jpgJackass's loveable star, Steve-O, is allegedly being held on suicide watch at Cedars-Sinai hospital, a la Britney, following his arrest earlier this month on a felony charge of cocaine possession. A Socialite's Life says:
Star magazine is reporting that he suffers from an "untreatable bipolar disorder," with asource saying that Steve is "very manic" at this point in time and that, "He was also treated for burns on his skin as if he had been putting cigarettes out on his own body." Over the weekend, Steve e-mailed suicide notes to a number of friends, prompting a friend of his and his bodyguard to take him to the emergency room.

According to an insider at the hospital, "Steve started flipping out. He told doctors he wanted to hurt himself badly. He wanted to break every bone in his body one by one."
In related news, the following video was uploaded to Steve-O's YouTube account today:



We're not super into mocking people who are obviously mentally unstable and/or whacked out on funny powder. However, may we suggest Cristy as the perfect mate for Steve-O? They can go on a date and talk about the fourth dimension and number theory.


:
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February 22, 2008

Aaron Carter Shirtless Returns, with a Whole Lot of Weed

aaron carter shirtless smoking pot.jpg Over the years here at CelebNewsWire we have collected a few nuggets of truth. For example: Claymates get really, really pissy when you call their idol a wussy little dildo who gets beat up by girls, Lindsay Lohan has pretty great knockers, and there is a select, determined group of individuals somewhere on the planet who wants nothing more out of life than to see AARON CARTER SHIRTLESS. Although it has slipped a bit lower on the list in recent months, there was a time in CNW history when that particular phrase popped up consistently in our top ten searched phrases, higher than Lindsay Lohan nude or Britney Spears upskirt. We've hoped that at some point one of these sad, lonely people looking for pictures of AARON CARTER SHIRTLESS would contact us and let us peer into their fractured psyche, but we've had no such luck. So today when we learned that Aaron had been busted for pot, we decided to bait these searchers, try to make them come out of hiding by posting one of our favorite photos of AARON CARTER SHIRTLESS. And of course he's smoking the weed, so it ties in to the part that is actually news. That's because we are true journalists. Or maybe that was true sadists. It was something that ends in ist. We can never remember.
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December 28, 2007

CNW Holiday Junk Drawer: 'Tis the Season to Be Drunky

mischa-barton-dui.jpgPlease allow these links to tide you over until January 2, when we will be hangover-free and ready to devote ourselves to bringing you nipple slips and Tinseltown fetuses once again.

• Mischa Barton got arrested for DUI and drug possession. Way to be Scrooges, cops. (TMZ)

• Fergie is engaged! To a man, even! Flossy, flossy. (A Socialite's Life)

• Jessica Alba is also engaged. Awwww, now her baby won't be a bastard. Cute! (Derek Hail)

• Robin Wright and Sean Penn are not engaged, however. In fact, they are getting a divorce. Perhaps she finally got a glimpse of him in the cold hard light of day. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Et tu, Brendan Fraser and wife? Oh, Encino Man, why can't you and your onion field hair plugs make love last? (Celebitchy)

• The sirer of Jamie Lynn Spears's unborn doohicky might not be Casey Aldridge. It might, instead, be Kevin Federline. Juuuuuust kidding, it's some old dude. (Yeeeah!)

• Gaze upon these photos of Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini and be revived. And then note sadly that Michael Bolton is the master of that body, and shrivel, groaning in pain. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Sharon Stone trots out those nips for a trip around the block. (Celeb Warship)

• Lindsay Lohan might as well face it, she's addicted to dong. (Egotastic!)

• Leelee Sobieski. TeeTee Boobichesti. (The Blemish)

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December 06, 2007

Klinker Sutherland

kiefer_jail.jpgYesterday, Kiefer Sutherland turned himself in to authorities and began serving a 48 day sentence for DUI. People mag scoops:
"Mr. Sutherland is very polite and humble. He was very cooperative during the booking process,” said jail spokesman Officer John Balian. “He will be issued an orange jumpsuit, and will be housed alone in a cell, since he’ll be a long-term inmate.” Sutherland will be assigned to laundry and kitchen duty, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner to the other inmates. As an inmate worker, he’ll be allowed the roam the jail “about 75 percent of the time” – rather than be confined to his cell all day – though the only time he’ll be in contact with other inmates is when he’s serving food, said Balian.

