• Heidi Klum impregnated by Seal; expecting another flipper baby.

• Posh Spice to become godmother to Ginger Spice's baby daughter, Bluebell Spice. That's nice. When Bluebell needs advice on bulimia, tanning beds, and how to be a good trophy wife, she'll have a wealth of information at her fingertips.

• Yet MORE Toni Braxton nipples. You can put those things away now, honey.

• Nicole Kidman sends a case of beer to the paparazzi. We assume the reason for this was so that they wouldn't notice that her face has been freshly pulled, drawn up and over the back of her skull, and tacked into place for her upcoming nuptials.

• Robert Evans divorcing. Seventh time ain't the charm, apparently.

• Tera Patrick pics from FHM magazine. Which must stand for Fricking Humpable Mams.

• SNL's Andy Samberg gets Dunsted!

• Jen Love Hewitt's hugetits strapped in by nothing but a flimsy . . . Yoko Ono shirt?

• Michelle Rodriguez dreams of a relationship with Colin Farrell, but sadly, it can never be. Because he's not a girl.  

• Pink promises that for one day only, her wedding day, she will "be a girl". But after the ceremony is over, the dress and all its frilly, lacy trappings will come off, the foot-long silicone strap-on will come out, and Pink will bend her new husband over their marriage bed and show that little bitch who wears the pants.

• Heidi Klum probes her husband.

• Which one's cuter?: Mischa Barton with a kitty! Awww! Awwww! Awwwwwwwwww!

• 50 Cent will let his little boy mock murder people and watch porno, but cussing's where he draws the line.

• Lindsay Lo-ho and Keanu Reeves might be heading for a shack-up. One can only imagine the stimulating conversations these two have.

• Nip slip? Bah. Lip slip? Soooo two days ago. Rhona Mitra goes next level with an implant scar slip. Jealous, bitches?

• Sorry, boys! Elton John is officially off the market!

• The terrorists will never win when we have freedom on our side! Freedom, and Alyssa Milano's breast.  

Seal, Heidi Klum, her mother, and daughter Leni were swarmed by paparazzi two days ago when they were atttempting to enjoy a family meal at a New York City eatery patio. An enraged Seal charged the group, barked, clapped his flippers together, and balanced a shutterbug on his nose for a full five minutes before Heidi showed her appreciation by tossing him a few herring that she kept in a bucket by her feet.  

Heidi Klum is now officially Mrs. Heidi . . . uh . . . Mrs. Heidi Seal. She wed her adult contemporary crap-pop crooner in a ceremony in Mexico yesterday. Take THAT, Renée and Kenny Chesney! In your face!