Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest, sittin' on the beach.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes bearding, second comes herpes
Then comes the coy denials followed by convenient photo ops followed by couch jumping followed by a quickie engagement and miracle alien baby gestating in Teri's womb for approximately 6 trimesters.
 

• A slight look at Kelly Hu's Hu-ters.

• Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest dating? She says she "really enjoys his company". Well, duh. He knows about all the sample sales ahead of time, and he's so fun to enjoy a decadant whipped yogurt (only 140 creamy, dreamy calories!) with, while getting a deep tissue massage!

• OMG! Victoria's Secret is that Adriana Lima is a total virgin!!!

• Whoa, here she comes. Watch out, boy, Lindsay Lohan will chew you up.

• Sorry, ladies! Handsome beef-a-roni hunk Jack Black is officially off the market.

• Sorry again, ladies! Studly demigod Michael Bolton is also officially off the market. Enjoy that, Nicolette Sheridan.

• Jessica Alba is officially sexy, we know, but now Scarlett Johansson has been deemed certifiably pretty. Good to know.

• "Little black book" is just one of the many practical purposes served by Pam Anderson's grotesquely colossal plastic breasts.

• We mourn the demise of the leg man. If you're one of them, you will probably want to look into Paulina Rubio. Damn, that tomato's got some nice pegs.

• Paris Hilton prepares to get back to 1985 after harnessing a bolt of lightning hitting the clock tower.  

• Dennis Rodman says his affair with Madonna was "just alright", not "on a level", and "not all that". Then dropped his Most Hype Sayings of 1992 phrasebook in the toilet, sparing us any references to ". . . and a bag of chips", or Arsenio-style barking.

• How did B-lister Jared Leto land himself an Ol$en? By packing some excessive toolage, of course. Big dongs. The ladies do seem to enjoy them.

• Listen, we are slovenly Midwestern crapbags who are ignorant in the sparkly ways of you fancy coastal dwellers, so we don't know who the f this "Fabian Basabe" is. But we do know three things: he's a funny man, a gay man, and a racist man.

• Whooops, Mariah "The Glitterfly" Carey's clothes fell off! There must be pictures. Where are the damn pictures?

• Ryan Seacrest would like FOX to give him a raise. Highlights and tan-in-a-can are expensive

• Tiffani Thiessen gets married! Congrats! Wait, wait, wait. We remember Tiffani-Amber Thiessen from 90210. Who the hell is this "Tiffani Thiessen" person?

• Pssst! Angelina still likes sex! PASS IT ON.