Sutherland previously released a statement saying, “I’m very disappointed in myself for the poor judgment I exhibited recently, and I’m deeply sorry for the disappointment and distress this has caused my family, friends and co-workers on 24 and at 20th Century Fox. I appreciate the support and concern that has been extended to me these last weeks both personally and professionally.”
Jail, kitchen duty, disappointment and distress, blah blah whatever, did you get a load of that booking photo? Good Christ, that man is making love to all of us with his eyes. Kiefer is definitely still in the running to become America's Next Top Inmate. "I love this boy. I love him," says Miss J. "The cah-meh-rah luhvs him," Twiggy croons. "Honestly, he's fallen flat for me before, but I can see a real model emerging in this photo. It's remarkable," says Nigel Barker. "THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I WAS JUST COMIN' UP, GIRLFRIIIIIEEEND! LOOK AT THOSE EYES! FIRE! FIRE! THAT'S FIERCE! NO DEAD EYES, JUST FIERCE LIKE THIS! RAWRAWRARWARWARRRRR! LOOK AT MY APRICOT-COLORED WIG! HA HA HA HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! FRIED CHICKEN! DOUGHNUTS! GLARBLELRLSALBER!" says Tyra.
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December 04, 2007

DUI-Type Thing

scott_weiland_sassy.jpegAccording to TMZ, Velvety Revolver Scott Weiland was arrested on November 21rst for "driving under the influence of a drug":
The Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver singer was driving on an L.A. highway around 6:15 PM on November 21 when he crashed his car. While the California Highway Patrol was investigating the non-injury wreck, they noticed Weiland appeared to be impaired. (Um ... ya think?) According to the police report, Weiland failed sobriety tests and refused to take a blood or urine test. He was released on $40,000 bail and will be back in court on December 13.
However, Weiland's rep explains:
“Scott Weiland was recently involved in a minor accident in Los Angeles and denies he was driving under the influence. He voluntarily took a Breathalyzer test which the defense believes registers well within the legal limit. He is anxious to get to court on December 13 and clear this matter up.”
Hey, Scott, where you goin' with that eightball? Where you goin' with that flask you found? And I feel, and I feel when the cops begin to smell your breath, will they smell Patrooooon?
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November 19, 2007

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Acts Like He's on an Episode of Airline

jonathan rhys meyers creepy eyes.jpg We're going to file this right along with such shocking stories as "Britney Spears is a bad mom" and "Pete Doherty does shit tons of drugs": Jonathan Rhys Meyers gets arrested for being a drunken skeeze. According to IMDB:
Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers has been arrested by police after a drunken clash with airport staff. The Tudors star is reported to have launched into an angry tirade at Dublin airport on Sunday after being told he was "unfit to travel." He was then charged and spent the night in the cells. The incident took place as the handsome 30-year-old - who entered rehab citing alcohol as the problem earlier this year - tried to check in for a flight back to London, where he is now based, after appearing on an Irish chat show hours earlier. According to British newspaper The Sun, witnesses saw the star being verbally abusive to a female airport worker, and repeatedly insisting: "I will get on this flight, no matter what." A police spokesman said he was due to face two public order charges in court in Dublin on Monday. His agent was unavailable for comment.
We really feel for the less-than-A-list celebs out there who have to do such unappealing things as inch through airport security and endure questions like, "Weren't you in that one movie? The one with that guy who's on that TV show I like? It was set in France or Antarctica or somewhere? I think there was a girl in it. It wasn't very good." Your Brangelinas and Tomkats get to fly in peace on private jets, while less monetarily blessed celebs have to endure atrocities like teeny tiny bathrooms and no foie gras with the cracker and cheese appetizer. No wonder so many of them get shit faced and punchy when they get near planes. Hell, we're the same way, and we're not even famous.
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November 14, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Gimme Moore (in a Bikini)

Demi_Moore_Bikini.jpg• Demikini. Bidemi? Moorekini. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Amy Winehouse plans to heal from her husband's arrest by backpacking through India. Yeah, there is absolutely nothing funny about that sentence. Nothing mockable there, no siree. (Socialite's Life)

• Tom Cruise sure can cut a rug, boy! Look at 'im jitterbug! He's doin' the Lindy Hop! Go, Tom! (Cityrag)

• Ladies and gentleman, the greatest film ever made: Major Movie Star, with Jessica Simpson. It's like Glitter meets Private Benjamin meets a gigantic BM. (Derek Hail)

• A lady beat up John Stamos on an airplane. Which was well-deserved; he had a hand in "Kokomo". (IMDb/WENN)

• Paris rubbing her person on a pole. Such is her wont. (Egotastic!)

• Lindsay Lohan is back to hanging out with her former element. The bad element. The lesbian element. No, wait, that's the good element. (Yeeeah!)

• Hey, look, it's a bunch of Victoria's Secret chippies dressed up like the Pink Ladies. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Brad and Angelina buy a man-made island in the shape of Ethiopia. Man-made? How gauche, that's like the cubic zirconia of islands. That said, we'll take one in the shape of a middle finger flipping off France. Yeah, buddy! USA! USA! USA! (CelebWarship)

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November 09, 2007

Amy Winehouse Gearing Up to Smuggle Shivs In Hairdo

amy_blake.jpgYesterday afternoon, cops raided the home of Amy Winehouse and her bottom-feeding, hat-favoring spouse, Blake Fielder-Civil. They allegedly used battering rams to get in, even! What a hilarious mental image: English bobbies in funny little hats breaking down a door and then bumbling about, saying, "Sorry. Sorry. Teddibly sorry about the mess, luv." Our gossip Assistant D.A., FemaleFirst, has the 411:
The troubled singer - who has battled alcohol and drug addictions - was out collecting a parcel when eight plain-clothes policemen using battering rams and crowbars smashed through the front door of her Camden house at 4.45pm yesterday (08.11.07).

A distraught Amy then watched husband Blake Fielder-Civil be taken away by police over charges of a conspiracy to pervert justice through his involvement with a £200,000 plot to fix a trial. Looking tearful and confused, and hyperventilating, 24-year-old Amy cried as handcuffed Blake was led away by police: "Baby, I love you. Baby, I'll be fine. I'll be fine, baby I love you."

Blake's mother, Georgette, said: "Amy is totally distraught. She's in pieces and rang me in a panic. She's too upset to talk right now, but we all need to be together. I'm on my way to see her now."

Blake, along with his friend Michael Brown, have both been accused of brutally assaulting barman James King, and allegedly offered him £200,000 in a bid to get him to change his police statement. If 25-year-old Blake is convicted of conspiracy to pervert justice, he could receive a life sentence.
We're just as surprised as you are. There was probaly 18 tons of pure crack chilling underneath the mattress, yet the cops nail Blake on some sort of pervert charge. Well, considering this is probably the only way that we'll ever get another album out of Amy--or get her to show up for concerts and video shoots--this is probably a good thing. Unless Blake has to forfeit his jaunty chapeaux in prison. That would be a tragedy of epic proportions.
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November 07, 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: Matt n' Mandy, Sittin' in a Tree

Mandy_Moore_criss_angel.jpg• Is our sweet angel Mandy Moore getting Binged? Oh Christ, NO! (Yeeeah!)

• Our favorite opiate connoisseur, Porky Petey Dough-erty, has returned to form. Now with video! (Drunken Stepfather)

• And Pete's ex, Kate Moss, sports some really sharp needles of her own. (Taxi Driver)

• Jerry O'Connell has hot wife; poor self-esteem. (The Blemish)

• Famous nipples met flash, and a beautiful friendship was borned unto us. (Cityrag)

• Leelee Sobieski is packin' mad mammage. (Daily Stab)

• Jessica Simpson navigates metal grate in stilettos. Hilarity ensues. (Egotastic!)

• Eva Mendes shills for Campari. Up next, CelebNewsWire promotes Alize and Blue Nun! (Derek Hail)

• Rihanna and Josh Hartnett are doin' it: their babies will be large of forehead and beady of eye. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Which is causing poor Shia the Beef to marinate himself in a nice vodka rub. (PopCrunch)

• Rebecca De Mornay? No, Rebecca Dui Mornay. (TMZ)

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